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Not feeling like a lion. And I can hardly wait for the lamb. It's madness, I say. What a world! I couldn't care less about college basketball so I have other reasons for being mad this month. At the end of the month is spring break. I'm so looking forward to a trip out of town. I need a break so bad. Although I am going on a retreat with coworkers for three days I don't count that as a vacation. It's almost like work, but not quite. Actually, I'm kinda psyched about the whole deal. It's a good thing!
Work. Work. Work. I owe. I owe. It's off to work I go. Today was a day where I just work and work. It was non-stop with little to no breaks and super stressful. I had a splitting headache by the end of the day. I recognized earlier that it was coming on from dehydration so I had already started drinking a lot of water. I continued in that vein as I shopped for a present and a bottle of wine at Whole Foods. It was a lovely Shabbat dinner and a great way to end the long day.
A half and half kinda day. Raoul is trying to latch onto my Saturdays, a day which has traditionally been the only day of the week that I have the freedom to do as I please! But lately, it seems that Raoul isn't so busy on Saturday and insists on trying to direct my time management. So, today was a half and half kinda day. The first half I had my own time management and the second half he agreed to go to Marlins Park. It turned out to be a not so bad day after all having some fun.
I don't ever recall writing 100 words when the day was quite so young. Yes, it's only quarter past midnight and here I sit tippy tapping into my trusty MacBook Pro and thinking about what today will hold. I can't predict the future, but if I am fortunate enough to awaken from my slumber a few hours from now, I know we'll be going to the ghetto farmer's market. But that's all I know about Sunday, March 4. It's a Sunday and that's all that matters because it's a day of leisure. We don't go to any house of worship.
This is the third time I've written today's 100 words. The first time I accidentally closed the page without saving. The second time I don't even know what happened but somehow I looked away and when I looked back the words were gone. Easy come. Easy go. I was just writing the standard Monday entry. About how I don't really hate Monday. It's just another day of the week. And something about the weather because the temperature dropped again. We have a couple days of cool weather before the relentless rising of the thermometer. It really was a beautiful day.
The relentless march of time. That's what the month of March means to me. This is the month of the year when the world begins to spin again after being still for a few months. Although winter was a no-show this year and climate change refuseniks don't want to admit it, things are getting kind of weird on this here planet. I'm thinking that maybe it's a good thing that I'll celebrate six decades of living because I'm already thinking about checking out. But then I think, no, I'd like to be around for at least 20 more years.
Feeling so humpty but glad that a little bit of cooler weather has crept into our lives and made everything a little bit seasonal because people have the uncanny ability to denigrate the subtle shifts of weather here in south Florida because the transition from winter to spring is almost imperceptible but most noticeable at night when the temperatures still drop to cooler levels the winds are breezy and the humidity is lowest such a relief that the heat is bearable during the day because the cool breeze is a nice complement but soon it will be hotter than hot.
Oh man, I'm just going through the motions because I like it like that. But deep down I know that a big change is coming on the horizon and I'm thinking about it all the time, but I'll never be prepared. I just don't know what to do or say any more so I go day to day. It's a bad way to be because I like to think that I'm master of my own destiny. Maybe that's just a product of wisdom and age - I see clearer because there's less ahead to try to see. The end is near!
Thinking about Saint Patrick's Day too much. It's odd what I choose to focus on. Ever since that day a couple weeks ago when we went to Target and the whole front section was devoted to March 17 merchandise I've been focused on that "holiday." It's become a good excuse for a party and a chance for people to get totally inebriated and then blame it on the Irish. We know that group is stereotyped as a bunch of good time drunks. I can't remember the last party I went to on St. Pat's. Maybe this year I'll have one!
Wow. One week till St. Patrick's Day. What does that mean? I should take this week to plan a big shindig next Saturday. We haven't been party throwers for years. I guess it's been the gloomy house for about seven years since the Moms checked out. It seems like we just gave up living. Going through the motions. The beat goes on and the pace quickens. It just seems like the time - it flies. Is this what it means to get older? I want it all to slow down. How do I perceive time passing slower than I do now?
I'm all caught up, this 100 words thing sometimes feels like such an obligation but then I go back and look over what I've written and it's scary how much of it is lather rinse repeat and even though I call it a diary it ends up being rather repetitive like life truly can be sometimes because i wonder how i ever got into this rut but it's surely a deep one and wow it's so hard to get out it's like I think of a needle in a groove on a record and I'd like to make it skip.
The weather continues to be weird. As I sit here tippy tapping into my trusty laptop, I can hear the wind blowing outside. It's an odd spring wind. The other morning when I went to the beach for breakfast, the wind was practically non-existent. We're in daylight saving time right now, so the sunrise is really late, between 7 and 7:30. I'd go this morning, but since I only work half a day today, I'm wide awake before the crack of dawn. I won't be back until Friday at which time I'll write a week's worth of entries.
Did you know that in some countries, Tuesday the 13th is an unlucky day? In the US, Friday the 13th is supposed to be unlucky, but I remember learning in school that other countries have different customs. But, what is it about lucky or unlucky things? I always wondered how a rabbit's foot could be considered when the poor rabbit lost its poor foot. And what's with the worry about walking under a ladder. It's sorta common sense, no? I've walked under ladders before and it was with a great deal of care. I think superstitions are based on ignorance.
The days - they pass with regularity. The time - it marches. It's a relentless thing - the passing of time. Before I know it - another month is over. Just keep adding 'em up - and before you know it another year has passed. It's funny how it seems to have passed so quickly looking backward, but looking forward it seems like it will pass so slowly. Yet, it's all very regular. The slow and steady passing of time. It just keeps on going. The perception that time passed quickly is a false one. Time flies whether you're having fun or not. Yeah, baby.
Beware the eyes of Marge. What is an ides? Is it a measure of time or tides? The ides tides sounds like a tongue twister. I've been thinking about a certain friend whose birthday fell on March 15. He's been gone for at least a decade and I wonder what happened to all our friends we had in common. After he left, they disappeared. What does that tell me? They were really his friends and only pretended to be mine? They were faking being nice to me while he was alive but once he was gone the game was over.
Today was one of those days I just wished would pass by and be done. I floated through the day and just did what needed to be done. I've become very fluid at the office just doing what I'm told and letting the rest slide. I'm filled with resentment and not liking it. I need a change, but I've been saying that for years. The only time a change is going to happen is if I initiate it! Tomorrow is St. Pat's day and I have no plans whatsoever. I kinda like that. So we'll see what the day brings.
I broke out of my routine today but it wasn't easy. I was going to just go through the motions this morning, but Raoul was so quick to thwart my plans. I'm actually glad because we ended up taking a day trip way down south and having a luxury lunch by the water. I ran into a couple of old coworkers who were surprised to see us. We really enjoyed ourselves. It was a fun day. Totally worth it. And I got to spend some quality time with my two roommates. I like it when the status quo gets shaken.
Another odd day, but worthwhile. We went on the regular mission this morning to get vegetables in the ghetto. Isora and I did our usual drive through the neighborhood looking to photograph oddities. And then we drove north to the spay and neuter clinic because Raoul wanted to help clean. But the lady wasn't in the mood for help today so we went on our merry way and ran a couple of errands before going back home. Raoul had the bright idea to invite Melinda's aunt for a barbecue which turned out simply divine - shrimp and steaks. Yum. Yum. Yum.
I love how I can whip myself into an awfulizing frenzy before Mondays. I don't want to go to work so I imagine all the ways I could pretend to be sick and then I end up getting ready and going to work anyway. Isn't there something inherently wrong with having to psych oneself to go to the office? It means that it's time for a cool change. I know I should be happy to have a job, but I'm so miserable. I wonder if I would ever be happy in a job. It seems to last a few months.
I was dreading going to work today and then I told myself, "Self, it's just another day." So I sit here tippy tapping into my trust MacBook Pro instead. I'm watching The Today Show and drinking a cup of coffee. If I get up as soon as I'm done with this little entry, I will be about half an hour late. That's okay, because Tuesday is a day that is notorious for forcing me to stay at least half an hour late. Recently, I've stayed as a late as an hour and a half. It really is just another day!
A free day since I called in sick. If I had my way, I would do nothing on a sick day, but lie in bed feeling rather sick. Instead, I was whisked off to 100 Montaditos for a lunch with friends and family. Afterward, back home, I napped for a couple of hours as a result of a bit too much beer. Then, we were off to a garden party that went on a little too long. Back home for an evening of lying in bed watching the glass mammary. I stayed up way too late and will pay tomorrow.
I'm watching that show "Storage Wars" where they go to storage lockers and break the locks and auction the contents. I just realized that the whole thing is most likely staged and dramatized. There's nothing reality about this show at all. These are just characters that are created from nothing and paid nothing and are signing away their rights to be on television. I wonder what happens when they get a certain level of fame? We just saw a billboard for one of these guys appearing at the Indian casino. What a freak show, but I love all of it.
Today was the annual day off at work. The bad part about this day is that it's always a surprise. Since we're never told in advance, it always means putting off anything that has already been planned. So, I went with it and made the most of it, although I was really still working while enjoying all the fun activities. By the end of the day I had taken the 300 plus photos and created an almost four minute video and emailed it to 3000 e-mails. I felt a certain sense of pride and satisfaction at my accomplishments today.
I decided that I'm not going to visit Helen every week any more. It's not really worth it, since today she didn't even realize that it had been two weeks since my last visit. When she was first in the nursing home, I used to visit once a month. I think the pendulum is swinging back the other way. Today she was fixated once again on wanting to go home. It's amazing that after all these years, certain thoughts just never go away. I've also noticed an increase in her level of anxiety. The moments of lucidity are worth it.
Today's a day of trying to fix all the things that I've let go by the wayside for ever so long. It's a good thing to try at least once in awhile and pretend to be making forward progress. There's so much to be done and it seems insurmountable, but I know in my heart and I've read it over and over that if you just take a project and break it down into little pieces, you just have to be very very patient. I'm thinking that if I start now, I could be done in a couple of years.
After a weekend wallowing in my misery of being sick, I went to work today. I was appalled at how many times I was asked, "Do you have a cold?" So, I just sneezed my way through the day. I had another horrible night last night, but I'm getting up and getting ready and going to work again. Mom always said if you don't have a fever there's no reason to stay home. I actually broke out the thermometer this morning. It wasn't easy finding it because I don't think it's been used in decades. No fever. I'm outta here!
Oh how I wish I could just stay home and lie in bed all day. I'm a little rough around the edges. What a crazy night! I swear I got up every hour on the hour and made a little pish and went back to sleep. One time I woke up covered in drool. That was really charming. My nose is clogged with yellowish mucus and I have a really hideous cough. At least I'm not sneezing like a maniac today. Why is there no cure for the common cold? There's nothing common about it. It's a royal pain alright.
Hump Day and TGIF all rolled into one! That's what happens when a vacation begins on Thursday. It's a true sign of the bad economy when, once again, I'm on staycation instead of taking a real getaway trip. Oh well, at least I live in a place where people from all over the world come for vacation, so I just have to change my state of mind from everyday to vacation world. Can do. I just need to put on some shorts, sandals and hit the beach. I haven't been to the beach in years and I always liked it.
It's day one of 10 days away from the factory of the mind. What a blessing it is to have paid time off. It's all mind over matter - if you don't mind, it don't matter. But, I am home and suddenly I'm in demand. As a matter of fact, His Royal Smallness has declared that today I will take him and his sister's 16-year-old min-pin to the shelter to have the doggy put to sleep. Lard have mercy. What a way to start a trip. Now, I'm determined that I will take at least a weekend away.
It's funny how we try to run away from life. Today we ran away and ate some really crispy fried chicken wings along the Hollywood Broadwalk. I also had a rather insipid gyro and we all chewed on a really chewy pizza. All this plus some salad and beer for the reasonable price of $80. We did have a good time sitting oceanfront and it was a nice get away. But when we got back home all the same problems were still here. I went to sleep for a couple of hours. The rest of the day is a blur.
March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Well, this year it was more like lamb and lamb. What a beauty month this was. We had a few rainy days and mostly sunny low humidity days. Although I worry uselessly about the hot summer, I have enjoyed the spring temperatures. We even went to the beach a couple of mornings this month which was a perfect way to start a day. I look forward to nine more months of twenty twelve. It's a great year and I feel many wonderful things are coming our way soon.
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