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Haven't written my 100 words in awhile because the site was down! Finally came back today, so I have five entries to write.
There's a lot to talk about. Not. My life is so routine that when I went back to re-read some of my entries I was surprised at how repetitious they can be. But I guess that's not so bad after all. It just means I've become old and predictable. But really, I guess it means it's time to shake things up and start something new and quit being so boring and repetitious all the time.
The Friday before a three-day weekend is filled with anticipation. The whole day, all I can think about is how I'm going to f--- off for the next three days. The day goes by ever so slowly because all I can think about is how much fun it will be to be non-productive for three days. Fridays are good days anyway because I think all day about the two days coming up where I don't have to be at the factory. On the Friday before a three-day weekend, I am super excited that I have three days!
Ricki and I went to an all-you-can eat Chinese buffet today that was really awful. That was the highlight of my day. I had already visited Helly, who was in a surprisingly good mood. But after lunch, I came back home and was a blob for the rest of the day. Although Raoul did decide he needed to go to his brother's house, so he left Isora and me to have dinner together. I couldn't think about anything but the Shake Shack, so we went and had burgers and fries and beers and it was really really good.
Day number two of being a big old blob. I didn't even go with Raoul to the ghetto farmer's market this morning. I just laid in bed and read the newspaper and listened to music on the Internet. Once again, I slept for most of the day. People might think I'm just depressed, but a weekend spent napping is one of my favorite things to do. I wanted to get some house cleaning done, but all I could think of was that I wanted to celebrate Labor Day weekend not doing any labor. And I didn't do any. Yay me.
The highlight of day number three of blob weekend was taking Mr. Cat to the pseudo vet to get another shot. His skin condition doesn't seem to be improving and Raoul has been harping that we need to take him to the sleepy place. He thinks that it's time to put Mr. Cat to sleep, but I think that we could try a little more to see if we can do something about his terrible skin condition. He's such a loving cat, but it's clear that his skin condition is causing him a lot of misery. I can keep hoping.
Remember: Exactly 100 words. No more, no less. When I first started this, it seemed so easy and effortless. No I find that it's become a drudgery, an obligation and something that I seem to dread. I go for days without writing anything and then I force myself to write hundreds of words so that I can ketchup. Makes me think of that old saw, "Been down so long it looks like up to me." I told one of my coworkers today, "I'm not happy." And she said, "That means you're quite content." Why am I happy to be unhappy?
This is the cruelest time of the year. When the rest of the country is finally getting a break from the relentless summer heat, the high temperatures continue unabated here. And to make things even more anxiety producing, it's the peak of the hurricane season. Every year at this time, as Raoul likes to say, the conga line begins to form. Not just one or two or even three storms swirling about, there are four of 'em right now. And even though three look like they'll go elsewhere, it's that one that threatens us that ratchets up the anxiety level.
All the treatments we've been giving to Paco have done nothing and probably will never alleviate his skin condition. So, last night we discussed the humane thing to do. We both shed a few tears over a sweet little feline boy. He slept with me last night and was purring so strong. But it's apparent he's not well since he was shivering so badly. I told Raoul I would go with him but he's adamant that his nephew go and I go to work instead. It's not going to be easy to come home tonight without that darling cat here.
The grind. I'm ground. On the ground. Ground up. Been down so long it looks like up to me. Thank you Richard Fariņa. I'm so stuck it feels sticky all the time. I'm ready to jump outta my skin. I need a sea change. And I'm the only one who's gonna make it happen. I've been in the thinking mode for at least a decade, so why am I so hesitant to make the next move? It's fear of failure. I'm so worried that I won't be a success, but lately, that's all I can think. I'll be successful.
My routine is just that. Routine. I'm way too predictable. I'm always doing the same things on the same days. Why have I become this way? Is this a trait of all old people? Or am I just boring? It's boring me to even type these words! Sheesh, get a life already. It's time to just buck up and admit that you're who you are and be who you gotta be and be happy you are who you are and stop doubting every little thing and be confident and courageous. It's about time already. Times a-wastin'. How many years?
Letting the days go by, but somehow satisfied that's the way it is. I don't need fame. I don't want fortune. That's why I'm content to have enough. Life's been good to me so far. I'm happy to have made it this far and looking back, I should consider myself one of the fortunate ones. Just the fact that I was born in North America in the '50s and I'm caucasian makes me a candidate for a pretty good future. I think I did a good job of making a life and I'm prepared to live a pretty good future.
It's not easy to face one's own mortality. Middle age is just that. The point in one's life where you're halfway there. I'm way past middle aged. We were just discussing how many more years we think we'll be alive. Raoul thinks 5-10, and I think 15-20. What a thought, but oh my my how optimistic! I look forward to at least another good decade before any true health failings. Hopeful, again. But I don't ever want to end up in a "home." It's a dreadful way of life and it's not what the future holds for me.
Friday the 13th came on a Tuesday this month. I remember a Spanish teacher telling me that Tuesday the 13th is unlucky in some Spanish speaking countries. Too bad we didn't have the Googles back then so I could immediately verify her claim. Instead, I have kept the memory alive by repeating it over and over as though it were the gospel truth. And speaking of the gospels, who says they're truthful? If shopping is a pleasure, then take me to Publix so I can buy only healthy foods. I feel fat as a house and I am losing weight.
I've got a new life. I have turned over a new leaf. I am on a new streak. I am ready to begin. I have to make it happen. It's time to stop thinking and begin doing. I've thought about it for years. Maybe that's what my life was meant to be - a thoughtful life. Well, if that's the way it was meant to be, then so be it. So have it been.
I like to go shopping, but not to the mall. Take me to a good thrift shop and I am very happy. I am a good consumer.
Beware the Ides of September! I don't know why I thought of that today, but it ended up being true. Today at work was a fresh steaming turd that just wouldn't flush. It was all the things that I loathe about my job at that factory. And after an early morning meeting when I came back to my office, I was literally vibrating. I realized it was time for me to go. I wanted to leave at that very moment! But I knew that a friend was meeting me for lunch and I did not want to stand her up.
Oh, heavenly one, thank you for making the day we call Friday, so that when it's over I can feel free and alive and one with the world. Whoever invented the five-day work week was a slave driver. Must've been. I think we should work two days and have a five-day weekend. Now, how's that for productivity, mister? I think the world would be a much happier place. But I don't rule the world. I just rule me. So, why am I toiling away in a factory where I feel unappreciated and I'm on a road to nowhere?
Love me some Saturday. I went about my routine very softly this morning knowing that I didn't have to go to the devil's warehouse except to fill up the car with some cheap gasoline. I visited with Helly who was in an unusually good mood. An hour later, I was in line buying gasoline and shortly thereafter I was back home in bed resting for the afternoon. I'm not happy about having to work tonight, but I figure after a nice nap for a couple of hours, I'll be ready to go. It's at least half an hour drive there.
The rain tapped softly on the windows when I was awakened by kitty meowing this morning. What a special day! Raoul brought me coffee in bed which hasn't happened in months. As I sit here tippy tapping into my trusty MacBook Pro 17, life is good. We are preparing to go through our usual Sunday routine of buying vegetables, visiting with his brother and coming back home. Except today, I think we're doing the alternate routine which includes a visit to the Bagel Bar and Home Depot. Raoul is having a hissy about Isora's dog who is nearing the end.
I don't like Mondays. I've written it many times before, but Monday is just the beginning. Because I don't like Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday either. I loves me some Saturdays and Sundays. Now, why don't I like weekdays? Because I am at the factory toiling away in relative anonymity making beautiful things and getting little recognition for my greatness. I don't like feeling unappreciated and I vow to make a big change before year end. I'm not happy and the only way to become happy again is to make things the way they should be to ensure my happiness.
100. It has a lot of different meanings. $100 is a lot to many people. For me, it's like $10 nowadays what with the state of the economy. It's like you have to make 10 times more just to get by! But that's not the point. The point here today is the number 100. My new favorite restaurant is 100 Montaditos. They have 100 items on the menu and they range in price from $1 (yes, $1!) to a few bucks. It's a fantastic place to get a few nibbly things and a couple of beers and just kick back.
Drink our coffee couched in our indifference like shells upon the shore you can hear the ocean roar in the dangling conversation.
That's what I'm listening to. It's amazing how music can take me back to a certain place in time. This song will always make me think of junior high and high school when I was just finding out what folk music was. I was too young to be a hippie, so I was one of Abbie Hoffman's Zippies! Do you remember them? I went to see him speak at UF and even stole his book, "Steal this Book."
I grew up in the technological age before the advent of cell phones and the Internet. Everything is becoming more and more Internet-based. It was inevitable. And the Internet is totally commercialized. That was also expected. And very little is free nowadays (as it should be). And that was also expected. But it's still fun to be an Internet pioneer. This writing of 100 words every day is nothing but a powerful Internet experiment and I'm happy to be a small part of it. Writing 100 words every day is a good exercise in discipline and patience, learning daily.
Loving me some Friday, especially after clocking out of the factory. It was a grueling week, but I learned a valuable lesson this week. I already knew it, but I became more conscious of this little known fact of life. If one learns to love one's lot in life, one will be a lot happier one. It all depends on your outlook - if you don't mind it don't matter. It's like mind over matter. I'm ready for a fun time this weekend. I want to do fun things and have a good time and live life to the very fullest!
I've been a fan of the horizontal position for a long time. I like to lie down a lot. I think it's good for ye. But while lying down, I also like to close my eyes and go into a sleeping mode. I do this in the middle of the day and call it a nap. For as long as I can remember, I've enjoyed a Saturday nap. Today was no exception. A good nap for a couple of hours makes the rest of the day go by so easily. I wish we could nap at work during the week!
What a real nothing of a day. No ambition. No desire. No forward movement. We went through the motions, but I could tell that not only were we not in the mood, we weren't in the mood for each other. Raoul dropped me off at the community garden at 8 a.m. and I got busy right away. An hour and a half later I was back home and soaked with sweat. I took a shower, made lunch and went for a nap. Later when I woke, I made dinner and went back for another nap. What a great day!
The specialness of September 26 is that it's Michele's birthday. I haven't seen her for decades, but she was my girlfriend in high school and I always think of her on September 26. She's the same age as me, but I still think of her as that buxom 17-year-old Jewish princess. My father called her
I thought it was an insult but it wasn't too many years later that I realized he truly meant it as a compliment. I guess I was attracted to
girls with large breasts. Then I was attracted to men. Go figure.
What a long day! Here I sit tippy tapping into my trusty MacBook Pro after such a long day. I was awakened at 0400 by the ringing of Raoul's cell phone. It was Melinda claiming she had called by mistake. Whatever. I was awake and didn't really go back to sleep except for some fitful shuteye for about an hour. I got up and got ready, went to Starbucks and was at work 10 minutes early. I stayed five hours late. Will I get compensated for the extra time? No. I might get some extra time off, but big whoop.
Happy lunar new year to all those who observe the occurrence. It's that time of year to get all introspective and look forward to a new year of possibility. The next 10 days are a time when I'm in awe of what life holds. It really is true that anything is possible. Fear is a powerful deterrent to moving forward with any new endeavor. Once one gets past that hurdle, the reality becomes manifest - anything truly is possible. I am completely optimistic about the future and I am content with the present. I have written a very long gratitude list!
This is the second year in a row I haven't gone to Rosh Hashanah services. I liked going for the past decade to the free services at the Lincoln Theater and a couple of years at the Colony Theater. The Jewish Federation made the services possible all over the county for unaffiliated Jews. But in the last couple of years, there has been a new push to have people attend services at a synagogue whether it's for free or one decides to join the synagogue (possibly at a reduced price). I don't feel a need for synagogue affiliation to worship.
The lightning just blew out the modem. I think that's about the fifth one in 10 years. Used to be, the phone company would send you a new one considering the amount one pays monthly for the service. But these days, nothing is free. I promise if I threaten to disconnect the service they will send a refurbished modem free of charge. At least, that's what I hope. The call center was closed tonight, so I'll call first thing tomorrow and hope for the best. When the woman told me a modem would cost $75, I was rather taken aback.
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