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09/01 Direct Link
The calendar says summer is coming to an end, but no one has bothered to inform Ma Nature. The news calls it Oppressive Heat, and that really says it all, doesn't it? One step outside and the atmosphere is almost edible it's so thick with humidity. Oh, how I long for the cool days of winter. I can't even call them cold, since our temps rarely venture below 50, but it will do. At least I get the chance to wear hand-knit sweaters and cozy wool socks... even if I have to turn on the ac to do it.
09/02 Direct Link

I talked to an old flame today. Just a few minutes, online, but it was enough to put me into a memory funk. It was an odd relationship from the start. We both knew it was finite since I was moving in 5 months, but it was intense. He just told me that I was his first. I had always felt kind of bad for being with him (he was just 16, I was almost 18) when I knew it was temporary, but this has added a new layer of guilt that wasn't there before.

09/03 Direct Link
The end of week 2 of school marks the beginning of a new weekend, a long weekend. I never know what things will be accomplished, or not accomplished in my quest to be a better mom. It is difficult for me to find fun things for my sons and I to do during our days off that will get us out of the house, but not be too hot. The beach is out, so is a theme park. Maybe a nicely shaded park will do? Just not another day in front of the tv! 
09/04 Direct Link
I borrowed the book "The Sneaky Chef" and have been using the recipes in it. The author suggests many ways to include vegetables into your diet like adding healthful purees, which are matched by color to a dish. I added white bean puree, which is navy beans and water, to boxed macaroni and cheese giving it valuable protein and fiber. I also made the Brainy Brownies, which include baby spinach leaves and blueberries. I liked the brownies and the mac was ok, but the family was not thrilled.  
09/05 Direct Link
I have so much to do and zero desire to do it. I keep plodding along in mommy-hood, waiting for the 3 year old to stop waking up at 6:30, learn to wipe himself, to come to grips with boundaries and the 9 year old to learn modesty, quit whining and start acting like a adolescent male instead of a 5 year old girl. I find that I get so frustrated, with both of them, and the constant bickering and whining makes me want to eat a bullet. I had really hoped the meds would help. They're not.
09/06 Direct Link
Labor Day marks the start of the strangest week since I got laid off. I was an event planner in the RV industry and, for the past 6 years, I left for our annual convention the day after Labor Day. Convention was my baby, and one of the biggest parts of my job. Although it was a lot of work and long hours, it was a heck of a good time at a beautiful resort away from my family. I should be packing right now, but instead I'm doing homework for a degree I hadn't even considered a year ago.
09/07 Direct Link

During the Winter Olympics, the knitting community hosts the Knitting Olympics. There are only 3 rules:  the project must be a challenge; you cannot start before the opening ceremonies and you must be finished by the closing ceremonies.  4 years ago was my first Olympics and my first sweater. It took me 3 days, so not enough of a challenge. This year, the sweater I chose was beautiful, but was too challenging and I missed the deadline by 6 hours. I look forward to the challenge next time; I’ve got 3 years to pick the perfect project! 

09/08 Direct Link
I went to Divine Designs yesterday to get my hair cut. I've never been to such a fancy salon before and it was fantastic. An ocean away from the discount $9 cuts that I've become accustomed to. I was offered a drink when I arrived, my stylist gave me a fantastic consultation and I got excited about her vison before my hair was even washed. She spent an hour washing, cutting, and styling, and I left feeling like a million bucks. Although I couldn't justify paying $40 for a haircut, it was almost worth it.
09/09 Direct Link

I'm in the process of doing my pre-requesite classes so I can apply to the nursing program next year. This is my first time in college and I feel old and dumb and SO not cool. Not that I was ever cool in high school, but wow. I've decided that algebra is from the devil, compound inequalities were created as a torture device and organalles are impossible to remember. I'm sure that I'd get more accomplished if I stepped away from the computer, but the more problems I have understanding, the less I try. Not a good sign.

09/10 Direct Link
My first college exam is week away in Anatomy and Physiology. I am a little bit worried about a few of the parts like tissues and organelles. Add to that my complete ass backwards understand of compound inequalities in Intermediate Algebra and I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed. I have been praying for guidance and clarity, and I am confident that the answers will become clear on test day. I will, however, spend my time this week studying and trying new ways to memorize the facts and photos that I will be tested on. Wish me luck!
09/11 Direct Link

Nine years ago, this day, was epic. I can now understand how my grandparents felt about D-Day and my parents about Kennedy's assasination. I will always remember.
It was my second day of training for a new job, when someone came to herd us into the large lunchroom. We crowded around giant tvs on the wall and watched as they recapped the first plane hit, and we watched the second hit in silent horror. Strangers sharing this most horrible of times, crying, sharing stories, waiting, praying. God Bless those we lost that day. 

09/12 Direct Link
I decided long ago that math was from the devil. I am not a math person, nor do I play one on tv. I am right brained and a creative person. I knit and crochet, and there have been times that knit 2, purl 2 give me problems and I have an issues counting to 2 reliably. Now that I'm in boom-boom college math (Intermediate algebra) and I am having to learn about inequalities and fraction bull shit, it has made me realize my problem. Math requires gnomes and magic to figure out, and my gnome ran away.
09/13 Direct Link
I am hosting a coupon class in a couple weeks and I am trying to write up an outline to use while I am speaking. Thank goodness it is only a dozen of my closest friends, because I have such horrible stage fright. I keep getting stumped on where to start speaking. They all know me so I don't need to introduce myself or tell my story, but that seems the proper thing to do. I could start out by showing my box of freebies for the homeless, or one of my awesome receipts. How about giving stuff away?
09/14 Direct Link

I have always been a fan of the drama shows that feel real but arent. Shows like Bones, CSI, NCIS and the like. I also really like the out-there but with a good plot shows like White Collar, Chuck, True Blood and Royal Pains. I do find it interesting, however, that the more I learn in my anatomy class, the more I am understanding the terms in the feel-real shows. Is it very pathetic that I get a little thrill when they say an anatomy term that I know I get excited? Yeah, I thought so.  

09/15 Direct Link
I enjoy watching ghost shows on tv but sometimes they scare the piss out of me. I seperate these shows into two categories: real and intelligent, and dumb but good for entertainment. For example, Ghost Adventures (which my husband and I jokingly refer to as "Dude") is dumb but funny and Ghost Hunters seems  intelligent. I hate scary movies and dislike being scared. It's funny to me that I even like these shows. Sometimes the evidence is great. I envy their job but I don't think I'd be able to do it!
09/16 Direct Link
My grandfather has been in New York for a few weeks and is finally on his way back. He has the world's worst sense of direction and that, frankly, scares me. He does have a GPS, but doesn't use it. He has maps and written directions, Trip Tiks and his daughter's a phone call away to help him on his way. Two days into his trip from New York to Florida found him in Pennsylvania... sort of in the wrong direction. But he is now closer to Florida and should be home this weekend! I can't wait to see him!
09/17 Direct Link

I had my first anatomy and physiology exam today. I was confident that I knew the material pretty well but nervous because I hadn't taken a test like that since high school, in 1993. I didn't cram the night before. I figured that if I knew it I knew it. I got to class a few minutes early and thumbed through my notes for a few minutes, then got to it. I finished my test in half an hour, I thought it was too fast but I wasn't the only one finishing early. That's a good thing!

09/18 Direct Link
My taste in music ranges from crappy girly pop to country, Contemporary Christian to heavy metal, 80's hits to hair bands. Music is a constant in my life. Music goes with me when I drive, motivates me when I clean and keeps me company while I make dinner. Music makes me happy, makes me sad or brings me back to far away times and places. Music helps me see myself in different ways, feel things I have never felt, and relax when I am stressed out. Music makes the world around me better. 
09/19 Direct Link
I can't believe how far behind I am on these things. I had really good intentions at the beginning to sit down every day and write a little something. Not hard, right? Well, sometimes real life gets in the way. In this case, I had a new class start. Sociology - the study of society. The reading is boring, but it is interesting to see how our lives are just a little part of the whole world. We see ourselves as It, the thing our world revolves around, but apparently we're just a speck of dust in the scheme of things.
09/20 Direct Link
I took my wedding ring off today. I've gotten to the point where it is too tight to wear comfortably. I don't know if it's water retention in my fingers, or weight gain, or even arthritis from crochetingso much over the last few years. It was such an odd thing to do, and I was embarassed to have to tell my husband what I was doing. I'm sure that I could have just taken it off and he wouldn't notice, but I thought it would be best if he didn't "catch" me not wearing it and think the worst.
09/21 Direct Link
24 hours without my wedding ring on has got me thinking about going on a diet. I have had a horrible relationship with my weight for such a long time. When I was a kid, pre-puberty, I was so tiny. Like, 45 pounds when I was 9, then after puberty struggled often.
Grow up, get married, have 2 kids and boom, I'm having a hard time getting the weight off. I've done a few fad diets, a few even worked pretty good but they are not something that I could keep up with, especially with a family to feed.
09/22 Direct Link
I got a letter from the Department of Children and Families, and I was a little worried by it. Worried until I opened it up, that is. Apparently, the cost of living has gone down, and food stamps will now be only $475 instead of $476 a month. I laughed, and told my husband that I think I can add a dollar's worth of wiggle room to the grocery budget! I'm sure that there are going to be many people up in arms at losing the dollar, I can just picture the news stories. But c'mon, it's just a buck.
09/23 Direct Link
I have an essay to write about hope or fear. I am generally an optimistic person so I thought it was going to be hope. I am also a great big ball of fear, so I think that I'll write what I know and do fear. The Webster defines fear as a painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm; dread. Now I need to figure out how I define fear. That's where my biggest challenge is. I know what fear means, but how do I explain it?
09/24 Direct Link
I had a niece today. Maybe. My brother's "lady friend" had a little girl named Kenzie. She's 7 weeks early and very tiny at only 4.8 lb and just under 18" long. Thankfully she's breathing on her own but she'll be a guest of the hospital for at least a week.
This leads me to wonder if she is my brother's little girl. I wonder, because this weekend also marks the 1st birthday of the "lady friend's" first little girl, which she claimed to be my brothers and which dna proved otherwise. Now we wait a week and see.
09/25 Direct Link
Kenzie is still doing ok, but she is still so very small. I wished that I lived closer (they are in New York, I am in Florida) so that I could see her. From the pictures, she looks like it is possible she could be my brother's child. The first one wasn't even the same race. I was so excited to have a niece, even if it didn't come with a sister-in-law (or even a girlfriend), and I was heartbroken when I saw pictures of her and knew, even without the benefit of dna, that she wasn't mine.
09/26 Direct Link
This situation is impossible. I wonder what Emily Post would say. I have been tossing this whole baby thing around in my brain, trying to make some sense of it. Suppose Kenzie actually is my niece. Come Christmas, do I get a gift for her and the other baby? I can't afford to get my own kids gifts, but since the little girl has no idea what her mama did, or with whom (I don't know if a "dad" has come into the picture, but I don't think so), it seems like I should treat them equally. It's so confusing.
09/27 Direct Link
Kenzie is still in the hospital, but we should have dna results around the first of October. I didn't want to be, but I am so excited about getting that information. I feel like I'm setting myself up to be hurt, but she swears my brother is the daddy. Actually, she still swears the first baby is his and that dna (and apparently race) are wrong. It's an odd thing. If it were my brother-in-law, who is in a committed relationship, were to be the dad, I'd have made her a baby blanket by now. I hate waiting.
09/28 Direct Link
My grandfather had to go to the psych ward. My grandmother lost her battle with MS and Emphysema in April, and up until now, Grandpa has been doing pretty well. However, now he's completely lost touch with reality. I don't if too much beer started it, but he swears she is still with him and can't understand why no one will acknowledge her when the come into his house. He didn't understand why my mother and my aunt were both telling him Grandma was gone, because he knows shes not. I pray he gets the help he needs, and soon.
09/29 Direct Link
I have 2 sick boys home today, a 3 yr old and 37 yr old. I don't know who's worst at being sick though. Little guys just want you to hold them and get them some juice, the big ones don't know what they want. The upside is that I'm not sick. When I am sick right along with them, they still need me to be mom and cater to their every whim, even if I feel like the mac truck ran over me too! Why do grown men still need a mom, and mom can't have a sick day?
09/30 Direct Link
Coupon class is Sunday so I thought I'd give pointers here. Stores have a 12 week sale cycle. When it's cheap or free, buy enough to last. until the next great sale. If the store has a BOGO sale, use 2 coupons, or 1 BOGO coupon and get both items free. Use both a store coupon and a manufacturer coupon with a sale for free, cheap or better than free items. Plan your menus around the best deals for the week. If you get something free that you won't use, give it to charity.