It amazes me when people give you an impossible task, resist suggestions to make it possible and then get offended when it fails. I've been suggesting alternatives to achieve their very narrow criteria and make it workable for months and been blocked every time. Why ask me to do it if you're not going to give me any power to achieve it? It was always going to fail this way, and fail it has, and now they have the gall to be angry!!! Suddenly they're the victims and I'm the villain. I want to scream!
I tend to agree with the advocates of CBT; its a combination of the traits we were born with and the environment we are born into. We learn from and experience the same environmental stimuli differently depending on our personality and our interpretation of previously experienced stimuli. As we learn and grow we build upon our previous experience and how we have interpreted the outcomes of that experience. If our previous courses of action had positive results we continue to act in that way, if they result in less positive outcomes then often we will amend them. Consequences promote behaviour.
Its interesting that while you can choose your behaviour, it's not always possible to choose the consequences. Sometimes they are predictable, but often you are left feeling powerless as choices come back to bite you. We seem to advocate for choice very strongly these days, but we're not so eager to accept the accountability that goes with it. I used to tell my kids that its like picking up a stick - you can't have one end without the other. "If only" is such a sad phrase when you hear a friend or loved one regretting an unwise choice.
A busy day with study and grandchildren. That's a good thing. It means I don't have a lot of time to think. I find change challenging, confronting and somewhat uncomfortable. Interestingly, in hindsight I am usually thankful that it occurred but at the time I'm definately a reluctant camper. I tend to be quite passionate about things and life can get intense, so its good to have balance. This semester I'm studying biopsychology and looking at neurological impacts on behaviour. My other subject is psychology's role in criminology. I think I'm going to enjoy myself this term.
How things can change in a few short days! At the start of this month I was thinking about being more frugal, more responsible with my money and had a general overview of life. Then one short phone call changed my perspective for weeks. "I'm leaving, would you be interested in doing my job?" That was it. The call lasted less than 2 minutes and my world went into turmoil for a couple of weeks. Now that the dust has settled, I'm beginning to refocus, but its taken a while, and all because of a 2 minute phone call.