'Do you know what's stopping me from being a writer?''I couldn't possibly guess.''Nothing.''Nothing?''Nothing. Just an invisible wall. Barriers that we put up ourselves. I mean, what's stopping me from writing a book and getting it published?''You complete lack of literary talent?''The process, that's what's stopping me. I think that it will take too long to write a book and, should I ever find the time, the chances are that no-one will want to publish it.''You're probably right.''But I can't be sure until I've tried.''So what's stopping you?''Nothing!'
Two women are diagnosed with motor-neurone disease.One lives in an affluent area in the south-east, the other lives in inner-city London.The one in the south-east is surrounded by rich, caring people, who throw charity events, including a classical concert, in order to raise money for her, and other local sufferers.The one in London has no-one. There is no money spare to be spent on donations.One recieves help and support, the other doesn't. Their lives have been dicated by a postcode.It's not fair. I can't see how it can be changed.
'Right, so, here is the start of my story.''Ok. Let's have a look...hmmm...ah-ha...right...good, good...yes. It's a load of rubbish.''What?''Take the first line. 'I will allow you to name me Isaac.' You're just stealing the first line from Moby Dick and making it worse.''Well, that's not to difficult to change.''Also, nothing happens.''It's not supposed to.''I know, but nothing happens in a very dull way. You need to make nothing happening sound exciting.''How?''I don't know. I'm not a writer.''Any other comments?''Rethink or perish.'
Apparantly, a question Harvard University ask students in an interview is 'Think of 10 things that you can use a kettle for'. I humbly present my answers to this question.1. Let's get it out of the way...to boil water for tea.2. To boil potatoes.3. As a method of fighting off thieves.4. You could use many in conjunction to power your TV by letting the steam move a turbine.5. As a replacement hammer.6. As an aphrodisiac.7. As a piece of modern art.There would be more, but it seems I've run out of...
There she was. She looked good. She looked fine.She was, for the moment, all Joseph's. For how long was a mystery. They weren't the Beatles, They wouldn't last forever, but at least they could enjoy the time that was theirs.That was his theory. Joseph never really discussed it with Mary. He didn't think she would be interested. Executing his plan, he kissed Mary, if not perfectly, then properly. He tried to do this as little as possible. Apparently, if you kissed someone properly, your heart worked so hard that you lost three minutes of you life.
'How would you like to die?''That's morbid for a Saturday.''Well, I was just thinking about death...''As you do.''As I do, and I was wondering what was the best way to die.''As you're asking me, I assume you came to no conclusion?''I'm working on something. I was just wondering if you had anything to offer.''...I would like to die happy.''Hmm.''Hmm?''I thought you'd be, well, more imaginative.''Oh. Well, how about you?''I came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how I die. I'll still be dead, so I won't care.'