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08/01 Direct Link
Good day.

My name is Dr Pampers.

...Yes, just like the nappies.

For many years, I have been traveling the world in search of rare and exotic animals. I have documented these new animals, and now feel that it is time to share my findings with the world.

Everything of mine which you read is true. Absolutely true. If you need proof...well...well...you won't need proof.

Absolutely true.

Nothing made up, all the animals exist. True. Fact. All the animals are an absolute fact.

My work my shock and surprise you. Then again, it might not.

All FACTS.
08/02 Direct Link
What music do you enjoy listening to?

What is your favorite type of food?

Are you an only child?

What are your hopes and dreams?

Who is your hero?
 
What is your favourite book?

What carrier do you want to persue?

How often do you laugh?

How often do you cry?

What do you feel passionate about?

What is your opinion about the conservative-liberal coalition?

Do you dance in public?

Do you sing?

Do you enjoy asking questions?

Do you gaze at the stars?

Who are you?

And, the most important thing of all...

What is your favourite colour?
08/03 Direct Link
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye,

Again
08/04 Direct Link
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, 

...
 
Again
08/05 Direct Link
When I was younger, I made a concious decision to not eat lamb.

I fail to remember the reason why.

Nevertheless, it did not stop my family feeding it to me. All they did was tell me it was beef. I was too young to notice the difference in taste.

It made me think about what my parents would have done if I had said I was a vegetarian.

'Here you go.'

'What's this?'

'A carrot.'

'A carrot? But...why is it dripping blood?'

'...It's a very raw carrot.'

'Oh.'

'Well, enjoy!'

Perhaps I'm being too harsh on my parents...
08/06 Direct Link
'Have you asked her out yet?'

'Of course not.'

'Why? What are you so afraid of?'

'Well, it's written in the book of Revelations that a sign of the apocalypse is me getting a girlfriend.'

'Very funny.'

'No, it's true.'

'...It's really in Revelations?'

'Yup. You see, I'm taking it upon myself to save the world by never asking a girl out.'

'Wow.'

'In fact, the only thing holding back the destruction of mankind is me.'

'...That's quite a responsibility.'

'Well, you know, I cope.'

'...Exactly where in Revelations is it?'

'Everywhere. You just have to look very, very carefully.'
08/07 Direct Link
The scenery was beautiful.

Hills that languished beneath the sun, not shouting out their beauty, simply whispering.

The sky had donned its best newborn blue coat, in which the clouds slided without effort.

Majestic. That was the word. The best word to describe the scenery he walked through.

It was picture perfect. A setting to inspire books about love and the past. It was a place poets would gather to, hoping to achieve some form of inspiration.

All this was lost on him. Rather than take in the view, he was too busy looking down, trying to miss the cowpats.
08/08 Direct Link
I fell in love. For eight whole seconds.

I was walking. As were you.

We were walking across the bridge, each going in opposite directions.

I caught your eye. Or did you catch mine?

For eight whole seconds, I was in love.

You were beautiful. I was infatuated, captured, enraptured by your presence.

Waht was I to do, but fall in love?

For eight seconds.

We will never see each other again.

Not even for eight seconds.

We have parted, and will fail to be pulled togther.

But, I will, or should, always remember.

Those wonderful, blissful, eight whole seconds.
08/09 Direct Link
If there's one term I hate, it's 'no offence'.

I have never understood why people think that, if they use that phrase, they can then offend people as much as they like.

For example:

'No offence, but you look a bit like a child molster.'

'Actually, I do find that quite offensive.'

'...But you can't. I said 'no offence', therefore, you cannot be offended. That's the rule.'

At which point, the offended person in the scenario would either walk away and refuse to talk to that person again, or punch him in the face and do the world a favour.
08/10 Direct Link
Close your eyes.

Go on, close them. It won't be for long, I promise.

The temptation to run away now is unbarable.

Hey! There was no need for that! Anyway, you know I wouldn't.

So go on. Close your eyes.

Closed? Good. Now.

Imagine. Imagine that you are in a perfect world. A place where you feel safe.

No, don't tell me about it. Not yet.

Stay in that place. Have a look around. Explore.

Explore this perfect place. Realise what makes it perfect.

And what is it that makes it perfect?

That's sweet, but really, what makes it perfect?
08/11 Direct Link
It's all change.

Now I'm the one waiting, scrolling for your insignia.

You never realise how much you miss something until it's gone, do you?

Thank's for answering my questions. I enjoyed your answers.

I feel that this is a wasted entry, so I apologise.

I feel stupidly tired, even though I have just come back from holiday. Stupidly, unbearably tired.

I feel I need rest, that's what I need. Rest.

Sean, what;s happened? You were doing so well. I was enjoying reading yoru entries. It was nice to see a familiar...face? Words? Ideas? Something familiar, in any case.
08/12 Direct Link
Do I have to?

Fine. I trust you.

You do that and I'll slap you.

Sure.

Ok. Here we go. My eyes are completely closed.

What? What now?

Ok. Hang on. Wait...wait...wait. Right. I'm there. It's a place called...

Fine. Suit yourself.

Ok. I'm exploring. I'm looking around, getting a hang of the scenery, staring at the sky, feeling the wind move me through the landscape. Now what?

What makes it perfect? Ok.

The fact that you are here with me. In fact, with you, any place is a perfect place.

Really. The fact that you're here.
08/13 Direct Link
'Do you know what today is?'

'No.'

'Friday the 13th.'

'...You don't actually believe in that supersition, do you?'

'No.'

'Good.'

'I know it happens.'

'...Go on.'

'Well, today my Nan died.'

'How?'

'She was killed by a black cat who scratched her to death.'

'My goodness.'

'And then I ran over the cat rushing to help my Nan.'

'Ok.'

'So, I got out of the car to help the cat, at which point, my car exploded due to overheating.'

'Right.'

'The flying metal scraps of the car cut off both my arms.'

'Oh my.'

'I'm surprised you didn't notice.'
08/14 Direct Link
'You know that if I ever get a girlfriend, it'll start the apocalypse...?'

'Yes.'

'And you know that girl I'm in love with...?'

'Intimately.'

'What?'

'...Carry on.'

'Well, she's been making...you know...advances...sort of...'
 
'Advances?'

'Yeh. You know.Yesterday, she asked me to see whether there was anything in her eye.'

'So?'

'Well, that's a, like, classic...advancement...kind of thing.'

'Could she not simply have had an uncomfortable feeling in her eye, and wanted someone to check?'

'Possibly...but, she also gave me a suggestive wink afterwards.'

'Maybe she was just blinking.'

'...Why do you ruin everything?'
08/15 Direct Link
Flubberdijigger is his name. Flubberdijiggering is his game.

He floops wonderfully, splooning and trousting with gumph, unable to do historonics imperfectly.

Yes, Flubberdijigger is the best. All the rinnshers and habadashedishers come to him, asking him to Flubberdijigg. Nobody does it better.

In the grunig mornings he dreels comfunctly to work, jeeping extaticly down the pavement. Once there, his customers daamar and clammar around his broonis desk, qualting and begging for him to do his thing.

Flubberdijigger does do his thing, to the general vamooshment of all.

Is anyone happier? Flaapier? Queitley Convatier?

Nope. Flubberdijigger is the happiest of all.
08/16 Direct Link

She

She is everything to him. He constantly wonders why she is in his life.

He wonders why she has stayed. Why she hasn't taken her straight smile elsewhere. Why she consecrates his house with her footsteps. Why she remains in his dull sphere, when her beauty could take her everywhere.

It's not as if he is even rich.

Nor is he good-looking, intelligent, endowed with a sparkling personality or in any way a person you want to be around.

He marvels constantly. Every day he prays that she is still there. Every day she is.

And he just wonders.

08/17 Direct Link
Sean

May I say, congratulations for keeping up with 100 words.

Thank you. I have really enjoyed reading your 100 words also, every day looking for your insignia, wondering whether you have managed to learn the guitar.

I did thank you. Yourself?

Sorry, it didn't. The talk about coding and the hatred of Explorer helped me determine your true identity.

I have no idea what we are doing about the film thing. I know Isaac has finished his editing. If you have, then we can get togther and watch them, but it needs organising. I'll talk to Isaac soon.

Laters.

-David
08/18 Direct Link
The coalition government in the UK has been in power for 100 days.

Or, to quote my mother, the coalition government in the UK is'a pain in the arse.'

To be honest, there has been no disernable change to daily life. Everything is carrying on as normal. No changes.

Well, there have been changes, but none which actually do anything. Not for me and you. For the country, yes, but for the people, no.

To be fair, it has lasted 93 days longer than any political analysit predicted.

I need to stop being political and go back to writing stories.
08/19 Direct Link
08/16 

He

He is everything to him. She constantly wonders why he is in her life.

She wonders why he has stayed. Why he hasn't taken his straight smile elsewhere. Why he consecrates his house with his footsteps. Why he remains in her dull sphere, when his looks could take him everywhere.

It's not as if she is even rich.

Nor is she good-looking, intelligent, endowed with a sparkling personality or in any way a person you want to be around.

She marvels constantly. Every day she prays that he is still there. Every day he is.

And she just wonders.

08/20 Direct Link

Jack (well, he thought he was Jack) had an identical twin. James.

Jack and James were perfectly similar, to the point that no-one could tell them apart.

They liked the same books, spoke in the same tone of voice, thought the same, even dreamt the same.

Sometimes, they would swap places. It was this that led to the confusion. 

Jack could no longer remember whether he was James or Jack, and James could no longer remember whether he was Jack or James.

In the end, Jack (or James) killed James (or Jack). Now everyone could tell the difference. 

08/21 Direct Link
'This time, she really did make a move on me.'

'Of course.'

'But, I resisted, in order to stop the apocalypse from happening.'

'Well, that's very conciderate of you.'

'Thank you.'

'So, what did she do?'

'Get this. She brushed up against me!'

'She brushed up against you?'

'Yup.'

'When did this happen?'

'We were both walking through the same door. She brushed up against me as she went pass.'

'Could it not simply be that the door was very narrow, and she had to do this to get past?'

'No.'

'You are quite fat...'

'Hey! Shut up! Shut up!'
08/22 Direct Link
...which are never ending. Simply repeating. We will never escape the situations that play in our minds.

Film like reels that smoothly flow through our imagination. The scene of an embarassment, where you made a fool of yourself, the burning, virus-like shame that crawls across your face.

It never stops or relents or halts. Your stupidity played for your eyes only, over and over and over and over, scratched into your conscience.

You can do nothing but watch, as you make the same mistake again and again and again and again.

You submit the the endless circles of thoughs...
08/23 Direct Link
Well, tomorrow is results day.
Everyone will be there. Petrified. But I say...
Lets stop this.
Come, one, stop this.
One letter deciding the fate of your life?
My goodness, that's stupid.
Everything about the whole system is stupid.

But what can we do, I hear you cry?
Answer? The only answer, is to refuse to
Care. Just stop caring about your grades.
Kick the worry in the shins.

Stop caring and start to liberate yourself from the chains of expectation. You are expected to get an A* but you get an A. How cares? You shouldn't.

Free yourself! Free yourself!
08/24 Direct Link
I promise, I do, that I will write something better tomorrow, but I have just had my results through, and I really need to do this.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

...Apart from physics.
08/25 Direct Link
I realise my batches have been lacking in action, so today I present...

IN SEARCH OF WRAPPING PAPER

Someone's birthday: tomorrow

Present: in front of me

Wrapping paper: right here...hang on...wait...wait...

Nope. No idea where it is. Stealthily, I creep into my parent's bedroom. Check behind the wardrobe. Nothing.

With trepidation, I go to the spare room. After hours of searching, nothing is found.

Once again, I return to my parent's bedroom. Look the other side of the wardrobe. There it is! Wrestle with dressing gown which is protecting the paper. Take the wrapping paper.

I win.
08/26 Direct Link
Sorry to be late in replying.

I would like to carry on, if this is ok with you. I rather enjoy our 'conversations'.

Congradulations on your results.

It's raining today. It seems to be always raining. Little sloopy slubs of rain threeding down from the sky, soaking and refreshing.

And wet.

Each raindrop is recycled. Taken back up to the mother in the sky, to travel again, be re-used. Go new places, see new things, gather new experiances. Nothing holds them down.

But, they have no control. no control at all.

Do I want to be a raindrop? Possibly.
08/27 Direct Link

He stood on the edge of the bridge.

He was never going to jump. That wasn't his plan. He rather enjoyed living. It's just that...he wanted to be noticed.

The man wanted someone to care that he might jump. He wanted someone to slowly shuffle up to him, whisper that it wasn't worth it. Someone who would take his hand gently, guide him from the edge like someone guiding a child from a bad dream.

Looking around, he realised that no such person was going to materialise tonight.

Sighing, he climbed down. Who knows? Tomorrow night might be different.

08/28 Direct Link

Get up. Now.

Who do you think you are? Someone special? Don't make me laugh.

Stop. Stop crying. Be a man and stop crying.

You are useless. I said stop crying. You are pathetic. Purposless. Inadequate in every possible way.

Get back up. Be a man. Stop disgracing yourself. If that's possible.

You were born to lose. Born to be stepped on. Opressed. It is your duty to be worthless.

A worm. A maggot. A virus. Detestable, that's you.

Man up and stop crying.

Get back up. Take it like a man. Be a man.

Stop crying.

Stop crying now.

08/29 Direct Link
He reminded him of that Stevie Wonder song. What was it called?

He's misstra know it all. That's the one.

He was never wrong. Which was annoying, because he was always wrong. He had strong opinions that were based on the flimsiest of evidence.

He was a man with a plan. A plan which involved everybody doing as he said. If anything went wrong, well, it was because you hadn't followed his advice properly.

He had concidered killing him. once. But that wouldn't be right. Because he would die thinking he was right.

'So give a hand
to the man'
08/30 Direct Link
The four horsemen of the apocalypse rode in the sin red sky, casting destruction and death over the world.

Nobody had been taken up in the rapture, which was to the surprise of many faithful, but not to the priests.

Fire was everywhere, cleansing the damned world of its iniquity.

People wailed, they cried, they questioned. They pleaded to a God who had left them long ago. The screams scraped across the soul.

But in the background were two figures sitting on a park bench. Kissing. Oblivious, having finally found the happiness that both had been seeking for some time.
08/31 Direct Link
The end is coming.

Not the apocalypse, but the end of the holidays. Which is rather depressing.

So, in order to counter-act this feeling, I am going to write something lovely.

...

Something willl come, I'm sure.

...

What about bunnies? Hang on, already done that.

...

The gentle brush of your hand on mine
Sends electricity up my spine
Stupid static.

Wait! That's not lovely!

I love to see
you in the morning
Whilst you're streaching
Whilst you're yawning

...That's slightly like a stalker. Not good.

Forget it. Sad, depression, hate, anger, depression, lonliness, crying, depression, fury, melancholoy, down-in-the-dumps, depression depression, depression.