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04/01 Direct Link
You enter your house.

You close the door, very deliberately.

It's times like this that you wish you drank alochol. Or smoked. That you just did something on the outside to symbolise how horrible you feel on the inside. 

You walk up to the wall and start to bang your head against it, hoping the pain and pressure and anger will subside. 

It doesn't. It never does.

You get a headache. 

You grab a paracetamol and, for the briefest of seconds, wonder what if...

You snap out of it.

Back to bed.

 

 

04/02 Direct Link
You enter your house.

You close the door, very deliberately.

It's times like this that you wished you had a balcony. A place where you could scream your joy at the clouds, at the strangers underneath you, at absolutly anything.

You sit down.

You stand up.

You start pacing, trying to control the pure energy of happiness that flows though every atom of your body.

You turn on the computer.

You log onto 100 words and start writing. People need to know of your joy. It needs to be recorded, even if just to remind you that it actually happened.
04/03 Direct Link
'...Why did you just do that?'

'Do what?'

'Why did you just pay that busker?'

'It's good luck.'

'Is it?'

'Well...it is for the busker.'

'Do you not feel that they are just beggers with a talent? I mean, all they do is play an instrument. I do that and nobody pays me.'

'But you're not very good.'

'Nonetheless.'

'...If we take your definition that a busker is a begger with a talent, then everybody who works is the same. A doctor is just very good at making people better, an artist just very good with pencils.'

'...Could be.'
04/04 Direct Link
She said no.

How could she say no?

How could she say no to someone who asks to marry you?

You were in love. At least, you thought you were in love.

She said no.

'I'm just not quite ready for that commitment.'

The rest of the meal passed in awkward silence.

You walked her home, gave her a peck on the cheek, turned your back and walked away.

She said no.

What now? What to possibly do now?

Can this be fixed? Will we ever be the same again?

She said no.

She said no.

No...No......No.........No
04/05 Direct Link
She said yes.

How could she not say yes?

How could she not say yes to someone who asks to marry you?

You are in love. Utterly encaptivated by its spell.

She said yes.

'Yes, of course. Of course I'll marry you.'

The rest of the meal passed in seconds

You walked her home, barely able to contain your excitement. You reluctantly leave her with a lingering kiss.

She said yes.

What now? What to possibly do now?

What needs to be organised? Quite frankly, who cares?

She said yes.

She said yes.  

Yes...Yes......Yes.........Yes 
04/06 Direct Link
'You look awful? What's wrong with you?'

'Well, you've heard of psychosis?'

'Kind of.'

'Well, I don't have that.'

'Oh'

'I'm not psychotic. No. Instead, I'm psychodelic.'

'...Psychodelic?'

'Yup. It's like psychosis, except the hallucinations are much more fun.'

'Really?'

'Oh yes. Yesterday, I thought that I was a large red ball bouncing through time and space.'

'It that so?'

'Yes. I also once thought that I was a yellow submarine.'

'A yellow submarine?'

'A yellow submarine.'

'Well well. Are you on medication?'

'...Why would I want to be on medication?'

'To cure it.'

'No. I'm having far too much fun.'
04/07 Direct Link
When I was on the train, a very pretty girl was sitting opposite me. Instinct immediatly kicked in.

Ok, Ok, don't panic...Ok. It's Ok. Right. So. Whatever you do, don't make eye contact. Just look out the window, that's it, look at the lovely scenery. No eye contact. Hey, why not start nervously moving your fingers? That'll make you look more like a strange person, and therefore will give you a reason not to talk to her.          

...

I'm a complete and utter idiot.

The chances are, I'll never see her again.   
04/08 Direct Link
Me Verses the World - Day 1

- I woke up this morning

Me:1 World:0

- I woke up this morning

Me:1 World:1

- I remembered that I had revision

Me:1 World:2

- It's a beautiful, sunny and warm day outside, meaning I have little excuse to stay in bed 

Me:1 World:3

- There is nothing special about today

Me:2 World:3

- I turn on my phone, and nobody has contacted me

Me:3 World:3

- I look at the news

Me:3 World:276

- I stop looking at the news

Me:276 World:276

- I go on 100words

Me:277 World:276
04/09 Direct Link

She stood against the window, light pouring onto her body.

She glowed. Not just from the external sun, but from her very soul. A light in the bleakness.

I tried to stop staring.

I failed.

Whoever wrote that the eyes are the window to the soul was right. Her eyes shone with laughter and contentment. They offered safety without judgement.

To me, she was unable to be compared with anything man-made or natural.

She looked like an angel. She was an angel.

Beautiful beyond mere words. She was a living melody.

I told her so.

She smiled. Beautifully.

04/10 Direct Link
Me verses the World - Day 19

After a close start, the score is now Me:314 World:1,299

Thought about life for quite a while, and came to the conclusion that it's not so bad

Me:1,314 World:1,299

Was tempted to put on the news, but resisted

Me:1,315 World:1,299

I realised that there is a possibility that my Grandmother may be getting married before I do

Me:1,315 World:1,485

I start to think about the future

Me:1,315 World:1,616

I read other people's 100 words

Me: 1,580 World:1,161

...More updates will be available

04/11 Direct Link
You phone your friend

He immediatly understands the situation from the tone of you voice.

He asks if you want him to come over. You say yes.

You sit around, heavy thoughts pushing your body downwards, slumping over like a defeated solider.

He knocks on the door.

You open it.

He gives you a hug and, for the first time in your life, you feel your heart lift slightly. Not enough, but slightly.

He tells you everything will be fine.

You pretend to believe him.

He pretends you believe you.

He puts on some music.

You both sit, just simply listening.
04/12 Direct Link
You phone your friend

He immediatly understands the situation from the tone of you voice.

You both start to laugh uncontrollably. Sheer joy is passed down through the souless telephone.

He leaves to get his girlfriend so you can tell her the news.

You start to walk, sprint, jump, hop, scream around the room, unable to contain your electric energy.

She comes to the phone. You tell her what has happened.

She starts to cry. You start to laugh.

She asks about the details. You try to satisfy her hunger.

She suggests a celebratory meal for just you three.

You agree.
04/13 Direct Link

One day, a zebra decided to split away from the herd.

'I'm fed up of being a conformist.' He thought 'I want to be an individual.'

So he went away, going nowhere and looking for nothing, just glad that he was finally alone.

Suddenly, he saw a lone lion lazily walking towards him.

The first thought of the zebra was 'Oh ****.'

His second thought was also 'Oh ****.' because he was sure he was going to be eaten.

He thought a third 'Oh ****.' Just for good measure.

The lion was now right next to the zebra, and was staring at him.

04/14 Direct Link
'Hello young zebra.' Said the lion.

The zebra did not answer. He was pretending to be a tree, so the lion would not notice him.

'I know you're not a tree.' Said the lion. 'Also, if I wanted to eat you, I already would have done so.'

The zebra thought this was a good point, however, his instincts were telling him that he was not in a Good Situation.

After a while, the lion at down.

At that  point, the zebra stopped being a tree and dashed back to the safety of the heard.

An individual no longer.
04/15 Direct Link
Fun facts about the making of the zebra/lion story

1. Originally, the zebra was going to be a gazelle, but I was not quite sure how 'gazelle' was spelt, so the zebra was given the part.

2. The character of the lion was based on nobody.

3. There is a meaning to it, if you care to look deep enough.

4. It is dedicated to all those who tried to be an individual, and failed

5. As you can probably tell, I made up the plot as I went along.

6. I had no idea where I was going with it.
04/16 Direct Link
'So, you're telling me that you have never been in love?'

'Yes.'

'What, you mean, never?'

'That is correct. You see, as the song goes, it is only fools who fall in love.'

'...And you concider yourself not to be a fool?'

'Absolutely. Do you know how large my IQ is?'

'I honestly couldn't say.'

'It's massive.'

'...That's what she said!'

sigh... 'You're in love, I assume.'

'How did you know?'

'Subtle hints from your language and general demenour.'

'Really?'

'...You're not secretly an American, are you?'

'No. Why?'

'You don't seem to be able to grasp the concept of sarcasm.'
04/17 Direct Link
There is nothing more painful than the silence between old friends who have drifted apart.

You struggle to talk to your once closest companion. You try and remember how you made them laugh, how you enjoyed each other's company, how you managed to create casual and free-flowing conversation.

Now, all is reduced to the occassional nod; the fleeting, vapour-like smiles. The distance emphasised by the closeness you once shared.

Looking at a picture, you watch your frozen facades embrace, arms entwinning one another. Embracing the one who was more than a lover.

Nothing remains apart from worn out memories.
04/18 Direct Link

'Hello.'

'Hi.'

'I haven't seen you in a while.'

'No...no. Well. You know. Life just seemed to get busier.'

'Yes...that's true. Ha.'

'Ha.'

'So. What have you been doing?'

'Well, I'm trying to become a writer.'

'Still?'

'Still.'

'How's that been going?'

'Well, it could have been better. You know. But...I'm still trying.'

'I'm sure you'll do it one day.'

'Thank you. I remeber you saying that to me a few years ago.'

'Hm. Yeah.'

'So what do you do?'

'Well, I work at the university.'

'I thought you wanted to be a musician.'

'Well...things change.'

04/19 Direct Link
It was the first day back at school today.

You expect everything will have changed. The building will have been given a smart make-over, new and overly enthusiastic teachers will have joined, your friends will have grown, aged beyond recognition.

You like to think that you yourself have changed. Your smarter, wiser, funnier. A better person than the one at the start of the holiday.

Reality is so often disapointing. Nothing has changed. Nothing at all. Crushing normality. You easily slip back into routine, unable to break free from the horrors of the film with only one repeated slide.
04/20 Direct Link
She fell in love with his handwriting as soon as she saw it.

The curves were by no means elegant, not all of it was fully joined together and some parts of it were, to be quite frank, utterly illegible.

Nevertheless, the style suggested a layed-back, take-life-as-it-comes-no-worries kind of man. Someone who prefered substance over style, who did not worry about appearances. Someone who was completely at home in their own body. 

Someone who could love.

Giving the essay one final glance, she sighed heavily and reluctantly moved on.  
04/21 Direct Link
In the middle of a forest is a circular clearning.

In the middle of this clearing is an oak tree, attached with all the cliches one would expect. Tall. Majestic. Brown.

It was called the lover's tree, because people can never think of original nicknames.

Lovers go to the tree and carve their names into the trunk. Some write elaborate love poems. Other stick with the tried and tested formula.

Ricky and Emma 4 Eva

Some tasteless people cross out the names of those they have dumped, and replace them with their new desire.

...One day, I might go there.
04/22 Direct Link

If only they could see me now...

Those who said that I was never good enough
Those who laughed behind my back
Thoes who screamed when I put a foot wrong

Now whose face is red?

I made it, despite your bullying, pulling down to earth, snide comments, reality checks, derogatory comments, it's-never-going-to-happen, wake-up-to-reality-use-your-mentality accusations.

I'm still standing, even after all this time.

You were wrong. All of you. Even the experts. Especially the experts.

You hurt me, but I still survived.

So what are you going to do now?
 

04/23 Direct Link
There are some things that I really want to write, but I just can't.

Sometimes it's because I fail to find the right words to express my feelings. Most of the time, it's because I'm far too embarrassed to put to paper what I really want to say.

Or is it because some things, some feelings, are just to precious to write down?

Or is that just a lie I tell myself?

One day, I'll scream what I need to say from the rooftops. Possibly.

To quote Carol Ann Duffy 'You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?'
04/24 Direct Link
'I like summer.'

'Why?'

'Well, seems much more optimisitc than winter. You know. Everything's warmer, bees are buzzing, plants are growing.'

'I suppose so...'

'Let me guess. You hate summer.'

'I don't hate it. I'm just...indifferent.'

'And why's that?'

'Summer is just a time of month. You're still the same person, bad things are still going to happen. Summer does end winter, but winter will soon be along again.'

'...You have a very bleak outlook on life.'

'Well I'm sorry if I don't perscribe to the positive thinking camp.'

'You're a pessimist.'

'I'm a realist.'

'That's what pessimists say.'
04/25 Direct Link
Ah-hem.

Hello. I am a stone.

I would like to take this opportunity to talk to all about something that has been happening for quite some time now.

As a stone, I do not like to feel violated or maltreated. I do not want people picking me up, and trying to do something rather nasty.

Namely, trying to blood out of me.

It matters not how much you poke, prod, prick, slash, dash, scrape, pound, smash me, you will not be able to get blood out of this stone.

I beg you, please stop.

Thank you for your time.
04/26 Direct Link
Sometimes, it aches to see your face.

Just standing there, smiling. So natural, as if the direct daughter of mother earth.

As I watch you, the aching starts in my heart, and stays there. When you leave, it hurts all the more, knowing that I will not be leaving with you.

I wish that I could capture you features. Pull them down onto the page.

Impossible. Quite impossible.

A laugh springs up from your form and I know that this utter agonising ache will never subside.

You are untouchable. A painting behind glass.

And I ache when I see you.

Ache.
04/27 Direct Link

It's the day of the wedding.

Well, it's the day the wedding should have been on.

The happiest day of your life, reduced to sitting alone.

You find it surprisingly easy not to think of anything. Very easy to slip into the other side of nothingness, where not even darkness exists.

Nothing floats though your mind. Even the searing, screaming, soul smashing pain has gone.

You are a husk. A pile of wasted opportunities. Useless, with no hope of redemption.

You wonder where there is a light at the end of the tunnle.

You think that this is very unlikley.

04/28 Direct Link

It's the day of the wedding.
 
The happiest day of your life.

You find yourself unable to control your thoughts. Ideas, assumptions, dreams chase around in your head.

They smash into each other, until they merge into just one thought. Her.

You used to never believe in finding the one. You are glad that you have been proved wrong.

Together, you are the future. A bundle of endless possibilites and infinate futures. The world is yours.

You start to wonder whether life would have been any better had she refused to marry you.

You think that this is very unlikley.

04/29 Direct Link
Of course he can't remember the things that were said.

The taunting and goading and prodding and poking.
Waiting to get that inevitable reaction.
A shout, and a scream.

Then a sob.
 
Wanting to see a grown man cry.
Break down in tears, smash his spirit to nothing.
He wanted to watch as he destroyed the fragile
Soul. To take the glory of being the one
Who managed to turn the thumb screws with an expert precision
elliciting the breakdown of the mind.


How is he supposed to remember what he said?

'I don't know nothin'
with this great hole in me head.'
04/30 Direct Link

Me versus the world - Day 616

At the moment, it is all square on 5000 points each 

I won the lottery 

Me:5200 World:5000 

Because I had won the lottery, everyone keeps asking me for money

Me:5200 World:5300

I am now poorer than before I had won the lottery

Me:5200 World:5500

Was abducted by aliens and probed

Me:5200 World:5700

Sued the aliens and won

Me:5400 World:5700

Aliens attack and enslave human population in retribution

Me:5400 World:1762400

Therefore, the overall conclusion is...

The World Wins.

...To be fair, it was always going to. You can't beat the world.