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I finished my second set of month entries! I guess October doesn't count b/c since I didn't finish the entire month, they disappeared. Sucks. I can't believe it's 2008. I remember thinking back when I started high school in 2000, that I would be graduating from college in the year 2008. Crazy. And then I kept hearing "class of 2008, class of 2008" when I started college. Though I know after Otis, I will continue going to college, either for a credential or a masters. Ugh don't wanna type about that right now. Resolutions! So, I usually try to do a new years resolution, but I usually forget what they were by the ened of the 2nd month. Maybe it'll be pointless but I'll try to make a few anyways: 1. Exercise more...I don't mean joining a gym or doing hardcore body stuff, but at least walking outside more, being more active. Otis takes away most of my freedom though. Since I'll be part-time, I'm hoping for more time in doing non-school related things. 2. Be more patient. Aye, in LA that's hard to do though because everyone else around you isn't patient. 3. Be not such a worrywart. I worry about lots of things, most are probably out of my control. I also worry about my health a bit, well not where I take a bunch of pills or something weird. 4. Learn to knit and be crafty. Enough said.
I've started watching Fraiser, I don't know why but I find some of the humor amusing. I guess since the stuff isn't so physical and stupid, especially since most of the shows now are dumb...or maybe I'm not just no interested in watching them. I don't know why I usually don't start watching a show until it's been finished and now reruns. Well I watched Home Improvement when it was on regular TV, same with Everybody Loves Raymond, and Whose Line is it Anyway. Same with the Drew Carey Show, but the humor got stupid near the end of the final season. I also got sick of Everybody Loves Raymond, so I stopped watching it. I also watched Boston Public, back when it was on regular TV, but it was near the end of it's showing, since they cancelled it. I really liked that show and I wish I could find it on DVD or something.
I am not the perfect daughter. But I sometimes feel stressed and annoyed when spending time with my dad. He hardly knows how to keep a conversation with me, if he really does, he doesn't show it. I usually end up talking, but then feel pointless b/c I'm the only one talking. He appears to be more "trendy" than me, though I assume it's supposed to be the other way around. He has a young girlfriend, maybe she's 30? I can't tell. She's Philipino, so I'm no good with discerning ages. He's a doctor, but he doesn't seem passionate about being that. He just likes to make money and be rich it seems, he bought a house with his girlfriend, so now they have a huge house with 5 bedrooms. Are they going to have kids? If so, it'll be weird. I won't be a good step-sister b/c I won't want to be their step-sister. Aye, I have alot of crap to deal with which I don't want to.
It's raining to high heaven, as I assume Andrea would say. I have to drive back to LA tomorrow with Louis, even if this storm is still happening. It's supposed to rain in LA tomorrow too, so it'll all be a surprise. I don't want to go to LA. I'll be stressed again, I'll end up biting the inside of my cheeks again (a very bad habit, yes) b/c I'll be so stressed with driving, I'l get headaches...probably from something in the apartment. I'll have to listen to the traffic again, motorcycles, stupid people being loud in the elevator, I'll be scared again at nite b/c I believe someone will creep into my room thru my patio door. Or I'll be afraid that someone will break into my car. Or I'll get into a crash. Or that I have to start looking at teaching programs. Well maybe not the last part, I hope there is something for me out there.
Drove back today to LA. I miss being home, even though it's cold inside the apartment and rainy outside. I miss hearing the train, birds, squirrels, trees. I miss my mom and sitting on the couch with her, watching MASH. I miss seeing my mom when she comes home from work, I miss driving around Palo Alto, seeing everything familiar. i miss being home. I didn't use to have this much homesickness, but for some reason, it's gotten worse. I don't know why. I used to love going away on vacations and stuff, but I guess it's b/c I don't know when I'll return to the Bay Area. Or maybe I realize that I should've gone to college somewhere in San Francisco. I miss the people, the friendless, the traffic, the air, the deep blue sky, the animals, the environment, the hills and dead grass. I miss it all. I hope I can return to live there one day.
Since I'll only have class 4 days a week now, that's still only 3 classes altogether luckily, I'm going to try to make an effort to go walking everyday, or at least on the days that I have big chunks of freetime. I don't go to the gym, though I should. I like to walk around the neighborhood near me, I get to look at things, breathe the (smoggy) LA air, see birds, cats and dogs, see little kids playing. I wish there was a better park nearby, the one near me has too many homeless or ghetto people hanging around there. It's not very friendly. But I like walking around outside b/c it reminds me of when I'd walk my dog. I still miss her. Whenever I go home, I pat her urn where her ashes are. I also quietly say, "Hi Gilda." Yea it's pathetic...but I never got to properly say goodbye to her. Why the heck am I getting sappy about this? I was supposed to be discussing walking.
When I was in high school, I got addicted to Neopets. It's kind of like Tamagotchis, but it's all on a website. You can take care of 4 pets, name them, play games with them, earn money for food or whatever. Yea it was childish back then. I still kept my account going until the 2nd semester of college b/c I was just too busy to waste my time playing pointless games...though I guess you could call my video games as pointless games. I liked Neopets, but then all these other websites just like it came out, such as pokemon crater, or whatever that was. They basically copied the forumla, and so it wasn't special anymore. I think my friend who introduced me to it kept playing w/Neopets a few years after I stopped. I think she finally grew out of it.
Today is my mom's birthday! She's 57 now, it took a while for me to figure that out, but she doesn't appear that old and though she's not perhaps physically fit, she is still active. She works as a nurse at the local VA hospital, so you do have to be on your feet quite a lot. As I got older, I appreicate my mommie more and more, and I often miss her more and more. I've always had a good relationship with her, we hardly fought when I was a teenager, she'd take me shopping, out to eat, I'd let her buy me clothes. I've always thought that she's pretty good at picking out clothes for me...she always seems to know what'll fit and what won't. Yea sometimes she'd annoy me with her constant perkiness, but other times, I wish I inherited that perkiness and optimism. Maybe I have and I just don't know it yet.
I like exploring new malls, even if they have mostly the same stores you find everywhere else. I guess that's good since I'm in LA...I'm not a big fan of shopping per se, but I like trying on clothes to see what fits, what something would like look...Which is sad to admit b/c I'd rather do that than work on my own artwork on my own spare time. Well I'm on vacation still right now...and so once school starts, I won't have the time to travel to far distant malls. Even though I'll still do that on a weekend or so...I though sometimes wish I could find a nice "downtown" area of LA or whatever's near me, like a street that just has random but good stores, where there are trees and ample parking. Where there are cafes and sit-down restaurants. Hmmm, I guess I want something like University Ave in Palo Alto. I bet that won't happen for a while.
AirBorne tastes nasty. I've tried every flavor and the most tolerable seems to be the grapefruit. I also tried their "Power Pixies", which is a powdered form of AirBorne but it's for kids, so that means there's only half of the normal adult dosage of Vitamin C and etc. I don't know if it actually can prevent a cold, but it does give a big dosage of Vit C, which has sometimes helped my cold go away faster. I've tried EmergenC but you have to buy a big box of it, you mix the powder in water, and that tastes nasty too. I got sick of the flavor too, so I just threw out of the box, even though I think I had 15 packets left. I don't know if it did anything, but it's supposed to give energy. I've only tried energy drinks once, I don't remember the title of the drink, but it was lemon-lime, made by the people who make that strawberries and cream soda flavor in the can.
Dang, putting stuff into these entries can be hard because I run out of things to say. Well, what I did today was drive all the way to La Brea to go to the Brea Mall. I don't know why, but I was curious, so I walked around the entire mall. It's pretty big, it has 4 anchor stores all within the area. I bought body spray and minty lip gloss from Bath&Body Works. They were having a sale, and I had meant to buy that lip gloss when it was on sale. It makes your lips taste minty and feel like you just brushed your teeth. Since my hair is short right now, maybe it won't get stuck on my lips. I hate when that happens because if it happens when you're walking, you feel stupid while trying to slyly move your hair away from your lips, but you also know that now there's some gob on a bit of your hair, all stuck together.
I hate it when you wake up in the morning and your head hurts, not quite a headache, but you feel like you were banging your head around the bed all night long. Well I felt like that this morning. I also don't like it when it's so bright outside and the sun shines in. I usually hang a big towel over my patio door, since that's where the sun comes in every morning, but I use duct tape, which means after a while, gravity pulls the towel down and I have to retape it all over again. Yea I should just get curtains, but I live in an apartment and since I don't plan on living in this apartment forever, I don't want to spend all this money just to change little things. Our lease ends in July, so we only have 7 more months. Gosh that still seems like a long time, but it really isn't. I'll be glad to move out of this apartment.
I like sticky notes because I always have an idea or something that I need to write down, but there's usually never any small pieces of paper lying around. Yea you can have a notepad, but I always missplace those, or the piece of paper is too big and so if you rip out the note, you'll end up with this awkward small piece of paper. No I usually don't think about this stuff, but I'm attempting to fill up this entire text box. I don't even know if I actually type 100 words. I haven't been typing an entry everyday, I end up getting behind about 4 days and then have to make it up. But, hah, when you reread the entries afterwards, you have no idea if I actually wrote that entry on that particular day or not. I like that mystery, I wish I knew how to use that to my advantage. Hm....blah.
When I saw that the server for this website wasn't working this morning, I freaked out. I thought, "oh no...now I won't be able to use these entries for my project." Even though I don't know what type of project they'll be used for, hah. But if I lost these entries...uh, well it won't be the end of the world but I'll be majorly bummed. I don't usually use the word "majorly" so I guess this is a special case. I'm still thinking of putting these entries on toilet paper, probably because TP is fragile is flushed down the drain, smashed into bits mixed with shit and water. Well these entries sit on the internet, but then they'll get flushed down the...drain? Well, sitting here on the internet not doing anything, but the entries will be smashed into bits, into other entries and other megapixels and bytes. Bits and bytes.
You are the people princess, able to identify with all those around you. You are brave, independent and harbor no ill will towards any human beings or inanimate objects. Your level of compassion for others allows you to see beyond their physical exterior to the inner beauty within. Your true love, albeit hunky, will only reveal himself in due time. You're Belle! (That text was from a test I took on which Disney princess am I most like. I think Belle is my favorite princess because she's not really a princess anyways, plus she (usually) works with her brain. I used to like Ariel....the little mermaid, but that was only because it was the first Disney movie I had seen. But I think it's hard to wish to be a mermaid princess since there are no mermaids realy, plus she married a prince...so it really worked out for her.)
This has basically become a blog because I have to write in it everyday. Normal blogs don't force you to write everyday, they don't even send reminders to tell you that they still exist. I know a few of my old blogs and websites still exist, but I stopped using them because I was too busy, or the site got too old to update all the time. It is a waste of time if you know that no one is looking at it, or it's just robots that write in your guestbook. That's been happening to me, I have robots writing in my guestbook for my old website because I still get e-mails about it. It's just spam or advertisements with links to viruses or weird websites. I don't know why I wanted to make a website in the first place. I should make one now for my artwork though, but I'll have to pay for a domain...and I don't think I'm ready to commit to one.
Today was Family Day for my brother's Marine graduation. Yea, my family was anxious to finally see him all fit and stuff. I know my mom was afraid that he'd change a lot, but he's still Elliot. I know that he just has to act differently when he's on base. He even has to say "gentlemen" to officers...well, us civilians don't usually greet people that much, especially if you're in LA. My mom was crying soo much when she first saw him. But she's the mom, so she's allowed to do that. Everyone I know makes a face...like of terror, or scaredness or something, when I mention that my brother is becoming a Marine. Or they ask about the Iraq war or something, which seems almost rude now because it's such a sensitive topic for everyone, regardless if you support it or not. I don't really like to focus on politics...there are too many viewpoints to worry about.
My brother is finally a Marine. Regardless whether you support the war or not, since we're in a war, obviously that's in everyone's mind now...my brother stuck thru those long 13 weeks of hard training and survived. I know that most people at my school wouldn't be able to go thru it, they'd be crying when the drill instructors are yelling in their faces. Being a Marine, or any military group, makes them all family and they stick together. When we went to Cocos on the way to LAX, an old man...I think I saw him, saw my brother come into the restaurant in his uniform (he had to change into his normal clothes), and this old man bought our lunch for us. He wanted to stay anonymous but he did this for good luck for my brother. I read on another website that some people just know when they see a Marine...it's probably the haircut.
I don't put titles on these entries because I don't think they're necessary. They're so random anyways, and if I put a title, then it suggests there's a theme or something to the entry, and then I'll be forced to stay within that theme. But I don't want the title to just say, "Random" either. Titles can be important and they get the attention of your reader. If you have a sucky title, then that shows you really don't care what you'll be writing about...not that my titles are anything special, sometimes I honestly can't think of anything, so I make a really generic title.
So my brother is a Marine. No, I don't know if they'll send him to Iraq. I don't think we'd want to talk about that anyways. He has to get glasses, so maybe they won't send him b/c he has bad eyesight. But I find it kind of rude when people ask that, I don't know why, but it feels like they want to know if he supports the war or something. I have no idea if he does, but just because you're a Marine, doesn't mean you have to support the war...maybe, I don't know. But my brother said there are both Republicans and Democracts in the Marines. I think everyone has their own reason for joining.
I hope this website doesn't shut down because I'll lose all my entries and feel sad. I really will. I'll be disappointed and blame myself for putting faith into this website, relying on it for a project. But even though there's so many websites on the web, nothing is really permanent. Someone could wipe the entire web clean and start over, but I think that'd be hard because there are so many mysterious websites sitting out there in cyberspace. I like that word, cyberspace. I don't really hear people use it anymore, they just say the web or the net, or the internet.
Getting behind as usual, it's actually the 29th today even though this is an entry for the 22nd. I'm lazy I think. Well I think I'm running out of things to write about even though that's not true. I could always find my "writer's block" and use that as a starter for what to write about. But I don't know if I want to plan it...but it'd be a good exercise since I like to write. Sometimes I honestly don't like to write, well I haven't had enough chances to do creative writing, b/c I'd need someone to help me thru it, tell me how it's going and etc. It's hard to do that stuff when there's no criticism. I once wrote a story in the 2nd person perspective...so everything was "you do this, etc". Except I lost part of the story when my old laptop crashed. Argh. I know. I was so disappointed...I could always get back to writing it, I still have the last print out.
Basically, a hot medium excludes and a cool medium includes; hot media are low in participation, or completion, by the audience and cool media are high in participation. A hot medium is one that extends a single sense with high definition. High definition means a complete filling in of data by the medium without intense audience participation. A photograph, for example, is high definition or hot; whereas a cartoon is low definition or cool, because the rough outline drawing provides very little visual data and requires the viewer to fill in or complete the image himself. The telephone, which gives the ear relatively little data, is thus cool, as is speech; both demand considerable filling in by the listener. On the other hand, radio is a hot medium because it sharply and intensely provides great amounts of high-definition auditory information that leaves little or nothing to be filled in by the audience. A lecture, by the same token, is hot, but a seminar is cool; a book is hot, but a conversation or bull session is cool.
This website should monitor if you actually type 100 words or not. Like sometimes like certain websites have a counter thing so when you type, the amount of spaces available for you to type decrease. So then you'd know when you've written 100 words. I know that's not the point of this site though. It's just to get you to write everyday and not be able to edit those entries. You can edit entries from old blogs, even delete entries, which I've done...haha. Well it was a new year, that was my excuse. Even though no one was reading it, well only one person, my roommate, but I guess that doesn't count. That sounds mean, like I'm not counting her or something. Okay fine that counts, but she saw it and that was it. It's not like other people were coming to see it, or telling their friends. Yes, I want to be popular on the web.
Hmmm...what to write about....I need to fill these entries up or else I won't be able to finish and publish the entire batch, I'll lose all these entries, even though I've become pointless. I think this is a sign that I should save them all and use them for a project soon. I still don't know what exactly. I could just make a book and write them in. Would that be bad but simple to do? Would people read it? I don't know...I could call it 100 Words, like the website. Would that be a copyright offense? Could I get in trouble? I don't know...I don't think this website is that advanced, though I know it eventually will be, it's already a little bit like myspace, except you can't subscribe to people's entries. Everything's becoming like myspace though, it's kind of annoying b/c everyone will be on everything...everything will be available.
I don't think I've ever had a near-death experience. I guess if you count driving on the LA freeways, driving on the I-5 Grapevine, or flying count as near-death experiences. But I don't think I ever had a point where I thought I was going to die...I've had little thoughts, but when I began to think that, I tried to stop myself or I'd get anxious and panicky. I don't know if anyone I know has had a near-death experience. If they have, they haven't told me. Geez I'm uninteresting. I thought I was interesting...maybe I'm just ego-tistical. I like that word: egotistical. Sounds like a medical word for something that should be taken out. Hey, it probably is something that should be taken out! I first heard that word back in middle school I think, on some TV show. Sad, we hear everything on TV...at least it's not a bad word.
I'm scared of being homeless...it's dangerous, especially if you're a woman. The weather wouldn't help, and plus you'd have to beg from people but you'd know that no one would give you money b/c they've already seen 5 other homeless people. Back in Palo Alto, we have a downtown street, and I swear, if I gave a dollar to every homeless person I see who either asks for money or has a sign, I'd probably be out 15 dollars. I had a teacher who would give food to them instead of money, which I guess is a better thing to do b/c if you give money to them, they'll spend it on booze or drugs. Plus a dollar won't get you very far if you're already on the street. She told us one time she gave a homeless guy a baguette, but he said "Thanks but I can't eat it, I have no teeth." So she gave him a loaf of soft white bread instead.
I shall entertain you w/quotes from my trip to China back in 2002: "He [the Emperor] certainly had lots of concubines."-P "You mean the emperor had thousands of sluts." -Mr. C "I didn't see that one coming."- C "Can you give me some techniques?"- Mr. C from the back of the bus when he was inquiring on how they teach sex ed in China "At least she [Ms. B] climbed the wall, unlike some people." -Mr. C to Kr the morning after climbing the Great Wall "Strawberry rave in room 607."- Mr. C to group after having dinner "I like aggressive women." -Mr. C when he thought no one heard him "Hey look, its the Great Wall of China." -P when he was pointing out the long row of bicyclists waiting for our bus to pass "You can provide us with the entertainment Phillip. Go in the corner, jump up and down and pretend to hit the drums." -C to P after realizing the conversation at dinner was getting dull "Sure, let me go find my gold tights and meet me in room 608 in about an hour." -C to Ms. T after Ms. T asked her if she was going to do the stuff like the cortortionist did "Whats with the tomato on the stick?"- Kr pointing out the giant TV tower in Shanghai
A blog entry from high school: I have two group projects going on for two different classes. And both of them, someone was missing. Ah! I got into a fight with Kevin Hsu who is in my group for the English project, he was being so damn stubborn!! We have to act out a piece of dialogue right? Well, he wanted to do two short scenes, while I wanted to do one long scene (make one of the scenes longer and thus being able to include everyone in the group...there are 5 people). I asked the teacher on what he thought, and he said to make it as simple as possible. Well, doing one long scene is more simple than doing two short scenes with less people involved. And plus I know when we'd present, the audience would ask us "Why do two short scenes?" And his reasons are not even good enough to explain why. Ugh...but on the plus side, the teacher brought donuts and milk. Good thing we don't present till Mon April 21st... One thing to add, he eats funny....he grabs things, hovers over people. When I mean "eating funny"...he had put a seasme chip thing into his mouth, took a bite and spit the other half out...when he did that, our whole group burst out laughing cause it was so random. And he eats with his mouth open...chomp chomp chomp And in my Spanish class, we have to present a soap opera...he he, I'm a loving hairdresser...someone in the group is playing a violent monk. Yes, a violent monk. One person wasn't there, and he was going to make the other half of the script (due to disagree meants...) and someone already made the other half. But we present on Friday!! I only have two days to memorize this crap...
My fear for the senior show will that no one will want to look at my books, no one will touch them, they'll just look at them with a frown and stay silent. So either that means I have to be proactive in getting people to look at them, or make the enviornment more inviting for people to enter. I hope I will be able to create what I envision, and I'm afraid it won't happen the way I want to. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get enough space or etc. I guess I won't know though until after we turn our final proposals in. It's gonna be a little scary, but I'll do whatever it takes to create some sort of space for people to physical enter and encounter my books. If other people can contribute their works, that would be fantastic. I don't want it to become entirely my area, but I don't want other people to take over either. Argh. That wasn't my 100th word.
Yay, I've finally finished a 3rd batch of entries, though October doesn't count b/c it didn't count b/c I didn't finish the first few entries from the past...since I began this project in the middle of the first week of October. I still don't know if I'll even use this for a project, but I will eventually. Until then, I'll just keep typing entries, even if they're about useless things that no one even wants to read about. At least I'm typing somewhat coherrently. Since I don't get cable, I've gotten interested in watching reruns of old shows, such at the Golden Girls and Fraiser. Maybe it's just b/c I can finally understand the humor now, I know I've gotten out of my need for physical comedy...Whose Line is it Anyway had lots of that, but I liked the British episodes better b/c British humor relies on dialogue so much. I didn't really like the singing though.
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