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I love November! This is my second favorite month after April. I know, I know. Why do I like April? It's kinda drippy and dreary, and if you live up north, there is still a chance of snow. April does give you hope for spring, and I suppose I like November because it gives you hope for winter. Yes, it's drippy and dreary, but you can cuddle with a nice warm blanket or furry animal.
I had a weird dream in which I was sneaking under an electric fence around a tobacco field. Really didn't want to get zapped.
If you got lost while writing for NaNoWriMo, you could always throw in random words. Maybe your character suddenly gets brain damaged and starts saying stuff that doesn't make any sense. I don't like going totally off the rails with a story, though. Doing that makes it much harder to get back into the story, so I try to keep to a plot. I tried to write by the seat of my pants one time, but it didn't work out for me. The story got derailed and I eventually lost interest because I could not get it back on track.
I wonder if I could type with my eyes closed all the time. I guess it's the sam eas not looking at hey keyboard, except I don't know how much or what my wod count is and I'm not sure how to backspacke because if I do, I might go over words I wante to keep. I noticed that I am backspacking obecause I uspsected I make a mistake.
I typed all that with my eyes closed, and it's a mess. Like I probably said before, I type 90 words per minute, but I make tons of mistakes.
Gonna type this before my eyes get too tired. It's warm outside, and I almost wish it'd get cool again.
There is something about library books that gives you an incentive to finish them, probably because they have a date that they are due back. My library lets you renew books three times, so you can have them out for a total of about 2 months at a time, I think. You'd think that'd be long enough, but not for people who read slowly, and I read more slowly than I used to. It's better to savor your books.
I wonder if dog food is really made from dead dogs. I guess it makes sense that it is. Dead dogs, animals that were sick or unfit for human consumption, expired meat (with the plastic and styrofoam also), and other crap all thrown into a big machine to be made into dog food. It's disgusting. I hate this wasteful society that we live in. We breed dogs and cats we can't adopt. We grow food we can't eat and children in Africa and elsewhere are starving. It makes me sick to my stomach. I hate this world sometimes. It's disgusting.
I was listening to retired people talk yesterday and they said that when their parents died, they realized their own mortality. I suppose that's true. In a way, your parents seem somewhat immortal until they come down with a bad illness or cancer or something like that.
One of my grandbosses is very sick with cancer. I saw him a few days ago, and he looked completely different. He is being very strong about the situation, but it still bothered me because his physical strength was sapped away, even though his mental/spiritual strength was still there. He's a fighter.
Had another dream about my ex. He likes to sneak into my subconscious mind. Fortunately the dreams don't make me miss him at all. They're just bad dreams where I feel sorry for him and we get back together, but he's just the same as he always was and I always have this creepy feeling in my stomach, like I made a mistake. Then I wake up and I'm glad that the mistake wasn't actually made in real life. I tend to take people at face value, so I'm no good at relationships. I can't see into people's souls.
I'm probably the most boring person in the known universe, probably because I keep all my stuff in my head rather than showing it to society. I realized that I could do interesting stuff. I have the time and the money for it, but I don't have the incentive. I could spend five hundred bucks on clothes every week to change the way I look and make myself more attractive. But there's no point when you have no one to dress up for. My self-esteem is at an all-time low and it's my stupid fault. Hate self-pity.
Not all of my posts are from my point of view. But it doesn't matter because I put on a different face for everyone. That is probably my greatest character flaw. I tend to pretend too much, but I have no idea what the pretense is and what the reality is. So when two people I act completely different around show up, my brain short circuits and cannot function. It's like a computer giving you the blue screen of death. So I have to reboot myself and start all over again. Did I mention I'm just a little bit mad?
Blah, I don't like Internet forums that much (or is the plural of forums "fora"?). Too many arguments can easily devolve into madness. People on forums tend to be know-it-alls. There have been only a few forums that I have enjoyed posting on over the years, but even then, I don't post that much. It is more fun to sit back and watch the drama as it unfolds. They are also a good way to waste time when you have nothing better to do (but isn't there always something better to do on the Internet?).
Traffic is always lighter on Veterans Day, which is nice. I read somewhere that the best way you can honor the veterans is to protest and tell the White House to fix the Veterans Health Administration or whatever it is that supposedly helps our vets. It's not fair that they are dying because the government or whoever it is denies them medical care. Our country treats the vets like crap. It treats its animals and children like crap. It is completely capitalistic with no soul or any regard for anything other than money. Sometimes I can't stand this nihilistic world.
School-to-prison pipeline? Does such a thing really exist? Honestly, all of this stuff starts with the family. Families need to be whole. This all starts with sex because sex is what creates more humans (until human cloning becomes sanctioned in our brainwashed society). I said it a million times and I'll say it a million and one: sex is a great power to be used responsibly! Only have sex with people you care about. Only have sex with the person you marry. Only have sex when you are a the position to have a baby because nothing other than abstinence is 100% foolproof!
I'm reading a book about the dangers of porn. It's everywhere. It's one of the most popular searches on the Internet. You can find every kind of porn, from the most blase to the most disgusting and debasing. It ruins people. It splits apart families and destroys the innocence of children. It's a disgusting habit to fall into and a difficult one to climb out of. I suspect that many guys I knew in the past have used porn, based on how they talked and what they said they wanted in a woman or a girlfriend. It is really sad.
Supposedly ISIS is behind the attack on Paris. I thought that might be the case. ISIS or al-Qaeda or one of those evil organizations. I don't understand why we don't just attack them? I get the need for diplomacy, but if this is what happens when we turn our heads, then we can't turn our heads for much longer. We have to tackle the problem. We need to show them that they can shit on us and our friends that way. There isn't much else I can say about this other than that I'm praying for the victims and their families.
I'm reading a book by Michael Savage and getting really pissed off. I think that in some ways, work is the opiate of the people. You get bogged down in your daily routine and obsessed with the minutiae of getting your work done right that you don't think critically or have time or incentive to think about the things going on in the world. That is why we vote lazily and end up with bad leadership. We do not think, and we have nobody to tell us the truth about the people we are voting for (both Democrats and Republicans).
For my week off work, I'm staying away from the Internet, and it's working out well so far. I mean, I'm going on for a little while every day to check email so it doesn't pile up, write my 100 words, post my blog and comment on other blogs, and of course, update my NaNoWriMo word count. Otherwise, the Internet is a crazy place full of a variety of humans who mostly like to rant and rave anonymously. I almost wrote "anonymousey," which strikes me as the way a mouse would behave while on the Internet. Too much caffeine today.
I had a marathon writing session today and finally wrote a scene I had planned out since the summer. So that felt nice. Also found out my cat has a thyroid problem, though, so that means she'll be on an expensive diet. Luckily we caught it early enough so that it's not severe yet. I just hope she transitions to the diet well.
I am reading Peter Beagle's The Last Unicorn, which is bringing me back into the realm of fantasy. I love that genre, and I miss reading it. Bring back my dragons and my unicorns and my dwarves!
Agh. I got sick on my week off. I think it's just a cold, but I felt a small fever coming on, so I took a pill and I think I'm OK now. Scratchy throat and runny nose but OK otherwise. Now I just feel like sleeping.
Here I go writing about what I did today. I wish I could write about love again, but I haven't been in love for a long time. I can't even write about the memory of love anymore. That sounds dark and terrible and emo, but I don't care. Perhaps I should write about memories.
Time for a rant:
STD rates are on the rise. Well, no friggin' wonder. This society treats sex like it's the be-all and end-all of life as we know it. If you are a virgin, you are a loser. If you sleep with whoever you want, you're a player (if you're a man). If you sleep with whoever you want, you're liberated (if you're a woman).
Practice safe sex. That's the admonition. How about this for an idea: Sex in moderation. Everything. In. Moderation. It might just require discipline, which is a scary thing for some of the morons on this planet.
I don't know why they say that dubstep is such a horrible genre of music. It's like trance but a little bit "harder" and with weirder noises and more distorted vocals.
Now to write about love. It takes a LONG time for me to get over someone. I think I'm over them, then all of a sudden I have a dream about them, and I'm sucked into thinking about them and getting sad all over again. Fortunately that sadness lasts only about 24 hours before it's over. I just wish it didn't have to happen. Subconscious likes holding on.
Boy, was I in a bad mood yesterday and the day before. I attribute it to a severe drop in hormone levels.
I had a dream I was yelling at my ex. I was yelling something like "why do you always pick the quiet ones when you can't handle them?" It was so weird. Then I jumped out a window. I literally have no clue what my subconscious was thinking.
Then I had a dream about an alternate me. The well-fed-looking me. The attractive me with a lovely boyfriend and who didn't care about anything else.
News sites make me sick. Liberal garbage all over the place. The sad thing is that it's only going to get worse as the presidential election drama heats up. I got a bunch of Ben Carson stickers and postcards in the mail, but I don't think I'm going to do anything with them besides put them in my 2015 folder for memory's sake. I really like Carson as a person based on what I know about him, but I'm unsure that he would make a good president. Same with Trump. I admire his audacity, but would he make a good president? Doubtful.
My NaNo story is finally picking up steam. I don't think I'm going to finish it by the end of the month, but I will have reached my word count (knock on wood). That will give me two incomplete stories to try and get done one day, this one and the one I wrote for Camp NaNo in April. Doesn't feel like it was that long ago when I wrote it. I am dying for the holidays to arrive. I guess I'm in a mood where I need some warm family time and fellowship and a break from work.
I found the perfect song to be in the soundtrack for my NaNoWriMo novel. It's a song I've known forever, but I listened to it today, and all of a sudden the lyrics fit. So that made me irrationally happy. I think I have about seven or eight songs on the soundtrack now, so if I can get maybe seven or eight more, I'll have a full "album." I like to do that with every story I write. Somehow the songs make it more real to me, like the characters can come to life and create their own music videos.
People are in such a rush driving home on the day before a holiday or a Friday (AKA the day before the weekend). I never understood that. They don't have to be anywhere. It is the weekend. It is relaxation time. I don't see why people need to hurry. Unless they're going to a restaurant and rushing to get there before it gets packed. Or rushing to pick the kids up from school or after-school activities. Either way, folks, stop rushing! Life is too short, and time already goes by way too fast. Slow down and prevent many an accident.
Thanksgiving again. It really feels like it was summer two weeks ago. I don't know what makes life go by so fast. Ever since I got my first full-time job, life has just sped along. There is no time to do anything. If I sit down for two minutes, it turns into two hours. If I wish for a boring event to go by more quickly, my wish is instantly granted. But if I tell life to slow down, it does not. It seems to go even faster. Someday I will stand at the end of my life and wonder what I accomplished.
Last night, I dreamed about time travel. I was thinking I could get a really good story idea out of it, but NaNoWriMo is almost over. I can probably still do something with it, even though time travel is done to death. I was thinking about The Time Traveler's Wife and hoping that my dream wasn't based on that. I haven't thought about that book in a couple years. But I remembered almost every detail of my dream and wrote it all down in my notebook. You never know. It could make its way into a story at some point.
I hate when there are shootings at Planned Parenthood, especially by those who are supposedly pro-life. Don't get me wrong--I don't like Planned Parenthood myself and am pro-life, but it doesn't help the pro-life cause to murder people. There are more civilized ways to get your point across than to murder those who disagree with you. I'm willing to bet the shooter has some kind of mental problem or will be labeled "not guilty by reason of insanity" by a jury if he hasn't killed himself... I need to look back at the news story.
WordPress is doing a strange thing where it deletes subscribers' email addresses from my list of people who have subscribed by email. I know for a fact that these people still receive my blog posts via email, but strangely enough, they no longer show up in the list. I can't say why. WordPress doesn't seem to realize this problem exists. It's not a big enough issue for me to file a complaint; it's just a minor annoyance. Yet I have spam email addresses in that list that have been there forever. All these first-world problems need to give me a break.
It's the end of November, and I'm tired. Finished two stories this month, and I'm trying to plan the next one. There are still major issues to work out in my stories, but I'll get there someday. The human mind is so powerful that it can get itself into all kinds of predicaments and shenanigans. (I was going to write "it can get itself into all kinds of parabolas and parallelograms.)
One of these days I will go to a NaNoWriMo write-in. I am way too much of an introvert for these things, but one day I will!
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