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BY M

07/01 Direct Link
I don't have much to say except that the controversy between liberals and conservatives is only going to get worse as the 2016 election gets closer. I don't think I can overestimate the amount of hate I am going to get from people for believing in what I believe. They tell you to keep quiet, but why should I be worried about what people think of me? You can love or like someone without adhering to every single thing they believe in or even approving of it. A sign on one of the neighborhood churches said something to that effect.
07/02 Direct Link
Sometimes I hate LinkedIn. I don't want to look at anyone's profile because it will tell them that I viewed their profile, and they will think that I'm some kind of stalker. I mean... viewing someone's profile once is curiosity, but I think viewing it more times than that is stalking or at least having an unhealthy obsession that includes behaviors up to and including stalking (but not real-life stalking; that's a category all on its own). 

I started watching a new anime on Netflix last night and I think I'll keep going with it. It's good so far.
07/03 Direct Link
It's a three-day weekend, so I'm going shopping, which is something I try to avoid doing during normal weekends. Needless to say I don't go shopping that often, unless it's for absolute necessities. But today is going to be a "fun" shopping day, as much as shopping for clothes and shoes can be fun. I've probably said this on here before, but I really hate clothes and shoes shopping. You see stuff that looks so cute and fits nice, but the fabric is all wrong and you'll constantly be lint-rolling all the cat hair off it. Cat lady problems.
07/04 Direct Link
I finally saw "God's Not Dead" yesterday and I found it to be OK. The acting was awful, and I felt as though they unfairly portrayed atheists/non-Christians. But the movie served its purpose, so I suppose that was the best thing about it. I just wish that Christian movies were better able to convince the non-Christians, as that should be their primary purpose. I also wish that atheists/non-Christians were given more accurate representations instead of mean, rude, and outright nasty stereotypes. Not all atheists are mean, just as not all Christians are "holy" and nice.
07/05 Direct Link
I'm going to try and moderate my posts on Tumblr to one per day. I don't follow blogs that post stuff constantly because it clutters up my feed. I said this before on here, but I can only handle about 35 people to follow/read their updates. I will literally unfollow someone if they post too much, but I will also unfollow someone if they have not posted for a long time without an explanation or when they will return. It's easier to follow people who post once or twice a day than to follow the ones who post 20 or more. 
07/06 Direct Link
I was listening to "Marilyn Monroe" by Nicki Minaj (one of the few decent Nicki songs -- you should check it out). I think all females must feel like Marilyn at times. Except I have no clue what it must feel like to have been married to Arthur Miller, that dude who was her first husband (can't think of his name), or Joe DiMaggio. She had such a sad life, but she covered it up so well. Everyone must have thought she was constantly having fun and "living it up" as they say. Living a nightmare that looked like a dream.
07/07 Direct Link
The liberal media always exaggerates everything the Pope says. They're saying he's going to make some shocking pronouncement that will bring a controversial change to the Catholic Church. So of course, that has everyone thinking that the Pope is going to proclaim that gay marriages will be sanctioned by the Church. I think it will actually be something from his encyclical about the environment, but I guess this all remains to be seen. But then again, it does say that it's about family. If he does sanction gay marriage, there will be a huge schism. And heretics. Lots of heretics.
07/08 Direct Link
I worked all day and I still have work to do. If you care, and if it's not too much information, I have really bad PMS in which I am about to snap in a mad rage at anyone who dares cross my path. I feel like a dragon about to breathe fire, and it's not just because of heartburn. I can't wait till the week is over. Only two days left to survive, and then we'll see what happens. I can only hope I get through it in one piece. I can only hope that no one breathes fire on me.
07/09 Direct Link
I'm reading something about journaling, and it almost makes me want to start online journaling again, but then I remember why I quit and started writing on paper journals. Because of my eyes and my day job and the large amount of time I already spend in front of the computer. I need to find somewhere quiet and secluded in the woods with my notebook and just write forever until all the thoughts are out of my head and onto the paper where they can't bother anyone anymore and where they can't make my ears ring with everything I wanna say.
07/10 Direct Link
Wow. I'm really annoyed at my dad right now because he keeps repeating the same thing and going around in circles. He always asks me for advice, but then he takes it personally when I critique him, and I'm really not one of those people who is offensive when they give advice. I think he just wants some kind of validation that he is as much of a dirtbag as he thinks he is. I don't think he's a dirtbag at all, but he has had bad self-esteem problems for a long time. I guess it must be inherited.
07/11 Direct Link
I know it sounds like I complain a lot, but the majority of the time, I'm pretty happy. I guess the Internet is a good place to complain because more people will relate to your complaints. In real life, if you complain too much, people will exclude you from conversations, and you will be known only as that person who complains to much. That happened to an ex of mine. Someone once said that if he lived in a perfect world, he'd be miserable because there'd be nothing to complain about. Besides, complaining is a great deal of fun sometimes.
07/12 Direct Link
Someone in my county (where marijuana is not legalized) was arrested for possessing and distributing marijuana. I might have said this on here before, but I think they should legalize marijuana all over the country, but place the same restrictions on it that have been placed on alcohol/cigarettes. You have to be 21 or older, and you can't drive while using it, can't supply it to minors, etc. There's a lot of drugs out there, I know, and marijuana seems like it's the lesser of a lot of evils. But what do I know? I have never tried it.
07/13 Direct Link
Why does everyone seem to hate Antonin Scalia and Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and a bunch of other conservatives? And Robert Bork, but he's dead. They all seemed to hate him too. I guess it was because he wasn't afraid to speak his mind. I agree with him on a lot of things, but I wish I could speak my mind without being afraid of what others think. I suppose your own conviction will either grant you the greatest of enemies or the most loyal of followers, but I am too much of a wimp to find out.
07/14 Direct Link
A tick bit me and it wasn't even attached for five minutes before I pulled it off, yet the bite itches like crazy, and it's not even the bite itself that itches. The itch has spread all the way up my leg. I guess I must be very allergic to whatever is in ticks' saliva that makes me itch. Oh, well. That's my daily rant. Maybe I should turn this "blog" thing into a site where I pick something new to rant about. Or a blog where every other day I alternate between rants and gratitude posts. That'd be variety.
07/15 Direct Link
I was looking back at some of the random quotes I have written down in my journals over the years. Most of them are stuff that I say that's too crazy to be repeated to anyone else, so it goes in a notebook so I can laugh at it later. Some of it is stuff that other people say, and I keep quoting this one guy I work with all the time. I was reading back through my stuff and one year ago was almost exactly the same as this year. I guess that's sad in a way. What's progress?
07/16 Direct Link
Well, they cancelled 19 Kids and Counting. I guess that was coming. I could have predicted they were going to do that. And they're going to have this new show about a transgender person. That'll have the conservatives up in arms. I guess the Duggars aren't allowed to make a mistake, but people say it's not so much about the mistake as it's about hypocrisy. I stand firm in my belief that everyone is a hypocrite, no matter what they say or do. Oh, well. It is what it is and that's all that it is and was and will be.
07/17 Direct Link
There's a System of a Down song where the lead singer screams, "Come join the cause! Come join the cause! Who wants to come with me and come join the cause?" (Well, probably about 90% of SoaD songs are screaming, and I may be completely misinterpreting this, but every day, it does seem like there's a new cause that you should join or else you're going to be unpopular. I don't care about that anymore, or at least, I'm trying not to care anymore. I've been unpopular all my life, and if I was popular, it was for the wrong reasons. 
07/18 Direct Link
I'm weird and I'm awkward and I have to accept that, but I can't. Also I am anxious and shy to a fault. I have to accept that, too, because if I don't put in the time or shell out the money for medications to make it better, then I should just accept the fact, right? Maybe. People who have lots of patience with others should also have patience with themselves but they forget that. It's like how we think all these negative things about ourselves that we would never say to a friend. Think before you speak to yourself.
07/19 Direct Link
Still reading a depressing book about the downfall of society caused by what the author calls the New Left. The book was published in 1996, and it's scary how all of these things the New Left started have only gotten worse in almost 10 years. Radical feminism hasn't changed. They're still ranting and raving. The thought police are out in full force. I thought of a perfectly logical and reasonable thing to say yesterday, but I realized that if I said it, I'd be crucified by the thought police because it's not the PC, in vogue buzzword of the day.
07/20 Direct Link
The bazaar is bizarre and the fair is not fair. I like words that you can play with. The other day, I was thinking of words that sound beautiful but are ugly, like gonorrhea. I think there was a character in Shakespeare called Goneril, which sound similar. I have heard of someone naming their child Placenta because they liked the sound of the word. Or naming their kids La-a (pronounced "ladasha" but it's really la-hyphen-a because I can't make a dash here). Oh, well. Not knowing the difference between a hyphen and a dash is the least of these people's worries.
07/21 Direct Link
I had a weird fever this morning. It went away soon after, but I keep thinking that it might come back. I just don't want to come down with Lyme disease after all. Not fun being bedridden for any length of time unless I'm dreaming. Then I did have one of my usual dreams about the usual person I dream about, but this one had a bad aftertaste. I suppose that might have been because of the fever, but I don't feel out of the ordinary at all now. I can't afford to take off work. It's way too busy.
07/22 Direct Link
I'm starting to get annoyed by the phrase "as well" as in "I was doing some yoga, and I thought I might do some taekwondo as well." Plus, you've got "and" in there twice technically. "As well as" is almost as annoying, but it can sometimes serve a purpose. Most of the time, if I catch "as well" in what I'm writing, I end up deleting it.

I was thinking about falling in love and how I have forgotten what that feeling is like, but then I thought that I cannot fall in love; that would give me a headache.
07/23 Direct Link
A drunk college kid killed three people by driving drunk on the interstate. Apparently, he got on and was doing the wrong way. Where were this guy's friends who could have told him that he was making that huge mistake? Maybe they were just as drunk as he was, if not more drunk. I never understood the appeal of drinking. Seems like it is something you do when you're with friends. Drinking alone has always sounded pitiful to me, but I guess it's a good way to forget the fact that you're alone. I wish people wouldn't get drunk, though.
07/24 Direct Link
I couldn't believe it when I checked the news and saw that there has been another movie theater shooting. I thought it might be a copycat type of thing, and I guess it was, but the guy was mentally ill. More proof that guns are not the things that do the killing. If a mentally ill person really wants to kill, he will kill, gun or no gun. Guns do make things easier, I admit, but why ban innocent citizens from keeping guns if they want to feel protected and protect themselves in an emergency situation? The right to bear arms...
07/25 Direct Link
I'm reading a dumb YA book because it's the summer and I like to read dumb things during the summer. Last year, I read all three books in a VC Andrews trilogy. I can totally see the appeal of VC Andrews (I even watched the old version of the Flowers in the Attic movie), but some of the newer YA authors are kinda lame because there has got to be a party in every YA book. A party with alcohol. Characters who are shunned by their friends because they don't believe in having sex before marriage. The stereotypical gay best friend. Cliches, all!
07/26 Direct Link
Somehow I stumbled on portraits of "evil" people when they were young, which was somehow shocking. I don't see how it's shocking when everyone, even serial killers and despots, were babies once. I guess it's hard to think of them as innocent. So that's how I got to Gary Ridgway. They called him a "prolific" serial killer, which I find strange because prolific has the term "life" in it. You'd think they would come up with another word for that by now (and they probably have, but I'm just not thinking about it). I'm glad that sicko's in the penitentiary.
07/27 Direct Link
Equality. Tolerance. Words like that remind me of the names of some of the characters in Ayn Rand's book Anthem. They all had names like that and numbers, too. I swear, this is the society we are heading toward. I am all for stopping abuse of men and women, but let's not forget that men cannot biologically do some things that women can do and vice versa. To try to change the natural law is to play god and there is only one god, and he's not laughing. He's shaking his head at our collective arrogance. OK, getting off soapbox...
07/28 Direct Link
I forgot to write my 100 words yesterday. I wonder why. (So I'm actually writing the 28th's entry on the 29th.) I don't think I was overly preoccupied. 

Something odd happened this morning. I saw a woman at the gas station who reminded me of a woman I had seen in my dream where I was at a restaurant. The restaurant is a recurring feature in my dream, and I always wondered which restaurant it was supposed to be. When I saw the woman, I suddenly remembered and I was like, "ah, my subconscious is showing her hand!" Nice.
07/29 Direct Link
Traffic cameras are so creepy. I often wonder about how often my car has been captured on them when I'm mindlessly going to and from work. That's a very weird thing: you don't consciously think about the way you're going or what you pass. Yesterday I was going through my normal commute home, and I had to ask myself whether I had stopped a stop sign. I must have done it automatically because the car in front of me was the correct distance in front of me for me to have stopped (if that makes any sense). It was autopilot.
07/30 Direct Link
Poor, unfortunate Cecil the lion, may he rest in peace. Everyone manages to turn everything into a left versus right thing, and because of that, I'm taking a break from looking at the news sites that I normally go on. I try to look at some that are more right-wing and others that are more left-wing in an attempt to get some balance, but it's nearly impossible when you can never tell which side is stretching the truth or out-and-out lying, but I suppose both sides lie. Why do there even have to be sides?
07/31 Direct Link
Look at what I have. Look at these things that are in my possession. I am hopelessly jealous of people who are not afraid to go outside themselves, who are not afraid to be godless and crazy. Who are not afraid to throw all caution to the wind and drink and act like maniacs. I wish I could be brave, but is that really bravery? Or is it just acting stupid, you know that whole YOLO thing? (I thought that surely would have gone out of style a long time ago. And all I can do is sit uncomfortably in my chair.