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Another day, another month of May. A long time ago, I started my first batch on this site, and pretty soon, I'll have 100 batches. I could do the math and figure out how many words that is, but it really doesn't matter because I don't think the words are of value. There's nothing at all profound in anything I've said over the years. Just an emo kid slowly becoming less emo. Maybe becoming more like an adult instead of like an idiotic teenager. But I still have a very long way to go, and I don't know how long.
I hate when I start writing before I click the date on the calendar, then when I try to publish, my whole entry gets deleted because I forgot to click the date. Ugh. I've been telling myself to double check, but with all the other things going on in my brain, I don't always remember.
I saw a post on Tumblr that said "my brain has too many tabs open," and that perfectly applies to me, especially at work when the emails are flying and the clock is ticking toward a deadline or the time I have to leave.
I was complaining about how I turned to three different radio stations and a Maroon 5 song was playing on every one. I get so tired of Maroon 5. They have been around for more than 10 years now, and I do not want to hear Adam Levine's whining, unmasculine voice ever again. He's so gross -- I don't care that he was voted sexiest man in the world. He is not my idea of attractive. And I don't think the song "Animals" should be played on a so-called family-friendly radio station. Kids don't need to hear that crap.
May the fourth be with you!
Yesterday, I got my new writing schedule planned, and now the forces are trying to conspire against me to prevent me from keeping up with it. It's harder when I don't have an hour in the mornings like I used to, but unfortunately work takes priority over hobbies and things of that nature.
Today is a bad day for many people but not for me. It's got nothing to do with Star Wars Day. Just that people keep telling me bad things that have happened to them. I guess that's life for you.
Another day when I have nothing to write. I was walking around outside at work, which hardly ever happens. I'm too busy staring at the screen. Bad for my health, I know, and sitting can kill you, but I'll worry about that when I'm a million pounds overweight. Bad mentality I know... I could go on forever. Anyway, it was so nice outside that for some reason, I was reminded when I used to take walks on my college campus. Good memories, and I would walk so fast that it was hard to take in all the scenery. Slow down.
I read a really good article about NFP (that is, natural family planning). I'm single and I haven't dated anyone in almost two years, but I am doing the chart thing and taking my temperature every single day. It's interesting to see the body's natural rhythm and understand why your moods are the way they are. I understand that some women are on contraceptives because they have very bad menstrual cramps. I suppose that's fine. I am not completely sure what the moral standpoint on that is. I do think every woman should chart, at least for six months.
The week went by so fast once again. All I want to do is read. I'm on the third book in the Game of Thrones series (it's called A Storm of Swords), and I'm really liking it so far. I just wish I had discovered the series before it became so popular. Not that I'm a hipster or anything (well, I guess I am sometimes, but it's more fun than going along with the crowd all the time). A contrarian would be the more accurate term, I think. Liking things solely because no one else seems to care for them.
"We're all adults here."
That's a line that gets said when people aren't acting like adults and the most reasonable person in the room is trying to get people to act like adults. At some workplaces, there is too much drama and too many people acting like little whining babies. My workplace doesn't have drama, and I'm grateful for that. Everyone pretty much does all their work and minds their own business. Last time I checked, that's what one is supposed to do at work. Mind their own business, not act like a little kid and whine about personal drama.
The Internet is evil. Anything that can tear people away from other people and stick them in front of screens cannot be good at all. I know there's Skype and webcams and YouTube and other ways to see someone face to face, but it's not the same as actually meeting them in person. There are people who are so addicted to the Internet that they spend all day in front of a computer, getting up only to eat (although they eat sitting in front of the computer) and use the bathroom. It's so unhealthy. Go outside and into the sunlight.
For some reason, I get obsessed with certain rap/hip-hop songs. I'm not a huge fan of the genre, and in general, I tend to like songs rather than genres. But every now and then I hear a hip-hop song on the radio that sticks in my head. It must be because of the beat, because I cannot relate to the artist who created the song or the hip-hop/rap culture. Perhaps it's the singer's voice that I like. All I know is that I'm the whitest person in the world, and I enjoy hip-hop sometimes.
My printer doesn't want to be shared. It's set up as a shared printer, but for some reason it only prints my documents. It's sweet that my printer is so loyal to me, but it's annoying to everyone else who might want to use it. I guess that's one of the many ways that printers are a pain in the ass, not to mention that they run out of cyan ink at unexpected times. Luckily, my printer is black and white, so it doesn't have any color issues to worry about.
The Patriots are in disgrace. Good to hear.
The headline story on CNN is that millennials are leaving the church (the Christian church, that is). I suppose that means it was a pretty slow news day (but what about the other earthquake in Nepal?). Anyway, the news is sad but not surprising. I have a lot of crackpot theories about why millennials (AKA my generation) are leaving the church, but I don't want to share them. It's like getting instant flames. Yeah, I'm still a coward, even though for some reason, Pottermore said I was a Gryffindor. I don't know how I feel about soon being the minority.
I found a blog of someone who married someone I went to high school with. They were talking about their newly married life and their cute little baby. Although I found the whole thing cheesy, I still thought it was kinda cute. Makes me wonder about high school reunions. I'm supposed to go to my best friend's high school reunion with him this September, but I predict it'll only make him depressed. To this day, he laments losing the love of his high school life. I don't know, but I think that's kinda pitiful. Don't tell him I said that.
I've been blogging on my main blog for five years now. That's insane. Five years ago, I was about to be a college graduate, and I thought, Why don't I start a blog? So I did, and it became somewhat of a success. I got a lot of nice comments over the years, but my readership has recently slacked off, and I don't really care that much about it. I think it's good to have a record of my online madness somewhere besides here; I don't think anyone reads this "blog" or whatever you want to call it. This site.
I hardly ever win giveaways or really anything. Not even door prizes. I think it was a line from Family Guy, but it's always cracked me up: The lottery is just a tax on stupidity. In my old job, a lot of the people I worked with used to buy lottery tickets all the time. Sometimes they'd win $10 or $20 here and there, but it was nothing terribly significant. It's still a net loss if you count up how much they spent on the tickets versus how much they won in prize money. I do not understand the point.
This is going to be a very emo post, but sometimes I think I care too much. I'm super jealous of people who don't take life so seriously. (After all, you can't take life too seriously because no one gets out alive anyway.) They can blow off deadlines and go out with friends and not have to worry about the long list of chores that they have to do that day (or the next day). They live life in the moment, and I'm jealous because I haven't figured out how to do that yet. Maybe I will. I hope so.
It's been five years since I graduated college, and I think it's time I completed growing up. They say that you are not really "grown up" until you're 40. Do you have to be married and have kids to grow up? I don't think so. My mother's cousin never married and doesn't have kids, and she's grown up and mature. Maybe it's just a matter of life... growing up will grow on you. It's something that comes with time. I want to be the manager of my own life, but there is a lot of stress that comes with management.
It's only Monday and I'm so tired. I'll be glad when it's the Memorial Day weekend, and I have yet to request time off from work. I will probably wait until September after Labor Day. Seems like everyone always takes off around the same days when you want to take off, whether it's a typical vacation time or not. Oh, well. I'm going to try and stay off Tumblr for a little while. As much as I like the site, all the crazy people ranting get on my nerves, and I rant too much myself to listen to others' rants.
Ugh, my head hurts and it's either because I'm hungry or dehydrated or perhaps both. I wish I had the energy to go running around or do something physical, and I do, but it's like the minute I sit in front of a computer, I lose all that energy. I need to start getting up every five minutes and walking around the building or something, but it would get boring and I'd fall back into the same slump.
Chronic fatigue syndrome is nothing more than stress. One night away from work between workdays is not enough. Every other day off.
I was listening to some Natalie Imbruglia a little while ago in the car. She is a good artist, but I don't think she was really talked about enough beyond her hits that made it to the radio. "Torn" is not really her song, so it doesn't count anyway, and now that I really think about it, "Wrong Impression" is definitely not the strongest song on the White Lilies Island album. I like "Butterflies" and "Do You Love?" Or maybe I'm just tired of "Wrong Impression" because it's played on the radio so often. It's still a good song, though.
Supposedly the majority rules. They may rule, but they're not always right. There's a cliche that goes "What's right isn't always easy, and what's easy isn't always right." That's so true. I think about how easy it would be to fall in with the wrong crowd and to make the wrong decisions... make mistake after mistake after mistake, and not succeed by the world's standards. Happiness is supposedly the one true goal of people in the world today. Personal happiness at the expense of almost everything else, including doing what's right. And nobody knows what is truly right anymore. Sad.
Well, Josh Duggar is a pedophile. Or something like that. I have a lot of opinions on that, but I'm going to save them for my blog. I just think it's a shame that someone messes up like that or had a mental illness... I'm not sure that pedophilia is a mental illness (I think it is), but anyway, all of a sudden that person is a hypocrite. I think everyone on this planet is a hypocrite to one degree or another. It all depends on what they say they believe and how often they choose to go against it.
Something from childhood: I was about to turn 3 when my brother was born, and sometime before that, I remember some female adult saying to me, "You better hope that the baby is a boy because if it's a girl, she'll steal all your toys." Me, being the jealous little imp that I was (and still am), began to fervently hope that the baby was in fact a boy. Sure enough, lo and behold, he turned out to be a brother rather than a sister, and to this day, irrationally, I am very glad that I don't have a sister.
You're never too old to wear a Burger King paper crown, but unfortunately, you do get too large to fit in the ball pit. Sometimes I wish I could still go in the ball pit, but then I remember what a massive breeding ground for germs it is, and I am turned off very quickly. I was a huge germaphobe when I was little, and to some extent, I still am. Hand sanitizer is one of the greatest things ever invented. My mother hates it because it smells so medicinal, but I think it smells clean. It's cool and refreshing.
I always like looking back on old journals. It's a good way to pass the time right before you go to bed, when you lie down and you can't sleep because you need fifteen more minutes of wakefulness. I've said this before, but in late 2005/early 2006, I was a jealous pain in the ass. Ugh. I was reading back through one of my journals from that time and I couldn't even stand myself. So petty. Luckily, I think I have mostly grown out of that phase. I just expect people to think I'm the same for some reason.
Wow, I thought this site was done for. I kept going to it every day, but the site didn't load. Maybe it was some kind of issue on my end. Perhaps it took a break for Memorial Day week. But now I have four entries to catch up on, and writing about 100 Words is probably the most boring thing you can ever write about on 100 Words. Nothing has happened in these four days in the news except something about FIFA, which I think has something to do with soccer. But it's a sport I do not understand well.
I woke up in a bad mood for no reason at all. I kept knocking things over. Maybe days when you drop things all the time and knock things over are bad nerve days or something. Two people passed me on double yellow lines when I was going five miles over the speed limit. Fools, I say! I wish one of them had gotten pulled over, so I could have stuck out my tongue and generally acted immature. I can't believe my birthday is coming up soon. I'm so old, but I don't act like it at all. I'm immature.
I've been watching a lot of the "top 10 worst songs of 20XX" videos on YouTube, and I feel like they're all copying each other. I must have horrible taste in music (or at least in hip-hop) because almost all of the lists I watched said that "Don't Tell 'Em" was a horrible song, but I find it to be very addictive and dance-able. I don't know. It reminds me of that "Beware" song a couple years back. Maybe I just like songs with minimalist beats that everyone else tends to hate. I'm still going to listen anyway.
All caught up! I'm glad it's almost the weekend. Once again, I am theorizing that I'm not as busy as I should be. The more idle I am, the more evil thoughts infest my brain. So I start beating myself up because I have nothing better to do. Not literally of course, but mentally. Like "I should be doing this, I should be doing that." But I shouldn't really be doing anything. Life is what you make of it, and my life doesn't have to be like everyone else's. It can be what it is or what it isn't. That made no sense.
I think I know why people become workaholics. (Well, I think I know one reason.) Their lives suck. They look at themselves in the mirror and perhaps they compare themselves to someone else, and they drown their sorrows in work, just like another person might drown their sorrows in alcohol or drugs or sex or any other mindlessly addictive thing. These people have some type of problem in their personal life, so they bury themselves in work to avoid their issues instead of confronting their personal problem. I think that problem is more common than you think. It's a cliche.
I was reading a story about someone who was so mad at the Catholic Church that he (or it could have been a she, the person had sent an anonymous letter) threatened to desecrate the host. Now that's just immature, petty, and stupid of that person to do that. Also, it makes no sense. If you're mad at the priest, why take your anger out on the body of Christ? The innocent, the fragile? The one who gave his life for you? It makes no sense, but sometimes people do really nonsensical things when they're angry. Those filthy freaking animals.
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