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BY M

10/01 Direct Link
Today is the first day of October! Woohoo! I don't know what that means in terms of anything, but it's a new fiscal year, and there is only about a month left before NaNoWriMo hits. I have no idea what I want to write, but that's mostly a lie because I do have ideas... I just have no idea which idea I want to pick. I like how the weather is finally cooling down enough so that I don't have to put the A/C on when I'm driving home. On hot days, I am glad for the parking deck.
10/02 Direct Link
I don't have any ideas for my blog, so I may dig through these 100 words for topics that I might have written about briefly but would like to write about in more than 100 words. Seems like it would be easy to find something. Or else I'll write about how NaNoWriMo is next month and how I would really like to do a write-in, but most of them are far away and I doubt I'll be able to go to one. Not to mention the whole social aspect. I got into writing because it was a solitary activity!
10/03 Direct Link
I got up 20 minutes earlier than usual. The cat woke me up at 4:30, so I slept for a little while (or dozed, can't recall which). Then I had to pee and I didn't want to get up to pee and lie back down again, so I got up at around 5:10 and figured there'd be no point in going back to sleep. I got to work in 40 minutes. It usually takes about 45 or 50. Oddly enough, there were more people at work than there normally are when I first arrive. Those dang early birds.
10/04 Direct Link
I feel like most of what I post on here lately is boring. Nothing exciting happens to me, and I guess that's a good thing. Too much excitement can lead to stress, which can lead to sickness.

In other news, I do not like fall and winter as much as spring and summer because it gets dark so early. I'm not looking forward to daylight saving time... I wish they would abolish it. I don't see why we really need it anyway. I think we used to need it, but we don't anymore. Like the traditional school calendar or something.
10/05 Direct Link
I had a dream about the girl who hated me. I was trying to tell her that there is more to life than competing with other girls and having a boyfriend and trying to be the best at everything. There is more to life than betraying your friends in your quest for the boyfriend you think is perfect. When he treats you like garbage, you feel even worse because you know you sacrificed a good friendship to be with him. 

I know this is a lot of high school crap, but it hits me hard when I dream it. 
10/06 Direct Link
I think I know what I'm going to do for NaNoWriMo. The project is going to be called "Ref 2.0" and it's basically going to be a diary of sorts, in which I bring back my old love of journaling. I haven't yet decided if I want to fictionalize it in any way or just make it 100% true. If I decide to write about dreams, I could also work in the idea I had about subconscious and her thoughts and memories. But this is a "path of least resistance" NaNo because I will have another project going on.
10/07 Direct Link
I have that song "You" by Candlebox stuck in my head. I know a lot of people consider grunge/postgrunge the worst kind of music possible, what with its whiny-voiced singers and distorted guitar sounds, but it's my favorite genre of music, especially the 90s grunge. Not sure I'd count Nirvana in that, even though I think they technically started the movement. It's that they're so overrated and overplayed on the radio that I don't enjoy listening to them anymore. It is always more satisfying to find an unknown grunge band and lament over why they weren't more popular.
10/08 Direct Link
I have a song called "The King of Wishful Thinking" stuck in my head. I think it's sung by some 80s band, but I'm not going to look it up because I'm lazy, and I don't really care that much. It's about some guy who tells himself that he's over this girl, but he really isn't over her, so he calls himself the king of wishful thinking. Sometimes I'm the queen of wishful thinking; I tell myself all these things, but they don't always come true and I lie to myself to feel better. I think everyone does that sometimes.
10/09 Direct Link
Got four days to catch up on since leaving for the conference. I had access to the Internet, but it was through my phone, and I didn't feel like plucking out 100-word entries on that tiny keypad with one finger. I miss my old phone with the keyboard that slid out, so at least I could type with two thumbs. Everyone else was smart and brought laptops and tablets, but I didn't. Oh, well. I survived. A laptop wasn't 100% mandatory for any of the workshops. The social interaction drained me a little, but even so, I got through.
10/10 Direct Link
I may have said this before, but I really like riding on airplanes. The only things I don't like are how cramped they are, especially if you get one of the small planes with only two passengers on either side of the aisle and when you stand up, you hit your head on the overhead bin. I also don't like it when my ears pop because it takes me days to get over the feeling that my ears are stuffed with cotton. Not sure why. Maybe something is wrong with my inner ear and I need to get it checked.
10/11 Direct Link
Another aspect of airplanes that I like is the takeoff and landing. Feeling the power of the machine. I actually like sitting next to random people and listening to their accents, their conversations, and looking at them and trying to figure out where they are from and why they are going where they're going. I sat beside two people with British accents on the plane to Atlanta. The seat beside me on the plane back home was empty, but the short, fat woman sitting by the window had a Hello Kitty phone and was reading an Essence magazine. Good times.
10/12 Direct Link
It's hard to run a blog nowadays. You have to be so careful about what you say because you can never be truly anonymous, and even if you think you are anonymous, one or more of your readers probably knows where you live or even who you are. You have to be careful that whatever you post isn't slandering to others or racist or prejudiced unless you really don't care what your future or current employer thinks. You can never, ever post naked pictures because those will resurface at the worst possible time no matter how well you guard them.
10/13 Direct Link
I'm one of those odd people who doesn't use salad dressing all the time. It's OK every now and then, but sometimes I like to taste the salad and not just the dressing. Today I was going to get dressing for the Caesar salad I had, but I forgot, so I had the salad without dressing and actually tasted the lettuce and the cheese and the croutons and the chicken without the prevailing taste of dressing. This has officially been the most boring post in the history of the world. I now return to whatever I was doing before this.
10/14 Direct Link
I think I was awakened during a period of REM sleep, and when I wake up in the middle of a dream, I'm always more tired then when I was awakened at any other time during sleep. This is going to be TMI post, so it was my time of the month that woke me up. It's always about an hour before I'm supposed to get up, so by the time I fall asleep again, I have only slept for ten minutes. Almost fell asleep on the drive to work and crashed into a bridge abutment (joking, but it's not funny).
10/15 Direct Link
People are saying that Jana Duggar is a spinster because she isn't married and she's 24. I know a ton of people who aren't married and are 24 or even older. I suppose Jana might be considered a spinster in Duggarland, but fewer than 100 Christian extremists in the world hold to those views. I agree with most of what the Duggars believe, but it doesn't seem right that they should push the women toward careers in nursing, housewifery, or midwifery. The women should have the opportunity to go to college and learn whatever they want. It's the fair thing.
10/16 Direct Link
For some reason, I am very afraid that people will think I'm stupid. I've already proven that I'm not the smartest time and time again, and it doesn't bother me. I have lost face and I don't care, so why do I care now? Maybe it's because I have a different group of people to make an impression on... or maybe it's just pride. For a "stupid" person, I have an awful lot of pride. Maybe the pride is what makes me stupid. I don't know. Either way, it's a ridiculous thing to worry about when there are other things.
10/17 Direct Link
I was taking a mini-course on time management, and to this day, I believe the key to managing your time is not procrastinating and wasting your time on useless stuff when there is other stuff that can be done that day that might be more painful to work on but is ultimately more important. I think I have gotten a little bit better at procrastination, and at work, there are so many deadlines that it's almost impossible to procrastinate. But when I get home, I have things to do, and instead of doing them, I collapse into procrastination land.
10/18 Direct Link
There was an article on Salon about a girl (I guess I should say woman, although I'm 26 and still consider myself a girl) who is still a virgin at 26. I have this idea that Salon published that article simply to mock her, but who knows -- maybe they do have good intentions. Listen, people. If you're a virgin (at any age), you're not a freak. You've done good. You've done better than all these other people who are in pain because they gave their purity away too soon and who cannot control themselves. But they can always try again.
10/19 Direct Link
I hardly ever preorder things, least of all video games. I'm still working my way through Pokemon Pearl, which came out way back in 2007 (I think), so why should I bother getting the latest video game when it's going to be a few years before I even get around to playing it? Video game prices also go way, way down after the first release. Trading cards on the other hand, start out relatively cheap, but get much more expensive and rare as time goes on. Once they're off store shelves, the price balloons. I know I have expensive hobbies. 
10/20 Direct Link
I looked at some of my old sites on the Internet Wayback Machine. That was a very interesting trip to look at myself circa 2007. For some reason, I thought I hadn't changed much since then, but when I read some of the old journal entries, I realized that I had changed. I was depressed and emo and upset a lot back then, which could have been attributed to a variety of different things. I was obsessed with my boyfriend at the time, which may have contributed to my depression. But I am happy that I looked back at that.
10/21 Direct Link
I really want to start a new story for NaNoWriMo, but I have all these first drafts and I haven't really gotten around to editing any of them. However, I want to do NaNo simply because I've done it every year since 2008, and I enjoy scribbling down 50,000 words of nonsense that may or may not amount to anything. I am thinking of redoing my journal as my NaNo project, but I'm not 100% sure that will be exciting enough to get me through the month, especially since my life is relatively boring. Maybe I'll pick another idea.
10/22 Direct Link
I'm trying to learn and put into practice some time management skills (for NaNoWriMo but really for my real life, especially at work). I'm more organized than a lot of people I know, but I still need a lot of work to get where I want to be, which is with no distractions! Even so, the worst thing is procrastination, especially Internet procrastination. I have to turn off Tumblr and WordPress and all those distracting sites and just focus for a while, but it's tough. Hopefully this 2-hour time management course teaches me something, even if it is short. 
10/23 Direct Link
I'm not sure whether I have a cold or seasonal allergies. Also, I realize that I start a lot of sentences with "I'm not sure" because I am never sure about anything. The other day I was doing a repetitive task at work while listening to my 90s alternative mix on Spotify. I realized that I knew the name of every lead singer of every band, but I can't remember important stuff. Like how kids might be able to memorize the name of every Pokemon (and there are a ton of those now), but they can't remember their multiplication tables. 
10/24 Direct Link
I need to stop watching the TV show I'm watching because I keep having dreams about ex-crushes whom I should have forgotten about 10 years ago or more. It's pitiful. Or else I need to get back into dating... not that I was ever involved in dating in the first place. It's not easy at all. All the TV shows and movies make it look so easy. They make love and relationships look so breezy and uncomplicated, but they conveniently forget to mention that if you start having sex with someone, you've added a whole 'nother layer of complication.
10/25 Direct Link
Gotta stave off procrastination long enough to get some editing done on my story. It's about 80k words or so, and I've let it sit for a month now, so I'm going to tackle it today. With MS Word comments and tracked changes, color-coded so that I can be organized. I'm going to go hard on this manuscript because it's the basis for all the others, the foundation for the entire series. That does make me a little nervous to realize, but it'll be all right. Nobody will see it until it's published or until I feel like sharing.
10/26 Direct Link
I follow this Duggar appreciation blog on Tumblr, and it's kind of funny... who cares if the wedding night sex is awkward? It's supposed to be. That's the whole point of marriage; getting to know each other and learning more and more about each other for life. In every single way. You get to know that person mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually... and you get to keep on getting to know that person. Of course there will be awkward moments. There always are. These are humans we're talking about, not perfect people! I wish people would cut the Duggars some slack. 
10/27 Direct Link
I finally have a name for the county that my fictional town is in. Now I suppose I have to start compiling information about it. Faulkner has Yoknapatawpha County, and now I have this odd county (but I will not reveal the name of it yet). Funny how Google Chrome spellcheck doesn't think the name of Faulkner's county is misspelled, but it thinks spellcheck is misspelled. Oh, well. I always thought spellcheck was one word, but I guess it isn't. I wonder what MW online has to say about that. I'm rambling now because I have nothing better to say.
10/28 Direct Link
Some people spend way too much time online and it affects their entire life. Then they get super critical of people and judge them and think they are so wise because they know so much from spending so much time on the Internet. Sorry for the mini-rant, but I had to get it off my chest. The only way you can really get to know about life is to get out in the world not just sit in front of a computer and hope you can get smart from there. There is more to life than dumb YouTube comments.  
10/29 Direct Link
Maybe I just find things boring because I do not understand them or haven't been told anything about them. I can edit text that's about stuff I don't understand, but I'd probably be a better editor if I did understand what it was about. It is interesting how my eyes skate over the meaning to sort out odd syntax, missing commas, and misspelled words. I can pretend I'm some kind of computer. But I am more than a computer. I'm not programmed to sit in my chair in front of a screen and scan text that I don't understand. 
10/30 Direct Link
OK, this is weird, but the first time I heard the song "Hey Man, Nice Shot" by Filter, I couldn't understand a word of it and thought he was saying "He-man nation," and I had no clue what that meant. Because I couldn't understand the song, I didn't really like the song. Then, much later, I found out the meaning of the song and the lyrics. It's about Budd Dwyer, that guy who shot himself in the head because he was involved in some political scandal. I guess they were being sarcastic when they said "hey man, nice shot."
10/31 Direct Link
Halloween, the last day of the month, and NaNoWriMo's tomorrow. I don't even know where to begin. I also have to write a blog post, and I think I'm going to take the easy way out and write about candy that I like because I'm 26 going on 6. Seriously, though. I never really cared much for Halloween. Dressing up and going to strangers' houses... and it's suddenly OK to talk to strangers because your parents are right there behind you prompting you about what to say. Halloween would be fun as a teenager; going out with friends and carousing.