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BY M

02/01 Direct Link
Finally it's February! (Or I could have said, "It's finally February!" but I don't care about word order right now. It's too early in the morning.) The shortest month of the year, and quite often one of the coldest. I think we're going to see some springlike temperatures where I live, though. I wish it would snow just one more time before winter leaves us. I love a snow day. Snow in February where I live isn't unheard of, so maybe it will happen. I'll keep my fingers crossed, my boots waiting by the door, and my gloves close by!
02/02 Direct Link
Happy Groundhog Day! I don't think the little guy is going to see his shadow, at least not around here. It's dim and cloudy outside. It feels like spring. It's humid and the high for today is supposed to be 71, then it's dropping all the way down to 45 for tomorrow's high. It's ridiculous. And here I go, talking about the weather like a boring person. (I never said I was interesting though.)

Nothing really to write about; at least nothing that comes immediately to mind. I keep having really weird dreams. I need to stop reading certain books.
02/03 Direct Link
Now it's back to 45 degrees and winter. Groundhog, you have failed me. CNN had a poll up about what everyone's favorite season is. I picked spring. Fall won, then spring, then summer, then winter with a whopping 6% of people who voted.

There's a bit of bias there. It's winter right now and it's not a pretty winter with all this snow for the northeast and everything else. I bet if they had taken that poll in the summer, winter would have been more of a favorite.

Spring and fall are always nice; except for the daylight savings changes.
02/04 Direct Link
I dreamed another dream where I was married. I have them all the freaking time and I don't know why. I have no desire to get married at all. This is strange. I mean, in the dreams, it's a happy marriage and the husband treats me well.

Weird.

I keep having other dreams where I'm around by the gas station at the center of "town" and I'm in a sleeping bag. Guys walk past me and wake me up. In these dreams, it's usually the fourth of July or somewhere thereabouts. Cars drive up and drop people off. I sleep.
02/05 Direct Link
It's finally Saturday! A dreary Saturday, but a Saturday nonetheless. I'm looking forward to getting a lot done today and hopefully I shall accomplish my goals. I'm going to church tomorrow because my CCD class is doing the liturgy at Mass. I normally go on Saturday night (it's great because you don't have to wake up early in the morning).

But something came up today that may foil my plans. I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I should just - be a Christian. Do what Jesus would do. That's so difficult... I don't know. I'll figure it out, I hope.
02/06 Direct Link
I heard something really cool when I was working a few days ago. It's this:

I won't let anyone steal my joy.

I've been trying to follow that logic for as long as possible. Nobody can steal my joy because it's mine. I have control over my emotions and I'm not going to let anyone take control and change my emotions from joy to sorrow or nervousness or anger. I'm finally taking the wheel and I'm full of joy.

Nobody's going to steal my joy.

Let this be your philosophy. Try it for a week - it works! It's that great!
02/07 Direct Link
OK, everyone. I said I didn't care who won the Super Bowl, but deep down inside I really wanted the Packers to win and they did.

It seems like the Steelers win every single year or they get into the finals every year. It seems like more people are fans of the Steelers (well, at least I know more people who are Steelers fans) and the Packers rarely get any attention.

I root for the underdog or the team that hasn't won or gotten into the finals in a while. I feel bad for the Carolina Panthers. They never win.
02/08 Direct Link
Odd.

I use that word way too much. My new favorite word is

aberration

and I used to like

random

a lot when I was in high school (I still use it often, though).

There are a few others I find myself ashamed that I am constantly using, such as

like

some other four-letter words

but I really like

pontificate

because it sounds so pretentious and is used to talk about pretentious people talking.

My dad always likes to use

substantial

but I don't really care much for it, although I find myself using it like it's come to me through osmosis.

Osmosis

sounds good, is nice.
02/09 Direct Link
Now that I have my revision plan for this year, I'm already beginning to plan my rewriting plan for next year. It's hard to plan very far ahead because things are constantly changing and you never know what one day might bring.

I'm going to take it one step at a time, one day at a time and never lose optimism. Pessimism is so old and I'm tired of it. I'm looking ahead to the future with the knowledge that YES I CAN do it and I shall succeed, even though obstacles may block the road in front of me.
02/10 Direct Link
Today we had what will probably be the last snow of the season. Where I live, it's pretty rare to get snow in February at all. This winter, there has been an unusual amount of snow. Normally, we just get a few flurries or even nothing at all.

I like the snow. I love the way the sky gets completely white and all around is silent. I just wish that cold weather didn't have to be the prerequisite for snow. Too bad it doesn't snow in the summer...

Although I like the snow, I'm ready for some warm weather now.
02/11 Direct Link
Frost covered the ground today. Little rocks and pebbles had frozen to the road overnight. When I tried to kick them, I hurt my foot; they were stuck that firmly.

I wish I was that anchored. I still feel the urge to drift off into daydreams and forget about what's real. I would rather focus on fantasy land because reality is a big frightening beast.

But if I was that anchored, I would never be able to move. I'd never move away from reality and it would suck me dry of imagination.

I hope the sun comes to warm me.
02/12 Direct Link
Sometimes I forget to shut my computer down. This bothers me for some reason, even though there are tons of computers all around the world that are never shut down. (Servers.)

It must have been about five in the morning when I heard the robotic feminine voice issuing from my computer speakers: "Virus database has been updated." (Oh, really now? I'm sure you're lying.)

That was when I knew for sure my computer had been awake and alive all night long. I thought I saw the blinking light in my sleep, but perhaps it was all part of a dream.
02/13 Direct Link
I hate all the rush that goes on these days. Even though we have all this technology that's supposed to make our lives easier, it's making everything slow.

When you multitask, you're not doing everything you're doing all at the same standard. You're doing a half-assed job at all of those things. But if you slow down and take things one at a time, you'll do a much better job. I've never met anyone who is really "good at multitasking" because there's no such thing.

So why rush? You have one life to live. Don't just rush through it.
02/14 Direct Link
It's Valentine's Day! I don't really care for the holiday; even when I was in a relationship, I never really did. It's overrated. I'd rather celebrate my relationship on an anniversary, but that's just me.

Remember that Valentine's Day is also a saint's day. So technically, it's a Catholic holiday. Say a prayer! Count your blessings! Whether you're in a relationship or not, be glad you're alive!

I'm high on life right now, so please excuse the overly happy ravings... it's just that I can sense spring right around the corner! The beautiful narcissus is coming up slowly but surely!
02/15 Direct Link
Are we always attention-seekers? Or are we only attention seekers in certain stages of our lives? Craving attention and wanting "our fifteen minutes of fame" might just be part of the human condition. We might feel the need to set ourselves apart from the crowd, even if it's just for a few minutes.

"Hey, look at me! My name's ______ and this is how I'm different!"

There is nothing new in the world. History repeats itself. Everybody goes through the same things in life. The only person they're new to is ourselves. Learning from the past is very important.
02/16 Direct Link
You ever hear one of those songs on the radio that you just have to sing to? One of those is Christina Perri's (I might have spelled her name wrong) song "Jar of Hearts" - it's a sad anti-love song that's very sing-able, if that's even a word. When I give up music for Lent this year, I'm really going to miss that song.

I would post some of the lyrics here (they're pretty) but I'm paranoid about copyright issues and things of that nature. YouTube it, look up the lyrics or whatever, because you'll be wanting to sing.
02/17 Direct Link
I'm bothered by how everyone's so addicted to technology these days. Everywhere I go, I see people texting on their phones, jabbering to no one in particular (but then I see they have a BlueTooth), and jamming to unheard music on their iPods. People don't pay attention anymore.

I would walk into the computer lab in school on a busy day and nearly every screen would be showing Facebook. Or MySpace. Or Pandora. Something other than homework or studying.

And the laptops, too - they get smaller and cuter, but they still manage to suck down so much of our attention.
02/18 Direct Link
Now that Java is installing, it might ask me to shut down my computer. I'll be glad if it does. I need an excuse to rip my eyes from the screen and attach them (like Velcro) to my book.

Oh, never mind. Java finished installing and didn't need me to restart the computer. Maybe I ought to restart anyway. Nah. I won't.

In other news, it's Friday! I can't believe this week has ripped on so fast! I think it's true that the older you get, the faster time goes. Things used to take forever when I was a kid.
02/19 Direct Link
Ah, it's 11 o'clock and morning is pretty much gone. Mornings are my favorite part of the day; I don't like night and I don't like the dark where "things can happen."

The night makes me fidgety. It makes me long for the safety of bedtime. I'm in my twenties and night scares me. I don't like to go out. I know so many people my age who stay up past midnight, but I just can't bring myself to do it. 10 is my bedtime and it will probably stay that way for a long time.

Mornings make me happy.
02/20 Direct Link
A key is a phallic symbol, according to Freud. A lock is a symbol of the feminine. So does that mean women who wear those key charms around their neck wear the pants in their relationships?

Something to think about...

But in other news, I freaking love my best friend. He's seriously the best person I've ever known in my life. I just hope I can be half as good to him as he is to me.

And in other news, Ruby Tuesday is worth going to. It's a decent restaurant, similar to Applebee's, Chili's and things of that ilk.
02/21 Direct Link
Today is Presidents' Day in the United States. I wonder how many people are out of school and work for this holiday. I know I wouldn't be out of school. It's kind of strange how they decide which holidays to let people out of school on...

In my college, I had to go to class on Veterans Day, but not on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Labor Day was always a no-class day. I don't get why we had to go to class on Veterans Day. I used to get out of school for Veteran's Day in public school...
02/22 Direct Link
Dog books from the 1970s are hilarious. I was reading one about the Pekingese and it said something to the effect of "Pekingese, like most other breeds, love to chase cats, so every Peke should have his own pet cat."

Huh? Pets for a pet?

It's true, though. My Pekingese loves to chase the cats and she does treat them like her own pets. (She treats me as a pet, too, as a matter of fact.)

I wish I could go to a dog show. There was a cat show this past weekend, but I don't want to see that.
02/23 Direct Link
I'm leaving today. I'm getting out of the house, finally! When you work at home, you're sort of chained to your house. The commute isn't long. You have to dodge a laundry basket, two cats, and a dog, but you'll make it without faceplanting straight into the chair rail.

I'll pack my things now and make sure everything's ready for my trip. I won't be gone long, but this "commute" will feel longer, even though I'm going about 2 hours away.

I'll be safe. I'll pray for travel mercies. I'll mind the laundry basket on my way out the door.
02/24 Direct Link
I went out of town for a few days and it was all right. I like getting away every so often and it's good for me as a person. Meeting new people, seeing new places, and having new experiences is always good for anyone.

It can wake you up to the life you've been living, sometimes. When you go home, you've been changed in some way - more than likely for the good. You might have figured out how your new experiences can help you in life. You might figure out what you've learned from them and what you can do.
02/25 Direct Link
There was a mis-communication. It's easier to mis-communicate by e-mail because some phrases have innate ambiguity. Sarcasm is difficult to pick up on in e-mails or other forms of "text" messages. If you know the person, you typically know when they're being sarcastic or not. But if you don't know the person, you may have a misunderstanding.

Just think carefully about what you send via "text" messaging. If it's a personal e-mail and you use sarcasm, put lol after it so the sarcasm isn't missed, especially if you're talking with someone who doesn't get sarcasm.
02/26 Direct Link
It's one of those awkward moments where I can't decide what to write about. I'll start by saying the Arial font or whatever font it is that Gmail uses is annoying to me. Verdana would be better.

You know, I bet there's a way to change the font, but I just haven't managed to figure that out yet. Honestly, it doesn't annoy me enough to where I care that much to figure out how to change it. (I don't think that last sentence made any sense at all.)

So I'll finish by saying - yup, it's definitely a very awkward moment.
02/27 Direct Link
February always seems to go by so fast. Well, of course - it is the shortest month.

I take that back. Every year seems to go by faster and faster. I might have written about this before in here, but it bothers me. It feels like there's never enough time in the day to do anything you really like. It's like there's only time for necessities - sleep, work, eating, etc.

Extra things fall by the wayside when time speeds. It's all about how you prioritize. Make what you love a priority and try to do something you love every single day.
02/28 Direct Link
February's over and it nearly took winter out with it! (I'd rather be sweating than shivering most of the time - bring on spring and summer!)

Revision is clicking along quite nicely. There are still a number of things I have to do, but they'll get done. (Or rather, I'll get them done.)

I'm pleased with life as of right now. As with revision, there are a number of things to get done and improve with life. But isn't that what life is all about? Revising yourself so you can keep doing your best and getting better all the time?

Peace.