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They're Japanese hot springs. I'd like to go, but you have to be totally naked, possibly in front of people you don't know. I've never had a problem with self-consciousness, but public bathing isn't really something that's done in America. I mean, we have locker rooms and stuff like that, but even then... they have stalls and shower curtains. I saw a picture of onsen and it's all out in the open; I guess everyone over there is so used to it that it doesn't faze them... but still, it seems really weird to my American mind.
Open Your Heart
I want to open my heart, but it seems that when I do, people take advantage of me. They don't seem to realize that I am a person, too and that I have wants and needs. They open up to me, but it's too much. They reveal problems and concerns that need to be told to a psychiatrist or a doctor, not a friend. I don't understand why I become a doormat for everyone's dirt. I know that I need to become more assertive, but it's hard when someone's pouring their heart out to you and needs help.
Operation Market Garden
An Allied mission during World War II that was the largest airborne operation of all time, and yes, I had to Wikipedia that. Sad, I know, especially considering that I enjoy reading about World War II. But what really bugs me was that I was certain I had heard the phrase before and knew it had something to do with World War II, but I didn't know exactly what. I hate that I no longer have very much time to read about World War II and other things I'm interested in because I'm reading all this school stuff.
I must have used that word a million times this semester in writing for my internship; I intern at the business college at my university, so they're forever talking about all these opportunities the business college leads to - and it's true - they are a pretty good school - they do a better job of marketing their program than my own college. That's probably because they're all majoring in marketing over there, but whatever. And my ex boyfriend spelled opportunity like "opertunity" and I wanted to kick him. I don't think I'll ever date another bad speller again. Sorry, guys. I won't.
This is an epic truth, but it may not be for the best. There are certain qualities I'd like in a partner, and some of them are opposite from mine; some of them are exactly the same. I like a guy who is talkative because I am very quiet, but I also like a guy who is interested in the same things I am; or at least a guy who has a similar sense of humor. Super-sarcastic people bother me... I'm not smart enough to absorb that much sarcasm. But right now, I'm not attracted to anyone... yet.
I like bright colors and orange is one of my favorites, along with bright pink, bright blue, and bright green. Those colors scream out, "notice me!" especially when they're on mini-skirts and tank tops. People really do notice, I mean, like, when I walk down the halls at school, every head turns. Sometimes the administration tries to get me, but I don't care what they think. It's my style, and if it distracts anyone else at school, that's their problem; they were staring too long. I know I'm beautiful. I know bright colors make me look good.
I can be ornery, when I want to be left alone. There are too many stupid people around, especially at school, and they get on my nerves. By the time I get home, I'm too exhausted from dealing with their crap to focus on my little sister and her own brand of stupidity. She's not stupid, because she's only nine, but still... it irritates me. I wish I had an older sister; someone I could complain to about the stupidity and she'd understand. Carmen just gives me a weird look and asks me to play Barbies with her.
Our Last Kiss (Restless)
I hated the day Rocky graduated. I pretended to be happy for her, and a part of me was very happy for her. It was the part of me that wanted to keep her that lamented and mourned her absence. There comes a time when my favorite student always leaves, but Rocky was my absolute favorite. She loved me and I loved her - our last kiss was right after she got her diploma. Her eye makeup was coming down her cheeks from crying, but she looked beautiful in that cap and gown. We cried together then.
Our Own World
My ex and I used to live in our own little world. He had ideas for a story, and I told him I'd write it. I wrote a whole freaking stack of pages, and countless other pages typed into Microsoft Word that were never printed. We broke up in April and he still wanted me to finish the story for him. I finished one part, then quit. I totally stopped talking to him. It was the apocalypse of our little world. I did this Mary Sue test on the internet for one of his characters: Totally Mary Sue.
In the shower, I felt myself beginning to faint. My vision started to disappear and everything got dark. I had my eyes shut and when I opened them I could only see darkness; my eyes would not clear, and I could not see for about ten seconds. I felt nauseated and turned off the water, then stepped out of the shower and waited until the feeling passed. It was the strangest thing; I did not feel right for about ten minutes after that, then it slowly began to fade. I would never want to almost pass out cold again.
It's lonely here in outer space. That's how a song goes, I know that much. I don't know much about outer space, but I do know that when you're looking at a star that's very far away, you're actually seeing it as it was in the past. That's amazing to me. The star is seeing you in the future. I love the amazing things about physics, but I'm worried about this Large Hadron Collider thing. I don't see how it can be sabotaging itself, unless God doesn't want us to go through with it, which makes all the sense.
I thought up a new theory now that is quite outlandish. I want to call it the 2 Months Theory. I think that, two months after the beginning of every relationship, is when the two people begin to argue, or at least have their first serious argument. If you make it past the "response interference" at that 2 month mark, good. Well done. But you have to make sure there is nothing lingering, or you will keep hitting the same problem months or even years down the line. I wonder if that theory is true for everyone or just me?
Over Their Dead Bodies (Vince)
I was listening to Drowning Pool's song "Bodies" and I realized that I don't really like metal anymore. When I felt rebellious as a freshman, I would listen to metal, but now I can't stand the sound. Metal was written for immature people with anger problems. I used to be one of those people, so this is not an attack against them; it's really an attack on anger. Don't let it become your whole life. Don't let it take you over. Try your best to think rationally through it. It's hard, but well worth it.
Overcast days make me sad. I like being up early in the morning, out in the bright sunshine, and playing with the animals over at the shelter. I hate overcast or rainy days because that means I have to do boring things like sit inside and answer the phone or clean cages. The dogs and I love to go outside and walk; they go out so rarely and hardly ever get exercise. I hope one day, they'll be adopted, but some of their days are numbered... I wish people would spay and neuter their pets to prevent overpopulation.
I considered having an overdose of something, even when I was in sixth grade. I had to do something to take away the pain, to take away the voice of Peter that was a constant ache in the back of my mind. Every time he called me it was supreme torment. I am free of him, now that I am relieved. I am free of the dualistic form my mind took on when it had been controlled by him. I am entirely free and I love the feeling. I no longer need an overdose to keep me sane.
We all live on oxygen. I hate the feeling of constriction in your chest that comes with a cold, the flu, or just something too tight. I hate feeling that I can't pull in enough oxygen for some reason. I need water right now and I don't feel like drinking from the tap because the water in this city is disgusting and has some kind of sediments floating in it. The pH of that water is probably far below 7. I am a broke college kid, too broke to buy purified water or even a bottle from the vending machine.
This is such a broad topic. I don't even want to write about pain. I hate it when I buy a pair of new shoes because I have to go through that "breaking in" period, during which I usually get a blister on my foot, then a callus. It doesn't matter what type of shoes I buy; no matter what, I always get a blister. That's why I keep my shoes for a really long time, practically until they fall apart. I don't want to get a blister. I would rather avoid that pain than walk around wincing all day.
It's pandemonium! It's near the end of the semester. My ex basically states that he wants to go back out with me, I'm considering giving him a trial run, I have four papers due, I have to go take my senior photos in about 45 minutes, I have a 50,000 word novel to write... the list goes on. Luckily, my internship is nearly over; when I come back from Thanksgiving break I won't have to go trekking all the way over to Nelson Hall every morning - and back. I walked so much, it was like Lord of the Rings.
I have honestly never seen that word by itself. It seems like it always requires some kind of adjective before it: birth pang, hunger pang... when I saw the word by itself I didn't even know it was a word. It's like those people who are afraid to stay single. When they find out they are alone, they don't think they look right by themselves, and they don't feel right until they find another significant other. I am one of those words that looks right by itself, and does not need adjectives. Just like the word "unique". I'm so special!
Pants Off (Matthew)
I think I'll go ahead and admit it. I'm a virgin. I'm a sixteen year old boy and I'm still a virgin. That's practically a curse in Jekuvia High. According to some of my friends, I should get laid right away. They're going so far as to hire me a stripper, but I hope that's all in jest. I just haven't found the right girl - and I don't think I have anyone in mind. My friends joke that I haven't hit puberty yet. Believe me, I have. It's not fun having monster size zits on picture day.
Paper Plane (X)
Every time someone flies a paper plane in class, I grab it out of the air and rip it up. I hate things flying around my head; whether it's a mosquito, a paper plane, or just aimless thoughts. The last person who threw a paper plane got my fist in his face. I have no patience for stupidity. I'm in school for eight hours to waste time, and I don't want my wasted time to be filled with petty annoyances. The next time someone fucks with me, my fist is going all the way through their head.
Pardon My French (Levi)
I get very impatient with the customers at work. I don't understand how some people can be so irrational over fast food. They'll curse at me because a new employee did something wrong with their order. That's not really my problem, but I deal with it. Some of these people need some serious anger management classes. It's crazy with the kind of things they say. I don't even know some of the words they use to curse me or my employees out. I know I'm the manager, but that doesn't mean I have a thousand eyes.
I have never been to an actual party where there was drinking. I don't even think I'd want to drink. I'm not that type of person. I keep hearing horror stories about people who get drunk and either do stupid things or have stupid things happen to them. I'm absolutely not that type at all. I'm the type who would carry around a glass of cranberry juice and pretend to be drunk, so I could look like a dumbass but still see who the real idiots are. People have also accused me of being high when I've never been, so...
It's been a long time since I've had passion, and I have to admit, I miss it. I actually do miss the passion, however much I hated it. I always knew that would be the thing I'd miss when I left the relationship. The passion was exhaustion, but at times it made me happy and confident. I have to become confident over the things that will get me somewhere, not the slime of worthless and vacuous passion (by the way, vacuous is my new favorite word). I realized that I need to lose more faith in that empty passion.
I want peace among my friends. If I had one wish, I wouldn't want world peace (as selfish as that is), I'd want peace among my friends. It's been so long since we could all sit at our lunch table and not argue. Those days are so few and far between, but I don't want to kick a friend out of my life just because they don't get along with my other friends. They all get along fine with me, but once they get together, there will be some violence. It's like a train wreck waiting to happen.
I love the colors of a pearl. They're not just white. If you look closely into a pearl, you can see so many different colors. Pearls are one of my favorite jewels because they're so enigmatic. I'm an artist, so when I see a pearl and draw it or take a picture, I can never capture the full artistry of one. It's like pearls can only be appreciated with the naked eye and not through any other lens. I wish I was born in June, so the pearl could be my birthstone, but nope. I'm a Virgo, baby.
Pen and Paper (Ricardo)
I hate writing. I rarely make better than a C in my English classes. One of my English teachers told me that I remind him of a character in some book by William Faulkner. The character is really good with math and he's analytical. I am like that. When I do work, I like precision and when it's construction or some kind of engineering, I need precise measurements. I can never just operate on things that aren't concrete or that are all subjective, like English. My mind likes tangible things, things that can be seen objectively.
Penny For Your Thoughts (Rachel)
I'm pretty sure Ben Franklin said that. He also said "A penny saved is a penny earned." I wonder if he said anything else about pennies. It's just a few days after Thanksgiving and I'm feeling sick. I'm sick of school and I can't wait until I can get out, be hired by a newspaper somewhere and start writing stories. I'll get to see interesting things as they happen and make them known. I'll get to see my name on by-lines. Maybe I'll get to go to other countries and write there... we'll see.
Perfect Blue (Rita)
The perfect blue is the sky in California, after the fog goes away. It is the blue of a summer day that is in the seventies to the eighties. I remember lying under that blue and just thinking, trying to remember the good things and leave out the bad. The perfect blue helps me to make things better. It gives me a fresh outlook that I need to withstand the days. Sometimes I like to read under that perfect blue, but it has to be a happy book. Sad books are only for days of pure gray.
I love my pets! I was watching the national dog show the other night and laughing at the lame jokes the commentators were making. I don't think people should breed dogs, especially when there are so many unwanted in shelters. I think that what PETA says is true: every time someone breeds a "name brand" dog, there is one in a shelter that dies. A lot of purebred dogs are actually very sickly from bad breeding practices. It's nice to see dog shows once in a while, but what a dog is really worth is the personality, not the looks.
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