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A Mystical Leaf of Sufi Afro Zen
My dream recall has been quite vivid in these past few days.
As I record the dream in ink and typed keyboarded letters I realize that part of the process involves remembering details about the dream.
What was said?
What was she wearing?
Where was I?
What street was I on?
The ideal came to me,
'carry this state of mind in the so called waking world.'
I talk silently to myself and narrate what's taking place.
I was standing at a bus stop waiting for the bus to come, and then I saw a woman in black say something.......
If you want to be a good poet, then you have to be willing to commit suicide by drowning yourself in the ocean of languages, symbols, and willing to swallow a bottle of zillionth words all at once.
Hopefully you will overdose and find yourself being whisked away by a conglomerate of alphabets and investigated by clauses and paraphrases.
Nothing has to rhyme anymore.
Make intellectuals look stupid in the presence of grandeur simplistic grandiose complications.
He stripped the words until they were naked and left them out in the sun to dry, then blew them closer to Venus' happiness.
I cannot over emphasize enough the importance of carrying out awareness on a day to day basis.
Awareness of the present moment, the various sensations on your skin and body, the fact that you are breathing, aware of your energy in motiion; emotion.
Aware of the ground you're walking on, and those tiny green plants that manage to grow in the cracks and the sounds of your bones crackling as you take each step.
Aware of the people around you, the smells and scents in the air, the fly in the window glimmering greens and golds buzzing and zigzagging away.
That anytime you do something because you feel like you have to do it, and it's not done from the heart, then you have just become a slave.
We are slaves to our jobs, to our bosses whom we fake smile to.
We can even become slaves to our children if we give in to their whims, though we know a certain thing may not be in their best interest. Like watching cartoons all day and night long.
The question is how do we escape these aspects of slavery.
By first freeing our minds from our many attachments and expectations?
Waiting patiently for the many mystical feelings experienced in the past while forgetting that those mystical states from the past should not be sought for in the present moment.
Furthermore, don't make the grave mistake of putting that label on an experience you had while neglecting what you're experiencing now.
The essence of the mystical states of mind and consciousness cannot be categorized or given a name or a title unless you want to cause mass confusion and separation from the cosmic whole.
With that being said while lying down I breathe momentarily while staring at the beige ceiling above.
After having the remainding fragmented pieces of my left upper molar removed, I was incapicitated with the ability to talk. This is because I had to bite down on a gauze pad to prevent the large amounts of blood, now flowing out of my gums like a small fountain.
Not being able to speak felt good to me.
Being born as a mute should not be seen necessarily as a handicap.
Oftentimes when we do speak, it is based on senseless speech.
So when I found myself writing on pads of paper and using hand signals, I felt true power.
I've read and heard this question on several occasions.
"Where do you see yourself in five years from now?"
It's a good question, because five years is not a real long time if you really think about it.
When I ask myself that question I try to be as practical as possible, while realizing at the same time, that I have no power over forces and powers that are greater than me.
Forces and powers that are attributed to the Supreme Being, and our ultimate destination in time called death.
How you get from A to Z is the Question.....
Just as I was accepted I was released from the company I worked for. I think the dungeon is a better word for it.
I sat at their lopsidded philosophical table and listened to their reasons I had to go.
Resign or get fired.......?
During Asr a river flowed from my eyes as a part of my life had ended, but as I heard Netsanet's voice singing from Ethiopia I knew there was a beginning.
I listened to more sacred vibrations from the Middle East and East Africa.
In the evening I was enveloped by the purplish violet contemplative sunset.
The fact that there was power in color lied in the fact when the red blanket from Mexico with tribal horizontal stripes of greens, yellows, and whites, wrapped me securely until I dozed off into the dream world.
Colors comprise of vibratons or frequencies where each color has its own vibration or rate of energy in motion.
A world of electrical impulses, and transmissions of give and receive.
Receive and give.
Down up and so on.
What was more complex, yet simple was the circle that broke the cycle and became a mystic spiral.
Today was officially my last
day. I was successfully assassinated morally, and how do you properly say goodbye to someone who you were so accustomed to saying goodmorning and hello?
Everyone put on their funny looking smilling face masks and said words like
"all the best wishes," "goodbye,"
"see you later."
I felt very uncomfortable.....
When I walked out the front door the winds greeted me with a genuine and sincere greeting which blew all the shackles off my imprisoned spirit.
The trees opened their arms to me.
The crow brothers and sisters promised to avenge the injustice.
I went to Deli France for a latte and sat inside the coffeeshop, while working on my own Arabic and Indonesian homework. Suprised how the words
had completely different meanings in Indonesian and Spanish.
Still contemplating the fact that I don't have a job now. Even if I have a small nest egg, I don't want to get to complacent.
I read a few pages of
Qualities of a Good Muslim Wife.
I think all Muslim women should read this book.
Took my daughter out to cycle. She's not ready to have her training wheels removed yet.
It feels good on one level to not be obligated to return to the job I formerly worked for. It also feels bad not having one.
It's not enjoyable to go job searching, to make negotiations as to what your salary will be, which in most cases you reluctantly agree to the lesser salary for the sake of the job, and bringing in some income.
Deep down within me is an inner voice that says
'do what you love, the money will follow.'
What do you love?
Love is not what you think, but what what you know.
The phrase "do what you love the money will follow," should not be misinterpreted to mean that we should seek to do what we love with the expectation of some big fat check in return.
If you truly love doing something, then you will do it regardless to whether or not you will get compensated for it.
Furthermore, money can't buy true love, since true love is priceless.
Money in its essence is worthless. We take money as being real as an agreement that it's real.
But real money is like the money in the game Monopoly.
Pieces of paper.....
I am bored.
As I say this I ask myself the question; "
what is boredom?"
For me boredom is the result of feeling as though I have nothing left to do, and if there is things to do, I find myself either to lazy to do them or find the activity not interesting.
Maybe laziness is the twin brother of boredom. In times of feeling boredom is the perfect time to ask ourselves questions.
Questions like what would you prefer to be doing?
Are you aware of the present moment?
Have you considered deep meditation?
Have you analyzed your thoughts?
When you feel on someone's body, you don't feel the sensations that they feel.
When I reflected on this more deeply I realized that besides being human, we were also in simplest terms, sensory organs or sensory perceptions.
We are constantly experiencing all kinds of outer stimuli, as well as inner.
Those of us who are more sensitive to this energy are called psychic.
Many times our sensory organs take control of us because our daily life consists of gratifying them.
Sensory organs such as the tongue, what our eyes see, ears hear, stomach desires and body and sexual urges.
My mother in law's sister died today. I feel like if death were an option for me now, I would take it.
In the meantime I'm still jobless and I've told myself that my next job has to be better.
Better meaning a higher salary. But then again, I tell myself, that it's not a job that I want.
What I want is an exodus from this planet.
The only thing I need to do is just pack my bags and get into my spaceship and everything will be ok.
It's far easier to run from difficulty than facing it.
I could not help but to think that the three most practiced religions; Islam, Judaism, and Christianity all expect the return of a Messiah type figure. One who would return at the end of the world to end all evil and wickedness and restore peace on Earth once and forever.
Almost everyone agrees that everything in the scriptures regarding the end times are here now.
However, no one can agree as to what the Messiah would look like or the Mahdi of the Muslims.
So many have come claiming messiahship with no end results.
Only one can be the Messiah.
I had finally come to realize why I am always being harassed each time I go to the United Snakes. One is because of my name.
Two is because my name has probably been entered into some terroist database without my knowledge, for potential terroists.
I learned that after 911, Home Security, and after thousands of citizens were turned into spies, all kinds of people names went on this database.
Even people who were not Muslims.
You could be classified as a terroist for carrying a map book, being against the war in Iraq, or not liking the President's policies.
Now my wife knows that I don't have a job.
I was going to tell her eventually; but who is really eager to tell anyone that they lost their job?
She found out by calling my job assuming that I would be there, eventhough I never told her what my schedule was.
When she asks me what my schedule is, she makes me feel like I'm a little boy and she is my mother.
Did you brush your teeth?
Don't forget to wash behind your ears.
Now I'm explaining to her how I was set up by the demonic managers.
One trademark of our Prophets is their trademark for having so many children. With the exception of Isa (Jesus) there is no known history on rather or not he had children or not.
Da Vinci Code.
I'm writing about this because I'm quite sure that during the times of the Prophets, there was no idea conceived about birth control or contraception.
Today that has all changed. Now you can even see genocide practiced, where the destruction of a race of people is sought because of the color of their skin or their religion.
How did everything suddenly go so wrong?
If you're reading something and don't understand the subject or the word, don't keep going forward blindly, pretending that you understand, when you really don't.
You should make every effort to understand, because ignorance never pays for anything that is worth your while.
Governmnets use the ignorance of the people to stay in power, and then perpetuate ignorance as though it is knowledge.
Ignorance is equivalent to living in a house with no lights because you don't know where the light switch is.
Not knowing is the main reason that many of us are in the conditions that we're in.
Are massages part of the art of the Kama Sutra?
I say yes, since massages are an aspect of pleasure.
If a massage is done properly, it can energize you on all kinds of levels. I am a witness to this.
I remember once going for a massage in Venice Beach, and after the massage was completed I felt like I was literally floating in the air, even while I was walking on solid concrete.
It felt like my body was filled with cosmic energy, as all the tension in my body was taken away.
Massages......the art of bliss?
What is wrong?
Why do I feel this aching feeling inside of my heart, as though it is on the verge of destruction?
As I searched for the answer, I realized that the feeling was due to my thoughts.
Everything about our make, from head to toe is all connected, just as a car consists of different parts, yet all those parts are connected in order for the car to function.
If you take out one thing, like the engine or radiator, the car will seize to function.
If the body is stung by a bee, the entire body aches.
I had just finished my prayers and was feeling complete peace, until I heard her yelling in the dining room. I went out to see what it was about. She was yelling about some milk that spilled by the little one. Spilled milk is not a big deal to me. Everyone makes mistakes.
She kept barking her fierce orders while sitting down making the little girl cry. I was wondering why she didn't offer to help her clean it up.
Then she started barking about missing rags.
I guess she forgot that they were used to clean up some vomit.
The Earth path.
Path to strength, sturdiness and steel.
The path to solidity, and firmness like a rock.
First you must sink your roots in the Earth before you decide to start flying around through space with your spirit and soul.
So you must be as hard as a crystal, with a clear mind, vibrating in all the bright colors of the rainbow.
Red, orange, yellow, blue, green and purples.
Astral travel some more after seeing the face and pyramids on Mars, go inside of the core of the Sun and discover an unexplored Universe, see Black people on Pluto.
I made another journey to a place I had never been before to collect a certificate that was rightfully mine, but my former employer refused to give.
Several of his employees complained about this.
When I made some phone calls, I was suggested to call the police and make a police report, because the certificate is my rightful property. I didn't think that calling the police was really necessary, over a piece of paper.
However, without that certificate, you can't work with jobs that involve security.
It turns out that the place I went, don't provide duplicate copies of certificates.
I have absolutely no desire to work.
I still can't believe that I lost my job.
They gave me the option to quit or to resign.
It was just like telling a prisoner, "no matter what, we will follow through with your execution."
"Are you going to really kill me?" asked the prisoner.
"Yes, but we will give you an option," said the fat manager.
"You can choose electricution, hanging, lethal injection, or death by the firing squad. Which one do you choose?"
Either way I go I am still the loser in the end.
Death is better than persecution.
You don't have to necessarily get on your knees to pray to the Supreme Being of the Universe or go to some particular building or holy place.
What is prayer really about?
Prayer is about communion, and being in tuned with the most powerful force in the Universe.
Prayer is an act of communion.
In every second of our lives we could be in a state of communion with the Supreme Being simply by focusing our mind on Him.
Reflecting on His force and power, His attributes, His omnipotence and omnipresence, and the list goes on without end.
I noticed that quite often when people talk about God, they speak about Him as this wrathful, angry, and vengeful God.
Rarely do I hear about God being spoken in regards to His attributes of Love, Mercy and Compassion, unless you are referring to the Sufi's or mystics, you will find their literature full of references on how much God loves His creation and especially those who seek to be closer to Him.
So where did the anger and wrath come from?
Is it because someone pissed Him off, eventhough it is said that God has control over all things?
She called me a lazy bum.
She had no ideal that I was going to start my serious job hunts on the 2nd of April.
I decided to write her a letter expressing everything I had been holding inside of my heart about our relationship. It wasn't intended to make her feel bad, but my good intentions backfired on me.
She blew up like the recent volcano in Indonesia and the recent tsunami in South East Asia.
When she finished talking to me about things from 2003 she made me feel like a cockroach with no wings to fly away.
When you plan to divorce, it's not something that you just say and then wash your hands clean.
In Islam you must go to the Shariah Court first, and then you have to submit a reason why you want to divorce.
From here, counselling is given as to how you can resolve the issues. If that does not work, then you have to go through a waiting period which could be as long as three to six months.
In Islam divorce is frowned upon because it breaks up families which are the basic unit of any society or any civillization.
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