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10/01 Direct Link
No more Mr. Nice Guy.

I realized that I had given her too much freedom and now she had become a rebel without a cause. A rabid wild stallion on a furious rampage.

Secondly I realized her level of importance to me in this order.

Internet and her blogs.

Television. Which I think is her real husband.

Newspapers and magazines.

Going to her mothers house.

Her friends.

Me.

Is this the essence of love?

Putting material things first and living things last.

Well I'm not an object, and as far as love is concerned, my heart is devoid of it.
10/02 Direct Link
Writing a book is like writing a journal to a degree, except that when you write a journal you tend to be more expressive and feel less restricted, since you know that no one else will read it except for you.

Whereas in a book, finishing it could take months, even years.

I came across a journal I wrote in 1998 and realized that eventhough a publisher probably would not publish it, it was still priceless.

I asked myself how do I fill in the gaps for the many years I wasn't writing.

My answer was to write an autobiography.
10/03 Direct Link
Crows have a social order and a hierarchy. Just as wolves have a social order and hierarchy, each functioning in the role that it was created in.

How did I ever lose the cosmic states of cosmic consciousness?

By forgetting the most simplest of truths. Cosmic Consciousness is not just in the mind, but in everything you see, touch, feel, hear, experience and so on adinfinitum.

When you're not aware you become entangled in whatever comes your way.

Awareness frees you from the web of illusion leading you to the higher states of consciousness and the higher states of truth.
10/04 Direct Link
If you ever feel like an outcast in society or a stranger among the many, it's because you feel separate from people and feel that you are different from everybody else, when in fact you are one and the same. At least on the organic and subatomic level.

However, if after realizing your unity with all the people in your immediate surroundings and you still feel like a stranger among the many, then more than likely you are from another planet.

My eyes cannot help themselves when it comes to the beauty of Allah's creation and my inner illuminated intuition.
10/05 Direct Link
The path to self mastery is a slow and arduous path, where anyone can easily just give up.

Today's meditation lasting 20 to 25 minutes brought me a deep and serene peace.

It's good to make plans for the day, but it's much better to just allow your day to unfold naturally and to allow your actions to be spontaneous and carefree, like an autumn leaf blowing in the wind.

Your past mistakes and wrong doings are just that. The past. So it did not do any good to torture yourself with your past which was effecting your healing process.
10/06 Direct Link
After having my share of milk, and honey, from heaven and grasped forbidden fruits I spread my seeds across the galaxy which shined like bright stars. I let passion loose as she had been pent up in a cage for so long.

After being released she danced an erotic dance that brought about an entranced state of consciousness to my cozy mind, all snug into this tingly state of static electricity all over my body.

The smile of a thousand Buddhas was produced with no needs for a director. I was the participant of an all to real erotic dream.
10/07 Direct Link
I have a real good eye for true beauty.

I didn't need to go to the movies to see today's attractions. Like that beautiful old Chinese lady who came out from the Serangoon MRT Station with a smile that made my heart feel like a warm fire.

Or how about that beautiful Indian lady I saw coming down the escalator at the supermarket. She had an aura that brightened the surrounding darkness and wore a long red and white dress that complemented the fact that I am fasting.

One glance from her and my spirit soared beyond our galactic Sun.
10/08 Direct Link
I was standing on the train reading the Holy Quran and minding my own business, until a bald headed Nazi skin head got on the train with cold blue eyes with a soul full of evil and darkness.

On second thought I don't think he even had a soul. I guess he thought I was supposed to be scared of him because he kept looking at me as though he expected me to bow my head down.

But I don't think so Mr. KKK. I follow the laws of Moses.

Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.

Try me.....
10/09 Direct Link
In the morning she had such a mean look on her face that I felt as though my heart had been scratched by razor sharp cat claws. How could she be so cruel?

To my suprise, later on in the morning she smiled before saying goodbye, with a smile on her face that turned the tides of my love into blossoms and a strength so tender.

But then my paradoxical mind asked the question, "is this some kind of cat and mouse game, or a game of please and tease, hide go seek, or what?"

I'm not ready for this.
10/10 Direct Link
I was waiting for the bus and managed to step out of the box, thanks to the help of fasting.

Before this I was saying how my life did not feel as lucid and real as I would like for it to be. But what does it take to feel more alive in a world that is not.

Do you do something extremely way out, something you love, or engage yourself fully in the present moment, or a combination of the above three?

I enjoy the natural states of consciousness where it seems like I'm dreaming but I am not.
10/11 Direct Link
People have a tendency to have a backward concept as to listing the importance of people in society.

If you are rich, you are automatically put on the top of the list.

The more poorer you are, the more people look down upon you and forget about you.

I watched the garbage collectors pickup trash that other idiots dropped at the bus stop and I watched them empty the trashcans. I had a lot of respect for them, because I realized what this world would be like if we didn't have them to keep the trashcans emptied and sidewalks clean.
10/12 Direct Link
I still can't believe that the Sleeping Giant claims that the gamelan music I was listening to had a Hindu influence, used to invoke shaitan, according to his Muslim grandfather when he was a little boy.

Gamelan music is the ancient traditional music of Indonesia, where instruments such as metallaphones, xylophones, drums, gongs, bamboo flutes, bowed and plucked strings are played together like an orchestra. But the music is very traditional and peaceful.

I mentioned to the Sleeping Giant that this music was also played at Malay Muslim weddings and when silat (a martial arts style of fighting) was performed.
10/13 Direct Link
It is an error to associate your emotions as being your emotions. The fear feeling in your chest is just a feeling and nothing more. The moment you say I+ feel+ fear, you automatically become the sensation.

Theoretically speaking, emotions are not much different from the clouds. They come and they go.

Happiness shouldn't be held on to either because like the song says "happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion.

You get your new car and become happy until the bills come in.

You become happy about your new marriage until your wife makes you angry.
10/14 Direct Link
I didn't think much about it until today that yesterday was Friday the 13th, the day of dread for some.

Nothing dreadful happened to me yesterday, but it did for the housekeeping girl from China.

She thought no one would ever find out that she had found one of the guests wallets in the hostel. When asked if she found a wallet in the hostel she flatly denied it.

After the manager viewed the CCTV and after the Singapore police department did their investigation, the housekeeping girl from China turned in the stolen items and was deported back to China.
10/15 Direct Link
I was reading different blogs here and there tonight and came across a blog called hanginwithmichele where she mentioned a site called NaNoWriMo which stands for National Novel Writers' Month.

Basically starting on the 1st of November until the 30th of November you must write at least 50,000 words.

It's not really a contest, but more of a creative challenge to just write whatever, but you have to at least make it seem like a novel.

After reading about it at www.nanowrimo.org I decided I would give it a try. This would be my chance to write the procrastinated novel.
10/16 Direct Link
Prayer beads and roses, prayers throughout the morning, day, evening and night, every day and every night without ceasing.

Prayers echoed off of walls and vibrated throughout the Earth expanding into the Universe, heard by every creature in existence.

The heart expanding with each verse, enveloping the reciter, tokens of humility getting discounts on the real prices to pay.

Leaves in the garden.

Any garden, any leaf, it's fine as long as it is green and growing.

And if it is dead, know that it's evolving.

Silence for moments at a time, awakened by thunder, soothed by remembrance of Allah.
10/17 Direct Link
Relationships just don't happen over night. Even before 2 people talk, several things will happen.

One of the first things to happen is eye contact. Once you get continous eye contact with the opposite sex then you know that they are interested.

Taking things to another level involves flirting or body language signals. It can be anything from a smile, a certain type of walk or posture.

Then the ice is broken with verbal language, with a few spoken words like good morning, how are you, I could not help but to notice you, how about a cup of coffee.
10/18 Direct Link
When I went to the shopping mall today to go to a bookstore, so that I could purchase No Plot No Problem by Chris Baty I could not stand seeing all the fake faces in there.

People who wore their 'I am important faces' and 'I'm just too damn pretty to be even spoken to faces,' really ate me up inside.

I really hated to see the 'I'm dressed better than you and my shoes are more shinier than your shoes faces' too.

I was so glad to get out of that place, which was like a real wax museum.
10/19 Direct Link
A poet because I love words. The words of many languages and different places, and how can I shape the world with words. Let me count the ways.

An artist because I love to draw and paint, especially with oils and acryllics, and because for some reason spreading and mixing colors on a palette or canvas awes me.

A lover because love comes easily when it comes to the creation of my Creator and how I see Him in all things.

A romancer because I love the women all across the globe and often wonder why my name isn't Solomon.
10/20 Direct Link
The deeds of man will be accounted for and for every action there is a reaction. If someone slaps you in the face real hard, you will react. If someone tries to take your house you will react.

You don't have to have a religion in order for the Universal law of karma to take its effects. Rather you believe or don't believe, or even if you are an atheist, the law of karma is definite.

I'm sure there is plenty of Universal laws in effect in our Universe which applies to every living thing.

Give love and receive love.
10/21 Direct Link
I slept on the floor willingly despite the fact that I had a bed to sleep on.

I had this weird dream where me and some other guy had turned into vampires. I wound up at some sort of research lab where some staff members dressed in white were trying to stop a mad man who was so desperate to drink wolf blood from some machine.

Then some lady wearing glasses told her staff "no, it's okay, let him drink if he wants to."

He put his head in her bosom and she stroked his head like a little baby.
10/22 Direct Link
Before going to work tonight I went to Starbucks to get a grande latte. The place was crowded inside and sounded like the sound of 10,000 people drowning in water.

Listening to all the voices as 1 sound sounded like Drak language, like on that movie called Enemy Mine.

Before I left work this morning I was filled with stories by the Sleeping Giant about things that go bump in the night.

"I'm telling you," he said, "you don't know about the floating head I saw and the pontianak."

The pontianak is like this demon ghost woman with long hair.
10/23 Direct Link
It is the last day of Ramadhan today being 30 Ramadhan 1427. I have completed reading the entire Quran which brought me real satisfaction.

Some people did not bother to pick the Quran up at all. That is between them and their God.

I never really realized that other scriptures revealed to the prophets also fell within the month of Ramadhan. This is why as Muslims we don't just say the month of Ramadhan, but the Holy month of Ramadhan.

This is the month that the Supreme Being out of His Mercy reaches out to man and offers him guidance.
10/24 Direct Link
In the scriptures of the Quran and the Bible in regards to Yusuf and the kings' wifes' lustful desire for Yusuf is a lesson to be learned.

Some people don't know that she ripped his shirt off after many attempts to try to seduce him. It's obvious that Yusuf was not paying too much attention to her or giving in to her flirtatious and seductive attempts.

So when she ripped the shirt off of his back, this was out of mad desperation. At this point she didn't even care if her husband knew or not.

Women can be like this.
10/25 Direct Link
She became a mad demon again because the little fairy had broke the ironing board while playing with her Barbie dolls. She yelled at the little fairy and told her to lock all her toys and jewelry from Fairy Land in the dark dungeon where all the demons roamed.

I could not take it anymore. My eyes turned green and my muscles began expanding and my skin turned green.

"Aggghhhh!!!!," I roared, louder than a lion. "No!!!" I told the woman possessed by the demon.

I grabbed her by her arms and loud thunder sounded.

It was a long battle.
10/26 Direct Link
I didn't cancel my appointment at Tan Tock Seng Hospital today nor did I bother to go. They had milked me enough of my money without being able to give me a diagnosis to my off and on numbness in my right leg.

So now I'm putting my faith in the Healer of all healers, and allowing nature to run its own course.

If I die, I just die. If my leg has to be amputated, that wouldn't be a good thing to write about in my 100 words.

Yeah, the doctor cut off my right ball and leg today.
10/27 Direct Link
The breezes blew gently on my face and up my tree trunked legs as I wore my grey jubah in route to Masjid Istiqamah to attend the Jumuah prayers.

The khutbah was on intelligence and knowledge. The seeker of knowledge was better off than the praying man without knowledge.

A brown butterfly flew across the galaxy just now.

The woman from the forest touched my face with her soft cold hands. "You healed my foot when I slipped on the ice," she whispered through the winds to me.

Large leaves dropped from the trees and floated softly like a dream.
10/28 Direct Link
It was my first day of returning to work after having five days off for the Id festivities. It suddenly dawned on me that I did not truly love my job as I tried to lead myself into believing. With this realization I realized that I would not be satisfied in life until I was doing what I trully loved.

Writing, drawing, painting and interacting with genuine people which did not require me to compromise my authentic true self.

So if I didn't smile, people wouldn't be offended by it or label me as some mean person who never smiled.
10/29 Direct Link
For the most part my entire day was a lazy day. I wondered where does all my money go, because after paying all my bills, I have nothing to show for it.

No clothes, brand new shoes, or extra amenities. I needed to become my own financial consultant, accountant, and bookkeeper.

Before I left off to work I listened to 'Back Together Again' by Roberta Flack, and felt that people who were my age during the 60's were benefited.

I could not help, but to wonder what my parents did then and how they probably also enjoyed this song too.
10/30 Direct Link
Initially I was excited about going to Hong Kong, but had a sudden change of mind later.

I was thinking that the amount for the trip was not worth the amount of days I'd be there.

The closest I've been to Hong Kong is its airport in transit to Singapore.

I told my wife to cancel the trip, but the agent claimed she could not because they couldn't cancel our hotel stay in Hong Kong which was a lie.

I'm sure the agents get commisssions for each booking they make, and I'm sure she didn't want to lose her sale.
10/31 Direct Link
In the Haunted Mansion movie; Jim (starring Eddie Murphy) had finally given up in trying to find his way into the mansion after all his attempts had failed, so he thought.

The headless ghost with the green face said "you tried and you failed, you tried and you failed. The biggest mistake you ever made was not trying again.

This statement could be applied to our day to day lives.

I was thinking about the many inventors throughout history and how their inventions would not have been a success if they had simply given up on their ideals and visions.