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11/01 Direct Link
Sometimes if we want to learn something we have to learn it on our own.

I was never taught about the Rastafarians in school or the history of their developments. I didn't know that captive slaves had escaped from Spaniards into the mountains to form a community of their own in Jamaica.

There is a similar story like this but it was in Brazil. About slaves who escaped from the Portuguese into the Brazilian mountains to form a community of their own.

Even Cuba has its rich history which involved Africans who had escaped to maintain their freedom.

Histories denied.
11/02 Direct Link
I write my entries daily but type them weekly, sometimes in two weeks time or three weeks time. I must be really dedicated to this. Who is it for? Do I have an audience who does not respond? Maybe it's for my own satisfactions sense I enjoy writing so much; putting alphabets together to form words, sentences and eventually this.

"Will there ever be an end to this," asked Barbara Walters?

"Will you ever get a new wig," I replied.

That's when Oprah Winfrey walked in asking where the Yum Yum doughnuts were.

Exactly where you left them.

Your stomach.
11/03 Direct Link
Entrapped in a spiders web, six legs and all; poor little dragon fly. But where was the spider and why did he abandon his post?

You don't know how to pray and you don't respect the ceremonies of the people so how could you possibly teach me anything about the world we live in. Furthermore your mind is closed like a locked door and you refuse the key because it is coming from what you call a savage hand.

You don't believe that the insects, planets, stars, plants, birds, reptiles and fish pray to the same Being as we do.
11/04 Direct Link
The leviathan within does not like the heat or the fire that this fast produces. And who rears its ugly heads upon this table? Is it my lower desires; who each have their own personality? Have they become deities not worthy of worship? They are like wild animals.

My mind strives to control them. There can be no peace in a home where disobedient children are running about.

We will not submit to the higher mind they chant in unison.

For a few days they are denied the pleasure of food and self gratification and slowly began to understand Mind.
11/05 Direct Link
In this third night of power I prayed and prayed until my eyes felt numb. The prayers that were performed were not your "down my lamey down to sleep" type prayers. I didn't sleep until after the sunrise.

I went into the Mosque at the wee morning hours. The time when no one is standing at bus stops and birds have not started chirping. I was a feeling a religious experience which may be equaled to a mellow type high.

It feels strange being in a foreign country.

These geometrical patterns don't look the same.

I'm going to sleep now.
11/06 Direct Link
I never really contemplated having a maid in my home or that I would even need one. The thoughts I have of a complete stranger living in my home are not all that positive. A person could flip at the drop of a dime.

My thoughts I have are almost equivalent to the thoughts I would have about picking up a hitchhiker on the side of some road. Then how do I know I'm not hiring some psychopath lunatic who acts like a humble sweet loving dove, but is really a Heckyll and Jeckyll. I'm a bit skeptical about people.
11/07 Direct Link
I watched and observed from the background. I saw aspects of the social ladder. I saw people who were completely ignorant on almost all subjects, except for partying, getting drunk, high, and having promiscuous sexual relationships.

The other groups were those with various levels of education and those with wealth and abundance of material possessions and felt above others who they assumed were lesser than them.

Life and the essence of its principles are far more valuable than most people think. To be alive, truly alive is dynamic. Life is experienced at its greatest levels when you're genuinely Self Realized.
11/08 Direct Link
It's easy for a person who has never experienced racism to say that it does not exist.

You will not find anywhere in history where black people referred to themselves as Negroes. The term itself is highly offensive to black people all around the globe. If you go back further you will find that black people never called themselves Africans or the continent Africa "Africa."

So these were all terms devised and made up by who? The answer is already known.

The Red Man never called themselves Indians or the land they were living in America.

What did Columbus discover?
11/09 Direct Link
I broke my fast on the bus with a big fat Jordan date.

Watched more depressing news about Bush's war on terror and more military strikes on the Fallujah. One Amerikkkan soldier has called Iraq a revisitation of Vietnam. Things are not looking better eventhough so called power was handed over to a pseudo Iraqi government.

I can't believe that Bush won the elections legally. There were so many odds against him. The elections had to be rigged just like the Gore versus Bush were rigged.

There was a George that began America and a George who will end it.
11/10 Direct Link
Smiling is a difficult process for me to do, because to me smiling has to be something that is genuine. I see smiling faces almost everyday, finding myself trying to discern the fake smiles from the real ones. Some people are moved by smiles. To some a smile is like a gesture or an offering for some sweet candy. But what's the real motive? Is it to make people think you are a nice person? People who don't smile are considered mean and impolite, when in truth they could really be down to earth type people. Smile now cry later.
11/11 Direct Link
I didn't know that Yasser Arafat had died until I received an SMS about it. I believe he died under mysterious circumstances and that he was possibly assassinated through the use of poison.

My ex calls me at three in the morning about some pictures from our past relationship. Do you know what time it is? Do you even care?

I think the real reason she called was to hear my voice again even if it meant we would get into an argument. We are not married anymore remember? We are not mediating to make things work anymore.

So sorry.
11/12 Direct Link
It is not that I have to wash dishes, it is simply something I enjoy doing. When I wash dishes I often feel relaxed and at ease like a meditation. I feel more present in the moment I think it may mainly be the fact that I want clean dishes the next time I eat or drink. I catch my subtle thoughts and relax my hands in the water being careful not to cut my hands with the butcher knife lying inside like a shark in an ocean. I rinse suds away from the dishes; save crusty pots for later.
11/13 Direct Link
We were a group of four sitting around one big plate in which we all shared in the spirit of true brotherhood. As a gesture of brotherliness he grabbed a handful of red mee hoon goreng and put it inside of my green bowl. I smiled and thanked him. Then he took pieces of fried bread and tore it in pieces and placed in my bowl. I smiled eventhough I didn't ask for it. He placed more mee hoon goreng in my bowl eventhough I gestured to him that I wanted no more. I prayed he wouldn't put more food.
11/14 Direct Link
Id Mubarak!

Selamat Hari Raya!

Maaf zahir dan batin.

Today marked the day of feasting and celebration and the end of fasting. It would mark a day of seeking forgiveness and being together with family.

All of my family members are so far away, distant, in the past and in the future beyond reach,
like the stars.
And my ancient galaxy whose city shines strong formations and foundations of solitude with intrinsic unity of the shores of yore.
In these eyes and beyond the souls mystery
of whose ancestors seem long lost and gone,
yet near to this Planet Mercury.
11/15 Direct Link
It feels good not having to go to my job today. The only days I feel a true sense of freedom. Not having to answer to any nonsense or put up with any Bush.

Bull Shiaaaaaaaatt!

No one wants to see the bushido warrior buried deep within come out of me.

"Go straight Samurai on those fools," he said. "Chopping fools up left and right".

Regain your composure by smelling the roses and coming out of your sanctuary to greet the Sun, and the strange people who look so different after being in my temple for so long; simply meditating.
11/16 Direct Link
I spoke to Noor today before my lunch break about the border at San Diego and Tijuana where Mexico meets. Just then it poured down hard like it does in Mississippi.

I talked about how much of the U.S. is really Mexico and how many still refer to parts like California and Texas as simply MEXICO. Viva la raza!

She talked about Dubai and the Emirates and how gracious the government is to its citizens, plus the benefits of free education. One wonder as to why it must be so peaceful.

We talked about jellyfish and clean beach water too.
11/17 Direct Link
It is wrong to take your personal anger out on innocent little children who have nothing to do with why you're all messed up inside to begin with.

And don't get mad at me for defending the children either.

Do you remember when you were a child? Did you like being yelled at for every single thing like you were some type of animal? Children are human beings too.

Sometimes being silent can cause more harm than benefit. Some things really need to be known and cannot be hidden away and kept in the darkness.

Voice out what needs be.
11/18 Direct Link
Was there really some Indian woman waiting for me somewhere desperately like this Indian man said?

I had only two ideas. One was a young cleaner who cleaned windows at a Japanese restaurant and a travel agency and spoke Tamil.

The other worked in the office towers and spoke Hindi.

Both very quiet and humble yet I've never spoken to them. We have only exchanged glances and telepathic thoughts at one and another.

I went to sleep thinking about celibacy and how long could a person who was not a nun or a monk go without having sex or masturbating?
11/19 Direct Link
The dark brown butterfly laid motionless on the sidewalk. Its two wings clasped together like Buddha's hand in meditation. It had all the faith in the world and universe combined that it would not be stepped on. There was not one ounce of doubt in its being which made it more powerful than most people who are full of doubts every day.

Enlighten me.

I did not know that Hindi was the third largest language spoken in the world. Nor did I know that Mandarin was the second largest spoken language. Now I know; unless the web site was lying.
11/20 Direct Link
The thought came to my mind that I should write some sort of death letter for myself and carry it with me wherever I go.

I am not talking about a suicide letter.

A letter that would tell the truth about who I was, my beliefs and the things not to call me at the last sermon before I'm buried seven feet under the ground.

Japanese samurai were known to write death poems which were the summarization of their being or personality throughout their life time.

And no one knows the hour or the day of which their death comes.
11/21 Direct Link
Me and Azima sat on the steps where the Sun shines brightly and the grass is green and pretty.

I was calling my father for advice about recent events that had transpired in my marriage relationship.

It began to rain lightly on me and my daughter. The clouds moved at terrific speeds and the Sun continued to shine.

I took Azima to the playground and showed her various exercises at the jungle gym. I saw how she played with other children and realized it was not always so harmonious.

Later I took her to the imitation 7-11 to buy cookies.
11/22 Direct Link
"Oooooohhhh the Moon," she said and pointed it out in the South East Asian skies as we waited for the taxi cab. She asked me to pick her up, so I did and she rested her head on my shoulder.

The taxi arrived so she hugged me and salaamed mother. She thought we were getting in the taxi with her but to her downcast surprise we were not.

We could tell she was about to cry. She preferred to be with us.

I watched a nature program tonight; on how certain insects and animals help flowers pollinate and reproduce themselves.
11/23 Direct Link
On my bus ride home, I read a few chapters on writing and publishing a novel. I suddenly realized the possibility that my pre meditated novel may never become published. I asked myself the question if it was really worth the time and effort to attempt to type over 60,000 or more words and make a cheap bargain with a publisher. If I'm writing a novel for the hopes of making money then I shouldn't waste my time. If I want to write the novel for the joy of it; then yes.

What kind of writer says writing is boring?
11/24 Direct Link
I fell asleep while watching Japanese anime called the 12 Kingdoms. I love Japanese anime.

My friend SMSed me that her Japanese friend had converted to Islam. I never met her Japanese friend but was so happy for her.

I remember Brother Wallace 12 telling me about some Masters who meditated inside of crystals. Everything they needed was in the crystals and all these crystal masters do is just meditate. I don't know if this place is on Earth or not.

Who can sit and meditate for days at one sitting or even a few hours, breathing like the Universe?
11/25 Direct Link
Stereo typing is bad. Really bad.

It is like seeing a lion in the circus jump through a ring of fire and expecting that all lions are like this; until you go to the jungles of Africa and get your ass bitten off and body mauled to death.

I've been studying the Chinese here in Singapore and for awhile thought all Chinese were like this, until I met some Chinese who were not from Singapore. I'm glad I saw through certain uncertainties.

The Earth is wide and expansive and there are countless cultures and tribal groups I've never seen yet.
11/26 Direct Link
Alot of women are plain paranoid when the thought comes to mind of the possibility of another woman taking their man away. Maybe these women should really think about how they treat their man if they want to keep the man that they have.

This evening I took my first trip via train to the East Coast of this island. I hate taking the train more than I do the buses.

If it were up to me, I would just jump on a motorcycle, but I have no license or experience.

The entire journey turned out to be an adventure.
11/27 Direct Link
Once I get home I decide to take my daughter on a night walk for some down to earth Indian food. She walked, skipped, ran, sung and talked about getting on the airplane to see her grandmother and cousins.

I showed her the section where the Chinese cook kept the live crabs and frogs for cooking if anyone ordered it. The frogs eyes looked so big and their skin so slimy. How could anyone eat it?

On the way back home my daughter tries her stunt devil maneuver by trying to run out into traffic.

Are you crazy or what?
11/28 Direct Link
Making love before sunrise cannot be complete without a trip to the grocery store for some grape juice, granola bars, and the Sunday newspaper in a foreign language. I never forget the nice warm showers and then going back outside under the Sun's immaculate rays.

I can't believe I watched Sesame Street live today. It brought so many childhood memories back to me. The adults seemed to be more into the show. After the show was over, it thundered so loud that I was quite sure it was dooms day.

Checked my mail box, Immigration gives me some bad news.
11/29 Direct Link
I never paid much attention to other people's feet. The first thing that comes to mind with the word foot is funk.

But the more I observed people's feet including my own the more they began to look alien. Feet became some mutant growth of the human being.

I once read that we should actually have 6 toes on each foot and 6 fingers on each hand. But evolution changed all that.

I have complete doubt in the theory of evolution and Darwinism.

We should also have a visible third eye now called the pineal gland and angelic wings too.
11/30 Direct Link
"Where are you from?" they asked. "What is your ethnicity?"

"Who wants to know?" I responded. "Who do you work for?" I add, "Secret Service, KGB, CIA, FBI?" Who?! I ask angrily. "Do you have a dollar? Did you know it costs for information these days, and since I don't know you and you don't know me it's going to cost you."

They looked at me surprisingly and swore that they were just being friendly.

I could tell their intentions were not pure, so I blew Yoga flame fire on their asses, so they could taste their evil wicked aspirations.