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A Mystical Leaf of Sufi Afro Zen
I have no head. I am headless.
Everyone has a head except me. They have eyes, ears, nose and hair.
When I walk I only see parts of my arms and legs. My head has become everything that is around me.
My head is the cement I walk on, the blades of grass protruding out of the Earth, the palm trees swaying, the wooden door opening and closing, the bright Sun in the sky and the white clouds moving slowly in the sky, and these cars moving and non moving.
I look into a mirror.
Is this really my head?
Many people walked by it and did not even notice it. It was beyond their cares and interest.
I stepped up close to see what it was that seemed to be pinned on the see through glass outside the office building.
Upon closer examination, I realized it was a live green colored preying mantis. This marked the second preying mantis I've ever seen in real life. The first one I saw was in Colorado and proved to be twice as big as the one I saw today. The one in Colorado I saw years ago was definitely out of habitat.
Who wants a God that cannot be questioned?
I hear people say, "don't question God. Doesn't that limit Him?
If He is all Knowing and all Wise, then wouldn't a person be putting a limit on God by saying He can't be questioned?
That is almost like saying don't question Him, because he does not know. How would one ever learn if he never asked questions?
So I ask questions.
Why do we have to pray? Why do we have to strive to be righteous people? Why should we fear God and no other but Him?
Why are you asking?
"Don't waste your money gambling and hoping for the right numbers."
"But what if I guess the right numbers?"
"But what if you don't? It will prove to be a waste of your money. That is money that could have been used for your bus fare, or money used to feed a hungry man."
"That is true, but the temptations is so great. I could hit the jack pot and do so many things I've wanted to do in my life. Basic things. Get my teeth fixed, travel, remove the green scars on my body; feng shui my interior design."
Everywhere I look, I can see the manifestation of mathematics.
The architecture in buildings, automobiles, computers, and the power plants that distribute electricity to our homes.
But the mathematics of this world is limited.
No one has figured out the mathematics of the various pyramid structures all around the world.
The higher mathematics are the laws that this Universe operates on. How the planets rotate around the Sun and Galaxies rotate around other Galaxies. The mathematics of how a human being is made and his biological make up.
Then there is the magic of numbers correlated with trillions of alphabets.
We have become so comfortable with the names we have given objects and people that many of us would be horrified to give up the precious names and titles we know so well.
I was on the top deck of the bus tonight going home. I began removing the names of objects I saw and sounds that I heard until everything I saw and heard was something entirely different. For a few brief seconds I was in a completely different world.
Trees were no longer trees but something unknown. People were no longer people and sound was no longer sound.
Until I am completely silent and have become no more of this or that, I will always be trapped in this world.
This world is a world of names and titles that describe. With the descriptions come functions that one must fulfill to live up to the name or title.
So I am giving up my name, because my name consists of aspects of me that describe. I am giving back all the names to the individuals who have given there names to objects, plants, animals, various states of minds and planets.
I want to see more truthfully without snares.
I see you Mr. C.I.A man trying to hide behind the pillar. But I'm saying you gave yourself away too easily. I could see straight through your CIA super spy sunglasses. I don't know who you are supposed to be trailing or spying on. You'll find nothing on me kid. The only thing you'll find on me is a book full of truth and zip lock bags containing Knowledge and Wisdom. You should give up your hunt for terrorists and look for the ones residing in the White House first. Just know that your time for evil tricks is over.
I was extremely tired upon awakening for work, and my wife convinced me to stay home just like Eve convinced Adam to eat forbidden fruits in the Garden of Eden.
I needed this day to spend with my family and to get some rest.
I never called my job but they could care less if I did or did not call. That is how it seems to me at least.
I've seen people walk off the job site and get rehired the next week. I've seen people break all kinds of company rules yet they are still here.
So now they don't want to pay me my money that was due on Friday. Come to the office on Monday to talk, because your attendance record is not very outstanding.
Well you know what ass hole my pay is not great either and the hours I work for this company I should get 3 days off per week. If you don't pay me the funds that I worked so hard for I will resign, report you to the Minister of Manpower, and sue you for stealing. If that doesn't work I won't get mad I will just get even.
"I've warned you many times before," Jerry said. "Since you did a no call no show this past Saturday I will have to deduct $100.00 from your salary."
I said mostly nothing at all. If I would have called, you would have threatened me if I tried to take Saturday off. I am not stupid. Besides Sherlock, you have let plenty of other staff off the hook in the past when they did the same thing I did, so what's the difference?
So I walked out of the office with my deduction floating over my head. I vow for recompensation.
Thousands of people piled into buses, taxi cabs, and their automobiles to rush to their jobs, to help their boss fulfill his dreams while neglecting their own. They were sacrificing for one person, but why not sacrifice for humanity as a whole to make life better for everyone.
Why cant people rush to a specific location to say, "Okay how can we make life better for humanity?" "How can we end poverty starvation and homelessness?"
You mean we can send a land rover to Mars and satellites out into space but we cant solve basic human problems. Something is wrong.
Love is warm, hot and wet. Sometimes it makes you sweat and raises your body temperature above normal. Love never wants to stop going or giving up its many dimensions of ecstasy; multiple explosions of ecstatic energy emanating inwardly and outwardly.
The forces of darkness are now calling Love a terrorist because of Love's amazing power to unite people lovers and spread the Light.
Love is a positive addiction that should never be given up. Its one of the ingredients that therapist fail to recommend. What can be accomplished without love? It's the essence of what dreams are made of.
As the Sun descends and extends its golden rays of warmth and compassion upon all living beings, it plays a soulful tribal ancient song in my head.
The song welcomes the night and the crescent moon?
Who will benefit from the upcoming holy nights?
Many prayers were given and performed throughout the night from 20:00 until around 23:00hrs. After awhile you lose track of the number of rakats performed.
After the prayers are completed I walk the streets which are nearly empty, but when I get on the bus it is packed like cattle ready for slaughter. Everyone is sleeping.
I wake before 05:00 to drink some grape juice and wind up over sleeping and missing my Fajr prayers. Praying so late into the night really made me tired. I sense the urges of my lower desires but cannot succumb to them.
Later in the evening I'm beginning to feel the pangs of hunger and start thinking about the Indonesian restaurant I went to on my birthday.
Around 17:30 I'm chopping onions, green peppers, tomatoes, and garlic. I'm making Spanish soup.
Around 1900 I break my fast with dates and water. I'm wondering why my radio can't record radio stations.
2 Ramadhan 1425
I had only one minute to drink a glass of grape juice. After my minute was over I would be fasting the rest of the day without food or water for a total of about 13 to 14 hours straight.
Fasting brings me into a different mindset and everything seems to take on new meanings.
Questions start having answers.
Mysteries begin to unravel like fortunes out of a fortune cookie.
My perception becomes more clear.
I can see fine silk threads coming out of the body of a spider, and grains of sand seem to sparkle brightly.
Love is the main basic ingredient to accomplish our wants and desires.
I have noticed from my observations that if you speak a persons language that person will tend to have more respect for you.
Is it because they admire the fact that you took the time to actually learn to speak their language? To some it might come as a big surprise. For instance; who would ever think or hear of an African or Egyptian speaking fluent Chinese, or a Chinese man speaking French or Spanish.
This is the beauty of language. Anyone can learn with right dedication.
The massage parlor called the ambulance. I don't know why. Later on I would witness what I believe was a man being wheeled out on a stretcher. It looked like he was wearing a black mask. I began to wonder what kind of massage parlor was this. I think this old man had a heart attack.
Maybe one of the Chinese masseuse girls was massaging this man with no clothes on her body and he suddenly got a heart attack.
Maybe she pressed his chest cavity to hard causing him to have a heart attack or maybe to much sex.
Hang the laundry on bamboo sticks and wash the dishes.
I wonder how pure my heart is.
A sage said that a man with a pure heart could walk into any forest and not worry about being bitten by a snake or attacked by the most wildest of animals.
It's really human beings we have to watch out for.
Many people cannot be considered human anymore because they have sunk lower than animals in the animal kingdom.
What is it to be noble?
Is it having good character, humbleness and having a good sense of universal principles laws and morals?
I learned that the Arabic name for Jerusalem was Quds. Actually I can remember way back in the 1980's wondering, what was the conflict, between the Israelis and the Palestinians. Who were the good guys and who were the bad guys. I never knew of the significant importance of Jerusalem and what it meant for the entire world. All the 3 major religions; Islam, Christianity, and Judaism regard Jerusalem as being sacred and holy land. All 3 of the religions have holy sites within Jerusalem. Ever since Palestine was taken, there has always been war in that region and continues.
7 Ramadhan 1425. I broke my fast at the Fatima Mosque this evening. So far this was the best breaking of my fast at the Mosque since more varieties of foods were available.
There was sweet bread, watermelons, and papaya slices and sweet dates; also came with a dish of rice and mutton.
During the day I was thinking about what it meant for a person to be spiritual genuinely.
One does not become spiritual over night.
To be spiritual has to be a condition of the heart and genuine yearning for that which is truth.
Some are born spiritual.
I carry the burden of my personal wishes and desires and fulfilling them. I should never say I don't have enough time to accomplish them. Saying this is like waving the white flag of surrender even before the war has begun.
We have powerful minds capable of strong wills to accomplish whatever it is we desire.
So is time our master or are we the masters of time.
What does it really mean to say I don't have enough time when time is an invention and concept, a basic idea to mark the passage and journeys from point A ……………………. Z.
I went to sleep late last night knowing I had to come to this job today. I slept around 02:30 and woke up at 04:30 to prepare for my fast today.
For the most part I was stationed at PC1 the whole time feeling like I had been drugged by an elephant tranquilizer.
In normal circumstances when I would feel this tired I would drink some coffee. But since I am fasting, coffee is not an option.
It feels so cold in this building; like I am inside of an ice box.
Don't be surprised if my skin turns blue.
Alhamdudillah! I was able to get to the Fatima Mosque before the adhan for Maghrib prayers. I was able to sit amongst brothers this time around, to break my fast.
Today I thought about what real living was and the answer I received was living off of the land.
But today the basic necessities of life have come to include a wide range of accessories that we do not even really need. So now we work harder, and for what.
Real life is in the villages of rural countries, it is amongst tribes and in third world countries and families.
I sometimes wish I could click my shoes together like Dorothy did in the Wizard of Oz. For me the Wizard of Oz is this job that I work at which I often loathe and groan about coming to almost everyday. I seek ways of escape by trying to make real sense out of reality.
I know that what I am doing now has nothing to do with my dreams or my life purpose.
My dedication for this company does not register on the percentile scales.
But we all know the
I need a job to make money.
I reflected on the fact that no matter where you go in the world; when it comes to a given military you will always have ranks or positions within it. Someone has to lead and give commands while others help to carry them out. Some of the titles or badges received by the people may not even be worthy of them.
But what about a military of the Supreme Being? Allah has an army that I am quite sure is far more superior and sophisticated than any army or military; also not mentioning the discipline and dedication of hardcore soldiers.
Some good Samaritan knocks on your door in the morning and says I am here to warn you that past midnight tonight a group of teenagers plan to egg your entire house.
You take the warning lightly and go to sleep only to wake in the morning to find that the prediction was true.
But what about divine warnings that have been told about destructions so great that it would be unlike any destruction in all history? A destruction that would make so called terrorists look like children playing with matches.
I don't want to live to see that day.
Today I wrote down some Chinese Mandarin insults in han yu pin yin. I was surprised that Amharic had words of insult as well.
Later on in the night I went online to learn about the eclipse that occurred over Washington D.C. Recently astronomers have stated that the next eclipse will not be until 2007.
So we have the last eclipse, the recent transit of Venus, planets aligning in straight lines, dormant volcanoes erupting, space ships blowing up in mid air, and our approaching Sun about to align with the Milky Way Galaxy.
So what does it all mean?
I was walking down Yio Chu Chang Rd and found my mind wondering about the next day. I had to pull myself together in the present moment.
I told myself or was it my inner voice that said "
you cant worry about what tomorrow will bring because you cant live tomorrow
." Suddenly my sense of consciousness I had, changed for the better.
After midnight I meditated for about 10 minutes or so which felt like 30 minutes. The last time I meditated was in 1955 and I wasn't even born yet.
Sarcasm put aside, I really do miss deep meditations.
And have you ever been experienced?
You can have someone genuinely smile at you in the morning and be happy about it for the rest of the day: or you could have someone ruff you up in the wrong way and be mad at the entire world, if you abandon self awareness.
I caught myself.
I had a bad experience today and found that I was carrying the anger with me all the way inside of the bus I was riding. Once I realized this, it was like the Sun had finally opened up the murky clouds shining its Glory.
As old as legends may have it, and as old as manuscripts may be; sometimes they are worth looking into.
Like the ancient art of Kama Sutra. To a degree I think it may almost be something considered holy.
When I walk these streets or wherever I go and see people I often wonder what kinds of lives they live.
What do their dwelling places look like? What are their philosophies regarding life?
The stranger next door or across the street may have an answer to what you've been looking for, or maybe they could have been your best friend.
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