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A Mystical Leaf of Sufi Afro Zen
Que la mujera quiere en realidad. Un hombre que sabe que quiere. Un hombre con huevos y un palo chupar. Dinero gastar mas o menos. Y ser abofeteado y azotado de vez en cuando. I asked myself some questions as well. Like, where am I going, and what do I want out of life? What is godly about me and am I worthy of the afterlife? What do I need to work on? How close, or how far away am I to self mastery? Es que los cosas abajos el solo cosa en mi mente? Solo Rabbil Alamin sabe lo.
O430 Awoke, meditated, showered, couldnt find my watch, pissed off 0530 At bus stop 0544 On bus, read about the Korubo tribe in Brazil and poems by Gholam Sarwar Yousouf. 0644 Arrived to my new job. Was able to see the sun shining in the East briefly, an old man with no toe nails. Was told that I should treat the Directors of the Hong Fak Land building extremely nice. The Directors can kiss my ass. My hours are 0700- 1900 hours and I am making sweat shop wages. This job is a limitation to what my real worth is.
Im beginning to learn, since Ive been living in South East Asia, that every country has its pros as well as its cons. A lot of people who have never been to the Disunited Snakes of Amerikkka have this misconception of it. Once you get there, there is pie and honey falling from the sky, and if you make it to Hollyweird, you will become famous. Freedoms are being taken away, and the Constitution isn't worth anything anymore. Companies; moving overseas to manufacture/ employ at .50 per hour. Imprisonment, Corporate Greed, Capitalism, Oppression, Murder, Homelessness, Facism, Racism. The American Dream.
Don't write in black ink, my so called boss said, "write in blue or red." What is wrong with black ink?, I wanted to say, but since Im not the owner or the manager of the company, there is not much for me to say. But when I write in my journals, I write in black ink, read black words on white pages, see bright stars on black nights, play piano on black keys, cook good food in black pots, was born in triple black darkness. To deny blackness is to deny creation, life and existence itself. Noir et beau..
Thanks to imperialism, forced doctrines and edicts of the historical European Kings and Queens, plus colonialism;…..countless cultures of today and ancient wisdom that could have been useful is either stolen, destroyed, lost or forgotten. This lost came at the expense of exploitation, diseases, enforcement of Christianity, alcohol, lies, broken promises and a thousand excursions I can no longer speak in my mother tongue. According to the Gospels, Jesus never killed a man because he refused to accept the words that he was teaching. So I wondered why the people who claimed to have followed him killed in his name.
There is a difference between a job and work I try to tell people. Your job is what you learn to hate. It is your 9 to 5 or your overtime work for the company or the boss. It is the place you hate to go each day in and out. Work on the other hand is your life purpose. It is the things you enjoy doing the most but hardly seem to have the time. Do what you love, the money will follow. The artist does not have a job he has his work. The zen master as well.
I leave the ant trails in my home undisturbed and simply remove the source. A plant that sprouts in the crack of the ground and a leaf left unstepped on retains its beauty. Observant of breath, realizing that I am truly alive. Subtle glances of a woman, soft winds upon my face, realizing that I am gullible, depending on the case. Aware of the stillness and that which is silent even in sound. A spider crawling upon my white shirt, she needs not fear that I'll harm her in this moment of time. Take time to notice the small things.
I have to wake up every morning practically between 0430 and 0500. This is mainly because the buses don't start running until around 0530. I have to be at work at 0700 until 1900. I usually do not get home until around 2030 and don't get to sleep until around midnight, no matter what I do to try to get to sleep earlier. So when I wake up I feel drowsy from insufficient rest. If I worked nights instead I don't think I would be able to make it through. I feel like a slave to the mechanical time clock.
Time is essence. I labored for 84 hours in 7 days and get one day off. How time flies sometimes like a child with his arms outstretched in deep imagination, or slows down like a snail leaving its silvery slime trail behind. Suddenly I realized, it was as though gauze pads were removed from my eyes and that all the time before, I was living under this spell of death called unconsciousness. It can be seen everyday when you cross the street, or buy your groceries; it's every where. I contemplate my next action in this game called present moments.
The Emperor's mask he wore, as he strutted and pounded the earth's floor as though he was the All Mighty and Supreme Being. It was funny because he did not know that I saw through his mask and inside of his heart which was filled with evil and intense hatred. He was the devil in flesh, a wolf in sheeps clothing. As my focus became more focused I realized that he was just like an actor in a play, and his part in the play was to act important. He was his own illusion. He was no Emperor at all.
Tried latte at Au Grand Pain, just opened. I was able to relieve myself Eastern style today in the squatting position. I felt about nine kilograms lighter. I had a nice view for the first time of Marina Bay which was full of ships and boats. Believe it or not, pirates in the sea still exist today; they are just more high tech. Who do you think the smugglers of the seas are? Pirates of course. I love the smell of fresh sea water and the cries of the seagulls as they navigate the winds. We had nice rain today.
After taking painting I and painting II in 2000, everyone is telling me to paint again. A personal void of my own I have not fulfilled. Its only a matter of time. It is not for the love of money, but for love of art itself and its process which is unpredictable. I gave several paintings to my mom because I find it difficult to sale my paintings when people make offers. Its almost like selling your soul. True art is a representation of the soul itself. It is the expressed in the unexpressed. The inner being, the inner eye.
For people who feel insecure because of what someone might be thinking of them really need some serious self analysis. Who cares what people think, or might be thinking you? If I decide to wear a fur coat in the hot sun with a pair of swimming trunks and diver flippers, with a propeller baseball cap on my head, so what! People need to care about their own thinking and thoughts instead of worrying about other peoples thoughts and thinking processes. Try deprogramming your self of all the mental garbage you have collected over the years and then liberate yourself.
"Why don't you try the local coffee," she said. "Yes" I said, "Why not, because Starbucks coffee is too expensive." In truth and reality, the price of a latte is not worth the cup. Think about that for a minute………I managed to scribe over 100 hanzi (Chinese) characters on flashcards. It was a good way to pass the slow hours at my repetitive routine job. My Japanese language sensei told me that kanji originated from the hanzi script. Very interesting. Hungul script is a completely different story……… I still yearn to know the truth about my mother in Ethiopia.
No longer do we have dictators today like Hitler and Mussolini, but then there is Oh! Bush, I almost forgot. But on a statistical global level our dictator of the twentieth century is television. Today you will rarely see families gathered having family discussions. Its no wonder why the mother does not know her daughter and fathers do not know their sons. If they want true answers to these questions, just ask Mr. Television. It will have all the answers. How to dress, who are the bad guys, and who are the good guys. How to think like a robot.
Saw last 15 minutes of a program on octopuses and squids. You rarely hear of those type of sea creatures anywhere at all, unless they are being eaten. The depths at which they live are very deep. No mankind has been able to reach the ocean depths. Some things are best left unexplored. I personally believe it may be a dimension to another part of our Universe, or some ancient city with beings living there. Maybe Atlantis was never destroyed after all, or maybe Atlantis was just a big mothership. If city……don't destroy them like Colombus did the Indians.
Was able to the beat the bus I always miss by getting off my first bus two stops before the end drop off point. This enabled me to do my prayers inside Hajjah Fatima Mosque before the sun rised. After prayers I saw old Chinese people doing tai chi to oldies music…….Sundance to the Ancients. I do not dream of this anymore. Silence still in my memories, blood still flows through my veins. Live for the present moment…….I take advantage of the monotony of this job by learning verses in Arabic and learning foreign languages on the side.
Chicken soup actually is good for the soul when you are hungry. Heavy rainfalls today briefly and then there was sunshine. Not much to say when your Mind is in a Zen state and everything seems to stand still for a moment. Why do some women feel that in order to attract a man they must show off revealing parts of their body? When they get old and wrinkled, what will there be to show? How about showing off the Mind, the inner self and all the other simple things that reflect the Self? Flower, ant, stairwell, birds fly away.
I no longer use the designated breakroom we are supposed to use. It appears that the Master of all funk visited our breakroom yesterday. I am talking about 1,001 smelly feets funk. Whoever owns those feet needs to get a new pair……….Meanwhile, back in the fresh air, Putonghua, Yue, Wu, Fuzhou, Minnan, Xiang, Gan and Kejia are the 8 dialects of Chinese. If spoken, no dialect can understand. But if you write what you want to say, all the 8 dialects would understand. They just pronounce their words differently. That is universal indeed. Wo bu hui jiang zhong wen..
After receiving a small portion of my salary and earnings, she told me to make sure I didn't buy any books with it. To me that was like saying don't take showers anymore. I find myself drinking coffee almost every morning now due to my sweat shop labor hours. I contemplated the fact that an ant is not paid in gold coins for being an ant so why must we try so hard to get gold coins for being human. The Industrial Revolution was simply an assassination of the true way of life. Real true revolutions bring peace and harmony.
Nature makes architectural structures beautiful when they are complimented with the aspects of natural elements. Zen gardens are a perfect example of this, and especially ancient monuments that used more natural elements to build their homes and cities versus the chemicals we use today. How my day went today…….Halal local coffee, sugar cane juice, prayers, 12 hours of work at PC1 control, 100 hanzi characters from the 500 character Putonghua book. Lightning, thunder and then rain. Only one more day til my off day. More Arabic writings, preparations to write Japanese letter to Japanese friend in kanji, hiragana, katakana.
I was so tired that I had difficulties opening my eyes. My body felt as though it was under the weight of 2 ton elephants…………..In all my life I have never heard of the Beany and Cecil cartoon during my childhood years and Ive seen lots of cartoons. They play this cartoon everymorning on the bus I catch exactly at 0600. Its about this doofus green dinosaur and some evil character who has a wicked laugh that goes nya haa haa. Its so stupid that you have to laugh………What I really need is a deep tissue Thai massage.
I woke up as I usually do instead of sleeping in even though it is my only day off out of 7 days. Then wrote 200 different hanzi characters. If I can at least learn about 1000 of them I can at least read a newspaper to some degree. Time my son, it will all take time but persistence will definitely pay off……..When you dress in regular civilian clothes people think you don't have money. But when you wear white collar type clothes people treat you like you are their best customer. To bad they lost a customer today.
Supagaru desu, The Japanese way of saying superglue. I had a situation where I had to use some while working; as the back heel of my shoe was detaching itself from its base. I am good at wearing shoes out. I travel more in my shoes than I do by car. Sometimes I am like Buraq traveling through the desert under the hot blazing sun.………….. "How is it that you can sense the grasshopper at my feet while you are blind Master?" "How is it that you cannot" said the blind man…………Stop mechanical time, still this body and Mind.
I wonder if I am still alive. I see some people look at me like they have seen a ghost, or like they have just experienced the 7 levels of hell and God's wrath. I think the Chinese man who makes my coffee is putting poison inside of it. I started feeling dizzy and nauseated yesterday. He always serves my coffee with a smile, like the face of death. So if I don't complete my March entries then you will know why. I'm probably dead…..Let it be amongst cherry blossoms, singing birds, and a soft wind, of jasmine scents.
When you have a set standard of rules and all of a sudden those rules change, some people become furious, to the point of fighting or even murder. It could be minute, like over a parking space or no more smoking in the building……..Some people think that they can treat their fellow man in the worst ways possible and that there will be no consequences. There is also laws enforced by government figures and corrupt men. Then there is a law that cannot be broken. Universal Laws. I had a day of people who think they are so important.
I wondered what does a fly taste like to a spider as it sucks out all of its inner fluids.……… These 12 hours a day, 6 days a week hours are killing me. Plus backbiting, politics, whos wrong, whos right, do this, do that, blah, blah, blah. I too, like the fly, struggling to get out the spiders web……….I still have time to break free, before the business world like a poisonous spider injects its deadly poison into my mind and body, making me another statistic. ………..Elderly become janitors, bottle, newspaper, and can collectors, barely living their life dream.
Called off from work today. My energy and enthusiasm was completely depleted. I don't know how much longer I can continue on. Received a call a few days before for an interview. Like the job I presently have, I am sure there will be strings attached to the other one as well. So the vicious cycle continues on…………..Spent the majority of the day doing what I get the least of. Sleep. I had a weird dream where I was in Thailand and I had to fight, eventhough I did not want to fight. I escaped death just in time.
If I were a cat, I would bask in the sun during the morning, get free meals, roam around the neighborhood and get acquainted with the other cats. Unfortunately, I am not a cat, nor do I even know if I am human, or if I am from another planet, because this appears so strange to me………..Once in my lifetime I would like to take a nap on a park bench and spend the night under a foreign beach. Preferably with a nice view of all the stars………My presence here………present unknown without name…………still as golden reeds
I went to an interview for the Pan Pacific Hotel, eventhough I decided not to at the last minute. My second half persuaded me to do otherwise. "What can you offer to the company?" he said. "A sack of potatoes" I felt like telling him. "Do you consider yourself religious?" he said. I told him that I was not a lip professor and that I put my beliefs into practice. From there it seemed to go down hill. I must be an extremist now, right? Maybe if I was an alcoholic, dope user, and a criminal, they would hire me.
Whoever heard of coffee in a plastic bag accompanied with a straw? That's what I got at a different coffee shop I went to at 6:40 am. I felt like I was carrying a bag of gold fish……….Well it's the last day of March, the day Ive waited for. The 100 word project seems to make the month go by slower. Personally, I write more than 100 words per day. Found this to be a creative exercise to try to write an entire day in 100 words…………Each day is a sacrifice and the sun continues to shine religiously.
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