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10/01 Direct Link
Reentering the darkness is not anything close to what you might be thinking it is.

For starters, we start off with the basics of the darkness which we can witness during the night and which we can witness throughout the Universe, in Black Holes, and Black Matter.

On a much deeper level when we close our eyes we can see even deeper than the night, and deeper than Universe as we realize that the night and the Universe is within us as we meditate in the deep silence.

We breathe the breath of the Universe on each exhale and inhale.
10/02 Direct Link
While soaking inside of the bath, I took a few moments to massage my balls and said, 'I embrace the power within my balls.'

You might think that the balls do not have power but they have more power than you can think of.

It is the key component behind the phrases that he has real balls, cohones, or balls made of steel.

A lot of men do not embrace their balls because they think it is wrong to embrace their manhood.

I beg to differ.

Embrace every masculine aspect about yourself as a man and you cannot go wrong.
10/03 Direct Link
The more I listened to Patrice O'Neal who was supposed to be a comedian, he actually has some rather sound advice about women which is basically to cut out all of the bullshit with them.

Stop trying to please them, stop being nice to appease them, stop walking on eggshells to not get them mad at you for telling the truth, speaking your opinions, or stating how you really feel.

I liked how he was telling that female author off, where he says how can a shark follow a book written by a tuna on how to be a shark.
10/04 Direct Link
Don't be afraid to be a man, don't be afraid of anything, and stop living in fear by confronting the fear dead on, no matter what it might be.

When I say don't be afraid to be a man, I'm talking about the way society has made it for men to where they feel like they have to walk on eggshells in certain situations.

Don't be afraid to be yourself, or be afraid of anything that will make you more of a man, especially when you are confronting the so called fear that you might tend to be afraid of.
10/05 Direct Link
As I looked at sexy Asian women wearing cheongsams revealing their thighs or even wearing a lace cheongsam dress, I found myself to be reminded about my second ex and how she had desired a cheongsam for herself and how I never had the chance to purchase her one.

As I continued to look at their Asian faces I realized that every woman needed a man and wanted a man, and wanted to be molded into whatever he wanted them to be molded into based on the blueprints that he held in his divine and glorious manly cosmic conscious mind.
10/06 Direct Link
After explaining the different parts of the body, and looking up anatomy to know the exact name of the body part, I soon realized that knowing my anatomy could come in more ways than in just drawing. It could also help with my writing skills as well, as I conjure up some ideas that I could write for the upcoming National November Month of Writing. I'm thinking about BDSM stories.

By the way, besides it being said that we have 206 bones in our body, how many muscles do we have, and how many veins or nerves, and nerve cells?
10/07 Direct Link
We are still on the woman fast and I told myself that if I had to think of women in any kind of particular way it would be from a position of man dominating the woman, and the woman submissive to the man in a manner that did not necessarily deal with sex.

As a matter of fact, let's not even talk about sex at all as far as the aspect of dominance is concerned because ultimately what must be dominated is yourself.

Fasting from women is mainly about focusing more on myself, my wants, my desires, and my needs.
10/08 Direct Link
Here I sit in bed writing in a what seems to be a dark and gloomy atmosphere.

I could spice things up a bit I said to myself by adding some light in here but it was not the light I was really looking for. I was thinking of something more creative and that is when illuminating lights all around the room came to my mind as a sort of direction to take as far as creativity and lighting was concerned.

On the other hand I had thought that some artwork on the walls would be kind of cool too.
10/09 Direct Link
For the rest of the day I was feeling down in a way that I couldn't explain

They say it's going to snow this week and everyone is talking about it.

So what happens when it doesn't snow and it's not as cold as they said it was going to be. Did anyone bother to see where the winds were blowing from?

My first thoughts were from the north since that's where a lot of our snow comes from to begin with.

Of course I could be wrong about that so I'm not claiming to be any kind of expert.
10/10 Direct Link
I had made some stir fried vegetables in oyster sauce, with rice and egg for the both of us while I watched some ridiculous adult cartoon that I do not remember the name of.

Later on she would want to see this Hip Hop Rap show contest sort of thing. We watched it together and the next thing I knew she wanted to go dance and stomp the floors like a mad wild woman.

Not sure if I checked on some of my chess matches or not or if I just simply laid down and sort of slept a bit.
10/11 Direct Link
I didnít manage to gather the energy to get up and get outside in order to go to the store to get a few needed grocery items.

I didnít want to cook any dhal neither but knew that if I did cook it, it would be enough to last for several days. I just did not see myself cutting vegetables and I wasn't really feeling it.

I was gathering more joy from the fact that I was finally getting caught up to my one hundred word entries. I guess that is a true sign of someone who truly enjoys writing.
10/12 Direct Link
I did not do much today knowing that I would have to return back to work tonight.

I watched more of Disenchantment and later went out to the grocery store after all of our recent snowfall to get some whole milk, cornflakes, granola cereal, a dozen of brown eggs, orange juice, grapefruit juice, wheat crackers, and some cream cheese garden vegetable spread.

I played a few games for the online chess tournament that I am in.

The rest of the day was spent sleeping.

I did not do any writing today neither, which I am highly ashamed of myself for.
10/13 Direct Link
I was reflecting over the title of a book called ĎThe Obstacle Is The Way.í The title alone speaks for itself.

The obstacle is all the things that you say are problems in your life or things that you would like to do or take care of. So called problems could also be simple tasks that need to be completed.

We tend to want to do anything besides what we should really be doing, rather that be working on our projects or working on ourselves.

We find ways to distract ourselves from what we should be really facing in life.
10/14 Direct Link
When I had planned to fast for Monday, my entire plans would change when I would find out that my turkey sandwich had bacon in it.

It was a real disappointment, but at the same time it was a blessing, as I was very thankful for the fact that I investigated the kind of meat that was on my sandwich before I ate it.

A banana with dates, and some yoghurt became my actual meal since I couldn't find anything else to eat besides a bag of chips, and the granola bar that I had with my Costa Rica coffee.
10/15 Direct Link
Who is your true and living Master?

If someone asked you that question, what would be your response?

I already know the answer but the reason why I'm writing about this is because the real question to be asking is, how much of yourself really believes that this Master is true and living and that He has the powers and the greatness that is beyond your human comprehension.

If you truly believe this, what methods or ways do you demonstrate this belief and does it serve you any good in the short term and the long term to believe so?
10/16 Direct Link
Mostly everything I found on lust was from a Buddhist perspective and from what various people had wrote regarding lust from a Buddhist perspective stated that lust should not be seen as something that is necessarily bad, because the moment we do that is the moment that we begin to separate ourselves from something as though it is not a part of us when in fact it is.

The proper way of going about lust was to simply observe it and increase your awareness of it until it eventually disappears like many of our thoughts that come, go, and disappear.
10/17 Direct Link
'Look at the evolution of human emotion. The survival of our earliest ancestors depended on their ability to communicate with one another well before the invention of language,' is what I read in the introduction part of the book entitled The Laws of Human Nature written by Robert Greene.

After I read those few sentences I had to stop and write about this as I caught myself being led into believing something and taking statements without asking any questions.

The question that I had was 'how did the author Mr. Greene know what it was like five million years ago?'
10/18 Direct Link
The word of the day is philogyny, which means a person who likes or admires women.

I guess you could say that I am a philogynist as I find it rather difficult to fully master my thoughts regarding women.

Misogyny on the other hand is said to be some kind of mental illness where men hate women just because they are women. They called it discrimination of the sexes.

When I read the definitions that the ancients had of this word, I saw that it had nothing at all to do with them being women but some obvious observed fact.
10/19 Direct Link
I spent a considerable amount of time in meditation and had started to think on the subject of being intuitive and what it meant to be naturally psychic, and the type of mind frame that would be necessary to be able to experience that in a natural state to where that is always your state, just as it is natural to breathe.

I am beginning to read the book on Mental Purification by Hazrat Inayat Khan.

He starts off by speaking on harmony and the cause of physical as well as mental illness is based on not being in harmony.
10/20 Direct Link
In the Bible scriptures it says that Eve had talked about how she was told not to eat of the fruit because if she ate it or touched it she would die.

The serpent however had told her that she wouldn't die but that her eyes would be opened.

The big question was asked as to why would God want us to be blind in the garden to where we did not know truth and falsehood, nor did we know that there was anything wrong with being naked.

Maybe we had a higher state of consciousness before eating the fruit.
10/21 Direct Link
While I was out and about I started to think on a few things, such as how women came from me, or came from man.

If a man never ejaculated into a woman's vagina she would never be able to get pregnant which means she would not be able to produce any offspring.

So each time you look at a woman it was actually the result of some man busting a nut inside of another woman. Without his sperm her existence would have been nil.

So when a woman says she does not need a man she should think again.
10/22 Direct Link
When I had got on the back of the bus there was this one woman who had some crazy attach on witch curved black nails on and had asked me if we were going Eastbound.

Yes, I responded.

She walked down the aisle to ask the bus driver a question and made it a point to switch her ass from side to side real hard as though maybe I would get a hard on or something.

When I saw her face I saw nothing but problems written all over it and I knew she definitely was not the submissive type.
10/23 Direct Link
I completed my Asr prayers and felt very good afterwards.

Today it's supposed to snow and rain during the evening I do not feel like going to work but know that I cannot afford to call off.

I reflected on the times that I had missed my prayers which take no more than fifteen minutes but was willing to make it to my job to give them eight hours of my time despite me not wanting to go.

I had to remind myself that a few minutes of giving praises to the most High was more precious than any paycheck.
10/24 Direct Link
After doing two raka'ats sunnah, Zuhr, and an additional two raka'ats I had the thought come to my mind that just as perfume or musk is good for the body and makes it smells good; prayer is the perfume of the spirit and the soul and makes it smell good on another spiritual plane and dimensional level.

Never forget the power of prayer, or forget that Allah God is on your side and will answer your prayers.

Never miss the Fard salats and always try to remember Him is the best and wisest counsel that I have received all day.
10/25 Direct Link
How To Come Out as a Dominant/ Submissive by Richard Aravalos came from the movie The Secretary which I liked better than Fifty Shades of Grey.

There was a lot of psychological aspects in the movie and it seems like they were meant for each other.

At the end of the movie he treated her like a goddess. I thought that she really deserved being that she had been very obedient and submissive to her man.

I think that any woman who is obedient and submissive to her man like that should be given lots of love, care, and affection.
10/26 Direct Link
I did my Fajr and sunnah prayers this morning along with the full manzil.

I finally figured out the correct pronunciation of a word from surah 7 verse 54. The word ends with a yaa which has no diacritic marks on it and before the yaa there is a waa with an alif on top of it.

The full word is astawaa. I think it means 'he ascended.'

Every once in awhile I will come across a word that I am not sure how to pronounce and have to look at other Qurans or listen to it from a Qari.
10/27 Direct Link
When I went to Whole Foods this morning to buy some incense I started talking to this cashier woman who was not that attractive at all.

I told her how I was full of caffeine after just getting off work.

She had asked me if I take serotonin or melatonin to go to sleep and I told her that maybe some bud would help.

I think she misunderstood me and thought that I said maybe some butt would help, meaning her ass and that kind of explained why she had turned away sort of and said have a nice day.
10/28 Direct Link
The reason why I lack in demonstrating real love and affection towards women is not because I hate them or because I am so Red Pilled that I don't give a fuck.

As I revisit my childhood I realize that one reason why I don't demonstrate love and affection towards women is because I never saw my dad demonstrate love to her.

I can remember them arguing sometimes but I can't really remember seeing them kissing or hugging or being intimate with each other.

I still remember the perfect house as a child, where we lived together as a family.
10/29 Direct Link
In my meditation I started to see myself as having this bright inner light, which would eventually lead me to seeing myself as the Sun.

When I had saw myself as being the Sun I had asked myself if the Sun would discriminate on who it shined its light on and I had to agree that the Sun shines on the wicked as well as the righteous and that it is true that there is nothing new under the Sun for it has seen centuries and centuries of life here on Earth.

The Suns and planets are conscious and alive.
10/30 Direct Link
The spoon scene dialogue in the Matrix goes:

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.

Neo: What truth?

Spoon boy: There is no spoon.

Neo: There is no spoon?

Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

I had thought of this same analogy but instead of thinking of a spoon I was thinking of a woman.

Don't try to bend a woman to submit to your will as a man, that's impossible, simply realize that there is no woman.
10/31 Direct Link
It is becoming more evident that I really need to brush up on my Spanish.

I came up with three areas that I could focus on.

One area was to memorize the various verb conjugations so that I could start learning how to speak in the proper tenses.

The other way was to start going through the Spanish picture dictionary to learn how to say things that I'm not sure of the proper word to use for the thing.

The last was to think of things that you do on a day to day basis or places that you go.