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03/01 Direct Link
I was doing my meditation and found myself asking a question as to how should I be on a moment by moment basis.

The question made me realize that there really is no specific way to necessarily be.

The real way to be is to be aware of what's going on in the now.

I thought about how when we were in school as young children how we were often asked by our teachers what did we want to be when we grew up.

Before we were asked that question we were rather content just the way that we were.
03/02 Direct Link
‘What Is In A Face,’ the chapter said from the book I got a long time ago called The Object Stares Back.

I began to think about the face of the One who is actually the Faceless since most people in this world have never seen it before up close and in person.

The Holy Quran says to seek the face of Allah.

If you really think about this, you will realize that He is the faceless, and you will know why this is true, and how the Quran is actually full of Zen Koans, and full of divine wisdom.
03/03 Direct Link
I collapsed to the floor in the middle of my night prayers and vomited into the container that I normally soak my feet in.

I felt helpless on the floor, with no one by my side, or no one to say ‘is everything okay?’

I thought that I could end my sickness by doing nineteen situps, only to find myself vomiting three more times.

There was a collection of vomit in my mouth on the second round which missed the toilet and landed on the side of the bathtub.

I could see everything that I ate inside of the vomit.
03/04 Direct Link
You would think that I had all the time in the world to study Arabic, [being that I practically did nothing during my sickness from vomiting].

I myself think that I have all the time in the world, without realizing that time is of the essence, more precious than gold, or diamonds, or all the wealth in the world.

When your time is up, there will be nothing more to say, nothing more to write, and even the memories of me will fade away.

These facts,
these truths,
in solitude,
all alone,
in the void
of darkness
all by myself.
03/05 Direct Link
I was watching the Discovery station and caught myself in awe over nice homes on islands and felt so small as to what I had in comparison, until I remembered a Hadith that I read the other day which stated; that we should not look at people who are better off than us but rather look at people who are less fortunate in comparison, ‘meaning those people who are not as fortunate as we are but would have loved to be in the same position as we are in comparison.’

Just be grateful for the things that you do have.
03/06 Direct Link
When I saw the Noble King’s long silver extended sword worn on his right side I knew that it was more than just symbolic.

Take more notice of dream symbols in the dream and outside of the dream.

I had to think more about the warrior and the attribute of the destroyer and to see if I could even contemplate what it meant when it was said that Isa would slay his enemies with a sword dripping in blood.

The practice of self-control moment by moment is mystical, cosmic, and leads to dream states of supreme calmness of the mind.
03/07 Direct Link
While thoughts and words may have power, the real power lies behind the action, which is the action of actually doing what you thought, and what you said you were going to do, no matter what that thought or action was.

It makes perfect sense that if you want to be master over anything, circumstance, or anybody you need to learn how to be a master over yourself.

What are some of the things that you can exercise self-mastery and control over?

It has been said that one of the first steps to self-mastery is the mastery over the stomach.
03/08 Direct Link
As I walked away from the job I began contemplating to myself that everything is mystical.

The desired state to be in, is the state that you are in right now, while in a state of simple awareness.

Many people think that enlightenment can only occur while you are in some kind of deep meditation, when the truth of the matter is that it’s well known that people have experienced states of enlightenment by hearing simple things such as a rock bouncing off of a tree, or the sound of some crow in the distance in some deep secluded forest.
03/09 Direct Link
It is important for me to make it clear that what I realize inside of me is inside of everyone else, including the life that is around us in the trees, the plants, insects, birds, fish, deer, the minerals and so on up and down the divine chains of certainty.

Many of us fail to realize this truth because we enrapture ourselves into the web of this world that is in some cases like a gigantic spider web.

If you want to be the operator of anything then you need to learn how to operate from within the inner operator.
03/10 Direct Link
It was in my opinion that the real desire behind sex is not in the ejaculation but becoming one with the opposite sex on a spiritual and mystical level.

Another look should be gathered about perception and how things are perceived and sometimes assumed which means that perception is not always true.

My feet are a sign of the many broken paths I have travelled with thorns stuck deep in the soles of my feet that have witnessed the broken dreams, the broken glass, the poetry of my feet, with a horse nearby with wings ready to take me away.
03/11 Direct Link
You need to learn how to not see work as work,
but to see work as being mystical,
just as you have stated that everything else is mystical.

See work in the light of the fact that what you are doing doesn’t have a title so that work is not work, but that you’re simply doing whatever that task of doing may be.

There is nothing wrong with a woman shaking her ass from side to side, or strip teasing. or grinding, as long as she is doing that for her man and not for the entire world to see.
03/12 Direct Link
Sex is in the air.

Sex is in the different environments, in nature, and sex is in the climatic weather patterns.

If you really think about it, you can see how Earth is sexual simply by the reproduction of life of various species that is constantly happening all around us.

This is how the Earth is sexual, to the point of being penetrated on a daily basis by the glorious Sun.

He who is most real, realistic, and a realist is the one who is most authentic and most disciplined.

The less fake you are the more real you are.
03/13 Direct Link
I walked to the bus stop after work and began the process of what I called mindful walking, which was me being mindful of my deliberate steps from the left foot to the right foot.

I acknowledged that while doing this type of walking, it began to lead and induce within me the mystical states.

Apply this state of mind to every single one of your other actions, no matter what they might be.

Today I think about spies and intelligence, and the various aspects of it all around the world, the agencies, and outside of this planet, and beyond.
03/14 Direct Link
I did a brief look on the definition of male chauvinist pig and where it came from and it is confirmed that it originated from the so called feminist movements during the 1960's.

Male chauvinism is the belief that men are superior to women.

The word male chauvinism was said to be first used in Clifford Odets play Till The Day I Die.

To my surprise there is a book written by a woman named Ariel Levy called Female Chauvinist Pig and sounds like another feminist book written by a feminist ranting and raving just for the hell of it.
03/15 Direct Link
You should be making yourself as comfortable as much as possible when writing, which may include lotion and oils on a dried skinned body, wearing loose clothing or not clothing, warm indoor temperatures, and then realize that writing is like a sex session as you want to make the mood right.

Quietly a small hawk sat outside of the window and I was able to steal a glance of it close up with my broken binoculars.

I was trying to figure out what kind of hawk it was, despite me not knowing the name of any kind of hawk species.
03/16 Direct Link
I am time.

I did a brief contemplation on death and had to acknowledge the fact that it could happen to me at any moment, at any time, in a way and manner that I was not aware of; no matter how safe my environment appeared to be or how healthy and good that I may have felt.

Thinking like this really made me realize the practice of mindful breathing and how each and every inhalation and exhalation of the breath is precious.

You'd be surprised as to how it is the simple things that are actually the most powerful.
03/17 Direct Link
When drinking tea,
just drink tea,
when you are writing,
just write,
when you stand up,
stand up straight,
when you walk,
be mindful of your steps,
of your thoughts,
and of your words.

Each action is an art, simply because you have the power and ability to choose what actions you decide to take.

Whatever action you take, do it with awareness, and make each of your actions your best masterpiece.

If you’re going to be anything in life that you choose to be dedicated to, then you have to be hardcore about it, with no shortcuts in between.
03/18 Direct Link
I want to say something in regards to my desires and my impulses.

Before I take actions on an impulse I should pause first to study the impulse and the root of it.

If I look out the window and see some woman in a bikini I shouldn’t be so quick to grab the broken binoculars to do so.

Pausing during an impulse before acting should be done with all other desires too.

Perhaps the purpose of fasting which has been prescribed to curb your lower desires is really meant for you to meet with the One True Love instead.
03/19 Direct Link
I want to remove my mask after seeing a woman and many other people wearing theirs.

The truth of the matter is that we all wear one and I wanted to remove the one that I had.

In a way I had understood what Rumi was saying when he had mentioned something to the degree that love was hiding behind what was seen.

He said something to the degree that the veil of love had been unveiled and that he was surrounded by love.

If you can see love in this light, then perhaps you can experience what Rumi did.
03/20 Direct Link
I looked inside of my backpack at all of the books inside and had to ask myself a question.

When I take it to work, how many of these books do I actually read?

Do I have time to read all of these books?

I knew the answer to the question and that I was going to have to do what I could to lighten my load.

Would I be able to lighten it or would I just be walking around with a bunch of books on my back like a donkey who never gets a chance to read them?
03/21 Direct Link
I had a thought along the premises that if I could be mindful of my breath for an entire shift, it would be like a meditation.

Even if I did accomplish such a feat of being mindful of my breath for an entire shift, I should not see it as some miraculous feat; because as a Zen practice, the breath is supposed to be the main foundation of the Zen practice to begin with, as a means to bring you into the present moment.

Be a Yoga Breathtarian where your main focus is mainly on the breath and nothing else.
03/22 Direct Link
I wound up taking the light rail station while noticing this new found confidence of fearlessness of looking at women and at people in general.

I am not looking at them from a perspective that I am better dressed or better off than you sort of perspective but more on a mystical basis where I am headless, without name, without title and just simply looking and seeing attempting to break the barriers of illusion.

I hope I get the time to do some of my meditations, Dhuha prayers, cutting my hair, one hundred word entries and reading some more books.
03/23 Direct Link
Supreme Love is unconditional,
deep within,
like the sun,
it doesn’t discriminate,
whom it shines on.

Unconditional love has to be the supremest of love; like the Sun that does not discriminate is probably one of the best things I have ever said or spoken of regarding love.

When does time becomes an illusion?

Time becomes an illusion when you stop looking at your watch or looking on the wall for it.

Don't make the best of each moment.
Don't live each moment as though it were your last.
Live the moment as the moment and nothing more than that.
03/24 Direct Link
One main point in my life has to revolve around having no fear.

Fear tends to paralyze you and cause you to hesitate on doing things you have always wanted to do.

You are the galaxies in folded Origami paper, the cosmic universe, every star, each dust particle throughout space and every breathing animal, and every single thing.

I notice when I’m trying to be quiet it is often thought that something is wrong.

Some people feel uncomfortable in the silence and feel obligated to turn the television on, their MP3’s, or their smart phones to distract themselves from it.
03/25 Direct Link
So I have read a little bit about the face in The Object Stares Back, and see that they have a chapter about the body too.

What is in a face, is a good question because how often do we pay attention to faces.

The author made a claim that he was able to read his wife just by looking at her face alone.

I get into the bed naked.

It feels good to be butt naked in my sheets and I do not feel ashamed to be naked.

This is one example of being comfortable in your own skin.
03/26 Direct Link
In my fifteen minute meditation the goal was to strip myself of everything including the name and the title I have been given so that I was no longer mystical, Sufi Muslim, or a dad, or a supervisor, or an employee, or a horny ass mother fucker, or a predator, or a Zen practioneer, or a man, or an alpha, or a dominant in BDSM, nor did I have a body, or a head, or anything said to belong to me.

Breath was not breath and listening was not listening, and there was no definition for anything that was happening.
03/27 Direct Link
There isn’t something else beyond this, some other state of mind, or of being, I said while taking a shower.

We shouldn't have to ask ourselves how should we be, when all we have to do is be observant with what we are doing right now.

If you’re eating you need to be eating, and if you are folding clothes that just came out of the dryer then you should be doing just that.

There really is no mystery if you’re paying attention to what is happening now and not wishing that it were different than what it presently is.
03/28 Direct Link
The conclusion of my meditation for the day ended with the silence and an empty mind as my companions.

I came to a realization that at some point I had to do without words, without the alphabet, and the modes of communication via speech, or writing, which meant entering this ultimate road that would lead me to the silence as it should be practiced.

In addition to the silence emptying the mind was more about getting rid of those images that often distract and lead you astray with your thoughts.

Instead of having thoughts have the mindset of the thoughtless.
03/29 Direct Link
My new word for this morning is Rorschach. It is not easy for me to pronounce as it has its word origins from Germany.

You might remember the psychologists cards with the splotches where you are supposed to say what you see in the picture which determines what about the essential you?

Before sex even begins and before there is rough housing there has to be embraces, kisses, fondling, and a passion built on true love and true desires that both of you want each other so much and do all the fucking to prove that it is really true.
03/30 Direct Link
I was reading about this Zen perspective which broke it down to a physics and metaphysical level when it described that even solid objects that appear to be solid are constantly moving on the molecular and atomic levels.

While reflecting on motion I imagined that the world was just a bunch of molecules, atoms, and various types of unseen energy which was what was really holding everything together.

A closer look at this wall tells me that it is composed of various atoms that have composed themselves in a manner to appear solid when in fact they are constantly moving.
03/31 Direct Link
While I was in the bathtub I suddenly saw myself as a fetus inside of the triple darkness of my mother’s womb.

If you want to truly know and understand women, the only thing you have to do is remember your mom and everything that she did for you when you were a just a helpless child.

If you think about the principles of the mother, then you can start getting the general sense of the type of attributes that women should have.

I massaged, pulled, and grabbed on my balls while embracing the deeper aspects of true individual manhood.