02/01 Direct Link
This morning I noticed my very subtle angers as they arose.

One example of this was when I was at work and how I was being constantly called over the radio.

At one point, I knew for a fact that my colleagues were almost taking it as a joke and that perhaps they were snickering about it in the background.

By making myself aware I realized that I shouldn’t allow anger to get the best of me.

If I planned on mastering anything I should be able to master my anger.

Sometimes being extremely calm can be scary to people.
02/02 Direct Link
And then one day, or one night, or maybe during the sunrise or the sunset I will die.

I will exhale my last breath and just pass through time, or maybe through the galaxies, or maybe it will not be like that at all.

One thing that is for certain; I will not be here anymore to write my one hundred word entries, or wonder about paying my next bill or paying for rent.

Some say dying is sad.

Maybe that is because we do not think about it that much because we think that we are immortal and eternal.
02/03 Direct Link
I’m walking on a moment by moment basis cultivating love with each inhale and exhale.

You cannot say you are alive without love being involved in some kind of way, or fashion, or style of art.

If you love,
truth will follow.

A mindful check on what your body is doing should begin often from head to toe, starting with the expressions on your face, the tenseness in your shoulders, your eleven pack stomach, the circulating arousal in your balls, and a stiff protruding phallus yearning to penetrate her yoni nice and deep,
under the faces
of the countless stars.
02/04 Direct Link
An erect penis does not necessarily mean that a man is about to have sex.

I noticed this immediately as I looked at this mythological man with his dick in full erection which was way too big in proportion to his body.

Other ancient aspects of art show man flaunting his penis with no shame.

During these times the erect penis could represent man in his full and complete power.

Notice in these representations you do not see depictions of these men masturbating.

An erect penis could be the perfect time to focus on charging the chakras; the energy centers.
02/05 Direct Link
Take a good look at Maryam; not the white one that I saw at the art museum display: Glory of Venice: Masterworks of the Renaissance.

You can find the Black Madonna in Rome.

I wanted to look at Maryam and study her because she was supposed to be the exemplification and highest standard for all women in the world.

You need to understand the real concept of woman and not the one that you have been taught or read about.

Let's take it deeper.

Where did she come from and what is she really?

Empty the mind.

Discover for yourself.
02/06 Direct Link
Yogis and the saints didn’t get away from the city and seclude themselves in the mountains because they wanted to get away from the people.

Yogis and saints went to the mountains because they were trying to get away from all of the noise.

I realized this while I was meditating and hearing the hum sound of the engine in the refrigerator.

I just wanted the sound to stop but knew that there was nothing I could do about it in the present moment unless I unplugged it of course and then risk my food getting spoiled in the process.
02/07 Direct Link
I saw a news article and a video cam dated on 02/06/2017 at 01:25:19 where a green fire ball lands in lake Michigan.

Was that a coincidence or was it something more of a divine nature?

If you can see your semen as being something that is sacred and as something that can be conducive to your development for the better on a physical and spiritual level then you will definitely reap the benefits of the practice of Brahmacharya.

Read the Brahmacharya book, but this time around take physical notes to study on a constant basis.

02/08 Direct Link
Don't ask, 'what time do you guys normally do this and that?’

As a Supervisor you should be able to simply delegate and give commands as to what needs to be done.

Check the DAR to see what they have been doing for the shift; which in most cases is just about nothing at all.

Think about all the things that you possibly fear, and then try to imagine how you would feel if you didn’t have those fears.

When you are out and about, what do people say?

Try to work on your listening skills and your observational skills.
02/09 Direct Link
As I worked on the last minute schedule at the job on the things that I wanted to do I realized several things.

I realized that without the schedule I was for the most part floating through life from day to day without really accomplishing much because though I have had goals, I did not have any kind of structure for them.

Though I had ideas and so called plans, they were never written down to make them more concrete.

I believe that a schedule written in advance could lead me to accomplish so much more on a daily basis.
02/10 Direct Link
I am fighting sleep like a mystic, no longer trying to see sleep as something to look forward to, or to tell myself that I am sleepy.

When I start reading the Dhammapada again or any Indian literature which contains Sanskrit inside of its scriptures I definitely want to write them down and be sure to know what they mean.

Now I know where the Hidden One is hiding.

I walked with a sun rayed face and a light filled body.

There is only one love that is ultimate and that is the love of Allah; The only Supreme Lover.
02/11 Direct Link
I got off the bus peacefully and begin walking across the street peacefully and suddenly this small dog barks at me startling me out of what should have been a deeper awareness.

I stared the dog down until it turned its head away.

I don't know what it is about small dogs not liking me and me not liking them.

I felt satisfied thinking of kicking this dog as though I was trying to score a Super Bowl field goal.

My thoughts towards the little mutt was, I will crush you, and I will silence you in seven different languages.
02/12 Direct Link
It was her magic Green Goddess drink that she had on sample that I tried which ensured that I would pay another visit to the Maryam Temple and then later to the temple of self-discovery as to how I really am.

How is that?

Erotica is in the air with lotus blossom incense burning, a ginger turmeric chai latte with almond milk made by the pleasant and attractive barista.

While at home I took a brief pause to check on the lemon baked fish while thinking of Japanese Erotic Zen tales, and Sexual Zen.

Erotic desires should not be ignored.
02/13 Direct Link
You have had your visions already if you have not realized it yet.

Just think back to those magical moments, during those time periods that you were not necessarily happy more than you were content and at peace with yourself.

If you can’t be comfortable with yourself and get to know yourself more deeply, then how will you ever come to self-realization.

I think self-realization never ends because if you are trying to know yourself, then there is no end to it until you let go of all the names and all the titles and just be in this moment.
02/14 Direct Link
I found myself getting all caught up into Valentine’s day with sadness as though love only happened one day out of the year.

I decided to sit down and meditate while thinking on the concept of love.

All this time you thought you were alone until you realized the silence, the faculty of hearing and sight, the breath that goes in and out; the beating heart wailing and crying for love while walking through the spiritual fire of purification.

You better start getting more acquainted with the principle of love that transcends the thoughts and mind concepts of this world.
02/15 Direct Link
I have decided that it is deemed okay to massage my balls during the Brahmacharya challenge.

What are the benefits?

The benefits are said to include improved circulation, the production of testosterone, and vitality.

While looking this up I came across the familiar name of Mantak Chia which ties in with the unread book I purchased a long time ago entitled The Multi Orgasmic Man.

It is probably one of those books that once I read it, I would have wished that I had read it a long time ago.

I guess we will just have to see about that.
02/16 Direct Link
I had a fun filled night that flew by rather fast due to the circumstances of Mr. Huckleberry Finn adventures in finding a bomb made by a complete amateur.

10:05 I'm sitting on the toilet after just arriving home.

That so-called basil pizza at Whole Foods was probably my worst pizza and not to my liking at all.

Who puts egg on their pizza?

I have serious and high doubts that the eggs on that pizza were really real eggs.

I think this is the main contributing factor as to why I am on the toilet now writing about it.
02/17 Direct Link
I should have taken a before and after picture of this closet which was seventy five percent of unrecycled plastic shopping bags and brown paper.

I was very certain that a hairy troll or some kind of monster was going to grab me through the big pile of all that recycle and say, “recycle this shit today!!!!”

With new found space this closet feels kind of cozy for some real writing adventures.

This is what you call true peace of mind.

Enjoy this moment and clean up all of your mess with a big Zen Buddhist smile on your face.
02/18 Direct Link
Is it really true that the true pleasure of man isn’t in having sex with the sexiest model and all kinds of different women, but a man's true pleasure is in manifestation of his own personal goals and aspirations?

Men are known to feel that “I am on top of the world feeling” after completing a task, goal, or solving a problem.

Do you want to know something that you can do that will help you with your projects?

Visualize yourself accomplishing that which you want to accomplish, then set out to accomplish it with solid plans and physical actions.
02/19 Direct Link
Warriors don’t come out to play, especially when they are being teased and when they’re being mocked.

You can’t be a Samurai unless you have at least one drop of Black blood. I always wondered why they never taught about the Black Samurai in my history classes.

Caw, caw, caw said the crow, as it flew above me and seemed to struggle a bit as it flew in the wind.

Oh crow help me with better perception and help me get back in touch with nature, the universe, shamanism, and this world that is said to be filled with magic.
02/20 Direct Link
16:58 Currently I am feeling a bit down but I guess it’s not all entirely that bad though I do feel like putting an end to my life and situation.

The flipside to this is that I know ending my life is not possible by suicide because I just could not see myself doing that.

It turns out that the banks were not closed today as my colleagues stated.

The lesson that I learned today is to never listen to your colleagues or anyone else for that matter without investigating the claim first, no matter how true it may sound.
02/21 Direct Link
I became aware of the sensations in my so-called body and noticed how I attached myself to those sensations as being a part of me until I told myself to let go of those feelings and to let go of those sensations I was attaching myself to.

Don't see yourself as being just a body but see yourself as being those things that are beyond the body so that in essence you contain everything that is all around you, inside of you, and beyond.

With this meditation and with these thoughts I came across another realization that was rather profound.
02/22 Direct Link
As I read the Brahmacharya article and came across Yogic definitions I knew that at some point that I was going to have to learn the Sanskrit language, the alphabet, and looking up those words I had no idea what they meant.

So, what are you supposed to do when you feel that sexual desire and urge well up inside of you?

The number one thing to do is to consciously channel that sexual energy in an upward motion to charge your chakras, and your cosmic being, to make it more cosmic, and to make your face radiate with light.
02/23 Direct Link
I did not think we would get any snow today.

Though I hoped we would not get any snow, seeing the snow actually made me feel euphoric inside knowing that I would be off for the next two days.

Later on I was thinking about Al Hadi which is the attribute of Allah that deals with guidance.

Guidance is exactly what our children and teenagers need the most from their parents; without it, they are sort of lost in this world with no sense of direction as to how or in what direction they need to go without watching television.
02/24 Direct Link
I was reading an article posted on Zen Habits where the author spoke about anxiety, and one of the things that crossed my mind was on how it was stated that one aspect of the anxiety was in wishing things were different or desiring to know that certain things would be certain so that we would not have to worry.

Since things are not certain because they are constantly changing, having anxiety is due to not realizing this concept.

I remember reading about this somewhere else where it states that nothing is permanent and that everything was subject to change.
02/25 Direct Link
She came to the kitchen looking moody and pouty.

'Is everything alright?'

'No,' she said in her dying voice.

'What's wrong?'

That is when she started talking about how she did not get enough sleep despite having gone to bed rather early last night and did not eat the two quesadillas that I had cooked for her.

“I was supposed to wake up at 08:00,” she said.

“Boo hoo hoo,” I said in my mind and told her to just go back to bed.

I don't like taking her to her Saturday modeling class but she never hears me complaining.
02/26 Direct Link
I want to start jotting down notes on what is said from other colleagues why remaining silent so that I do not play a part of that game of getting caught up in backbiting and in slander.

If I can do this I think I will also start to see a clearer picture of how the entire department is ran in the sense of who likes who and what the real problem is.

I won’t be surprised to learn that at the bottom of it all is a big instigator of whom I am beginning to catch in his lies.
02/27 Direct Link
I came across this article that was about the top ten disgusting things about women when they have their menses.

I read the comments on the article afterwards and I could see that a lot of women were not happy about the article because I guess you can say that it exposed that aspect of themselves that they try to hide.

It was like one of their own had broken ranks and revealed their little safe guarded secrets as to how nasty they can really be.

I finished the article with a upturned cringed nose and a slight disgusted smile.
02/28 Direct Link
I felt devastated once I realized that I left my keys to the apartment once again at the job.

Getting back on the bus and getting a Car 2 Go was not only a waste of time but it was also a waste of money.

My mind was preoccupied with getting lost and found that fat boy failed to see right in front of him, reprogramming the game room door, and going back and forth with my ‘think I am grown teenage daughter about money for her bus pass,’ and returning all of the company keys while forgetting my own.