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11/01 Direct Link
At some point on the train ride a devil got on and was standing behind me. I could feel his arrogance trying to put a cloak on my intelligence and throw a dark cloud over it.

I was like sorry racist devil, I’m in a Zenful state of awareness and very aware of your bad energy and negativity.

These arrogant ass motherfuckers in fancy ties and suits are really good at putting on a display of power, superiority, and this arrogant confidence that says I’m much better than all of you cultural people.

That’s Satan up close and for real.
11/02 Direct Link
The Universe is not only full of mysteries but the Universe itself is a mystery.

With this being said also know that this would mean that you are a mystery too.

Do not try to do anything,
do not try to be aware,
do not try to be mindful,
do not try to be enlightened, and do not try to simply be.

If you want to know what it takes to develop character, try going beyond the boundaries of this world and the next.

What is the use of having power and authority if you do not practice exercising it?
11/03 Direct Link
As I take time to notice and to be aware of the present moment, I can hear the sounds of the elevator moving and how it sounds when it opens its doors.

I leave the oven door open so that I can feel the warm heat coming out of it.

The heater inside of the apartment does not seem to be working at all. And I don't know why.

Suddenly I am adding this psychologist to the story of which I did not think would be any part of the story. For now I am just going with the flow.
11/04 Direct Link
When I arrived home I decided to empty out all of the kitchen cabinets above the kitchen counter like I said I was going to do for some time.

I really wanted to get the long kitchen counter cleared so that I could freely cook some curry without any obstructions in my way.

Meditate not on sex as an act but sex before it becomes the act, and the energy.

As I wore my sarong and looked at myself with the robe on I suddenly thought, African, Asiatic, fisherman, Kuei-shan, and Zen cooking.

Whatever you do simply make it Zenful.
11/05 Direct Link
The dragon has been misinterpreted and misunderstood.

There is a difference between the dragons of the west and the dragons of the east.

In the east dragons are seen as benevolent while in the west they are seen as evil.

Besides thinking of the form, people forget to realize that dragons often had powers and these powers is what you call self mastery today.

That is why you have masters and yogis in this world.

They are the true masters of all masters.

The number one thing is to definitely, increase my meditation, my exercises, and to think more clearly.
11/06 Direct Link
It was a purple satori zazen haze experience as I sat in the bed with all of the lights off.

I was just sitting there and the last question was “is this it?”

The sad and truthful answer to that question at that time was “Yes! This is it.”

Upon doing a second examination on the stillness I soon realized that there was a power in the stillness which relates to a power in just sitting.

When you are sitting you are sitting with everything else that is sitting.

You see everything for what it is in the still moment.
11/07 Direct Link
I have to attend jury duty this morning.

I knew that this shitty day was coming up.

I did not want to go and was hoping that somehow the heavens would interfere and prevent me from going somehow.

I told the clerk that I had just come off of a night shift and if I still had to stay and she said, “yes you do and your employer is required to pay for it.”

On a deep and personal level I wanted to say, “you know what fat bitch, I am not going to attend,” and then just walk out.
11/08 Direct Link
They never told you in school that your people were Kings, Queens, and Great Leaders who lead many nations.

They don’t want you to think in your mind that you can lead anything and that your best option is to take a back seat while the movie plays on versus deciding to be the director and making your own movie.

You were never meant to direct or to know anything at all about your planet and other planets whose moons orbit, and where lies the open wounded stars, while single eyed needle galaxies passes us by as we wander on.
11/09 Direct Link
When it comes to dating you’re free to date whoever you want to date and talk to whoever you want to talk to.

Neither party should have any regrets if they felt that things were not going to work out or that they eventually found somebody else or a combination of both.

Regardless to what you’re doing, having complete relaxation was the most important.

I guarantee if you can be relaxed on a constant basis when it comes to approaching a woman, relaxation will be like you’re approaching a river that leads to this grand still poetic lake that reflects.
11/10 Direct Link
So the lesson learned about Zen was not even about enlightenment at all, more than it was about being right here, right now, in the moment, as it is happening wherever you may be.

That is what you need to see now, in order to reach this so-called state, just like it was stated, ‘effortless is needed to wake up, all you have to be willing to do is simply wake up.’

We make ourselves more aware by being mindful, by being aware on how the mind operates in these moments and whatever else there is to come up ahead.
11/11 Direct Link
The Minimalist project is really coming along and it seems like the closer I get to my goal the more hesitant I am in completing it.

Why is that?

Is it because I feel like once I minimalize this place I will not have anything else to do.

Emphatically not my son.

You will have more time to do things you have really wanted to do without the eye sore and burden on your mind that you have some project that seems like it will take forever to do.

When you don’t feel like doing something start off very small.
11/12 Direct Link
As I continued my work out routine I began to see the Kung Fu in body building, and how it involves the meridians.

It is good to be always searching for the unknown and the unfamiliar with the intent of gaining knowledge.

06:16 Taking a sip of some nice Ethiopian citrus and dark cocoa coffee which is said to have a soft and velvety with notes of dark chocolate, peppery spice and a sweet citrus taste.

I came to this conclusion that embracing the inner monster, and the so called inner beast is not such a bad idea after all.
11/13 Direct Link
I now have the explanation for the rose colored color on the tip of my left light blue cuff.

I have come up with the best way to take a shower when you don't want to because it is way too freaking cold.

One of the first things that you want to do is to simply run the water until you see steam coming out.

You will want to have a towel of course and have a robe in the bathroom so that when you get out of the shower you will not be shaking and shivering in the process.
11/14 Direct Link
I asked myself the question, "how do you focus and eliminate distractions to accomplish goals?”

I said this because one thing that I notice is that when I attempt to do something, I somehow wind up doing something else.

The answer to this question is very simple.

When you set out to do something you have to set a time frame in which to do it.

“I said get your fat ass off of the computer!” commanded the commander.

Whatever you are aspiring to do, or to be, all I can say is three powerful magic words.

Practice,
practice,
practice.
11/15 Direct Link
This morning I thought more on dark matter, dark energy, noir character, and about the darkside, not just in relation to myself as a man but also in relation to the Universe.

The darkside isn’t necessarily evil just because it is dark.

I know that normally when someone says come over to the darkside you will automatically think of Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi.

Why is the darkness associated with evil to begin with?

Is the forest good during the day, but suddenly becomes evil when it becomes night?

Isn't it both the same forest, but different lighting?
11/16 Direct Link
I am not angry.

Now is the time to meditate which is also your primary focus and your source of rest.

I went into a meditation and while I was meditating I came to this point that stated to simply let go.

That included every part of me that I felt was a part of me that I felt that I was holding on to.

After this meditation and during this meditation I saw myself in water.

I soon began to feel this unexplainable feeling as though I was submerged in it and at one.

I thought about the dolphins.
11/17 Direct Link
The devil is normally depicted with horns coming out of his head.

He will carry a pitch fork with him which goes back into the Mythology time periods which means that this depiction actually came from somewhere.

The ideal came from someone who felt in their heart that this is what the devil looks like.

He made a picture depicting his ideal and told everyone else, "this is what the devil looks like."

In the days of the future the devil would be revealed; once that happened a new universe would be opened which included many dimensions of the mind.
11/18 Direct Link
What if things do move when you are not looking?

I had asked JM about how the cat was doing and I could tell that she was pissed off.

She said it was ok and then went on about how she had to pay $350.00 to get it to a doctor and for it to get its shots.

I wondered if she was trying to see if I would say I would pitch in some of my money to help her out.

My first response was to cater to her emotions.

Not catering to her emotions was my best response.
11/19 Direct Link
When you trust in the Universe you are trusting that things will go the way in your life as it is intended to be.

As you trust in the Universe don't forget that you are also trusting in God.

I was reading a quote about fake people and it stated that they had an image to uphold.

Don't we all have an image that we are trying to uphold?

I am trying to reach a goal of 31,673 words today which would get me caught up to where I should be Nanowrimo wise.

That’s basically 6,239 words that I need.
11/20 Direct Link
I was glad to arrive to a warm apartment this morning when I walked in. It was really that home sweet home feeling.

My plans were to pay off my bills and then wash the dishes before I started writing, or let them soak for a while.

I promised myself a toke if I paid all of my bills off but then that shit got really frustrating when I tried to pay a hospital bill asking me for all kind of group codes, until I just said, “fuck it, I will just get a money order and mail it off.”
11/21 Direct Link
It was nice to come home to a warmer apartment than it was yesterday.

One of the tenants was complaining about how it was eighty degrees inside of her apartment and that she could not turn the heat down.

Little did she know that I was willing to take her eighty degrees; if I was really feeling too hot I would simply take off all my clothes and walk around the house naked.

Allow yourself to open and expand by simply letting go.

I asked myself how would I feel if I had no wants, no desires, and no needs.
11/22 Direct Link
Our next subject is psycho analysis which in truth is really an analysis of ourselves.

Everyone has a psycho analysis that they should attend to.

I am not talking about paying money out of your pocket to some shrink whose only desire is for a few dollars more.

I am talking about sitting down to meditate and analyzing yourself, being truthful about everything that comes up, even the shit that you hate.

Bring that shit above the water so that it can bask in the warmth and the sunlight of the rays of knowledge and the rays of the sun.
11/23 Direct Link
So while I was on the balcony the possibility arose in my mind that somebody may have been partying here like this was there place, and may have even walked all throughout the apartment without my knowledge.

While I know the prior did not happen I could not say the same thing about the balcony, with cigarette buds on them.

I am sure that they were blown over here by the winds of mother nature and that these cigarette buds which I didn’t smoke had came from the next door neighbors.

Snow and rain made it stick to the balcony.
11/24 Direct Link
Today I read an article on fear along the lines of understanding and overcoming your fears.

One particular passage that I found interesting was the sentence that said "If you can find out what gives your fear its energy, you will stand a much better chance of removing that fear from your life."

Finding out what the root of our fears are is the ticket that will take us to another level.

I personally feel that the less fear that you have in life, the more freedom you will have to express yourself in place of it in the now.
11/25 Direct Link
It was rather certain that the woman who had went into the bathroom was a homeless woman.

Once she came out of the bathroom she had stated that her right leg was bleeding.

I asked her if she was okay and she said that she was.

I walked her out of the building.

We began talking more on the plaza drive where we talked for several minutes.

She stated that she was Chinese and Indian.

I had already guessed that she was probably Native American and could see the Chinese portion that was in her too, with the Native American.
11/26 Direct Link
After doing my Isha, and a little exercise I went to the balcony to commune with nature and the winds and the stars shining above.

The air feels nice and crisp.

I can see why those individuals were sitting outside of their balconies.

It would be nice to go bike riding which is more fun and energizing in comparison to just sitting on your balcony, unless of course you were writing the master piece writing of all time destined to be a best seller.

It's good to have a strong imagination on how you would do things in real life.
11/27 Direct Link
Everything that I said about going to the gym and going to the store turned out to be true as it benefited me.

I came back home and had a little Gorilla in the Mist.

Did you know that Fidel Castro died recently?

I thought that maybe he had died a long time ago but that they were keeping it a secret.

I was thinking about the lifestyle of gangsters and how they have to always watch their backs.

I then thought about the Samurai and the Samurai code and how in some ways gangsters are actually living that lifestyle.
11/28 Direct Link
A rather interesting thought came across my mind.

The thought went along the context of ‘what would I be if there was no such thing as religion and no such thing as Zen.’

I’m not saying that religion wouldn't exist. The question that’s asked is ‘what if I didn’t know anything about the various religions?’

What kind of life would I live?

Would I have morals?

I came to the conclusion that I would be love.

Overall and ultimately, I think that I would be love and that more than likely I would live my life according to my nature.
11/29 Direct Link
I found myself thinking about the Light in various ways which included me being imbued by it and then seeing light as a glowing bright ball.

I think the light in itself is another subject to discuss because of its many dimensions and mysteries.

Despite me possibly have had sprained my upper left back muscle from working out I’m still telling myself that working out makes you feel really great and if you’re feeling really great, it will rub off on others too.

People don't see you when you workout but they sense and feel it on a different level.
11/30 Direct Link
My final statement regarding Nanowrimo besides being sad and happy at the same time is the editing part.

I realize that editing is a part of writing but I find myself not wanting to be involved with editing at all, though I have never done much editing besides written reports, one hundred words, and my personal journal from time to time.

I think it's not about editing more than it is about me trying to make an actual story out of it.

I never read the editing part of the book because I never saw myself doing the editing part.