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10/01 Direct Link
I am a Writer with a capital W.

Who cares if I’m not making money for what I write if I choose not to publish what I do not want to be published?

How about if I just love to write in the same manner that a painter loves to paint, and a skateboarder loves to skateboard, and a surfer loves to surf, and a Kama Sutra man loves to fuck.

Remember the days when you had no choice but to confront someone face to face when there were no cell phones, telephones, televisions, radios, and a horse for transportation.
10/02 Direct Link
Do you want to know why the white man says put your hands up where I can see them?

One of the reasons is because he fears for his life and secondly it’s because he knows that the hands are deadly and that the hands can be faster than lightning.

The last thing that he wants is to find himself being choked out on the ground in a Jujitsu move that leaves him fully incapacitated.

Learn how to feel the day, and how to feel the night, so that you can be welcome into the vastness of the psychic world.
10/03 Direct Link
Don't go chasing ideas about romantic love and spiritual enlightenment.

I was reading about Romeo and Juliet and how they were crazy to commit suicide because of this idealized type of love. It’s believed Shakespeare made this play for satire purposes.

Embracing your emotions means you don't try to change them or wish that they were different, you simply observe them for whatever they are.

Observe your thoughts and see how they sometimes tend to influence your actions at times and behaviors.

If you really think about it, intimacy is about honesty and without honesty there can be no intimacy.
10/04 Direct Link
When you think about the actions that you take from one moment to the next, not one single action should go about unobserved.

No matter what that action may be, such as the movement of your hand or the blinking of your eye, always try to be aware of every single action that you take.

I was thinking in my mind that in life we should expect the unexpected but in a way that we should not expect to know what’s going to happen; like being in a dream where anything is possible through any doorway or behind any corner.
10/05 Direct Link
“I guess you can say that I have some kind of image to uphold,” said Mr. X.

“Do people even care what you do behind closed doors?” asked the psychologist.

“Caring is one of the reasons why I never felt comfortable talking dirty on those chat lines because of an image I have held of myself and God forbid if the neighbors could hear me talking through the adjacent walls.”

The neighbors would say “Oh my God I thought he was so holy and religious but did you hear him talking about fucking pussy and getting his sexual desires fulfilled?”
10/06 Direct Link
I wanted to take the study of people to an entirely different level. I didn’t want to go off of anything that I had read about people watching so I decided to observe them and write about it instead.

Study what they are wearing, what they are carrying, the type of shoes that they have on; an area most people rarely paid attention to.

Observe their hands, how people express themselves with their hands, notice their body postures, the expression of people's faces, look them in the eyes, notice the spatialness and relationalness of their face in its various proportions.
10/07 Direct Link
In this meditation, it became known and realized; in reference to the meaning of ‘each breath is the Universe.’

How is it that the simple things can seem so complex and the complex things seem so difficult.

I know it sounds like a paradox but it largely has to do with letting go of everything and accepting everything at the same time.

Whatever happens; happens, just as a river stream flows.

There is something much bigger than you; far bigger than what you can imagine.

Suspend all laws, rules, and concepts of time.

Live beyond this and truly be free.
10/08 Direct Link
I took a walk on the wild side but there wasn’t really too much wildness going on.

The excitement came as I ate sushi feeling like some important Black Japanese man who had more important business to do such as writing and working on the Minimalist Project.

Sometimes I feel like a creature that came out of the sea like Godzilla.

Imagine if there was a real Godzilla out there deep in the ocean somewhere near Rio De Jeneiro.

I was studying people very deeply and I had never seen such fake delusional plasticity up close before in my life.
10/09 Direct Link
I find myself, asking myself, or trying to find a way to live a better life to where I can experience this better way from one moment to the next.

I find that part of this better way is based on several experiences that I have had in the past.

I should not base the better way on those time periods since I cannot go back to those time periods.

What I need to realize is that those times were due to me being aware and it is awareness of the present moment that I should be really focused on.
10/10 Direct Link
I have been and had been asking the question as to what could I be doing on a moment by moment basis to be more in the now.

The answer to that question is to pay attention to the mind in the now at all times.

If you can do that then you can see how the mind operates and how conniving, surreptitious, and cunning, it can be like a guilty little kid feigning eyelash innocence.

If you can observe the mind from one moment to the next, then you will start to learn the true meaning of self control.
10/11 Direct Link
Before I decided to do my one hour meditation or even attempt the one hour meditation I told myself that regardless to rather or not I can complete the entire meditation I can at least still sit the remaining amount of time in the position of sitting.

Be still in the process of training the body like the mind.….

While in my meditation I told myself "don't embrace the moment, but become the moment.

How do you become the moment?

You become the moment by becoming everything that is going on in the moment.

Wherever you are
is the moment.
10/12 Direct Link
I was reading The Solution To Social Anxiety.

An answer was given as to what the cause of social anxiety was. The author says “if you have social anxiety, it’s highly likely that you had negative experiences in childhood involving neglect, abuse, criticism, or ridicule from family members and/or peers. Such experience created and reinforced the idea that you were somehow not good enough, and taught you that you need to strive to be better, avoid mistakes, and work hard to get people to like you.”

After reading this I started to think about the fucked-up aspects of my childhood.
10/13 Direct Link
Technology has become a monster as we begin to lose physical touch and feelings for each other to the point that we are afraid to express ourselves towards each other as human beings.

Even if you never accomplished anything at all in the day at least be able to say that you completed your prayers and that you did your writing.

A pile of clothes need to be folded up, a big mess in the living room and in the study lounge room that needs to be organized, fixtures that need to be fixed and projects that need to begin.
10/14 Direct Link
I was breathing with the mala beads today and the results were beyond profound. I recommend that you continue the breathing practice.

My search should be more on what is truth than it should be on me trying to find somebody else to fill my life.

The truth cannot be explained with mere words.

Try to search for the truth beyond the word search, the ideas, and many images flashing through my mind.

If you can manage to calm the mind you can begin to see.

Calm the mind with each conscious breath and push yourself further with iron weights.
10/15 Direct Link
It would be nice to get a pedicure, then a foot massage, then a full body massage, and perhaps get my dick sucked too. After all of that I’m sure that that would be more than enough to activate my inner meridians.

I could never quite understand how Chinese chess is like a sword fight until I started to think about the moves of the pieces on the board.

Back in the day brave men were called real warriors. Today they are called rebels and revolutionaries, while they decorate their knights in shining armor for dropping bombs on defenseless countries.
10/16 Direct Link
I continue to ask myself, ‘who am I?’.

I do not want to go by what books have stated or scriptures.

I want to know for the sake of my own knowing, which is a type of knowing that does not need validation or proof.

As I ask myself this question I notice that I have to constantly strip myself of any name or title that comes up because I know that the essence of me is beyond a name or a title.

When I close my eyes and ask this question I go into a deeper state of consciousness.
10/17 Direct Link
So I have closed the blinds to avoid distractions and do not wonder why I have always found the world of spies to be so thrilling as well as entertaining and yet I have never read a spy novel before.

I am still interested in creating a small mini graphic comic book based on the things that I would like to be accomplishing on a day to day basis with the times written down also in inner space.

I am thinking on how some people learn better by visualization, some by worded instructions, and some by doing it hands on.
10/18 Direct Link
So the black thing waving and hanging from the roof turned out to be some kind of tarp of some kind. Initially I thought it was a sign that my death was so near as to envelop me from all sides and corners of the Earth.

Even the tree was blowing and shaking in a manner that made me wonder if the end was indeed near or if I should be looking out for a tornado.

At other times the black hanging thing was like death hovering just waiting for the single command where I would be pretty much sayonara.
10/19 Direct Link
It’s 08:59 and I’m feeling rather burned out now from the twelve hours that I worked. I really do not feel like writing too much and close to telling myself to do nothing at all besides writing.

If you remember yesterday you talked briefly on noticing the small details of things such as their lines and shapes, textures, and so on.

Take it to another level and remember every aspect of your emotions and feelings, the thoughts going through your mind, the anticipations, and whatever else is going on in your immediate area surrounded by various sounds, waves, and vibrations.
10/20 Direct Link
I got off work earlier than usual which I was excited about but not excited when I had to walk several blocks to find a C2G and then having to walk the rest of the way home with the view of the bus just leaving the bus stop.

I walked what seemed like so many miles by the cold degrees that caused my hands to feel as though they were frozen.

At that point I was in between cussing out the bus and the bus driver, or letting it go and just keep walking the rest of the way home.
10/21 Direct Link
Oh I see that you are learning fast grasshopper. I was able to say that without caring what she thought of me because that is what I really felt like saying in the moment which is never a rehearsed line.

Feeling very relaxed, comfortably buzzed, feelings on positively good, with pure soul in the mix.

The curry turkey wrap was the bomb and I realized that it was the same turkey curry that the deli uses for their sandwiches too.

I savored every bit of that sandwich along with a cup of turmeric ginger chai latte with almond milk too.
10/22 Direct Link
I purchased this mindfulness magazine which seems to have shrank in size from its original print.

I wonder what it would be like to have my own magazine publication based on the things that I loved on a personal level.

Another aspect of myself is trying to find this certain mind state to take upon so that I’m comfortable with it and can float through any problems.

What I have to remember is ‘this is it, there is no other place to go besides here.

You have to embrace everything here in the now regardless of any hardships or difficulties.
10/23 Direct Link
Falling in love can be easy and so dangerous too.

Hearts are bound to be broken and in need to be put back together and healed again.

I could not believe how people were dying on 1001 Ways To Die.

They were deaths that could have been avoided in many cases.

Despite how gory it seemed, this show was worth watching because it shows how death can come so suddenly without expectations.

Always try to keep death as a reminder in your life.

While you are living, you should strive to make the very best of it moment by moment.
10/24 Direct Link
It was Eureka when I began to see writing as a process that opened up avenues to a whole entirely new world.

I have been thinking on what I want my Nanowrimo story to be on.

I was thinking along the lines of Love and Light searching for my true self, stepping out of my fear box, and finding my edge kind of writing.

Among other aspects of mindfulness consider the control of the facial expressions through relaxing the muscles.

It is not just about the shoulders but wherever there is tension in your body, learn how to relax it.
10/25 Direct Link
I had to look at the attachment to how things were, versus how they really are.

In this particular case I noticed that it was not just my wife that I wanted to come back but it was also about wanting the family to be together again.

While this is a good positive way to want things to be, the fact of the matter is that it was not that way.

In my case we would have to say that the way it really is now is simply that I am one of the loneliest people in the world now.
10/26 Direct Link
Am I playing with the fire of desire ready to consume me up?

If you study desire up close you just might be surprised that as a master this is and these are the kinds of things that you should be studying and engaging in.

It’s okay to think about the sciences, sciencing things up, breaking them down, rebuilding, reshaping, and molding them into that which represents the truth.

I keyed in a few words in the search engine and came across this word glossophobia.

It’s supposed to denote someone who is afraid to speak or have anxieties about speaking.
10/27 Direct Link
So I looked in the mirror and said "mirror, mirror, on the wall who is the most handsome of them all, said the king.”

“Why it is you said the mirror."

Those were my exact words.

I walked outside of the mirror in the bathroom busting out with hilarious laughter and a big smile on my face when I said as a mad poet, “who cares what people think about the words that come out of my mouth!”

Vishuddhi chakra is now informed and free to express itself.

Robotic android compute reload prepare for the ultimate freedom.

I am art.
10/28 Direct Link
I dug up a Zen book that I had with stories of Zen patriarchs of which I have never read before and wondered when I actually purchased this book.

One monk of particular interest that I found interesting was Kuei-shan for obvious reasons.

It's all in the name son, who was born to a divine and holy woman.

I bought some incense and those pair of brown boots I had always been talking about. Words cannot describe how good I felt buying myself a pair of nice boots. It felt good to do something for myself instead of everybody else.
10/29 Direct Link
I was rather upset that they did not have Nag Champa massage oils at Fascinations despite having the bottle proudly on display.

You are living in the Wild Wild West where it is okay to wear boots, ponchos, and cowboy hats.

I see that you have learned the Wild Wild West walk.

Relaxing is not just about relaxing the body but it means that you have to relax the mind, your emotions, your energy, and your vibrations.

I wound up seeing The Magnificent Seven and I have to say that it was a magnificent movie in more way than one.
10/30 Direct Link
I saw this angel statue that I never saw before. It was an angel kissing a woman before her last breath as stated in the information on the park stand.

If you want more art in your life become an artist.

If you want more love in your life become a lover.

If you want more sex in your life become sex.

How do you become sex?

On the flip side you don’t have to become anything at all, especially since you already are that which you’re supposed to be to begin with in this moment and in this time.
10/31 Direct Link
Perhaps on the death bed we would have wished that we had taken more risks and more chances in life.

I don't want to ever have regrets on my death bed. I want to strive to live my life to the fullest.

There is no contract that says tomorrow is guaranteed or even the next moment.

Find your edge.

While we desire for things to be other than the present moment we miss the magic, the power, and the mysticalness of the present moment.

Pay attention to where you are at and be fully present and aware of your breathing.