12/01 Direct Link
Do you know what it takes to make a diamond?

I read that before a diamond is a diamond it is carbon [which is black in color] and due to pressure and intense heat causes the carbon to form into diamonds.

It is a good scenario to think about when trying to accomplish something.

Presently I’m going under certain kinds of pressures and have added pressure to myself by deciding to do my fasting.

With all of the pressure combined, I am aware that it will either break me or make me into something brand new on a transformative level.
12/02 Direct Link
Contemplated on the precious aspects of time after doing a five minute meditation and ten minute Malay studies.

Time is like a stopwatch as the numbers continue moving, stopping for no one.

I wondered what it would be like to lay down in a casket, or if I was dead physically while another part of me was very much alive.

I wondered what regrets would go through my mind, or if my final destination was eternity.

Most of the time women are sweet when they want something; quite calculative in the things that they do and why they do them.
12/03 Direct Link
An engineer is a person who designs, builds, or maintains engines, machines, or public works, a person trained in a branch of engineering, especially as a professional, the operator or supervisor of an engine, especially a locomotive or an aircraft ship, a skillful contriver or *originator of something, design and guild a machine structure, skillfully or artfully arrange an event or situation to occur, modify an organism by manipulation of its genetic material.

On the other hand, a social engineer; social engineering is the application of sociological principles to specific social problems.

I am an engineer.

I am a mechanic.
12/04 Direct Link
I give today’s massage a very low score.

That aunty did a half ass job and I am not going to lie and say that I did not contemplate going to another massage place to make up for the loss.

Unfortunately once I reached the other place I was simply told, “We busy right now!”

I kind of know what she meant, as she came to the door with her hands full of massagie oils.

They need to hire some extra staff so that they do not go through these kind of situations; because it is very bad for business.
12/05 Direct Link
Once again I heard that voice inside of me say get rid of everything, including your writing.

You begin to see where your attachments are the strongest and then you have to question yourself regarding them.

It’s okay to be good at things and to want to do things in life, just don’t be so attached to it that if it were not available to you that you would get all bent out of shape.

While in meditation you focus on the silence, the stillness; the remembrance of keeping the body and the mind poised in all cases and situations.
12/06 Direct Link
For now I would like to go with the flow of the silence instead of listening to music as well as possibly reading some of my online purchased books.

Read in the name of thy Lord who creates and think about the Creator that created you.

Do not die on the deathbed with regrets in your life that you wished you would have done.

The definition for courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc, without fear, bravery, to act in accordance with one’s beliefs, especially in spite of criticism.
12/07 Direct Link
So what happened on my bus ride?

I noticed that a large portion of the people on the bus were from India. Even if it was just a handful of Indians on the bus it was the smell that I smelled, and the language that was being spoken so loudly that made it appear that there was more Indians on that bus than it actually was.

After rearranging some daily duties required at the job I soon realized that the more organized you are the better.

Being organized makes your life more effective, and helps it to run more smoothly.
12/08 Direct Link
a constant mantra
on a daily basis.

Mental phenomena,
the subject,
matter of ideas;
affecting the mind,
a function of awareness,
feeling motivation.

The study of correlations
bodily mechanisms.
healing and wondering
front to back
mental and the spiritual
the miracle of water
the vibration of thoughts
create geometric patterns.

Atomic densities of the wall
a leaf more delicate
conducive to
well being
mindful breathing
relaxation of the body
in the present moment
the root of
daily practice.

Hindu texts
Vishnu Purana
the five Nitya karmas
the recommended
daily bath.

Soft rose petals
melt away
anger and hostility.
12/09 Direct Link
I would like to make love to my woman fully clothed in the Kama Sutra way.

When you walk about here and there and everywhere you should consider the manner in which you carry and conduct yourself.

Self control means taking the time to think before you act and to be conscious of every single movement that you make.

If you want to get closer to God, all you have to do is simply shut up, be still, and simply listen.

It’s good to write stuff down on paper so that you can chart the progress of your personal goals.
12/10 Direct Link
My December fasting is not going all that great, and I have lost track of everything it seems, including my focus.

I am not reading the Quran parts like I have wanted to and I feel like almost giving up. I decided to drink that lemonade because I did not get to prepare for the day like I would have wanted to.

Besides all of this, it does not mean that I am giving up on my religion and on my thoughts and ideas and I will continue to strive to improve myself in the best manner that I can.
12/11 Direct Link
Do rock the boat like Clint Eastwood did in the Spaghetti Westerns.

I think I rocked Jelly Bean's boat recently. She has been acting like a real bitch lately and I think it is the time of the month for her.

I think she got real mad when I said I might start delegating breaks since everybody likes to wait to take them at the last minute when it is obvious that it will overlap the 06:00 period.

I am having visions of a Black Mystic Lion, with an inner fire burning, that is attained through fasting and conscious awareness.
12/12 Direct Link
When you say I’m here and know that everywhere you look is the I; such as the wall, the books, the mattress, the bed, the carpet, the veins flowing in my feet, and the thoughts going through my mind as the I then you are getting somewhere.

There is no root of it all.

This is the aspect that confounds us all. It confounds us because we are trying to figure it out with our very limited mathematical theories and college university degrees.

We forget what it means to be able to sit in the silence and really feel peaceful.
12/13 Direct Link
Should a man sit down when he urinates?

According to the Hadith he should.

One of the best reasons that I can think of as to why a man should sit down to urinate is because oftentimes when he does urinate it doesn’t all land in the toilet.

Some of the urination lands on the floor, on the side of the toilet, and on the toilet seat.

Some scientific reports states that sitting down is better because you clear out all of your bladder in the sitting down position.

Try it for yourself to see if you notice any differences.
12/14 Direct Link
Women are not rational more than they are emotional. Men are more rational and not all emotional.

Men do have emotions but they do not get overwhelmed by it. Men do things differently than women do.

Women do subtle things all of the time.

All women are like the woman that I read about in Key Logger, even the so called righteous ones.

Why do I say this?

I say this because I caught one in a lie and though the lie was minor, it was still a lie and a small lie is prone to become a bigger one.
12/15 Direct Link
People do not see how things relate to one another because they have lost the very sense of relatedness.

Oftentimes we live life so fake with each other as individuals.

We are so afraid to simply be ourselves and not care what anybody thinks about us.

There was always the dark side of the moon parts but those had to be tucked somewhere in a cage because they would not be a benefit when taking the uphill road.

In the end Isa out shined every single one.

I am turning that place into the dream because dreams do come true.
12/16 Direct Link
Dare to be human, to make errors, and plenty of mistakes.

You could look at labor as something that you do towards your goals.

If you study creation such as birds and insects, you can see how labor is put into practice and how it’s done without complaints.

How to be invisible?

I do not think I have to really try after seeing two girls from the bar pretend like they did not see me or recognize me at the store.

One way to make yourself invisible is to realize the symbolicalness behind having no head; being the headless seer.
12/17 Direct Link
Recently I have been very interested in reading at least the first chapter of the book Mental Purification And Healing, The Sufi Message Volume IV by Hazrat Inayat Khan.

One of the areas that it covers include the thoughts.

The negative ones are non productive, a waste of time, and does not do us any good.

Oftentimes we tend to look outside of ourselves and think our enemies are out there outside of us.

I remember reading a few lines in the The Dhammapada and how it stated that the ‘conquest of one’s self is the greatest victory of all.’
12/18 Direct Link
The first thing I did when I arrived home besides washing my hands, putting down my bag, and a few groceries was go straight to sleep.

I took off all my work clothes down to my thermos and my under t-shirt and slept.

Well, I did make a few chess moves here and there and checked my unanswered WhatsApp messages, but other than that I went straight to sleep thinking about what seemed like a dream after everything that had happened in the laundromat.

I think probably one of the best teachings in the world is to love yourself first.
12/19 Direct Link
Myth or Fact?

As human beings, like ants, we are meant to be social.

Being social should be something that takes place on a global level. Everyone takes care of their planet and make it a better place to live for everyone who sets foot here.

We could actually be far more advanced today than we are if people were not thinking about money so much.

As I thought on the thoughts that I thought and was thinking there was a point where my thoughts seemed to act as a shield, which made me think about the Lama’s cosmic egg.
12/20 Direct Link
Violet Conversations
Feeling all alone
In the wilderness
Under the stars
Makes me feel comfortable.

As a man
No longer afraid
What I do
Being one with
The Universe.

In this headless state
Neither here
Neither there
In the dream
For heavens sake
Like Hercules
Blacks were Greeks
In mythological poses
That spoke beyond
Psychology and
A poised man
Named Philosophy
The Philosopher.

It would be worth my time to do things to improve myself, do something I love, finish a project, learn a new language, meditate, be patient, do some origami, write a short story, or even draw something.
12/21 Direct Link
Before you pursue anything, clean up these compilations all around the house and recreate your metaphors.

Oftentimes people underestimate the silence because oftentimes they have been disconnected from the silence.

Do you want to know why the silence is so powerful and why it drives some people absolutely crazy?

One reason is because some people can’t stand to hear their own thoughts or they’re afraid to come face to face with themselves.

Seek the face of God is one of the commands that is in the Holy Quran but it is interpreted differently by some of the so called scholars.
12/22 Direct Link
When someone learns a lesson, in a way you could say that the person has mastered it or is at least knowledgeable enough about it, so that if they were questioned about it they would be able to have a response.

Learning a lesson is not just something you find in a book, for there are life lessons to learn too.

Do you keep on doing the same thing that brings you down?

Do you keep repeating the same cycles that you are trying to break free from?

Do not despair; you can accomplish what you will with your mind.
12/23 Direct Link
Before the day ends, I have another round of chest exercises to go through. I am somewhat hesitant because I can really feel that pain feeling in my chest area from a few days before. I tried to massage it a bit and that is when I told myself that the best remedy would probably be a self massage remedy. It feels good feeling this kind of pain as it is a clear indication that my work out is at least paying off.

He had entered the 36 chambers, learned the 99 attributes, and became wiser than a Chinese dragon.
12/24 Direct Link
I think I have enough water for the soup.

I don’t think I’m really calculating the fact that tomorrow no stores will be open. That means the only water I will have access to is the nasty ass city tap water.

The city makes it nasty. You could probably do some studies to verify this by going from one state to the next; evaluating every single little city, every single town, and each individual household.

I just learned that there’s a book called The Metamorphosis written by Franz Kafka, a German man.

The book is studied in Colleges and Universities.
12/25 Direct Link
Do not go back to sleep.

I kept telling myself this as I started to feel drowsy and felt like laying down.

I made some coffee and black tea instead.

I sat against the wall and began drinking my drink. It didn’t take long before I was nodding off.

Eventually I lied down on the carpet with my bed bug war zone pillow.

Later on I had heard some outside noise outside of my hermit dwelling and proceeded to investigate in a Ninjitsu like style, with the kana, entering into the darkness, into the stillness, until I felt safe again.
12/26 Direct Link
Last night I dealt with a fist fight on the sixth floor.

Here was one prime example as to how low percentage occupancy did not necessarily mean that we would have a slow and quiet night.

A part of me was upset about the management's decision to cut the manpower down. The other part of me was just thankful that I was not stabbed, shot, or received any injuries in the process of breaking the fight up.

What was the cause of the fight?

I am sure that it was over something very minute like some woman named ugly duckling.
12/27 Direct Link
I’ll do as the Japanese man said about his work; one at a time, one at a time. In truth this is all you can do properly.

13:00 would mark the third time that my ex called me asking me when I would come and pick up Kakak.

I’m starting to think however that the real reason why she called me was because she wanted to hear my voice.

After she left her message about laundry money I had no desires to talk to her.

I was very touched when my wife had stated that she had missed my presence.
12/28 Direct Link
If you want to center yourself it is important to meditate.

When you meditate it is like you are gathering yourself together by focusing on the moment and going deep within yourself.

You will soon begin to realize that not only are you the center of self but the center of the center within the Universe.

In truth the true center is not a particular place that you can point to more than it is a certain type of certainty.

Before there can be action there has to be thought.

Thoughts can be changed and become empty like the wind.
12/29 Direct Link
Kutai stated 'the truth of suffering.' All of life knows suffering and nobody gets what they want out of life.

Jutai stated 'the truth of the cause of suffering.' The cause of suffering is ignorance and clinging. Wanting is the problem, desire, craving of the passions, and craving for gratification.

Mettai stated 'the truth of the cessation of suffering.' There is a way to end suffering by learning not to want it, extinguishing all human ignorance and karma.

Dotai has stated 'the truth of the cessation of suffering.' This is the way to end suffering which is the eightfold path.
12/30 Direct Link
How does a killer or assassin go about carrying themselves in the day to day world?

Fighting, being strong, along with the word ‘ganbatte’ was my encouragement today.

While doing my prayer it occurred to me that the straight path was a path that required facing obstacles.

What kind of obstacles?

I would say any obstacles that come in our way to stop us from achieving our goals.

Instead of sending out vibes of hatred and destruction try sending out vibes of love and healing instead towards yourself first and then towards others.

Meditation is the key to mental soundness.
12/31 Direct Link
Today is New Year's Eve according to the Gregorian calendar. Currently I am having mixed emotions about this year passing us by.

Learn how to listen more to your body.

Since everything is all connected it would be worth your while to pay attention to the smallest of details all the way down to your thoughts.

Every thought that we think goes out into the atmosphere.

Thoughts are like magnets and will attract according to what you project.

One mode of mind that I like to keep is positive vibrations sung Bob Marley as he states in his positive song.