07/01 Direct Link
Today is the first day of decluttering.

For the most part I am done with the magazine project. The only thing I want to do now is put them in boxes according to their categories.

I have come up with a means of working out for each part of my body if I do not have a lot of time to do a workout.

Yesterday I simply did ten reps for each area of the body which included the arms, shoulders, and the chest.

I felt good afterwards, despite the fact that I was fasting on a very empty stomach.
07/02 Direct Link
When you perform an action no matter how small or great, keep in mind that every single action and thought should be taken as a Zenful act, or as a mystical action in nature.

Learn how to pay closer attention to all the things that you do, no matter how minute they are.

If a person doesn’t have a goal or a vision to strive for in life, then why are they living?

While doing one thing the mind is already thinking of the next versus what is going on now.

Zen is something that has to be constantly practiced.
07/03 Direct Link
The Zen of washing the dishes requires a simple calmness of mind. I have always enjoyed washing the dishes because it is almost like a meditation to me.

I would not say that I was necessarily bored or anything, but I was thinking out of curiosity what it would be like to write 10,000 words in a single day.

To my surprise there was some information about this, with a means to how it can be attained.

I figured that if I could write 10,000 words a day, I would be done with a novel in just one week’s time.
07/04 Direct Link
I do not want to do tomorrow what I could accomplish today.

When it comes to cooking in the kitchen, never leave the kitchen unattended.

I didn’t know I turned the stove on to get ready to prepare some eggs I wanted to cook. I poured some oil in the pan and it caught fire immediately.

Alarm bells went off in the pit of my stomach as I had never seen something like this before.

Luckily the flames went out once I removed the pan from the stove.

I was certain that this apartment building was going to burn down.
07/05 Direct Link
Today I made a big dent in my progress towards getting more organized.

I had an idea today to write a short story entitled Mary Jane Chop Sticks.

I acknowledge that I have no power which is the source of all power; a perfect example of a Zen koan.

Do you think that hell is just some myth and that you will not burn in it yourself, or that there is only parts of the Quran that are true and other parts are not and just referring to something else?

Do you believe that there is a garden that exists?
07/06 Direct Link
It was not my intention to miss my Fajr prayers this morning. I had stayed up practically all night reading a book about the Jinn that talks about them by using the Holy Quran and the authentic Hadiths as a reference, thus removing some of the misconceptions about who the Jinn are.

Some people think that all Jinn are evil which isn’t the case, as there is some Jinn who submit to Allah.

Some people do not know that there is a verse where Allah [God] is saying ‘I have only created Jinns and men, that they may serve me.’
07/07 Direct Link
I called off this evening since I knew that I was not going to have time to do what needed to be done.

I had no time to shower, prepare my meal, or do my writing.

It rained like hell after I hung up the phone.

In the old school days, men expressed their feelings more.

If men express their feelings today it’s made out to be a thing for sissies which isn’t the case.

We need to get back in touch with ourselves as men and not be afraid to be who we really want to be as men.
07/08 Direct Link
As we revisit the feminist movement we have to realize that it was completely orchestrated and really destroyed the family structure.

Calling men dogs and pigs did not help men to increase their self esteem neither.

Nowadays many men are comfortable with being labeled as men according to women’s perspective, and will try to hide those aspects that women don’t agree with.

Most of what is stated about what a woman wants is based off of men pleasing them.

While men are so busy pleasing women they neglect themselves and their needs and wonder why they are not being meant.
07/09 Direct Link
Presently it’s a bit windy outside with stratus clouds outside of the window. I don’t really know the names of the different cloud structures. I am sure most people do not know this.

If you were to ask someone what kind of cloud is in the sky they wouldn’t know.

I have to admit that as a writer knowing the names of things is very helpful when it comes to writing and trying to describe or explain something.

I’m feeling very tired and sore, especially in my shoulder area.

A nice shoulder massage is what I really need right now.
07/10 Direct Link
I had this idea that instead of buying new socks all the time like I did today, I should look into mending my socks that have holes in them instead by using a handy sewing needle and some thread.

I heard that the remedy to fight foot fungus under the toenails is to soak them in vinegar.

I wonder how long a person would have to soak them and if this would be something that would be instant or something that would take several days.

Will your feet smell very bad after soaking them for so long in smelly vinegar?
07/11 Direct Link
One of the biggest mistakes I could have ever made in life is trying to be perfect.

Today I have realized that no matter how hard I try, I can never be perfect.

Why do I say this?

I say this because perfection is nothing more than an idea.

What is perfect to one person will never be perfect to another person no matter how hard you try.

The only thing that you can do in life is to do your best.

Worrying about things in life is not going to make me a better person or change my condition.
07/12 Direct Link
I was looking up the difference between ideal and idea.

Ideal is more of a result of something that you have in your mind that could be accomplished but not necessarily possible.

To some people it was ideal to have a utopian society.

Idea is more about what you are thinking in your mind.

Going to the park at night and making love in a small boat in the middle of the lake is a good idea.

An idea is something considered feasible of happening versus having an ideal that all human beings would never fight and kill each other.
07/13 Direct Link
I wanted to write briefly concerning the smile and why it is used.

It was in my opinion that the smile can be sometimes used or performed to mask uncomfortable feelings that a person might be having.

While the smile can be deceptive in one sense, it could also be genuine on the other side of the coin.

The side note to smiling is that in Islam it is recommended to smile according to the Hadith’s and the way of the Prophet (s.a.w.).

I would personally rather see a person smiling, than a person with a frown on their face.
07/14 Direct Link
Today I will make a copy of my passport for her and keep my word bond like I said I would and mail it off to her which is 9,070 miles away.

I would also like to stop by the pet shop to see about possibly getting a bird or a cat for a lonely man like myself, since it seems that no one wants to live with me anymore as though I was the worst thing that came on this planet since we have had man.

For my upcoming birthday maybe I’ll just get wind chimes for the balcony.
07/15 Direct Link
In surah 6 ayat 52 I came across a verse which mentions the face of Allah. I know some Quran translations will not mention face though it is clear in Arabic what a face is.

Poor translations is one reason why I would like to learn the Arabic language since some people like to play schematics with their translations into English.

I was thinking about the Chinese Quran and the Uighur’s and how their treatment is almost equivalent to the Palestinians in Palestine.

Don't get lost in your pain,
know that one day
your pain will become the cure.

07/16 Direct Link
The apartment is still a mess and I’m sure if my wife came here now she would have a big time fit.

My main focus now is getting these files organized before I go back to work.

The vast radiant beach
and cool jeweled moon,
couples race down by its quiet side,
and we laugh like soft mad children
smug in brains of infancy.

I found these words written on a piece of yellow sticky pad I wrote a long time ago.

I knew right away that it was by The Doors but had forgotten the name of the song.
07/17 Direct Link
I sit by the window in tears as I reflect on the family I love, making statements of not wanting to come back here to live with me anymore.

I know that I have not been the latest and greatest husbands and fathers, but it isn’t like I was one of those fathers who abandoned the family, coming home drunk, beating the children and my wife until her face was black and blue.

I wonder if they had forgotten the many sacrifices I had made working overtime, the road trips, food on the table, and the simple things in life.
07/18 Direct Link
I am hoping that this coffee will help me to not only stay awake but to also not make me feel so drowsy.

A large portion of my day was spent editing a letter that I wrote to my wife 14697.8 kilometers away.

It’s true when they say that you don’t realize what you had until it is out of site.

As long as she is alive there is still hope that I will be able to embrace her again and my children.

I calculated that I wrote close to 16,845 words to her on 36 pages worth of paper.
07/19 Direct Link
Cosmic Moon
Lunar Wind
timeless nights…

Compelled passions
a bathtub Sunnah
whispers in the ear
the ten bodily weapons
backed up meditations…

Tajweed alphabets
daughter explores
a wandering mind
filled with wonder…

Egyptian ablution
Eritrean truths
collected cracks
give a tidy room.

Communication complaints
several letters written
and hijab stockings
make love to the night…

206 verses
206 bones
eyes in the light
a 36 paged letter
ten thousand words
Shawwal spices
Dreamspell days
Black man morning
sunrise delight…

Valentino kisses
coffee, grapes, juice,
brown sugar cream,
bean soup vegetables
International flights
a fly messenger
and grieving toenails
taste delicious…
07/20 Direct Link
Right hand
left hand
Sufi classifications
niyat projects
clean and sorted hallways
extra empty space
Zen enthusiasm,
tackled this recycled
rejuvenated life.

Shocked to see
a dead fucking mouse,
poisonous traps
flying fruit flies,
beard and beard brush,
letters about the Jinn,
a bird in a cage,
and talents unnoticed.

Familial discussions
about the light,
mystic dreamers,
love and nature
with my wife,
cosmic filled lives,
segments of actions performed,
hot tea and candles,
tight ballerinas,
dancing to
songs of silence,
an imperfected life,
hangs a moon
gingerly spiced.

One Thousand Words
One Thousand July Nights.

So happy this way.
07/21 Direct Link
Self Existing Seed
Universal Fire
Purification Cycles

The beauty of the Holy Quran
while sitting at the bus stop.

Some of these Moroccan brothers,
do not join in prayer
or make the necessary corrections.

Talked extensively for some time
wondered about kissing
trying to observe the Holy month
intensed passions
showed me her belly button
already in a swoon.

Blasting back to yesterday
returned to work before
thinking about my wife
sending all kinds of sentiments
which were really true.

Videos of us together
deeper into the subject
expressing my feelings
while turning into the gentleman
that she once knew.
07/22 Direct Link
Math proves;
that I was wrong,
washing away sins,
with each body part,
in between my toes.

Coffee does not seem to help,
the old school in Venice,
memorized Wisdoms,
hands regarding knowledge.

The flame is still burning,
not so intense,
as I mature with age,
I have no intentions,
of becoming,
rotten fruit,
filled with maggots,
and fruit flies.

Bika wa nata
Bukhari and Muslim
labelled tajweeds.

Maulana commentaries
by Yusuf Ali
Qunuts to memorize
Even after Ramadhan
doing Witr prayers.

The ways I have broken down
the beginning phrases,
parts that begin,
with nineteen lines,
is no coincidence.
07/23 Direct Link
She needed to stop thinking
all about herself
a covetous heart
the dictionary describes
eagerly desirous
for the things
of this world.

Deeds that are recorded
women in hell fire
life of a Sufi poet
moving from room to room.

She had no interest
as I spoke about prayers
trying to get closer
paying close attention
to how the body was connected
expressions on her face
a prerequisite for all artists to know.

Searching for lines
based on senses
to prove nights of power
the even and the odd
reflections of the sun
Universal blessings
the title alone is true.
07/24 Direct Link
Half a day spent
learning emotions
this thing called empathy
and her desperate cries
for some kind of understanding.

A nine to five clock
some time for lunch
business women
in hooker attire
seeing through cute.

Thank God for fasting
crazy looking beard
inner fire burning.

Mesmerized by
Ethiopian eyes
and Egyptian musk.

Berbuka puasa
taste one date
strengthen my thighs
have some grapes
a glass of water
on a table like crate.

Bananas are long
life is short
with no time
for tomorrow.

Tears not yet fallen
contemplate my face
embraced by silence
feeling so alone
does love exist?
07/25 Direct Link
Wind across my face
crickets chirping In the night,

Lailatul qadr
seeking completion,
on this glorious night.

Hands emboldened
unknowingly caressed
a climax controlled
a stolen kiss.

Sacrifices acknowledged
with no heart to return
a King is forsaken
without his wife.

A mystic path
a cosmic journey
to this inner sanctum
of Nur and light.

Twenty seven days
and twenty seven nights
of Ramadhan
and this dream
of many flights.

Isa who loved
beyond Buddha’s compassion
the Sufi’s Universal Love
and the Corinthian verse.

Garden Center,
Mezza Grill,
Mosque realizations
confronting the issues
a challenge is met
Arabiyya is stretched.
07/26 Direct Link
A red solar moon
signifying attraction
speaking with my wife
shifting papers
in the other room.

Charged all over
astral body not projecting
A Muslimah’s face
like the moon
divide my readings up
before Jumuah begins.

Mindful of my feet
as they move about to ensure
play with real clay
that by nature
children have
the big imaginations.

Adamant about the fact
satisfying her wishes
about a fantasy in Brunei
all my eggs in one basket
an assured waste in time.

A nasheed about death
Allah loves meeting the Believers
99 mercies
even the beast
treats its young
with affection.
07/27 Direct Link
First day of Shawwal
International Market
star anise
rain drops
coming down
pouring down.

Washing the dishes
twenty tribes explained
each finger
each toe

Women want attention
a new meat cleaver
as men we have to pay;
for increased awareness.

In betweeen Tahajjud
and Qiyam al Lail
in my heart and mind
came to the conclusion
to be with a Muslimah
boils down to beliefs
practices and desires
to be closer
to the Creator
she will be more mindful
of her duties.

Never in Ramadhan
a cicada loud as this
confirming the entrance
of an Eid revelation.
07/28 Direct Link
A peculiar thunder
that seems to rumble
in intervals of time
questions of the judgment
since no one seems to know.

Bit my tongue by mistake;
sad the Saudi’s lied
there’s always controversy
people have gone away
from the traditional ways
in these particular days;
did anyone see
the crescent moon?

Everyone is willing
regardless of the situation
my own investigation
an emotional state
tendencies to respond
to an intuitive understanding.

The heart
and wonder,
space to cook
cutting the vegetables,
measuring the spices
the life of the Prophet
how he was poor
in this world
but rich in spirit.
07/29 Direct Link
Life of the Prophet
Black stone monolith
even before Abraham
Mecca was the spiritual centre of man.

In our day and time
so much about singers
so many celebrities
know little
about the prophets
and pioneers,
who led the expedition
center of the Earth
essence of the truth
the original man had chosen.

Never intended
for man to punch a clock
or strive for the things
in this impermanent world.

Man is to grow
knowledge and wisdom
emanate the attributes
ward off the fire
instill the principles
following and practicing
the life of my ancestors
since the beginning of time.
07/30 Direct Link
Deep within my roots
desires to learn
about the Holiest Book in existence
the ability to connect
with more people in the world
like any other language
understand the speeches
jokes cast aside
mysteries of the language
the root word of things
the characteristics of man
recognize the sun letters
disobedient wives
then move on
away from there.

The Hereafter
the presence of God
in the form of lessons
to get a better understanding
learned through experience
love, light, and wisdom,
a force to emanate.

Simply listening
without responding
or thinking
to what you hear
play a role
in mindfulness.
07/31 Direct Link
Dream about the girl
not coming back
a faithless wife
dashing for divorce.

Mountain lion
over a fence
had a certain fear
before I went to sleep
under an ocean striped blanket
practicing the silence
the inner dialogue
the useless chatter.

Controlling the ego
trying to satisfy
an ongoing process
that never ends

Nabi Muhammad
desert in the rose
full of fragrance
a real Sufi saint
came from that same region.

Flee from the experience
moments we are missing
opportunities overcome
a husband with no wife
a father with no son
let it go
my son
would sing
almost everyday.