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06/01 Direct Link
I reflect back on how matter is said to be an illusion and how everything is in the head. If that does not sound twisted I donít know what does.

However, if you read the book page by page, you would see how it all makes perfect sense.

Now that she is gone, I notice that I do not eat like I did before.

Now is a perfect time to embrace the silence and get in touch with your solitude and tune in with the Universe, the darkness, the shadows, until that perfect light is shined that is very bright.
06/02 Direct Link
I think most people would find it hard embracing the darkness because of all the bad omens associated with it according to whatís seen in the movies.

Once again, black is made to look like some kind of hex, or something that is bad.

Think for a moment on the fact that before we come out of the womb, weíre in triple darkness.

I canít forget that Ramadhan is coming up which in my opinion is the perfect time to purify myself and get my mind together.

I figure itís time to make a big change in my life anyways.
06/03 Direct Link
There is pain in separation which leads me to believe one thing. We are in pain because a part of us has parted. It is like tearing off one of your rib bones because that one rib bone said you know what, ĎI've had it and I cannot live with you guys anymore.í

No one wants to separate from the ones they love or at least have some kind of feelings for.

While sitting at the bus stop watching the wind blow the leaves in the trees I realized that I have to go back out into the mountains again.
06/04 Direct Link
I do think it is important to listen to what she says.

I also believe it is okay to disagree with what a person says and that there does not have to be a big argument about it.

You can still enforce your rules with firmness and compassion despite what she might want or desire.

After all, you are the one in control right?

There is something about the mystery of the night that intrigues me and urges me on.

I could stay up in the night all night long until I hear the birds sing and see the sunrise.
06/05 Direct Link
Do you see how beautiful Islam is? It can really be seen the best by the people who actually practice it in the manner that it should be practiced.

Iím not going to argue and say that walking isnít the best exercise.

As I walk I realize that Iím using just about every limb in my body and if Iím not mistaking, walking is good for the circulation. So if you are feeling sleepy, get up and start walking.

I have also come to really realize that walking is also a time to collect your thoughts and think things over.
06/06 Direct Link
I read more of Listening Below the Noise today written by Anne LeClaire, and found some interesting quotes.

ĎThe quieter we become
the more we hear.í -Ram Dass,

ĎYou try being alone,
without any form of distraction,
and see how quickly you want to get away
from yourself and forget what you are.í
-Krishnamurti

ĎWho in her right mind wants to sit quietly and pay attention to what dwells within.í

ĎAny life lived attentively is disillusioning as it forces us to know us as we are.í Kathleen Norris

Donít surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep. ĖHafiz
06/07 Direct Link
I read a phrase that stated that Brahmacharya was something that was practiced in word, thought, and deed. Taking this approach to Brahmacharya opened up some completely different windows in my humble opinion.

I started to read about some famous men who had practiced this science and decided I would pen some of their quotes here.

Unchaste imagination is as bad as unchaste actions. -Swami Vivekananda

The chaste brain has tremendous energy and gigantic will power, without chastity there can be no spiritual strength.

The spiritual leaders of men have been very continent and this is what gave them power.
06/08 Direct Link
I know in the past that I have talked about mind over mind which in this particular case I was referring types of objects.

In this particular case I am referring to the aspect of the mind that has to make a decision.

Oftentimes you will find that you are at the crossroads to get something done.

In one case your mind is telling you to do one thing while another aspect of your mind is telling you to do the opposite.

The difficulty is choosing the one that will benefit you the most.

It is easier said than done.
06/09 Direct Link
How do you go about focusing on yourself without thinking about others? It's really not about that, it's about going deep within.

What makes the prophets so great is that they were willing to go that extra mile that no one else wanted to take.

I managed to talk to my father today. He was concerned about if I had been taken away by the tornado that was said to have been reported in the city.

I have yet to see an actual tornado spinning from the clouds and wreaking the havoc on the places that it wreaks its havoc.
06/10 Direct Link
It feels like winter in this apartment while it is hot as hell outside. I know some people like to have it cold as hell in their homes during the summer, but would not dare to do so during winter.

I got on my bike and just sort of cruised around the city today.

Once I got back home, it felt nice to take a shower and to wash away dried up sweat and the smell of musky balls.

While taking a shower I thought about cleanliness, a clean chemistry lab, and how cleanliness was a prerequisite for all Muslims.
06/11 Direct Link
After reading part of the Law of Success I realized that most of the times itís only ourselves that is stopping us from what we really want to do in life.

Nobody has told me to postpone my plans.

In the end, itís entirely up to you to make a decision in your life and act on it.

I watched the last episode of Breaking Bad today which ended in most case scenarios, when it comes to living a life of crime.

People who think that the Universe and karma isnít fair in what it delivers had better think again.
06/12 Direct Link
Fasting is the natural high for all saints, mystics, prophets, and anonymous nobodies.

Being yourself means being your true self with no strings attached; meaning that you are not doing something because you are trying to impress someone or get their attention.

It also means not caring about what people think about you by being real about your beliefs.

Your time and energy is spent on what?

I ask this question since Iíve stated many times that time is so precious.

Thereís no tomorrow with the guaranteed stamp of approval on life that youíll live to see the next day.
06/13 Direct Link
Iím already having doubts as to me doing a ten day fast.

Perhaps the Messenger is right when he said that doing a fast with just water is too difficult.

I have completed 24 hours of 2,400 hours of the fast, so 2400 minus 24 equals what?

2400 minus 24 equals 2,376.

Should we talk about how a small dent can sometimes not seem so noticeable?

Small things shouldnít be underestimated; bed bugs are a perfect example of that.

I wonder why God bothered to create them.

Besides being a tormenting parasite, of what other purpose do they really serve?
06/14 Direct Link
I want to try to incorporate something else that I do on a daily basis which is starting a poetry art book to expand my horizons and to start working on something that I love.

I figured that if I could do one poem a day and at least one page of some kind of drawing or a combination of both, it could open up some doors and avenues for me.

I guess you can say Ďthat only time can tell,í

I would like to start working on it as soon as possible versus just talking and fantasizing about it.
06/15 Direct Link
Women are not innocent angels full of purity. They have crazy thoughts just like men have crazy thoughts.

Women are beings that can die just like a man can die.

The first thing you need to do is to stop seeing the woman as this spooky kind of thing that you cannot understand and get with the facts.

She does just about everything a man does bodily wise, except for give birth, and has menstruations.

The woman also thinks differently, and her physical strength is weaker than a man.

Wait a minute; she is different.

She is stranger than fiction.
06/16 Direct Link
Practicing the silence doesnít mean just being quiet, it means to be mindful of that silence too.

Thereís more power in prayer if you know what youíre saying word for word and know deep down in your heart that thereís power in prayer.

Prayer is a method in which you can tune in like a frequency to the Most High.

It is said that the more you pray the better.

When prayer is recited it has to be done sincerely and with earnestness.

Having thoughts about what youíre going to do after prayer does not help you to focus better.
06/17 Direct Link
What is the mind?

The mind is a word that doesnít really describe the essence of the mind.

How do I empty my mind if in the end there is no mind to empty since there is no mind to begin with?

I reflected on time and how time is constantly moving, even as the Earth goes around the Sun.

The objects that do not seem to move are actually moving if you think about the fact that the Earth is spinning about 1037 miles per hour around the Sun.

Thereís no need to get upset over words and ideals.
06/18 Direct Link
My workout consisted of doing curls, pushups, dips, butterflies, bench presses, leg extensions, hamstring curls, sit ups, and some pull ups.

I felt good in the process despite the crook in my neck. I need to find out what to do to get rid of it. Getting a nice massage sounds really nice right about now.

Once I reached home and did all the normal things; like putting my bike away and washing my hands, I went straight to the kitchen to pull out the crackers with cheese, salsa with chips, and butter pecan ice cream to satisfy my appetite.
06/19 Direct Link
I started to read ĎAs A Man Thinketh,í and started to think about my own thinking and my own thoughts.

It would not take long for me to start feeling bored and tired and hearing a dry thought in the back of my mind saying that I had already read this book so many times before though I knew it was worth it.

I thought about the many books that I have which have been left unread or partially read.

The very thought of it felt like a terrible tragedy that books would be left in this kind of condition.
06/20 Direct Link
My idea for Saturday is to get high by reading Haikuís all day.

Now I would say that our room looks more like a minimalist room, but if you look in the living room, it looks like hoarders.

Actually it isnít that bad, because at least you can see the carpet, and at least find somewhere to walk and make a path from the kitchen to the living room.

Sometimes things arenít always what they seem and what they appear; this is one reason why it pays to strive to be more aware of your surroundings and your inner environment.
06/21 Direct Link
It started raining once I was done with my Korean massage today.

I think my masseuse got a kick out of putting me in the scorpion pose and the frog pose it seemed.

There was a point at which I thought she was either trying to break my legs or break my back.

My last stop today was at the store to get some mixed vegetables, butter pecan ice cream, orange juice, half and half crŤme, coffee filters, and some pumpkin pie which was not on the list.

I just had to have something that would go good with coffee.
06/22 Direct Link
I was looking at my Chinese writing on the chalkboard that I had written years ago.

As I looked at the Chinese writing I started to get somewhat impressed by my own writing but did not recognize some of the characters that were once recognizable.

Later on I started to wonder about how I should spend my time and suddenly saw the zafu mat on the floor.

I sat down, meditated, and took notice of the outside noises; such as dogs barking and the sounds of cars on the interstate not too far from where I live.

I felt lonely.
06/23 Direct Link
Donít forget to keep a pen and notebook by the side of your bed and wherever you go.

The samurai is always with his sword; the writer should always be with his pen and pad.

When I woke up I wanted to jot down a dream I had. I couldnít write about my dream because I didnít have a pen and notebook nearby.

Now Iím constantly thinking about conversational Spanish after reading a book about learning a language in three months.

It explains why people arenít successful with foreign languages after going to school for years to learn the language.
06/24 Direct Link
I began to ponder on a subject that was brought up in the limelight regarding feelings, which I think in my opinion is one of my weak points.

How do you go about expressing your feelings?

I have been raised to think that men did not have feelings and that men just simply held it in.

I have even heard the saying that feelings were for sissies.

After doing some research I am beginning to think that the more in touch we are with our feelings and our emotions the larger the impact we can have on our psychic capabilities.
06/25 Direct Link
What do you do when you donít want any more children and still donít want to use a condom?

Is there a way to have sex without a condom and not getting a woman pregnant?

I contemplated on the word dependent and how I was dependent on certain situations to occur for my benefit.

I wondered if I was being selfish in some ways or if some people were being plain stingy.

After thinking about the word dependent I thought about putting Ďiní in front of Ďdependentí to get the word independent; which means being dependent on the inner self.
06/26 Direct Link
Thereís no more entertainment in the house now since you threw the televisions away.

She was in full support of me throwing the televisions out and now I am the bad guy by making my word bond.

She agreed with me when I pointed out how the children were being negatively influenced by the television and especially the type of behavior that it was causing in our son.

Did she forget any of that, or am I just messed up in the head?

Is this society and the world so addicted to television that it has become a mass drug?
06/27 Direct Link
Being grateful is appreciating the small and important things in life; like water, food, breath, and love; the very essence of life.

It is okay for a man to cry in the right time and in the right place.

Most men are not going to cry in front of a woman or in front of their children or any other children for that manner because it is considered as a sign of weakness.

This could be another prime example as to how we just go along with societal rules of conduct and whatever it is that they have to say.
06/28 Direct Link
One thing that I can say for sure is that if I see a woman moving from far away I will be certain that it is the movements of a woman.

Not even a gay guy could imitate the movements of a woman like a real woman can no matter how hard he tries.

So I tell myself that if I know that my case regarding communication needs some fixing then why not build up a communication structure and learn social interactive skills.

Release all attachments, expectations, wants, desires, hopes, and your dreams.

Release every single attachment and be free.
06/29 Direct Link
Today is the first day of Ramadhan.

This morning I had some coffee which lasted almost to the point of Fajr.

I realized that I was going to be screwed for the rest of the day since I drank coffee on an empty stomach, despite the fact that I could have had orange tea biscuits or a glaze donut to go with it.

Once I left the job, I could already feel the coffee cramps kicking the crap out of my stomach.

I knew that I would have no choice but to simply bear it all the way until sunset.
06/30 Direct Link
I read the Zen Habits article today entitled The Quickest Guide to a Decluttered Home.

Decluttering is the module that weíre working on for July which is right on time for me since I am currently dealing with a big mess that Iím trying to organize.

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

Something that I have learned today regarding women that tend to put up a tough talk session is that deep down inside they are not so tough at all.

They are just delicate sensitive creatures the way Allah has created them to be.