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04/01 Direct Link
After work I went to Tattered Covered Book Store to look for a birthday gift for my daughter.

While I was looking for The Far Side I came across all sorts of other graphic novels.

I saw many graphic novels that I thought my daughter would like, but I had to put most of the graphic novels back on the shelf because of some of the nudity, homosexuality, blood, and gore content.

I chose Volume 3 The Graphic Canon not knowing that there was nudity inside of the book until my wife was in the process of wrapping it up.
04/02 Direct Link
She came into the room to tell me that she would be back but she never did.

The meditation module began yesterday.

Today I have joined a group called Meditation Open Team which is the same administrator who started the Unprocrastination module.

Try to be more observant for the sake of better writing.

You must be deliberate in your observations and mindfulness so that you will have more things to write about.

There is just too many things in this world going on to say that there is nothing to write about.

Just finished watching another episode of Samurai Champloo.
04/03 Direct Link
One question that you should be asking yourself is exactly what is an Artist and what is art? In what way are you an Artist?

The only power in words is the power that we give them. Sometimes it can be slightly more than that; in which case the power goes beyond just mere speaking for the sake of speaking.

In my younger years I was a fool to think that women were so innocent and pure and that they could never do any wrong or that they were some strange mystical and unapproachable creatures.

The truth does hurt sometimes.
04/04 Direct Link
Instead of thinking about sleep, think about Allah. Today I was mindful of myself wanting to sleep versus doing the things that I really wanted to do and truly enjoy for my own benefit.

I noticed the part of me that was saying things like you need sleep, and forget about your plans and goals and so on down the line.

Today I am fighting my sleep.

I will not rest until I complete my writings for the day.

If Allah is truly the greatest, why do we find ourselves thinking so much about other things?

Tune into the silence.
04/05 Direct Link
Is it really man against the machine or has the machine already won the battle over our minds, wills, desires, and dreams?

What would the world be like if no one went by this mechanical time?

If you truly believe that words cannot hurt you, then why do they seem to sting so bad when they hit right at home.

There is a certain part of you that you think is you and that you think is true, when in fact you are none of the things that you think you are.

The true essence of you has no name.
04/06 Direct Link
Make every single heart beat and breath count.

The practice of tranquility is the practice of making your body and your mind very calm.

In Each Moment Is The Universe I read that one aspect of time is to separate while the other is to connect.

The aspect of time that separates you from others is the human world.

The aspect of time that connects you to others is universal truth.

You are connected with all beings in time which permeates into every inch of the cosmic universe, and space, where everyone and everything exists together in peace and harmony.
04/07 Direct Link
That in truth there was no such thing as an innocent woman and if there was one it was a very rare case.

Can I say the same thing about women who are devout, sincere, and who are trying to be righteous?

As beautiful as women may seem, ultimately we are blinded by their beauty.

In ĎTame The Bitch,í I read that women love romance novels because of the manís ability to master their emotions and mental state.

You might see a woman who looks hot and sexy, but then you have to ask yourself what is their hygiene like.
04/08 Direct Link
Write as though your life depends on it, because in essence it really does.

A man is being a man when he has some kind of purpose and some set goals.

Once he knows what they are, he is normally found taking action.

I have a variety of things that I am striving for.

I think that knowing what you want in life is a big plus factor in any body's life.

In the meantime, it's entirely up to me to decide what those things are.

A large part of myself already knows the goals that I am striving for.
04/09 Direct Link
I would like some water, but I donít feel like getting up to get it. When I looked to my left I realized that the book Big Words was staring dead at me. That inspired me to get up.

The thought of words had more impact on me than quenching my thirst and desire for distilled water.

A man in some kind of cocoon surrounded by what could be rays of light or the mere filaments of an amoeba.

Big Words is worth your while to read page by page if you say you are serious about becoming a writer.
04/10 Direct Link
So in turning back to the deep within, and going down to the deepest of my roots, I feel my heart beat to a drum that speaks about the soul.

Do you find her to be soulful, or to have true desires, while expressing true love?

While she has wished and desired one thing, she actually pushed me to the edge of a cliff forcing me to do nothing more than spread my wings and fly away to a more promising land.

I donít know why sheís always so tired these days. Is it possible that sheís pregnant or something.
04/11 Direct Link
Sometimes life can be just like a game of chess.

I just finished a twenty minute meditation. In this meditation I really tried to be in the moment.

Besides being aware of my breath I was also aware of the sounds in my immediate surroundings such as the cars passing by outside of my window, the sound of the motor running in the laptop, and the voices outside of my door, and perhaps the sound of some pigeons rustling about in their nests which is somewhere outside of my window secluded from view.

I feel more relaxed and at peace.
04/12 Direct Link
I enjoyed doing kung fu fighting with my son today. I probably spent more quality time with him today more than I have in a long time.

Maybe she was being a bitch because she was suffering from media withdrawal symptoms.

Now that the television is gone and thereís no more fighting and arguing over it, perhaps now she is really showing her true colors.

Something told me to pay attention because it was possible that I was dealing with some kind of beast or something.

I tape recorded her snoring and it sounded like some creature from another world.
04/13 Direct Link
I opened all of our apartment windows and burned some sage because I was beginning to think that there was something evil in this apartment.

I canít believe that she has resulted back to throwing shit again. Sheís breaking her own contract alone based off of how a Muslimah is supposed to conduct herself.

I had to grab her arms to make her stop. That crazy woman deserved to be slapped around.

If you are wicked, you cannot enter the kingdom of Zion.

I figured that the best way to deal with my anger was to harness it through exercise.
04/14 Direct Link
It all happened suddenly like a time bomb.

This mad woman is throwing shit around again and attempted to stab me with a sharp pointed butter knife.

She had the audacity to tell me that she was going to call another man whom neither one of us trust, to come pick her up.

ďThe Imam was right,Ē she said, ďa woman does not want to be with a man who is not successful.Ē

Forget about the fact that I am working a full time job, working all kinds of overtime hours, putting food on the table, and providing shelter right?
04/15 Direct Link
We are back together again and had talked about our hang ups.

Two days ago what seemed like a failing relationship suddenly blossomed into some understanding.

I realized that conflict is actually a good thing and should not be seen as something that is bad, such as I had been doing in the past.

We have to enjoy the good in the same manner that we experience sometimes what we refer to as bad.

For the most part, everything is settled as far as where we disagreed about certain things.

I know the areas that I need to work on.
04/16 Direct Link
I got on the Sand Dune bus to fetch water, buy some vegetables to make a salad, and other rudimentary things, like fresh gourmet coffee.

I came to the conclusion that anything dealing with the mystical starts off with the breath first.

Even after the meditation is over, one should still try to continue to cultivate this breath on a moment by moment basis while always trying to be aware of it.

Itís my Friday, so Iím really looking forward to tomorrow.

I wonder if I could look forward to tomorrow without it having to necessarily be my off day.
04/17 Direct Link
I wasnít satisfied with my passport photos or the service that they provided. I was sure that the photos they provided wouldnít be acceptable for a passport and that we would have to do them all over again.

That was something that we could not afford to waste.

TimeÖ

Itís far better to try to see things as they are, versus trying to see things the way we want to see them based off of our personality and our ego.

While in the moment, strive to be aware of your thoughts that often take you away from the present moment.
04/18 Direct Link
I did my Isha prayers and stuck with doing my twenty minute meditation which felt like reunification with a long lost friend.

She came back after nine.

I could tell that she was glad to get away.

I on the other hand would find myself upset as she digressed to her Facebook status leaving me like I was just some kind of amusement for her on the side when she got ready to be amused or decided to amuse.

Incidents like this make me want to engage with other women who might give me two cents worth of their time.
04/19 Direct Link
Presently Iím drinking some coffee that my wife said she would make for me this evening.

She asked me what time would I like it by.

Seeing that she was in the bed sleep and appeared to be very tired, I took it upon myself to simply make the coffee myself to drink here and to take some to work with me.

The downside to this particular cup of coffee is that thereís no more cream left so I had to use milk instead.

It isnít the greatest cup of coffee. I just have to deal with what I have.
04/20 Direct Link
Do not listen to words that are filled with venom and poison.

I have to go back to work today at 19:00 and here she is riling shit up. I donít have the time or the energy for all this bullshit anymore.

Youíre the one who decides ultimately on what the waiting period is for her.

Sheís in no position to make any decisions right now.

The best thing to do now is simply ignore her and bring yourself down to your senses.

There are three things worth embracing in my opinion; God, silence, and mindfulness of the present moment.
04/21 Direct Link
She forgets that people have feelings too.

She says things that she expects people to forget later on not realizing that she created wounds that would last forever.

She was being a harsh person on an emotional level.

Somewhere down the line, perhaps in childhood something really fucked up happened to her. Perhaps itís something buried deep down inside of her festering.

She wasnít taught everything on how to be a lady.

Do they have books out there on how to be a lady?

You have to be a champion of your words.

Your word has to stand for something.
04/22 Direct Link
Iíve been caring about everybody else so much that I think itís time that I start caring more for myself. Take more baths, get more massages, [even if that means that I have to pay for them; I would be willing to work a second job for a decent massage] go to the dentist, and remove those tattoos.

While taking the shuttle bus and observing the people as they walked up and down the streets and how they got on and off of the shuttle bus I began to realize aspects about people and how they can be easily categorized.
04/23 Direct Link
I still have not met the challenge of reading the dictionary from page to page A through Z.

People talk about it like reading the entire dictionary is some kind of feat, and something so miraculous that nobody else could possibly do it.

I would love to read the dictionary from A through Z simply for the pure fact that I love words and foreign languages.

How could I call myself any kind of aspired artist or writer and not think in these terms of love and endearment.

Knowing more words seems to have a big difference in your life.
04/24 Direct Link
You have a tendency to hold back your feelings and emotions she once told me.

I didnít know what in the world she meant by that.

I believed that she was also referring to how I hold back sometimes; from doing the things I want to do, like dancing.

You should learn that every single thing is an experience and how we react to them.

It shouldnít be seen as something outside of us or inside of us but something that is happening based off of our reactions to what is being said or to a particular thing in motion.
04/25 Direct Link
She asked me where was I going and I simply told her that I wanted to go somewhere after Jumuah.

She wanted to know where and I felt like it was none of her business where I went and what I had planned on doing.

Why do I have to report to her?

Sheís not my captain.

Now she is constantly saying I thought we were going to book the tickets. Hopefully this will be the last thing that she harasses me about.

Never underestimate who people are in life. Like I said before, you never know who is who.
04/26 Direct Link
Constant nagging and complaining has not been known to solve anything.

I think more than anything else, what I truly desire is peace of mind. I want to really get my head together.

This is not to say that I cannot get it together now, but what I am saying is that I would really have the time to do what I really have wanted to do without any distractions.

In the end, all I can say to you, is to listen to your heart.

Your heart can never go wrong. Follow your heart and what your intuition tells you.
04/27 Direct Link
While a close friend of mine is out of town he has allowed me to use his car.

Iíll clear out all the recycle and maybe drive the family around to get some things for their upcoming trip.

Initially I was thinking on the basis that matter didnít fit the description of flux, but if you analyze matter closely and realize that it is made of atoms, electrons, protons, neutrons, and quarks, then you can understand that even matter is also in constant motion.

This along has opened my mind as means to seeing things in a much different light.
04/28 Direct Link
As I continued to look in the rearview mirror I was somewhat surprised that this lady was digging in her nose.

Seeing her digging in her nose automatically removed the image I have always had in my mind of women being so clean and neat.

Women could not possibly dig in their noses, especially without any tissue paper.

As men I think we forget that women shit, wipe their ass, urinate, fart, wake up with smelly breath, and will smell if they donít shower.

Donít forget that every month dirty blood comes out of their vagina on a frequent basis.
04/29 Direct Link
I was looking at these beautiful photographs of exotic flora online and was amazed by the beauty. Once I started exercising mindfulness I began to realize that I was being captivated by the ten thousand things of the mind.

My goal in life shouldnít be to strive for peace which is the opposite of war, or to be happy, which is the opposite of sadness.

My main goal in life should be striving to be more aware.

A good place to start with awareness would be our breathing, our bodies, and the various things that are immediately near to us.
04/30 Direct Link
After eating the banana I did my portion of the dishes and a few other items. I have always liked and enjoyed washing dishes ever since I was young.

When I wash dishes it is like doing a deep meditation. In the end I feel relaxed and calm.

I did not do the dishes to please anyone, it was simply in my heart to do the dishes so I did them

While washing the dishes, I found myself thinking about plants and how I would like to make that part of the interior design of our apartment and eventual home.