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01/01 Direct Link
Today we had our family discussion. I wanted to have the family discussion yesterday but it was not feasible since I had to be at work by 5pm and get off at 7:30 a.m.

Get ready to deal with all the drunks and their nonsense.

I can somewhat imagine how kakak feels when she said she feels like she does not have any friends and feels so lonely.

These are the perks of home schooling. She isn’t aware of the bad influences she would encounter while attending a public school or the possibilities of getting shot while trying to learn.
01/02 Direct Link
Being more mindful is one of my New Year’s resolutions.

Be more mindful of your breath, mindful of your speech, the words that you use, mindful of your thoughts, and the things that you see were just some of the things that I could think of as far as being mindful were concerned.

Another aspect of mindfulness that I might add is being aware of the fact that everything is mystical, even beyond mysterious, which puts a hand on the unknown.

To stretch things further, the best approach to take is to not refer to anything using a single word.
01/03 Direct Link
After believing in something for so long it is difficult to simply get a concept out of your mind.

Time was a bunch of dials, screws, and springs designed to make the second hand and the hour hand move.

Time was nothing more than a word.

Time was used as a tool to punch in, make appointments, and deadlines.

There is no past, future, or present moment.

Time is an illusion.

While meditating I tried to empty my mind of all concepts, without calling it emptying my mind.

How can we pour anything into a cup that is already full?
01/04 Direct Link
I have a fear that after I jack the car up, put it on jack stands, and get underneath the car while using my tools to work on the starter, my car will collapse and crush me, causing death.

I wouldn’t want to die with a car weighing over 3,442 crushing me to death, legs sticking out, surrounded by snow.

When I die I would want to die with cherry blossoms like, the samurai in spring, with butterflies flying in a cool breeze.

Do you think death would really give us a choice as to how we desired to die?
01/05 Direct Link
I congratulate myself for not picking up the belt to beat the hell out of him, or smack him around a couple of times upside his head.

We were towards the end of watching the Grandmaster past four in the morning when he suddenly woke up.

Once he saw that we were watching television he immediately began crying for the remote as though he wanted to turn off what we were watching.

He said he had a nightmare about his mother leaving him.

Perhaps this dream was a sign that he needs to stop clinging to his mother so much.
01/06 Direct Link
Kung Fu is in every action and breath that you take I said as I hung and folded up the clothes.

If you plan on being good at anything then whatever that thing is, you have to always have it on your mind.

If you can master your body then you are in fact mastering your mind.

A person could not hope to master the mind if they could not master the body and the senses. Though the two [mind and body] are the same, one cannot do without the other.

The body is mind and the mind is body.
01/07 Direct Link
It is nice and quiet.

Everyone is asleep.

The computer is not on; nor the television.

It is just me, here all alone, with my thoughts, with the silence, and my breaths.

Trying to see ourselves as a myriad of things is how we confuse ourselves, instead of seeing ourselves as we truly are.

As long as we are trapped in concepts, how can we ever finally find the way?

Realizing your true self involves removing layers of illusion.

Today I learned that one of the highest teachings was; breathe in and breathe out.

It is all we truly have.
01/08 Direct Link
Please don’t ask me any questions.

There is times when questions are being asked which are not meant to be answered at that particular time.

I just came off of the balcony barefooted wearing my warm green hooded sweater.

I need to get back out to the mountains. I get my dry spells where after some time without being in nature I began to feel so disconnected.

Being at parks is nice, but it is not the same as being in a National Forest surrounded by wild life.

Later on I thought about beings who piloted ships in outer space.
01/09 Direct Link
Now you know why I am so hidden and secretive with my writings, and my words.

Now I know why I can't leave my writings laying around.

Wisdom comes about through observation, study, and questions on what you are observing and what you are studying.

While being aware of the breath, be aware of the motion of your body, and its sensations.

Be observant of yourself and your reactions to your inner and outward environment.

Who would ever think that being aware of your breath could bring you to such states of consciousness?

Remembering Allah is the most powerful force.
01/10 Direct Link
I just came off of the balcony barefooted wearing my warm green hooded sweater.

I need to get back out to the mountains.

I have a tendency to feel disconnected after long periods of time not being in nature.

Being at parks is nice, but it is not the same as being in a National Forest surrounded by wild life.

I began thinking about beings who piloted ships and beings who piloted the wheels.

Please do not ask any questions.

There is times when questions are being asked and they are not meant to be answered in the present moment.
01/11 Direct Link
I manipulated time because I am time.

Time isn’t in some clock ticking on a wall or some concept about this mumble jumble and the next.

I am time.

So when someone says what time is it.

Say, ‘it is time for me,
and it is time for you,
to talk to me more
on whatever the situation
may bring,

and whatever words
flow from your mouth,
being etched with pens,
and various types of writing materials.

Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to split open. -Natalie Goldberg.
01/12 Direct Link
I lazed around today, watched movies, and tried to spend some time with my wife, until our son pulled her from out of here.

The only thing she needs to learn how to start doing is simply telling the boy ‘No! I will not go into the living room with you until I feel like going.'

That little display that he played with the whining and bullshit was so damn fake. I could see right through him as he pulled her out from here.

If she stopped treating him like a baby perhaps he would stop acting like one too.
01/13 Direct Link
I found myself thinking about the main concepts and different aspects of man.

I would almost classify gangsters as warriors, but even warriors have codes and morals which is something that is often lacking in so called gangs.

The Gods are the real giants who cover all fields. They have travelled the most difficult roads filled with sacrifice.

What happens to a man who does not exercise his body which is exercising his mind and what man does not exercise his mind which is in fact exercising the body, since the two are intertwined and tied in to each other?
01/14 Direct Link
I stepped out on the balcony being a witness to the snow that was coming down, getting away from her negative vibes of which I do not want to have anything to do with.

I thought of a little saying that came to my mind as I was walking in the cold bundled up.

When we think of the cold, we can think about freezing temperatures.

Man is one who braves the elements. He gets out there when nobody else will.

Isn't that what being a man is all about; going against all odds in a courageous and brave manner?
01/15 Direct Link
Tonight at 20:52 we’re supposed to have a full moon. According to the Farmer’s Almanac, we’re having a Full Wolf Moon at 23:52.

Perhaps the difference in timing is based on the different time zones of illusion such as Eastern, Mountain, Pacific, and Central, which are all based off of the watch or the time which is based off of dials and springs and ticking sounds.

Natural time is simply the rising and setting of the sun and the movements of nature.

I would like to dwell on the aspects of being a man without the touch of feminism involved.
01/16 Direct Link
She’s still saying that she cannot sleep at night.

I thought that one of the reasons she could not sleep is because her 40th birthday is coming up and she is all stressed out about it.

I thought a lot before my 40th birthday as I had contemplated the fact that I was leaving a decade of the thirties and entering another one in the forties.

She said she wants to be more religious and more spiritual.

I would like for her to be like that too, minus all of the anger issues that she tends to have at times.
01/17 Direct Link
Some people find it hard to observe the silence because they are afraid of how they might make somebody else feel.

People will think that you are different because you are not so talkative the way you used to be.

People have become so alien to the silence that they think their show of the silence means that something is wrong.

If we didn’t fear the silence, we wouldn’t blare our televisions so loud, bury ourselves in this fantasy world of music, three hundred dollar headphones, virtual video game trip.

When was the last time you truly enjoyed the silence?
01/18 Direct Link
I noticed that while I am doing one thing, I am thinking about the next thing that I plan on doing after I do the thing that I am presently doing.

I realized that the proper thought should be on what is going on in the present moment.

If you are writing like you are now, then focus just on writing. Do not think about how many words you have written so far, or if what you have written is worth writing; simply write and nothing more than that.

Be aware as much as possible and be mindful of everything.
01/19 Direct Link
I am now writing in my underwear.

I had to go back to the store to buy his damn pull ups!

I had the options of walking to the store or riding my bicycle.

I figured that riding the bicycle was more practical and much faster.

Some joy is taken out of bicycle riding when I realize that somehow my gears are all fucked up.

Is that a sign that my gears from within are fucked up too?

No, it is a sign that you need to get your got damn gears fixed.

How would I go about doing that?
01/20 Direct Link
The levels of oxygen are cut off at these altitudes.

Where would I go if I could go anywhere in the world?

The real question to ask is, ‘is some kind of war or political unrest going on in the country I desire to visit?’

Some rich people realize all of the bull shit and commit suicide.

Some poor people commit suicide because they are not rich.

Do not hesitate to shower, meditate, pray, fast, and read scriptures.

Vegetarians enjoy sex too?

Of course!

Did you think they were against sex?

They love sex just like anyone else loves sex.
01/21 Direct Link
Do I need to write about Dating Sites again and how they are the most frustrating way to meet people?

Apparently it seems that we do.

I woke up this morning with an intense headache which I am still feeling now. My brain is pounding on the left hemisphere.

There is a stereotype concerning men stating that they are all dogs.

I guess women are just the opposite of that; nice little angels all dressed up in white.

In the end we have to realize that we are only human; which many of us have forgotten what that really means.
01/22 Direct Link
’Row, row, row, your boat,’ was all he knew. I finished it off for him by saying ‘gently down a stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.’

At the time that I sang that song in elementary school, I never realized that later on in life I would understand the meaning of life being just a dream.

Seeing life as a dream is actually an exercise that you can do to help you lucid dream, along with looking at your hands, and telling yourself that you’re dreaming or asking yourself rather or not you’re dreaming or not.
01/23 Direct Link
I thought about the path that I’m on and asked myself, “What were the flaws and impediments that I was facing that impede me on my path?”

Do you listen to your body which is listening to God?

When you meditate, are you really going deeper within; seeking God Consciousness and Enlightenment?

These were just some questions that I asked myself while taking a shower this morning.

‘Cleanliness is Godliness,’ but is this phrase anywhere in the Bible?

I would like to imagine that God is definitely not a pack rat with a room full of clutter and disorganized things.
01/24 Direct Link
She was waiting for the light rail leaning sexually and passionately.

His first impulse was to grab her by her leather jacket and pull her towards himself, so that their yearning fiery lips could intertwine with each other.

No room for hesitations.

It was interesting to hear how they met.

“We met at the light rail station. He simply grabbed me by my leather jacket and kissed me like I had never been kissed before,” she said.

“And you didn’t see that as being somewhat odd?”

“No! I thought that it was the most sexiest thing I had ever experienced.”
01/25 Direct Link
If Allah made everything to serve as a purpose, why did he make plants that contain hallucinogens?

How did man know which plants would produce what results?

Did someone teach man this knowledge?

Remember when we were knowledgeable about plants and spoke to them as though they were our friends?

Today we call somebody talking to plants psycho or very weird.

If we take the time to look around, which includes ourselves, we would soon come to realize that there are signs everywhere pointing to all kinds of things.

I’m eager to put these puzzle pieces of my life together.
01/26 Direct Link
Exodus 15:26 says ‘If you listen carefully to the LORD your God and do what is right in His eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you.’

It is not about what you want.

What does God want?

We have to be careful about the things that we see, read, and hear.

In the Glorious Holy Quran 17:36 it says ‘you shall not accept any information unless you verify it for yourself.’
01/27 Direct Link
Who or what entices us to make up excuses to keep ourselves away from the actions required to accomplish anything at all?

We can say what we are going to do, and how we are going to do it, but if words are not backed by action, then those words become like words with no meaning or purpose.

Words can do many things; such as inspire, enlighten, or pass on knowledge, and wisdom.

It is words that have brought us to where we are today.

Where do words manifest?

They manifest in our thoughts.

Our words are thoughts on paper.
01/28 Direct Link
Take your sweet time.
That was the theme for today.

I've told myself this many times before.
When you perform each action, act as though you have all the time in the world.

Move like a turtle.

Having all the time in the world would be like having eternity.

Eternity and eternal life can be experienced right here and right now.

Have you studied the process of pregnancy?

Have you witnessed life emerge from womb to water?

Yes, I believe in the possibility that the Universe was at one time like the tip of a pin on a stick pin.
01/29 Direct Link
The highlight of today on a positive note deals with an awareness that I experienced while laying down, embracing my sickness, versus wishing that I was not sick.

I am laying down and suddenly I became aware of my breathing, my state, and my condition.

This was the real state of being here and now.

Perhaps as a human being, I really am time.

If I can just embrace the moment as it is and not be so concerned about the past and what will happen tomorrow, then perhaps I can experience true living.

Is this what true enlightenment is?
01/30 Direct Link
Heart rate increases,
crinkled pinched nose
feeling in the nostrils,
a strange shoulder,
back, and arm strain,
cosmically zoned eyes,
mixed with mass hysteria
is not an option
for the present moment.

There was no sense of being suspicious of anything.

The only thing you have to worry about is that ancient voodoo witchcraft magic.

That is of course if you really believed in that or believed in the Most High God who would never think of such a thing.

Try moving the incense away from your nose to remove the pinch.

Are you acquainted with your ancient African Roots?
01/31 Direct Link
I thought about the Sea Change I want to go through which has a program based on unprocrastinating yourself.

I thought February would be the perfect month for me to challenge myself to clear all my filing and paperwork once and for all.

If I can do just this one thing, it will really give me the motivation that I need to accomplish all kind of other things, including the power of overcoming all obstacles that lie in my path.

Talk is real cheap without being backed by action.

Don’t say a word, and let the actions speak for themselves.