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11/01 Direct Link
Tonight I have client work to do on my off day. I plan to bring No Plot No Problem, The Hidden Messages in Water, The Secret Life of Water, Prayer of the Heart, water, skateboarding and gym clothes for tomorrow.

Before I leave I would like to make some chess moves, and meditate.

In regards to NANOWRIMO, I thought that I would simply write in a down to Earth kind of way. I might stretch things a bit, but there will not be any super powers involved or spaceships coming down from outer space.

I don’t contemplate that now presently.
11/02 Direct Link
So we are now in 17 Self Existing Moon; which is Self Existing Seed guided by universal fire.

A few interesting things are going on.

Time will go back one hour.

Can anyone tell me how it is possible for time to take a step backwards?

The whole idea or concept of time just going backwards is one hundred percent hilarious. This is only possible through the use of a mechanical clock.

If someone can show me a human being who reversed their growth to become a baby again, then maybe I’ll believe in the concept of time going backwards..
11/03 Direct Link
When I was younger, I could never quite understand how some parents were disciplining their children until I had my own children.

It is so easy for people to judge someone when they have not walked in another person’s shoes.

It is almost like someone trying to give a married couple advice when they themselves had never been married.

How can a person know what anything is like if they have never experienced it for themselves?

It is only by diving into the water that a person can talk about water and what it is like plunging in to it.
11/04 Direct Link
The final masterpiece of life is death.

While you’re living, you have the time to make your life worthwhile and meaningful by the things you choose to do or not to do in your life.

I spent a considerable amount of time this morning after work writing for my NANOWRIMO novel this morning inside of my car in the parking lot of a supermarket.

While writing here, I realized that I was able to do more writing in less than an hour compared to several hours being at home.

Writers need their space, peace, quietude, and calm, minus the distractions.
11/05 Direct Link
I do not know why it seems that I think about death more than what I normally have been. I don't know if the thought of death comes with age or if it is just plain curiosity.

We have to admit that everyone knows that everyone will die at some point in their lives but sometimes we tend to think that it will not be us anytime soon.

It is almost as though we have this certainty that we are immune to death because of our age or because of our status and situation.

Death could come at any moment.
11/06 Direct Link
As we sat at the table my son began his temper tantrums again, by stomping his feet on the floor, throwing shit around the house.

For some reason, this time around, I handled things much differently.

Something told me to just ignore him.

No matter what he said or what he did I just ignored him. I soon began to realize that everything that he was doing was just a ploy for attention, even if that meant that I was beating the crap out of him.

How can an adult allow a little five year old to push their buttons?
11/07 Direct Link
I read about 25 traits said to comprise of the alpha male. The traits were positive and I could see why many men did not quite measure up to that list.

It talked about men who complain all of the time which in my opinion is a trait that belongs to women.

Have you ever known anything to change by complaining about it?

In most cases, in order to bring about change you have to do something about it.

Another characteristic of the alpha male was being in shape. That cancels out all the pot belly men on the spot.
11/08 Direct Link
I was glad that I managed to workout at the gym after doing client work again for the Physics group. I was able to go home early so I did not have to stay until midnight.

I want to come up with a stomach routine and know the different kind of stomach exercises possible, so that I can work out on all of my stomach muscles leaving no muscle behind.

Is it true that our thoughts are powerful and that we can send out thought waves to attract the things or desires that we want in life?

Yes it is…
11/09 Direct Link
Being the man that I want to be is a must, even if that means dancing and doing a powwow in the middle of the street doing the warriors dance.

So the question is asked, ‘why do women often fall for the gangster type?’

One of the answers to this question is that oftentimes the gangster tends to workout. This can be seen in the prison yard and outside of the prison yard.

Let’s face it, no woman wants to be with a fat guy unless he has lots of money. Most women don’t care where the money came from.
11/10 Direct Link
She had made me a drink I had never tried before called yuan yang which is a drink made in Hong Kong with half black tea and half coffee. After tasting it I could feel my brain tingle.

Later she told me about her culture in regards to the fly and how they normally do not kill it because it could be an Angel or some kind of messenger.

If there is some truth in this I began to wonder how many messengers or angels I have killed without knowing.

In other cultures the fly is seen as a pest.
11/11 Direct Link
I knew what kind of addict I was as I struggled to get all my writing materials together; my one hundred words printed out, No Plot No Problem, plug in the laptop, now where is my pen and journal?

I need another notepad.

Before this, I asked myself how serious I was about writing, not necessarily what I call quote on quote my writing but in general.

That’s what I prefer. I prefer to write in general with no biases in between or any of my final theses on pornography in order to finally get my Bachelor and Masters Degree.
11/12 Direct Link
I came across a website today based on some of my thoughts that I am trying to expand on in regards to sex.

What are the possibilities that sex could be something that was magical or a true art form?

It has already been stated in many cultures and tribes that sex is something that is sacred.

Once again we go into the realm and question on rather or not sex is an addiction or not. It's a question that you have to ask yourself.

The whole concept behind self realization is exactly what it says.

Realize who you are.
11/13 Direct Link
So Mr. Romance had swept her off of her feet. He did not ask if he could sweep her off of her feet or not, he just did it.

So what is it about Romance novels that women really love so much?

In romance novels do the men just take it from them?

He does not ask them for permission to fuck their wet pussies, he just fucks them.

Is the man rich in most romance novels, and the good old prince charming on a horse?

I guess the best way to find out is to read one for yourself.
11/14 Direct Link
We come back to the question in regards to was there an alternative to the blow job?

If I never got a blow job in my life, would I be able to live with that?

Is there anything that I could replace the void of not getting a blow job with?

I went so far to think of forgetting about sex all together and taking up the practice of Brahmacharya.

What would life be like without sex, lust, pornography, and masturbation.

Life without sex would mean a life without women, more self control, purity, and probably more peace of mind.
11/15 Direct Link
God has demonstrated his Mercy in more ways than one to the enemy, though he could have annihilated every single one of them in a single breath.

I would love to dance to some oldies with her, but she would never go for that.

One thing that you will notice when you start to take up the practice of Brahmacharya is the peace that comes along with it.

This morning I went to the store with the state of mind of keeping Brahmacharya. Self restraint keeps your eyes from wandering and puts your thoughts on an entirely different dimensional level.
11/16 Direct Link
I read several articles on a sacred sex website which talked about how one drop of sperm was made out of 40 drops of blood while in Aryuveda terms it states there is 80 drops of blood in one drop of sperm.

Today I learned that fornication is not just talking about having sex with a person outside of marriage, but fornication can also mean releasing the semen or having an orgasm which is supposed to be prevented.

The medical professionals have nothing to back their claim that if a person restrained their sexual desires that they would become crazy.
11/17 Direct Link
What would happen if they released every prisoner from all over the world?

I do believe that some people do deserve to be locked up but Islamic law would easier to apply.

If you kill somebody you are going to die.

If you steal, one hand gets cut off.

Do you think you are above the law or that it does not apply to you due to the time and age that we are living in?

With a system like this, there would be no jails.

Lofty ideas about heaven, concerns about the past, forgetting all about the present moment.
11/18 Direct Link
At 17:15 mechanical time I sat down to meditate. At 18:15 I completed a one hour meditation.

I had to see if meditation was really for me and gained some insights in the process.

Finally after all these years I managed to sit and meditate for one complete hour which was filled with all kinds of distractions to simply quit the meditation and try again later.

In this meditation I realized that having a strong back and a strong stomach helps your meditation to flow more smoothly.

I sensed the delicate ebb and flow of time; the universal cosmic connection.
11/19 Direct Link
Many of us underestimate the abilities and capabilities of our thoughts thinking that they don’t bring much harm or much good.

Our thoughts are the root of all action. Once we act on something, it’s our thoughts moving in physical form.

If we can manage to control our thoughts, we can learn to control our bodies, and our actions, down to our emotions, and our very being.

This is what self mastery is all about and the path that leads to self mastery.

If you neglect the body then you’re neglecting the mind since they are one and the same.
11/20 Direct Link
She snapped three times…

The first snap was when the boy was trying to cling to her and not let her go to her own room.

Her second snap was when she hit the barbell weight set.

“You did not see that?” I asked.

“No I didn't, it’s so dark in here.”

Her third snap is when she started to complain and I was not ready to listen.

I immediately grabbed for the headphones and Pandora’s Box.

“What? I am trying to talk to you…”

“Well I am trying to do my writing!” That is when I snapped real loud.
11/21 Direct Link
This really sucks that I have to type like a six year old now in order to post today's writings on a Samsung Galaxy cell phone.

What in the fuck happened?

For starters, we received snow this morning that started some time after midnight. The downside to the snow was very bad road conditions.

When I arrived home, the first thing that I learned is that we did not have any internet access. Initially I was not so worried about it, and assumed that it was going to be just another issue in the area.

Sadly, I was terribly wrong.
11/22 Direct Link
When I arrived home this morning with my hands full of bags and groceries Aini informed me that we had another mouse in the kitchen and that it was still alive.

"It's still alive? There is no way in the world that it could be still alive!"

Upon closer examination I could tell that I was definitely going to have to pick up a dead body, guts, and blood.

Now I have a cleaning job.

That wasn’t how I had hoped for my morning to start off.

I just wanted to eat a bowl of cereal and take a nap.
11/23 Direct Link
I’m glad that I managed to wake up before midnight.

We had a turkey dinner sometime around Asr time. After Asr and while waiting for Maghrib I fell asleep without realizing it.

I remember wanting to look at some pictures of women in lingerie so that I could use that for details for the story that I’m writing.

What prevented me from doing that is my wife right next to me and I didn’t want her to think that I was looking at pornography websites.

Now I do not care what she thinks.

I need to get this novel done.
11/24 Direct Link
Suddenly there was a knock on my door while I was in the process of writing.

“Whaaaat!” I yelled.

I could hear my son say that something was ready. I thought that maybe someone was knocking on our front door. At 12:57 A.M.?

When I opened the door it was my wife with the Yuan Yang tea. She actually went out of her way to prepare this coffee tea drink for me.

Suddenly my 'Whaaat!' turned into thanks.

I realized I was out of character and immediately thought about loving kindness and how it outranks bouts of anger any day.
11/25 Direct Link
What in the fuck was wrong with her?

I suggested that she go to the cafeteria to eat her pastry.

She claimed that everyone would see her for the rat and thief that she was.

“This tastes so good,” she said, with a mischievous grin.

What was she really doing?

She was showing off her ass.

What are you going to do about it?

If it was up to me, I would have taken her pastry and said, “let's finish this pastry up right now!”

I would have grabbed the pastry and smeared it all in her face and uniform.
11/26 Direct Link
Just to hold her in my arms and to feel her warmth by my side was the initial thought I had about her until she came in the room and fucked up my writing flow.

It was almost as though she knew that I was about to do the best writing of my life.

Out of all times to come in here, why choose now to fold up all kinds of clothes, to open up all the containers, and to open up closet doors after knowing that I am trying to finish all of my writing in due process time?
11/27 Direct Link
Am I human?

It's a question that I have to ask myself because being human seems to be another concept based on someone else’s idea and concept as to what it means to be human.

This can be dangerous, because we might find ourselves trying to live up to something that isn’t true.

We might find ourselves living up to nothing more than pure lies.

The best thing to do when it comes to self is to find out on your own.

Now would be a good time to start getting in touch with your true nature and simply being.
11/28 Direct Link
If you are not in touch with your true self then you are pretty much gone already, because you will not be able to understand or comprehend the things to come unless you are in touch with the truth.

What is this truth?

That I cannot tell you, because if I told you, it would no longer be true.

It is quite paradoxical like that,
with many mirrors,
and then,
it is nothing at all.

When something is constantly changing, how can you call it anything specific at all?

Who would be willing to submerge themselves deeper into inner space.
11/29 Direct Link
I knew that this would be my last day to enjoy the silence on my own so I was trying to cherish every single moment of being alone.

Last night when I went to the toilet to urinate I was listening to music through the cell phone with my earphones and earplugs in my ear. While urinating I was thinking of what it meant to be a guerilla. That’s when the phone simply dropped into the toilet.

Initially I was not worried because I was told that these phones were water proof; maybe for water, but definitely not for urine.
11/30 Direct Link
I do not know who was more of a man, the person who called the other man to come downstairs and fight like a man, or the man who simply sat calmly in his rocking chair with his handy shotgun ready to blast him away.

The man sitting with the shotgun and any man knows that being called out in the middle of the night spells ambush at every corner.

All people are not as stupid as they portray them to be on television.

Too much talk which is not backed by action can never be something that is productive.