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05/01 Direct Link
If you are not dedicated to anything in life then why even bother putting your time into it?

They say that you can only be good at what you dedicate your life to. What do you dedicate your life to?

If you had several things that you loved, do you think you would be capable of choosing one out of the many and discard everything else?

How easy is it to do something like that?

Each moment has a constant beginning and ending. When we rise above certain undesired and repeated patterns or actions, we call this transformation.

Celebration timeÖ
05/02 Direct Link
I reflected on how the mind tends to be reactive in various situations, in the sense that what happens outside of the inner self affects the inner self.

Example: You are meditating and suddenly hear a loud noise. You find yourself getting angry because in your mind whoever made that noise shouldnít have did it because after all, don't they know that you are meditating?

The more I study my thoughts in the moment the more I realize how I delude myself by the things that I think and hold on to as though they are all etched in stone.
05/03 Direct Link
Something on another level said that I had to see things for what they really were.

As I am living now in this present moment anything that I recall of the past is nothing more than a memory of events and actions that transpired.

Holding on to the past to the point that it affects your mood and disrupts the equilibrium of your present state of mind is not recommended.

Attachment of any kind is highly discouraged, rather it be your thoughts, food, women, or desires.

When things are done in their true form, life can be more truly enjoyed.
05/04 Direct Link
I find it amusing when I do my work outs at the gym to see so called tough guys who look at you like you are weak because you are not lifting as much as theyíre lifting.

They may have the physical strength, but I bet you I could kick their ass.

I am not going to break my back to prove anything to anybody. You have your routine and I have mine.

I did not join up with the gym to show off for anybody, including the women who love to bend their asses in front of your face.
05/05 Direct Link
I read Surah Al ĎAlaa and rolled up Return of the Jedi with an Azul dream. After awhile I found myself hearing wind, wind chimes, and seeing all the stars. It was a flashback of a past event.

I meditated and found myself swirling in circles from deep within.

I saw my book dealing with Stars and their systems and wondered Ďwhat is the star language,í while looking at some Amharic alphabets in various colors.

As I continued my meditation I arrived to a place that was very quiet and still. Thatís what Iíd like to experience all the time.
05/06 Direct Link
After I completed my workout I treated myself to half of a vegetarian pizza and some vitamin drink. While eating at the table I tried to focus on the present moment while chewing my food and looking at the rose on the table and the leaves.

Suddenly I found my thoughts wandering and dwelling on the thoughts of masturbation, wondering where in the hell did that thought come from when before I was not thinking about that at all.

I guess you can say for a few moments in time I lost my point of awareness in the present moment.
05/07 Direct Link
Another reason why I think we have a hard time writing sometimes, [or should I speak for myself] is because we tend to hold back on what we really want to write. We tend to censor ourselves which does nothing but adds limitations to our true creative abilities.

Last night while at the job I was watching Taboo on National Geographic which covered the stigma on prostitution and the different classes of prostitutes from the street to the top executive type hookers. Where there is prostitution you are bound to have drugs, disease, and violence they said.

Give me Brahmacharya.
05/08 Direct Link
I do not think I have ever seen a woman in my life who was holy.

I managed to do my meditation for today and I found that the main theme in this meditation was to release all of my attachments, rather they be sentimental, emotional, memories of the past, or material objects.

A person would be better off to meditate five minutes a day versus meditating one hour in one day out of that week. The main theme here is consistency, and that it is consistency that will give us results rather it be meditating, writing, exercising, or drawing.
05/09 Direct Link
Life should be more about our actions, deeds, and our words, more than they should be about our thoughts and our thinking. While it may be great to have great thoughts and positive thinking, they are really nothing if not backed by actions.

Let the truth be told while being quite frank. She could really care less about you as I witness her constantly so engrossed into her i-Pod.

Open up your heart, stop holding stuff deep within, less you find yourself suffering for the rest of your life. Stop sugar coating everything, get focused, be here, be now.

OmÖ
05/10 Direct Link
Basically the calendar was based off the ancient people knowing how long it took Earth to go around the sun and the cycles of the moon; which gives us our lunar calendars. So in truth there are no calendars on a higher level of being and understanding.

She didnít tell me that she ate all that fried food with all kinds of sauces fucking up her health.

Stop buying the shit for her, to get her to stop eating all that fried shit.

Eat some vegetables, legumes, fruits, or go on a real serious forty days and forty night fast.
05/11 Direct Link
I am constantly reminding myself, to bring myself to the moment as my thoughts tend to fly away like exotic birds wanting to go to this island and to some place far off into the galaxies slightly past the Milky Way.

So the question is asked, how old are you, and my response is that I am seventy six trillion years old and then some.

To see beyond ourselves as individuals we must see ourselves as the whole collectively so that you become that which is collective.

We have to really realize that weíre not a name, or a title.
05/12 Direct Link
An absence of love,
an unfulfilled void,
a love that seems
to be dying
a very slow death,
is how I feel today.

Maybe I moved a little bit too fast, but she did not seem to be reacting to any of my gestures at all. She could not seem to part her tightly clenched lips and it was almost as though I was making love to a mannequin, except that this one was breathing. I would have been better off going to the gym instead.

Seriously...

Today I witness people buying flowers as though the flowers are becoming extinct.
05/13 Direct Link
The one thing about Brahmacharya is that in the physical sense we should watch, and direct our physical eyes away from the physical motions of women, as they walk with their sensuous and desirable bodies.

In the other aspect of Brahmacharya was that the very enticing thought of lust towards women in any form or fashion was to be noticed and vanquished right away.

You cannot practice yoga without being aware of your thoughts, which also includes your body.

Something just popped in my chest. Whatever it was just got released.

So if these are my last moments to writeÖ
05/14 Direct Link
Yesterday I had learned about Pratyahara because I actually took the time to look up what pratyahara meant in the first place. I do not think people realize how deep Yoga actually goes when it come to the mind.

I can really understand the importance in regards to reading, that when we read, we should look up every single word that we do not know the meaning of or its definition.

I did not go to the gym today. Once I saw the bed when I came home, I was enveloped into the comforter and into sweet melodic like dreams.
05/15 Direct Link
And by the pen that writes. This is a verse from the Holy Quran, Surah 68, the first verse. Thinking about this single verse, despite computers and the keyboard, I do not think I could ever stop writing with my pen on paper in cursive handwriting [which by the way is becoming a lost art]. Soon cursive handwriting will be like trying to write in calligraphy quite naturally.

Here I am counting how many words are on each line of this college ruled white paper. Is it possible that I can get some paper without the three holes in it?
05/16 Direct Link
In meditation itís important to be aware of our breathing process. After the meditation, the breathing process should be continued.

Noticing the breath may seem like a boring task, but when you think of the facts, that without the breath we would be dead; might make us appreciate the breath more.

Besides noticing the breath, be aware of the immediate moment and your surroundings.

Besides breathing, we should notice our thoughts and the images that go through our minds and how we focus on some thoughts solidifying them, and reject others without any inquiry.

Our thoughts shape who we are.
05/17 Direct Link
Itís our 10th Anniversary.

Now that she has had her menses I think Iíll go to the gym later on tonight after everybody has fallen asleep. Iíll make out a chart of all the things that I plan on doing when I go there as Iíve been doing with all of my other visits to the gym.

Thereís something about lifting weights and actually working that pleases me, despite some of the pain that comes along with it. In some ways I like that muscle pain in my body which assures me that I have really worked out those muscles.
05/18 Direct Link
When you finally set out to do something, do it as though it is the most important thing to do in the world.

So if youíre praying, then pray, if you are writing, then write, if you are eating, then simply eat, and so on down the path and along the roads and hillsides.

As I left this morning with the back seat full of laundry, I enjoyed and entertained the thought that I was going on some kind of magical journey.

Everyday could be a magical journey, but you have to know what magic is in the first place.
05/19 Direct Link
Perhaps we tend to not ask the questions of what she believes in, what kind of foods does she eat, how many men has she slept with, and a dozen other questions that would be worthwhile.

It could be possible that you see a woman of which the two of you have nothing in common.

How do you get along then with a non compatible woman, and would you even want to be with them anymore?

Then we cannot forget about the fact that she could have some kind of venereal disease or that she has some serious mental issues.
05/20 Direct Link
I just learned an interesting fact right now as far as what does a.m. and p.m. stand for?

It is Latin in its origins. Ante meridiem and post meridiem are what those abbreviations stand for which means before mid day and after mid day.

As I begin to learn that we don't need most of the things that we have, I can understand why people are so poor.

They are so busy trying to get the shit that they don't need. They and we are made to believe that we need all this stuff when in truth we do not.
05/21 Direct Link
In this particular meditation, the theme was non attachment. Not necessarily non attachment from physical things but non attachment to the various sounds that I was hearing.

Non identity was the word that I came up with as I listened to these sounds outside of me. Non identity meant that if I heard a car pass by, I would not even acknowledge it as anything, not even sound. I wouldnít put an image into my mind as to what it might look like even if I was supposedly so certain.

As the meditation continued I began to empty my mind.
05/22 Direct Link
Last night I had to train the new guy because the lead supervisor did not have any confidence at all in these other half way job colleagues that I work with.

I didnít want to train, but just to know that someone has confidence in you should speak volumes.

My only desire is that I would be getting paid for my extra effort. Designate me as a trainer with salary so I wonít have anything to complain about.

It seems that the trend tends to be that everyone I train wind up leaving because the work is just too much.
05/23 Direct Link
What would people think of us if they saw how we lived our lives in a movie form?

I completed my meditation noticing some intense passions that were burning inside of me and then realizing my death and that death is an excellent adviser.

Life should not be lived so dull and boring but it should not be lived in a crazy kind of way either.

So what is the best advice to give in how to live your life. My answer is to be true to yourself and honest and try to be as real as you possible can.
05/24 Direct Link
It is 22:13 and I donít feel like writing though I have plenty of things to write about. In some cases Iím not writing because I donít know what to write and then another case is where you have plenty to write but don't feel like writing it. Now can you see the paradox in that?

So they cancelled their invitation that they had initiated and I could see her whole world deflate like a pricked jumble balloon.

I complained to my mom, I complained, I complained, I complained.

If you want to complain, this is not the complaint department.
05/25 Direct Link
If you want to know what your attachments are, just look at all the shit that you have inside of your house.

Do you think that you could get up and just walk away from everything that you own and everything you say you love, leaving it all behind you?

One thing that we need to realize is that we are not our senses. The senses refer to the sense of sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste, and feeling.

See how it is our senses that guide us to do things and to take the actions that we do in life.
05/26 Direct Link
I was the one who was still awake while everybody else was sleeping. Was it the kosher turkey sandwiches?

Today for the most part I did not feel like doing anything at all. Normally my Sundays seems to be like that; feeling lazy and not wanting to do anything because I know that I have to go in to work.

I have read the introduction to Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism and it seems like one of the things that we tend to forget is that our bodies are not real in the sense that we attribute the body to being.
05/27 Direct Link
Overall what struck me about Ryokanís poem was the manner in which we use our words when we speak.

I honestly believe that ninety nine percent of the time that we do not choose the words that we use carefully. We just give back a quick answer without really thinking about what has been said.

We should not always be so quick to speak, especially in those dull and awkward moments where there is just silence.

For those who practice the silence there is really nothing awkward or dull about it at all because the silence is encouraged and desired.
05/28 Direct Link
Iím not this body.

When we say that we are not this body, we have to really realize that we are not this body and not just say it without any kind of contemplation.

Iím not these thoughts.

When you say that youíre not these thoughts, you have to really realize that youíre not these thoughts and not just say it without any kind of contemplation.

I am not this.
I am not x,
I am not y,
I am not z,
until
there is no more words
left to speak.

When thereís no words,
that is what I am.
05/29 Direct Link
While thinking about all of this and how I would have to be the initiator, it dawned on me what it meant to be a man.

Being a man is about accepting responsibilities that you've chosen to be responsible for and responsible for the ones that you know youíre responsible for rather you like them or not.

Inspiration is good, but you have to live up to it by reciprocating it through action and pure love.

I am sure people get inspired all the time, but how many people actually take action?

What will inspire you and get you motivated.
05/30 Direct Link
For every action there is a equal and opposite reaction. Iíve heard this said many times, and youíd think that perhaps I had been taking some kind of physics classes.

I think we can learn more by helping others, teaching others, sharing with others, loving each other, caring for each other, and cultivating compassion for life.

Think in terms of time investment, instead of investing money.

I think that emptiness is truly the way and that the less that we have the more happy and freer that we become. I donít think that it is necessary to carry unnecessary things.
05/31 Direct Link
Our matters of importance are nothing in comparison to the Universe. I realized how truly insignificant I am, [like a speck of dust or lower than that] almost brought tears underneath my sunglasses.

You won't live forever to practice these disciplines so itís best to start now. I was referring to the spiritual disciplines in general which could also cover the physical disciplines too.

Our bodies are temples in which resides God. With this being said we should try to care for our bodies more without and within and do our best to treat it as though it was sacred.