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10/01 Direct Link
Black crows are realists and have the true Zen spirit despite them being called evil and ominous simply because they are black.

Stop looking and see. Remove all the presumptions and see reality as it truly is in the present moment. When you see in this way you can know what people really think.

A pure heart is a non judgmental heart. A pure heart neither states it is good or that it is bad but that it is simply being.

When you are truly yourself, thatís when you are truly living each day as though it was your last.
10/02 Direct Link
In each moment of your life,
observe how you react
to outer stimuli.

Observe how you react
to people
and their mood swings,
your baby crying,
words you hear,
your immediate environment,
and analyze
the whyís to your reaction.

Why did you get angry over a comment and what was the root cause of you just flipping it when your two year old started acting up?

Adults are just like children.

Children will cry and kick for the toys they love only to get tired of them.

Adults cry until they get what they want, while never reaching true happiness.
10/03 Direct Link
I took a little time to read some of the entries that were written for today. I always say that a good writer reads the work of other writers. I read about the lives of other people and began to realize how we are all in this journey together. For those of us who take the time to post our words each month and stay consistent is like a special place. It can be a place of escape, a place of expression and a place to be for just a few minutes in time, our true selves without holding back.
10/04 Direct Link
I found it very difficult in my meditation today to breathe ten breaths without my mind receiving various kinds and sorts of images, coupled with a ceaseless internal dialogue that took me further away from the present moment.

To be able to smile genuinely is an art and a hidden power.

I donít like to smile if my smile is not genuine. Fake smiles just seem to be so ugly and deceptive.

Each day go about the Zen of X, Y, and Z so that in whatever you are doing you are taking the Zen approach in every single action.
10/05 Direct Link
Iíve noticed that in some of my zazen meditation sessions that sometimes I feel drowsy.

Should my zazen sessions make me feel sleepy and drowsy?

I answered my own question by saying no.

As I pay close attention, I notice that my posture is a bit off and slouched. The back must be straight.

Having an erect posture is not enough when you have an inner dialogue going on in your head about everything that has nothing to do with the present moment.

I have personally learned a valuable secret. Focus on your third eye region without wavering your attention.
10/06 Direct Link
Where can I buy a candle snuffer? Most stores donít sell them.

I remember my brother once telling me that it was not good to blow out a candle based on a book that he had read on Wicca.

I was always fascinated as a child seeing countless candles in the Buddhist monasteries on the kung fu movies that I used to watch.

I prefer soft light over the harsh lights that we have in our homes which hurt my eyes.

Just imagine if we were still using candles today as a source of light to see in the dark.
10/07 Direct Link
Heartburn on a smooth table cloth,
beeping answering machineÖ

Who will entertain
and engage
the crying children?

Another day wasted
of unaccomplished goals,
unaccomplished dreams.

People watching
and character sketches,
the art of war,
leadership, and generals,
gods and demons,
and we could be doing
so much more
in our lives
to increase love,
light, life, and wisdom
from within

besides watching porn,
smoking a joint,
or guzzling a bottle
of tequila down straight
with no chaser.
Theolonius MonkÖ

At work they say
there is a ghost.
An Asian lady
with long hair,
a blue blouse
and a white dress.
10/08 Direct Link
I keep thinking about my shift tomorrow. That is not what you call living in the present moment or practicing true Zen.

Sometimes we wonder why our blessings are not answered, or why it seems like Allah is not answering our prayers, while committing various sins that we know we should not be committing, neglecting our prayers, and everything else that we say that we believe.

Do we preach with our tongues and forget our own books and to practice what we are preaching?

The search for a candle snuffer is over now. I found one at the metaphysical bookstore.
10/09 Direct Link
To be a poet, one must be full of words and know how to use them.

If you donít want to do this awareness thing then you are really not being aware enough.

There is no separation from this or that. You are not separate from people or from things. Somehow you have to see yourself blended and becoming one with it all.

Look at that which prevents you or in your mind should not look at and see it for what it is. Try seeing and talking with the eyes, giving directions or speaking that deep space beyond language.
10/10 Direct Link
At what point do I become the floor that I am walking on and the walls that hold up this structure?

If you are associating things and actions in the present moment with a name or title then you are missing the point.

Walking should no longer be called walking and standing should no longer be called standing, so make it so.

There is no floor, no actions, no doing, or simply being, no mind, no self, consciousness, past, present, future, enlightenment, or heaven.

Where there is no back, front, up, down, left, right, good, or badÖ

There just isÖ
10/11 Direct Link
As I read more of the Zen poems and haikuís I realize that many of the flowers mentioned and tress are trees and flowers that I donít know what they look like. I can say the same thing about flowers that I see when I am walking down the street. So if I wanted to write inside my journal I would not be able to tell you what I saw. This is one drawback that has to end.

Now I will have to get books on various flowers and plants and the names of various birds, insects, and unknown animals.
10/12 Direct Link
NamelessÖ

So once I reached home from work, I changed my clothes for attire more suitable to the rain. My black trench coat, black hooded sweater and snow boots work just fine. I took the route via the secret passageway while being aware of my nameless state.

If I am nameless and without a name, so is everything else around me.

So there is no wet sidewalk, rain, trees, or Ashleigh the cashier at the store waiting for me or anyone else with a name or a title.

In the end, I walked out of the bookstore with more books.
10/13 Direct Link
In truth there is nothing that is separate. As human beings collectively weíre one organism though we may appear to be separate individuals.

The sad case about our ignorance is that we are literally killing ourselves each time we kill a human being. Often times we kill for senseless reasons.

Since beginning of time, you can see how we are connected due to the fact that we are all born in the same way and fashion.

Going deeper and beyond you will see that we all come from the same source and will return to the same source as well.
10/14 Direct Link
I wondered what life was like before we had rockets, satellites, GPS, internet, computers, airplanes, nuclear bombs, automobiles, television, sidewalks, streets, sky scrapers, big houses, and designer clothes.

Whatever happened to gazing at the moon and the stars, meditating on the classical sounds of flowing rivers and wolves who sung opera?

Whatever happened to the rhythmic rides on a sacred horse while breathing in the fresh air filled with 100 percent oxygen, or telling the stories by the fire, eating non preservative food and really living?

Those days seem to be gone forever, just another story told by the fire.
10/15 Direct Link
LSD and mushrooms do tend to have that here and now effect but the one in Zen is more controlled and long lasting.

There is no next best thing. Even if I am thinking that I will somehow attain enlightenment is senseless since enlightenment is another concept conceived to be some sort of thing that I can attain in my hand while stating here it is, Canít you see it right here.

There was not enough time to do a good pedicure so I had to just put on some socks and literally start running swiftly out of the door.
10/16 Direct Link
I enjoyed my meditation session this evening. This time I find myself aware of the various sensations inside of my body. We are like walking sensor receptors. Our only problem is becoming attached to the sensations, wanting to be a part of them.

In the middle of the night past midnight I find myself reviewing the four noble truths, the eight folded path and the 10 precepts, and the dhammapada.

As far as desires are concerned catch another bus if you have to, but donít torture yourself with dreams and imaginations. It is nothing more than another form of suffering.
10/17 Direct Link
In order to see, you need to see how youíre truly seeing things or think youíre seeing. You need to see how you are naming things as thus and attaching the names to the things as the ultimate thing and nothing else.

You need to see how you are identifying yourself as a self or an actual being with all kinds of names, titles, and concepts.

Iíve never been to Cold Mountain before, but I find myself having all sorts of dreams about its various shades, flowers, and fruits, while all sorts of poems are being recited in my head.
10/18 Direct Link
Who am I?

The more I ask myself this question the more I realize that in truth I really do not know.

Maybe the answer to this question is not an answer but something beyond comprehension or thinking and thoughts.

There is a part of me that is 24 hours. There is this observer inside of me that observes and really does not do anything but just observe under all the murkiness and confusion going on inside of my head.

It is this observer inside of me or inner self that I should really be trying to get acquainted with.
10/19 Direct Link
I recall while cutting chicken for the korma chicken and other activities throughout the day about being wholehearted about what you do or not at all.

Even if we do not like something, once we decide to take part in any activity no matter how mundane or boring it may seem, we should do so wholeheartedly.

Seeing the pigeon walking in the night and then suddenly flying away was the perfect Zen moment.

So did that mean that all the other moments are not so Zen?

Every moment should be a Zen moment,
a moment filled with awareness and awe.
10/20 Direct Link
Things are not what you think them to be and things do not necessarily turn out the way that you think they will. Events turn out to be different than how you rehearsed it in your mind which in the end gives you a completely different perspective on life.

Suddenly I became aware of shadows.

Do you see how shadows fall in absence of light?

If you can draw a shadow you could probably draw just about anything.

Pay more attention to shadows and how they influence the depth and measure of an object and how it is truly perceived.
10/21 Direct Link
He is so weird they said while snickering and chuckling with their fake laughs while I passed them by in the present moment fully aware of all my senses and every movement and motion of my body.

They failed to notice these mystical shoes meant for a walking mystic.

I phantomed that most people must be afraid of the present moment because living in the present moment meant they would have to eventually confront their self.

I am stepping through
the other side,
confronting my illusory self,
peeling away the layers
of falsehood
until I reach
the most emptiest states.
10/22 Direct Link
Leaves spiraling all around
falling like cosmic rain
in flip flop motions.

Fall
all
mystical
leaves
with natural surround
sounds of nature.

Down the creek,
water all rippled
close up cross hatched
in intricate designs.

While walking,
crunching leaves
beneath my mystical shoes
impossible to avoid.

A close up of leaves
whose veins are like
the dendrites in my brain,
whose patterns
can be seen everywhere,
in branched out branches
reaching sideways
and upwards
to the sky
for the stars in formation
and O
how miraculous
they are,
in complex formations,
clustered,
while other galaxies spiral
as in free fall.
10/23 Direct Link
People as a whole and in society have expectations in how you should act, look, and carry yourself. If you donít fit into the niche of expectations then you are considered to be an outcast, a rebel, terrorist, evil, et cetera.

These expectations are determined by whom?

Who gave this particular person or group of individuals to make these decisions?

I considered the possibility of being visited by other extraterrestrial life forms from a different planet and being asked what is our world like.

I think I would be able to give a good narrative of how it really is.
10/24 Direct Link
I am a MysteryÖ

It is miraculous to look up into the sky at the stars, yet more miraculous to see the stars and planets through a powerful telescope, seeing other galaxies non seeable with the naked eye.

This is all beautiful, but we donít have to look so far to see something so miraculous. The only thing we need to do is just look in the mirror.

Pick up any book on anatomy and how your body and brain is structured and donít fail to marvel at that.

We are so complexly structured, not really knowing our true selves.
10/25 Direct Link
In the day
rainbows as bright as the sun
never to be captured on camera
winds blow through my window
whispering frantically
in 10,000 different languages
rain splattered all about
like paint on a dry canvas
squirrels climb trees effortlessly
like tai chi.

I remember before television,
radios, cars, trains,
and superhighways,
when moon gazing was the thing to do
admiring the stars.

In this night
the air is cold and crisp
Iím staring hard at the moon,
the moon never blinks
just stares back
as various clouds pass it by.

Where
did all the ancient
people and poems go?
10/26 Direct Link
There is no inner or outward. There is only an inner and an outward because we have named it as such.

When you are walking you should not think that I am walking or when feeling the cold, I am feeling the cold. In fact you should not be thinking anything at all.

Once youíre free of thoughts and thinking, then youíll see everything as it truly is, which is lucid and luminous.

In the Zen process or being in the present moment itís not just about noticing details but your reactions to the details, events, your thoughts, and thinking.
10/27 Direct Link
Firdaus has been super wild lately with monstrous energy; enough energy to power an entire village or community.

He does not seem to know what to do with all of it besides jumping up and down so that the neighbor below can hear the loud pounding above them. He also has a tendency to jump on people while they are lying down with his sharp bones.

While I was lying down he tried to kick me at which point he got a severe spanking. I donít know where he gets the notion that this type of violent behavior is ok.
10/28 Direct Link
Today is the day that I attempted to organize all of my files. I did manage to start filing all of the Aís through Eís, but found that I had to make some new files. In order to eliminate the problem of knowing which files would need a new folder I thought that I could just write down all the files that I have on hand starting with the A through Mís and later with the N through the Zís. Itís not as really as bad as it looks but I know that I probably make it look that way.
10/29 Direct Link
I left King Soopers with quite a few groceries in my hand. Yes I need a car but what else can I presently do besides walking?

I helped Ani cut the chicken once it was thawed out. I definitely need to get my butcher knife blade sharpened.

We all enjoyed the curry chicken together as a family. Of course it wouldnít be too long before I would fall asleep again. I donít know why curry chicken always puts me to sleep usually taking me to some dreamland place.

Iím thinking that maybe it has something to do with the spices.
10/30 Direct Link
I reflected more on Zen and Sufism today. I considered the similarities and what was not so similar.

I can see why Zen can be considered to be atheistic in its origins. There is no mention of God in Zen.

Sufism on the other hand considers Allah as the center of reality contemplating Allah in every moment.

One question that needs to be asked is Zen a religion.

What is the definition of religion? ďa set of beliefs concerning the origin and purpose of the universe.Ē

Does God have to be involved for a religion to be considered a religion?
10/31 Direct Link
I was sitting at the bus stop early in the morning and while waiting just observed my surroundings. It was quiet like most Sunday mornings, fresh clean air, chattering birds, and crows cawing here and over there. The more I observed my surroundings in the present moment, the more I began to feel like I was in some kind of dream.

It wasnít that I was just observing, but I was observing without judgments and trying my best not to give names or titles to what I was seeing.

A tree was not a tree,
a crow wasnít a crow.