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06/01 Direct Link
Today I read parts of an article dealing with destiny, recent events with the Israeli's and the flotilla aid, and about our brothers and sisters in China who are tortured merely for practicing Islam.

I keep asking myself, after Mao Tse-Tung, is communism still alive and kicking in China?

If communism is practiced in Cuba why not China too!

Why are the Israeili's able to get away with murder, and why are they never sanctioned, or asked to disarm their nuclear arms?

Destiny says we should embrace our destiny and except the fact that the way things are, simply are.
06/02 Direct Link
Without a plan, how do you plan to proceed?

How often do we go about each day of our life not knowing how we are going to accomplish our goals?

If you want to build your own house
you canít just start building it
without a plan.

You need to know how big it will be.
Will it be a two story
or a three story?

Where will the rooms be,
doors, and windows,
and kitchen?

Will you have hardwood floors or marble?

Our lives are the same.

Without a plan
someone else is bound
to make one for you.
06/03 Direct Link
I read more of Waking up to What You Do by Diane Enshin Rizzetto which is another book Iíve added to my Zen collection.

Rizzetto sounds more Italian than Japanese to me but its okay, anyone can practice Zen.

Iím studying the action before the action and the thoughts that trigger them. Everything we do is based off of some want, or need.

Going to the toilet requires the action of standing up, walking, and sitting.

Before moving I asked myself what I should do now, and then asked myself why do we need to necessarily do anything at all.
06/04 Direct Link
I took Ani to the Asian market today. She was very excited until she discovered that most of the food that they were selling was expired.

We passed by the Chinese restaurant that my Chinese class went to during the spring semester. The same restaurant that my boss had called me stating I had to return to work urgently.

I found myself in Human Resources that day because an employee was too damn scared to tell me that he was offended by a picture I had of Osama bin Laden and two of his lieutenants from a cut out newspaper.
06/05 Direct Link
Around 03:00 in the morning I think I found a bed bug. I pray that it is not a bed bug.

Later in the day I bought salmon and other ingredients so that we can make salmon sandwiches.

I watched District 9 knowing that there has to be a part II but wondered if it was possible or not. My search on the computer looks like part II will be called District 10. Iím eager to know how it will turn out.

I sometimes wonder how much truth is in all the alien movies that have been put on film.
06/06 Direct Link
I thought Canadians were generally cool and laid back, but this lady from Toronto was being a real bitch as she made her bitchy demands causing some other guests to get evicted for having a loud party.

I skated around today in the hot summer heat but paced myself so I wouldnít faint or have a stroke.

Some people think they know when a woman wants sex by saying that they put on their fuck face. I wondered what kind of face would that be and if the theory has been proven or not.

Thereís only one way to know.
06/07 Direct Link
ĒMy nagging ex,Ē
the only words that I have to describe her. Constantly calling me and constantly bickering. I think what she really needs is a good fuck.

If you want to really do good in school, work a full time job, and a part time job, then you need to get the ideal of sleep out of your head. The absence of sleep equals so many things being done.

I have a bed bug project and donít have a bed. They are also known to live inside of your luggage and in the cracks of the walls and floors.
06/08 Direct Link
Abang was back from his vacation in Texas so I had to return his keys and car. I continually wonder when I will be able to get a car again that I can call my own. Money doesnít grow on trees.

I believe that there was a lot of miscommunication in the air mixed with some unexpressed anger that was pent up inside. I did not get a chance to explain anything and realized that if that silence lingered for too long that some problems would arise.

With a bit of wisdom and open communication I managed to squash everything.
06/09 Direct Link
Zenfully I sit on this bench
basking in the sun,
drinking my tea,
and waiting
for the bank to open.

Meanwhile
in my zenful state
as I sit,
I simply watch
the people
or should I say
the women.

I watch as people get on
and off the shuttle bus
rushing here, rushing there
with coffee in hand.

I listen to conversations of people
and conversations of birds
mixed with traffic.

I could sit here all day
contented with myself,
pen, and journal in hand,
writing about my observations,
and these various
states of mind
and how we strive futilely.
06/10 Direct Link
We walked in the heavy summer rain while another part of the sky was full of sunshine and to our surprise and directly behind us, a strong double rainbow; one rainbow on top of another. It was another one of those awe inspiring expressionless moments.

Everything is mystical;
the ground
that we walk on,
the air that we breathe
and the sweet smell
that rain brings
with gentle breezes,
the ambrosia of various things
seen and unseen beings.

More awareness means an increased mystical experience. There really isnít a need to look for the mystical in drugs or the Himalayas.
06/11 Direct Link
Thoughts donít just pop up in our heads and actions are not performed randomly.

Our actions are based off thoughts. Some of our thoughts on the other hand are triggered by sensations and our five senses.

Youíre walking down some street, when suddenly you smell an apple pie. Now you are suddenly thinking about an apple pie,
who prepared it,
how much were the ingredients,
and if you should go out and buy one.

Before your walk you were not hungry
but now the smell alone has you thinking about an apple pie.

Sight and feeling has the same effects.
06/12 Direct Link
I enjoyed my first try, of a cup of Pacific Rim Blend coffee which is from Sumatra and Papua New Guinea.

We have been having some peculiar weather which has gone from extreme summer heat to extreme heavy rain down pours. Technically weíre still in spring people say and summer does not begin until the 21st.

My theory on bed bugs could be wrong, it could be dust mites or some unknown flesh eating bacteria.

Something was wrong with my ex again today. She looked like she was possessed by some sort of demon.

Keep the people entertained with television.
06/13 Direct Link
Good journal writing that has substance and life requires that I be more truthful with myself.

Truth isnít just about talking about Allah, angels, saints, scriptures, and the good righteous community.

Truth deals with the things we pretend we donít see. Itís the side we donít want to face because itís so ugly in our minds.

The beautiful thing about facing that dark side is that we give ourselves the opportunity to shed light where light has never been shed and perhaps give love to a side that has been neglected, thus enabling us the chance to evolve and grow.
06/14 Direct Link
Respect death
but cherish life.

Spacious coffee shops
and math lectures
more coffee
to keep
from nodding.

Post office blues
a birth certificate
from the embassy
can I have
your autograph please?

Back home again,
wake me up at 5
with Godís signature
find a beetle
and examine it
by flipping some tricks
itís time to go
skateboarding soon.

Off to work
get salaams
from your wife
and see a slither
of a quarter moon
with a piercing star on top
while realizing
that children are
the most truthful
beings on earth.

Would you like another cup of mystical Zen?
06/15 Direct Link
I donít know, but math seems different to me now. All I can remember in my younger days is that I did not like it. Now I find myself interested in almost all of its subjects but donít see myself making a major out of it.

ďMath and science are lame subjects for many. However the average skateboarder does not realize that he or she is utilizing principles of math and physics with every trick.Ē I read this in a book today and realize that everything in this universe is comprised of some form of mathematics.

Some math being incomprehensible.
06/16 Direct Link
I am more than certain that I want to improve my day to day life on a more spiritual level, while attaining deeper levels of consciousness and awareness, versus living a life of struggling and striving to accumulate more material things that will only bog me down spiritually.

As far as the physical world is concerned I would like to have a strong healthy body and start eating less.

I want to go back to the way I was eating on one meal every other three days and maybe eliminating chicken out of my life and just eat more fish.
06/17 Direct Link
There is another type of culture emerging if it has not already emerged. Culture has come to mean so many things. In the past culture has been limited to a particular tribe or group of people. Nowadays it seems that culture is blending with other cultures. You see people with the stretched piercings, the tattoos, and various other piercings of the body which come from other cultures around the world. In modern times we have to embrace the modern culture which could be a combination of past cultures. My culture is a combination of the ancient mixed with the present.
06/18 Direct Link
Do you call it sexual perversion or unfulfilled desires when someone loves sex passionately and obsessively?

How many women protest about sucking on dick even if it is their boyfriend or husband by making up all kinds of excuses as to why they canít do such a thing?

How many of these same women would change their minds and suck dick if they were offered a million dollars.

If a woman does not desire to satisfy their mates desires should they get mad if their mate finds someone who does?

A woman has no protests if you lick their vulvas.
06/19 Direct Link
I saw the Body Works advertisement stating that it was ending in a few weeks.

I thought about how one day my body could easily be part of that exhibition and how one day I will not be anymore. I will not be the breathing thinking person that I am today. Such thoughts made me realize that our purpose on Earth had to be far more important than trying to get some high paying job or degree in learning from some university.

Do we live each day of our lives as though it is the last?

There is no tomorrow.
06/20 Direct Link
Itís easy to get caught up in these so called holidays and made up days such as Fatherís Day. No one really cares about Fatherís Day in comparison to Motherís Day. The money making industry makes more money on Motherís Day.

Why make one day out of the year and the hottest season to be Fatherís Day?

Every day is Fatherís Day. For each day you have to struggle and support your family, rear your children, see the frowns of your unhappy wives, deal with the stressful world, and bills piling up sky high is Fatherís Day, the unappreciated day.
06/21 Direct Link
I walked to the store taking my sweet precious time. By doing so I managed to really feel the true spirit of Zen.

Zen is about taking your sweet time and not rushing things. When you do things you are not really trying to do anything in general or at least not trying so hard to do it. Itís called doing things effortlessly. You can do a lot in this spirit.

Today is Go Skateboarding Day, which is globally recognized among skaters. Right now I really feel like going out to skate even if it is only for thirty minutes.
06/22 Direct Link
It must be embarrassing to be amongst your people and not be able to speak your own language and mother tongue. It is even worst when you learn the history as to why you canít speak your own mother tongue. Some people donít have an excuse.

Meanwhile, the sex session did not seem to go so well especially since she was going to sleep. Who gets pleasure from a lifeless human being?

Do you mean to say that I will get more pleasure through masturbation and watching porno videos? I thought a spouse was to help prevent that from happening.
06/23 Direct Link
Desire for sex deep within is a desire for what?

Do we enjoy sex because of the sensuality involved and how it makes us feel?

When I think of love, I can think of several different forms of love.

There is loving kindness and compassion in Buddhism, Sufic love comprising the love of Allah, and yogic love, also known as bhakti love.

If you follow these different love paths they can eventually all lead up to the same thing and experience simply because love is Universal no matter where you go or on what planet you happen to live on.
06/24 Direct Link
Oftentimes weĎre told to guard our prayers but itís not just our prayers that need to be guarded.

We should strive to guard our minds, our thoughts, and our actions.

The one thing about the devil is that anytime you take a path or choose to partake in an action that will lead you closer to God or to self realization the devil tries his best to prevent you from performing the higher actions.

Thereís a higher form of consciousness that would make us happy beyond reason forcing us not to want to trade it for anything in the world.
06/25 Direct Link
We had a power outage in our apartment building. As soon as I opened my front door all of the power went out as though I had just walked through some time zone.

It was funny to me because earlier in the morning I had been reading about solar flares and how it would affect our so called advanced technology.

What will people do without their cell phones and cable television?

It is moments like this that I really realize how out of touch humanity is with themselves and the Earth that we live on.

Technology has become our god.
06/26 Direct Link
There is a rainbow outside our living room window.

Iím going through some of my old emails reminiscing on some old stuff.

Do you see where my pornography historical search has lead me? It has led me to some erotica website.

It seems that the difference between erotica and pornography is that in erotica they do not show any penetration.

Erotica is supposed to be more graceful full of artistic expression while pornography is supposed to be more about pure sensual contact fucking action.

Erotica could be described as soft porn as it eludes itís so called innocence and gracefulness.
06/27 Direct Link
Sex can be like a drug.

Sex is just as natural as anything else that Allah has created in this Universe. How we use sex is what makes the difference.

I wondered what kind of world this would be if every woman on Earth refused to participate in pornography, modeling in the nude, or showing off their bodies, exciting the desires of men, and if women covered themselves when they went out into the public.

I wondered what kind of world this would be if women didnít strip in the strip clubs or if they didnít prostitute themselves for money.
06/28 Direct Link
Every single day somebody will die. It will not be just somebody, but several bodies. Someday it will be you. Who knows when that uneventful day will be?

Maybe it will come today when you least expect it, or maybe it will come when you do.

How often do you reflect upon your death?

Are you really doing the things in your life that you really want to do or are you striving to be your real self.

Arenít you tired of living the false life of pretending which is full of shams?

You should reflect on death every day.
06/29 Direct Link
Sex should not be done so mechanically where we are not completely involved in the sacred act.

Each sexual act should be done in a sacred manner where preparations are being made with such elements as incense, perfumes, candles and well groomed bodies. Sex should be performed as though it is our last act.

Taking this a step further our day to day actions should not be done so mechanically either even if we have done the acts a thousand times before.

Each action should be performed with a full awareness that never ceases from our day to day lives.
06/30 Direct Link
I swear by Allah and the Holy Quran that I should have never called off from work and postponed going to school today.

I was exhausted this morning and my body was sore. I thought that I would be able to have a good time with the family today until she snapped because the baby sat on her face; I assume while she was sleeping.

In our idiotic logicalness I think that sometimes we forget the difference between an adult, teenager, child, and infant.

We forget that we were once children too.

YeahÖ me and my kids are the problem.