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05/01 Direct Link
Recorded voices from the past
that sounded like voices of the future.
A radical militant mystic melody,
petaled rose ambrosias
flowed from my lips
and now twenty years later
had anything changed.
Am I still the same?

Am I growing and aging with wisdom like cultured cheese which tastes good with grapes and crackers.

This is one reason why I think taping ourselves and writing in journals are priceless.

You can see yourself from another perspective if you review your voice and writings years later.

I canít believe that more than three decades of my life has passed.

Time flies.
05/02 Direct Link
Today I will be going to work at 19:00.

I often think on the time when I will not have to work. When I say this I mean to say that I would still be in good health.

I would not have to work because Iím doing my own thing, or because I have found a way to live without money, or somehow Iíve accumulated a large sum of money.

It isnít my desire to be rich to where I canít sleep at night. Money is the last thing on my mind.

Having genuine happiness comes to my mind often.
05/03 Direct Link
Today is the last day of my math class and we have the option to take our final on the 5th of May if we so desired. I chose the 5th to buy more time to study. I never did like taking tests or feeling like I was not prepared.

However the case may be, the last day of anything seems to be so saddening and depressing. The last day of anything is almost like saying goodbye and goodbye forever.

In school it seems that right when everyone seems to start getting to know each other school has just ended.
05/04 Direct Link
I had to laugh when I read about this. It says that on this day in 1494 Christopher Columbus discovered Jamaica.

I donít know why but when I read about him discovering America I always get the impression that he never left there.

But letís rewind the tape first.

How can you discover something when somebody is already there, and living there well established, and had been living there way before you got there?

The Arawak Indians were in Jamaica before Columbus got there. I guess they give him the credit because he was the first European in Jamaica maybe.
05/05 Direct Link
Today is Cinco De Mayo and the last day of my math class and finals. All last week I was going to the campus to make up all the tests I missed while I was in Singapore and making up the 25 hours I needed to have accumulated while in the math lab.

All that you do in the math lab is basically sign in and do math homework or you could even sleep if you wanted to.

After today I will have free time again before the next semester starts. More than likely I will be getting more rest.
05/06 Direct Link
I was reading in HUDA about Iranian girls that had been barred from playing soccer according to the FIFA rules and regulations. FIFA stands for Fťdťration Internationale de Football Association.

Part of their rules state that nothing can be worn that hinders one from playing soccer. They are trying to say that a womanís hijab bars them from playing soccer effectively. This is another absurd move to give Muslims a hard time.

A new law that the kafirun are trying to pass is to ban women from wearing the niqab which is a veil that covers the womanís entire face.
05/07 Direct Link
It seems that some of the racist acts in Arizona are spilling over into California. Iím sure that mostly everyone is aware of the immigration laws that they are passing in Arizona.

I was reading in La Voz De Atzlan about how some Mexican students were being made fun of, mocked, and had their Mexican flags taken away by school administrators.

Why are things like this happening in a country that is supposed to be so free and a so-called melting pot for all?

Making slogans like go back to Mexico and Africa are still alive and well in Amerikkka.
05/08 Direct Link
The whole milk would have been for Uwais but he has no desire for milk anymore and has been drinking orange juice as a substitute. There is a lot of concern that maybe he is not getting the calcium and vitamins that he needs for his developing body.

Did anyone know that we get our vitamin D from exposure to the sun and that calcium does not come from milk? Calcium comes from plants and the animals that feed on these plants.

So can someone explain to me "the milk does a body good," campaign because I donít understand it?
05/09 Direct Link
It looks like I will be working 19:00 to 07:30 every Sunday in this month. These are 12 hour shifts. Iím not complaining at all but I hate going to work early in the day. I would prefer to go late in the night and get off late in the morning.

I guess that I have become so use to working the night shift that I have become nocturnal. Sometimes in the morning the Sun seems to be so bright for my eyes. I have always said that if I were any night animal it would definitely be an owl.
05/10 Direct Link
Coucil on American Islamic Relations reports another case of police brutality in Seattle where racial slurs were made to a Mexican who had been repeatedly kicked on the ground.

I wonder if anyone ever thought on what or how many cases of police brutality went unreported or how many cases were not captured on video tape?

This will continue to happen especially in poor communities where people feel defenseless and vulnerable.

What will the police do when people start standing up for themselves?

There are ways and methods to overcome this brutality and abuse in general. We need more vigilantes.
05/11 Direct Link
Today I learned how to play mancala, an ancient game which originated in Africa and Asia. While the game may seem simple and like a childs game, lots of strategy is involved.

It's hard to play this game when you have a little 20 month old baby trying to grab at the little pieces on the board.

Tonight it is raining and the weather report finally materialized after several days of supposed rain.

I will be walking in that rain tonight as I go to work and wait for the bus at the bus stop.

I look forward to it.
05/12 Direct Link
I walked in the rain tugging along behind me one of those trolley carts that you see old ladies with when they go to the grocery store.

They say that this is Spring weather but there was snow on the ground and it was colder than November.

As I walked I reflected on my financial situation, my family, and how what looked like a bad situation.

The flip side to my analysis was the realization that what may seem like a bad situation could be good due to our limited knowledge of the future and the unknowns.

Only Allah knows.
05/13 Direct Link
She just had to have her menses on my day off. Of course I was not upset about it, knowing that one can't change the course of nature. I had the intuitive feeling yesterday that she was going to have it today and my premonitions were correct.

In the meantime I looked at the collection of books that I have which is building regarding sex.

The sex encyclopedia which covers every sex word from A to Z from ancient times to modern times.

The Kama Sutra which I have not completed reading and books about various positions that seem impossible.
05/14 Direct Link
Why is it that in most restaurants and hotels that dish washers tend to be men?

The answer is simple.

Most women do not know how to wash dishes.

I can recall many cases of cups with lipstick still on it, milk and coffee stains and rice grains still in the bowl.

It seems that when women wash dishes they just dip the dishes in the water and put it in the dish rack.

When men wash dishes they tend to have a Zen attitude towards washing dishes being careful to be sure that there is no stains left over.
05/15 Direct Link
It became clear to me today that you can't necessarily trust that when you are the head of a household that your orders will be followed through.

As with a family, it's the same with a company.

The boss can't always trust that his employees will carry out his orders. That is why we have supervisors and managers.

It seems that inspections must be carried out and constant instructions given out to be sure things are done the way you want them to be.

Did you do your homework?

Has his diaper been changed?

Are you recycling all the recycables?
05/16 Direct Link
Everything is a product of thought.
Every inorganic thing you see
is a result of thought.

A car,
house,
bicycle,
and clothing
was a result of someone elseís thought.

Trees, animals, planets, and stars are someone elseís or the thoughts of some highly intelligent Being. These types of thoughts dealing with creation should be marveled at.

My body is a product of thought.

Who or what had thoughts of bringing me into existence or manifestation?

Some aspects of the way I live are the results of my thoughts and thoughts of others. Sometimes thoughts clash with each other causing wars.
05/17 Direct Link
Today is our seventh anniversary.

Presently I am hungry and I think my tolerance for dairy products has a limit. Iím beginning to think that maybe the Ďmilk does a body good campaigní may have its flaws coupled with the so called basic food groups.

My daughter drank up all of the lemonade, but would be happy to make some more if only she knew how.

Mindfulness of the mind,
and how we imprison ourselves,
and how our endless search
to satisfy all of our desires disappoints us.

Happiness is an illusion.

Enlightenment evades us now and Iím still hungry.
05/18 Direct Link
Within my poverty I see my richness.

Yes itís possible for
meditation in the morning
meditation in the night
despite all of the noise,
the whining baby
and the shouting voices.

I can see the beauty within.
How beautiful it is.

I love foreign languages and words but could do without them in the presence of silence.

The winds greet me on my way to the bus stop and on my way to work.

Breathe in
breathe out.

Yes it would be worth my while
to learn about
the mons veneris,
vulva,
labia majora,
labia minora
and the famous clitoris.
05/19 Direct Link
Ok, I stand to be corrected and Iím sure a lot of other people out there.

All this time Iíve been calling the entire genital area of the woman the vagina, when in truth this is not the case. The outer part is actually called the vulva and the vagina is actually hidden from view. I guess itís true that some of the best things in life are unseen.

I realize that our power with words is the ability to identify things and communicate to others on what we see.

Words alone do not necessarily make it so and thus.
05/20 Direct Link
I read an article in HUDA About Islam that Jay Leno made a joke and said ďThe first magazine for gay Muslims is being published in the Middle East. Itís called, Run!

I didnít find it too funny at all.

Then the question was asked on rather or not it is considered ok. My first comment is why did God destroy Sodom and Gomorrah in the Bible?

Isnít it true that God made Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve?

Besides all of this being said, you do not need a book to know whatís right, just study nature.
05/21 Direct Link
Today is Friday and I missed my Jumuah prayers again. Itís not supposed to be an option on rather or not if I want to go as it says in the Holy Quran,

ďO you who believe,
when the call is proclaimed
for the prayer
on the day of Friday
come to the remembrance of Allah
and prayer
and leave off business,
that is better for you
if you did but know.Ē

ĒThen when the Friday prayer is finished,
you may disperse through the land
and seek the bounty of Allah
and remember Allah much,
that you may be successful."
05/22 Direct Link
Sports Authority didnít sell Sk8 shoes there and besides this they were way too expensive. I wound up buying a pair at Payless Shoes. Since when did Payless start selling Airwalks? The price was not cheap in my opinion coming from Payless but at the same time, these shoes are not cheap either. I had to buy new sk8 shoes since my blue beat up Converse that I left in Singapore were all beat up. Iím sure that they are in the trashcan by now. No one understands why beat up sk8 shoes should look the way that they do.
05/23 Direct Link
I keep getting emails from Thrifty Rental Car Company. Because I am receiving these emails proves that most companies lie when they swear up and down that they wonít share your email with others or send you email. When I get their emails I keep thinking that itís going to be an email stating that I have to pay that ticket in California when I sped through the toll way San Francisco booth without paying. By the time I realized that I was in the wrong lane it was way too late and I didnít see anyone manning the booths.
05/24 Direct Link
If you knew nothing about the planet earth you would probably after studying humans think that the purpose of life is to make money, buy, accumulate, and purchase things, and pay off bills.

I canít help but to wander in the past when there was no such thing as money. If you wanted food or water you had to find it for yourself, not having it in some building called Safeway Supermarket.

I wonder about advanced life forms on other planets also. Our concept of money is probably primitive in their eyes even laughable at the mere thought of it.
05/25 Direct Link
I finally changed my password on my account not realizing that kakak had been checking my emails that the teacher and principal had been sending to me. She is like at the crossroads now and the border line of having to repeat the fourth grade again. That would not look so good on my part as the father and at the same time my ex wife is on my back like this mad monkey with some terrible unknown laboratory psychotic disease. I think the only way to completely lose her is move out of this state. I mean that literally.
05/26 Direct Link
Today was the first day that I went out skateboarding again since I had come back from Singapore last month. What took me so long?

I had so much luggage and everyone told me to leave my old skate shoes in Singapore. They were so thrashed that I needed to buy a new pair.

It took me some time before I actually had the money to buy more skate shoes to begin with. Skating brings me great solace. I feel as though I am riding on the wind.

I still have dreams of all my skate friends from high school.
05/27 Direct Link
I got some Cadbury chocolate for her as a surprise. They say that chocolate has the tendency to make a woman horny and I donít know if I can say the same thing for men. What were the actual studies that went into the study for this project?

I bought some mangoes for myself and a lemon for kakakís science project. Are you going to make electricity?

Wouldnít that be great, to be able to make electricity with lemons? How many lemons would we have to waste?

I wouldnít be willing to sacrifice a good old fresh glass of lemonade.
05/28 Direct Link
Today I bought several tomatoes, onions, Thai coconut milk and some potatoes for the curry chicken that we are supposed to be eating today.

I love curry and I love Indian food. Eating anything curry will always continue to remind me of Singapore.

I know that the time that I lived there is only a small glimpse of India. Personally I would like to visit the actual country to see how it really is there, and most of all taste the food as it is authentically cooked.

I bought sugar and flour because Ani thinks she can make roti pratas.
05/29 Direct Link
As I skated today landing easy tricks and not so easy, I learned a few lessons which can be used in our day to day life.

Learning to land tricks can be scary, because sometimes weíre afraid that we will fall, bang our shins, or never land it.

It is only when we attempt to land the trick by removing our fears that our chances are increased.

Facing our fears dead on helps us to evolve and grow in life.

Once we learn how to land something, we give room to learn something more, and maybe combine elements to evolve.
05/30 Direct Link
Should I feel sorry for the homeless man whose ancestors were responsible for dehumanizing an entire race of people? After stating I had no funds to give, his mouth was full of curse words.

Empty the mind.

The Art of Emptiness has to be one of the most beautiful arts in my opinion.

To have nothing is to have everything,
once you learn to let it all go.

Our forever grasping mind diverts our attention from the more important pertinent things that really need our attention, such as the present moment and our breathing which is often taken for granted.
05/31 Direct Link
Mind over matterÖ

Mind over mindÖ

Elevating the mind beyond mindÖ

First step to mastery involves mind over matter. This includes controlling our physical and sexual appetites and all the outer material stimuli that affects the senses.

Then comes mind over mind where we deal and interact with people on a day to day basis.

Do you allow people to get into your nerves?

Do you allow your emotions to get the best of you, or do you rise above your emotions into a higher level of thinking?

Lastly to elevate your mind to no mind is the highest state.