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08/01 Direct Link
I read this passage today in a book entitled Death Resurrection Hell by Harun Yahya.

Death may catch up with you anytime. Who knows, maybe this is the moment or, it may be much closer than you have ever expected. These lines can be the last opportunity, the last reminder, the last warning before death comes upon you. As you proceed with these lines, you can never know that you will still be alive in the next hour. Death will, most likely, come upon you at a time when, only a moment before, you never thought about dying.

Death reflected…
08/02 Direct Link
I know that deep in her head she is like “ I am the queen!,” especially since the name she was given at birth was named after an Egyptian Queen.

The one thing that I think she forgets though is that I was once her king. I never stopped being the king when we divorced and I see why we are not together with her head strong demands.

I am not obligated to do anything for you at all.

She knows the weakness of my tender heart and still tries to prey off of it like some mad ravaging desirous wolf.
08/03 Direct Link
I watched Dark Knight at the theatre today. I have already heard some rumors about the movie. For instance, Heath Ledger who plays the joker died because the part and role he played in the movie was so stressful. Someone else had said that his woman had left him and he simply ended his life.

What idiot would end his life after making so much money?

This story would be like another one of those tragedy stories,
where love conquers all,
and overcomes all the things
that were deemed important.

Love will make you do some strange and crazy things.
08/04 Direct Link
I found Johnny’s pork skins on the desk to be highly offensive to me.
Get that shit out of here.

I’m quite sure that I fell asleep several times at dispatch and not sure who may have seen me. I think the newspaper people saw me sleeping. I was wondering who that big fat white girl was who thought she was all sexy. She was just a wad of fat under her summer dress.

I saw that one Muslimah sister who I think is Moroccan and Egyptian or something in that category. We need to talk if you’re not married.
08/05 Direct Link
Al ashraa ruyar jioona ilal haawiyati, kullul amamin naaseena Allaah. This verse comes from Psalms chapter 9 verse 17 in an Arabic Bible.

The translation of the verse says “The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”

I know many times that some Christians will argue with Muslims about the name of God.

If they were to read their own Bible in the Arabic language the translation would say the same thing.

Allah...

I have found it difficult to find an Arabic Quran. I seek one for deeper studies on Islam and truth bearers.
08/06 Direct Link
My focus is on cleaning up this apartment which is a mess. It seems to stay that way even after really getting it cleaned.

I burned the bean soup that was on the stove which turned out to be a good thing, because I don’t know where I was going to have the time to cut all the vegetables that needed to be cut.

I wound cooking spinach dhal with the two dollars and 21 cents I had in my bank account, the 1 dollar in my wallet and scraped up $14 in the tattoo bank I had been saving.
08/07 Direct Link
I’m at 150 pounds like I wanted to be.
I don’t want everyone knowing my weight.

At least I’m not fat hiding out in some roach and cat infested house calling the Oprah hotline about how miserable I am and that I need help.

I missed fajr prayer this morning but it was not done intentionally.

Nowadays I am just wearing shorts because it gets so hot in this apartment here.

I spent considerable time cleaning the kitchen and called that an accomplishment along with cleaning the bathroom and washing the clothes.

After that I was in plain rest mode.
08/08 Direct Link
We see the guitar player playing guitar so well and we say how we want to play like that guitarist, not knowing how long it took him to get that good.

We see the pianist and the artist and think the same thing not considering the time it would take to reach those levels if we desire to be like them.

In the back of our minds we know that there is something more than this.

I personally catch myself being enticed by the allurements of this world often.

I know that I’m better off in deep meditation or asanas.
08/09 Direct Link
Today is the second day of my 12 hour shift which I’m eating like candy. It is nothing like the hours I worked in Temasek.

Everyone is talking about the Olympics, but what does Olympic mean and originate.

I need to master the other head and appetite and enter into real life and true healing.

The Buddhist precepts have come to mind on right action; choosing right from wrong in each moment.

Almaz just walked up,
the beautiful Amazonian
Ethiopian sister,
my East African studies.

Watch my thoughts as well and reflect on the Patanjali precepts and my spiritual notebook.
08/10 Direct Link
The Spectacle of Death is a good book.
Are you prepared to meet your Maker?

Our only purpose for being here is to realize the illusion and to know the Knower;
ultimate reality.

Why would God put us in an illusionary world or even make one? It isn’t to say “don’t be partakers of the world” but we must focus on our real goals and realizations.

Who am I trying to impress with my small unconscious innuendos and fake shit?

The only one worth impressing is Allah subhana wa ta ala.

Anything besides this doesn’t deserve worship
praise
or fear.
08/11 Direct Link
I was watching some program on channel 12 about Mahmoud Darwish called Democracy Now. He was a Palestinian poet some say and had died recently.

I looked him up in my Scholastic encyclopedias and was disappointed that he was not in there. If he was so well known why wasn’t he in the encyclopedia?

I realized that I was more in possession of a white European oriented set of encyclopedias more than I was towards an original minded framework.

I know that when it comes to Islam and hidden Black studies I will not find much in this Scholastic encyclopedia.
08/12 Direct Link
Aden says that my handwriting looks like Italian handwriting and we both laughed. Is there really a difference between French, Italian, and English handwriting?

At the moment of death will you cry because of all the things and property you will be leaving behind and loved ones in grief? Or will you die with a smile on your face being happy about the whole process of it all? What is this thing called death?

You can stretch your mind to other planets to see other beings and even beyond that. All it takes is just a little imagination and beliefs.
08/13 Direct Link
Now we are officially at our new office now. Every department seems to be envious about it, but we really deserved it.

I listened to BBC news tonight as I am finding my music mode dying away.
Sometimes I just don’t listen to anything at all.
I am comfortable with the silence.

While listening to BBC the Jewish engineer (who does not know that I know he is Jewish but might have an idea that I know) asked what I was listening to and seemed surprised.

I’m not stupid like you think I am.

All he did was smile mischievously.
08/14 Direct Link
I watched a caption on Muhammad Ali on PBS and washed more clothes to add to a large hill of piled clothes that yearned to be folded.

In the evening I found out that Raphsody did charge my card even after I cancelled it and now I have an overdraft fee as a result of this. $35 that I could of used for food or clothing will deplete my savings.

I was really pissed off about this and talked to some lady who sounded like she was from India.

She probably was in India and I wasn’t really that surprised.
08/15 Direct Link
Dreaming While Awake is the name of an actual book as the thought had came to mind, is it possible to dream while in so called waking consciousness.

On a deeper level,
is it possible for us to do
the things that we do
in our dreams
in the so called
waking life.

I say the so called waking life because sometimes it can be difficult to discern.

A perfect example is when you are dreaming and you are forced to ask yourself am I dreaming or is this real.

What is real?

Painting your dreams, is painting your reality.
08/16 Direct Link
A black hole is a direct result
of an aspect
of our universe
that knew all along
suddenly decided
to surrender to the void
as humans sometimes do
certain aspects of the void.

Daily mantra is the spiral,
started drawing
cosmic mystic spirals.

Holding on dearly to everything and for what?

In the end we die,
taking nothing,
no one gets out alive.

So why not just die now.
I’m not talking about suicide.
I’m talking about detaching ourselves
from things,
this world,
and the illusions in life.

I enjoyed listening to Sarah Vaughn if you could see me again.
08/17 Direct Link
Study my lower desires.
See how they lead
to ruin and regrets,
and who are these
scantly tramps
on the Colorado Blvd bus.

See how my desire leads me across 16th street to the Starbucks coffee shop?

When two people turn a corner and almost crash into each other, meeting the eyes of the soul within, is called what?

Destiny?

You really need to start meditating more deeply again hombre.

There is proof in the Quran, surah 99 that every good and bad action is rewarded accordingly.

By the way, the first Kings and Queens did not originate in England.
08/18 Direct Link
In a time of uncertainty I tell myself to wait patiently for Allah to send me a wife or decide if I should take on another wife. A brother told me that a brother from Lebanon told him to shake every tree.

I thought that was funny as I understood exactly what it meant. I think metaphor is one of the beauties of language.

I sent one of my colleagues home tonight for talking back to me like he was going to do something.

Threatening me on any level is entirely unacceptable.

I bow down to no one but Allah.
08/19 Direct Link
Freemasonry should be studied and for what purpose?

To join them?

Hardly…

If you do some research, you’ll find that history is hidden in symbols and may even teach something on a deeper level.

The history hidden in these symbols on one level concerns knowledge that was stolen from the original and aboriginal people of the Earth.

On another level it is history and knowledge purposefully hidden by our ancestors to protect us for what was to come.

The invasion of a people who would plaque our culture, and planet, for many years to come.

And now?

A new beginning…
08/20 Direct Link
I sat resting against her wall crossed legged Indian style when she asked me who was the first President of the United States.

“George Washington,” I said.

“Did you know that the first President of the United States was a Black man?” she asked.

What? More hidden history?

I read her little print out which says George Washington was not the first President.

It was John Hanson, then Elias Boudinot, Thomas Mifflin, Richard Henry Lee, Nathan Gorman, Arthur St. Clair, and Cyrus Grifflin under the Articles of Confederation while George Washington was the first President under the United States Constitution.
08/21 Direct Link
It’s so amazing, how I can wake up so early to attend another training session for work, but when it comes to doing my own thing, I find it so difficult.

This shows lack of discipline and true priorities.

In doing my own thing I refer to doing things such as meditation, drawing or learning another foreign language or even cleaning and organizing this apartment I so devotionally want to clean before Ramadhan.

I find a lot of my time is spent trying to organize my apartment which is never completed on the level I want it to be completed.
08/22 Direct Link
There should be no question of what is he;
Black, Brown, White.
The answer is galactic,
cosmic,
and universal.

Sleep deprivation equals lucid states.

Quran…
Allah wants us to be
naturally high,
God conscious
and being.

Zen and the art of truly being present,
aware of every element,
crack in the cement,
breeze,
shadow…

The dream
and the dreamer
versus the dream itself,
you are the dream
in the dream,
dreaming is everywhere.
What is a dream?

Meditation
and meditative states,
embracing Yoga
and physical exercises.

After becoming a near glutton, what did you learn from the 21 day fast?
08/23 Direct Link
I received yet another shot of the child to be.
Maybe my future son if all goes well with the delivery.

I find it amazing that life can be witnessed inside of the womb of a woman and that photos can be taken.

Now technology has it to where you can get 3D images of your child if you are rich and can afford it.
Everyone wants to make a quick dollar.

Very few just want to make a soul happy or to make ones spirit uplifted.

I saw his tilted angle,
so majestic,
so conscious,
imbued by the Mystery.
08/24 Direct Link
The greatest tragedy for any baby is not being able to be supplied with the milk from its mother’s succulent breasts. What are the causes for a mother not being able to produce milk for her newborn baby? What are the side effects of manufactured milk?

My mind is all bogged and clogged with so many things now.

My thinking thought process is like a drunken wild monkey or a wild garden that needs cultivating.

A cluttered house is an extension of my mind.
I’m not in the Zen moment…

Thinking too much on the problem and not the solution.
08/25 Direct Link
When it’s time for the morning shift to relieve us in the morning from our 12 hour shift they come in shiftless like lazy bums barely moving a muscle.

When the night shift relieves the morning shift from their 12 hours they are quick to leave within minutes.

The morning shift likes to complain about small things and is like big crying babies that need a diaper to be changed.

Today the hotel had to lock all of its doors down due to protesters and the damned Democratic National Convention going on.

I’ll be happy once it is all over.
08/26 Direct Link
In surah 51 verse 56 of the Holy Quran it says “wa maa khalaqtul jinna wal insaa illa liya’ budooni,” which means in English translation “And I created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship me.”

The person speaking is Allah God himself to Muhammad. He gives the answer to mans common question such as why I am here or why are we here.

To worship also means to adore, devote, and respect.

Something that we see missing in our society towards our fellow man and woman on a day to day basis.

Society is rapidly dying.
08/27 Direct Link
Besides planets, stars, and various moons, I think the one element worth studying above all else is the woman as they seem to comprise of all these celestial elements.

Have you ever heard the saying that heaven laid at the foot of woman?

Women can be strange like a planet and beautiful like a star or even ugly like a crashing asteroid.

Why do women do the things that they do?

Today we had a genuine bomb threat. PS finds weed in plastic behind the ice machine.

I deny it.

Who in the hell leaves marijuana behind an ice machine?
08/28 Direct Link
The answer to all of my problems is pure meditation.
Be truthful with yourself.
Honesty releases suppressed
and negative energies.

No sense in seeking the mystical states of consciousness or the altered states of mind because everything you do is mystical.

Have you ever heard tried to fathom what it would be like if you were a supreme master, not just over self, but the entire universe and cosmos?
That is some real heavy science for you to digest man.

If someone grabs you from behind and tries to take your life, just use some judo for self defense tactics.
08/29 Direct Link
My mind and eyes are so powerful that I have to wear sunglasses,
less people with ordinary minds freak out.
In reference to the eyes as being the Sun,
and the Sun bows to no one,
but circles around an unknown black matter in the center.

A hawk appears as I wait for the past
when I use to draw war planes
and ancient Chinese houses for my sister.

What was that dream about some green tea spilling on the bus gushing out from the Emperor’s seat?

I remain headless growing closer to the void and Emptiness in geometric patterns.
08/30 Direct Link
An Herbal Invitation…

This is the day that I brought the green herbs home hidden inside of a flashlight wrapped in a Starbucks napkin. The smell was so potent and strong. My biggest fear was that it was possibly laced with something else that would have been detrimental to my health and well being. I still wonder if the whole thing was a trap.

We need you take an urinal analysis son.

Why am I acting a bit strange doctor?

Adyana is all engrossed in her weed plants which she tends with tender care singing her love chants to them.
08/31 Direct Link
My skin smells different.
I remember she told me that once.
"Your skin smells different."

This is just how aware women can be and subtle, to notice such things as this.

Maybe this is why they tend to be more intuitive.

Only recently or maybe I never really noticed it but I have noticed the smell of my skin as well.

It does smell different and even weird.

I ask myself how skin is supposed to smell naturally.

We add perfumes to it in the manner that we add spices to food.

When skins finally connect the cicadas sound off.