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06/01 Direct Link
Iím from the lower class. I am living from pay check to pay check and one step away from being on the streets. Iím also one step away from doing a full time jack move.

Iím from the middle class. I have a house in a nice suburb area, a car, and a bachelorís degree. Now Iím working on my masterís degree and plan to start teaching in some run down public elementary school.

Iím from the upper class. Iím filthy rich and can pretty much do whatever I want. I spend my time on vacations snorting cocaine and partying.
06/02 Direct Link
In scope of things and comparisons to the Universe
I am equivalent to a dot
on a piece of paper,
and maybe even smaller than that.

However,
size does not mean
that something is insignificant,
especially when it has potential
for many possibilities.

There is a divine science
behind the principles
of a true brotherhood,
where your brother
is not necessarily
your blood brother,
but the one who believes
as you believe,
in a higher power,
source,
and a Divine Intelligence
that created us,
and everything near,
and out of reach.

It would be worth your while to study Humanities.
06/03 Direct Link
It seems that after Noor had her medical checkup, they put the delivery date of the baby much earlier than November as we had expected. Now it seems that it will be due in September. That shaves off an entire two months.

Now there is a mystery in the air. Itís possible for a woman to conceive while on her menses.

How so?

I guess the presence of a fertile egg is not necessary, or medical science has things all mixed up.

It would not be the first time that medical science has proved to be wrong after some miracle.
06/04 Direct Link
Finally received the black and white ultrasound picture of the baby.

After everyone had seen it, no one managed to see where the baby was.

By turning the picture at a right angle, I discovered the head, nose, arms, and eyes that seemed to be looking right out at me and seemed to be in a meditative posture.

The more I looked at the picture, the more I realized that it wasnít alone, and that its best companion was Allah.

Once out of the womb,
we come into a world
with a much different agenda
than that of Divine Intelligence.
06/05 Direct Link
ChangesÖ

Everything is changing everywhere.
For the most part,
change is usually for the better.

With change comes transformation,
and with transformations
comes growth.

While on the bus going northbound I had a fleeting revelation from nature which I read like a book regarding where I stand.

Presently Iím in the desert, waiting for the summer rain. Things are a bit difficult, but the future predicts abundance and success, even more than the abundance I had been blessed to have in the past.

With that being foretold by the arrangement of some plants here and there, now I remain patient.
06/06 Direct Link
I drove with Abang and his girlfriend to the Denver International Airport.

I would drive his girlfriendís car back to his apartment and drive his car while he is out of town.

On the way to the airport I could not help but to be utterly distracted as I saw her cross dangling from her rear view mirror. I was so eager to rip that cross down and throw it out of the window.

It kept swinging back and forth
side to side
like a pendulum
some kind of curse
or determined bad omen.

Make it stop,

Make it stop.
06/07 Direct Link
After so many years of desiring a zafu, it was finally realized today. Itís filled with buckwheat that is refillable. Paying $50 was worth the price as it would soon be discovered that sitting on the zafu feels 100% more comfortable compared to sitting on anything else.

As I closed my eyes and began to meditate I felt that this meditation was the medicine that my soul has been eagerly seeking all along.

Through meditation I could see all the things I was holding on to and counting as dear. The hard part is letting it all go without heartache.
06/08 Direct Link
The best definition I found for blessing was the invocations of a divine favor or something promoting or contributing to happiness, well being and prosperity.

My added definition is that this happiness is spiritual in nature, or the direct cause of some divine intervention.

Deliberately fasting, praying and meditating will lead to a lasting happiness if your intentions for doing so is to reach the Divine.

Doing things for the cause of humanity and out of the pureness of your inner heart will lead to prosperity.

It is a sin to act other than your true self feeding off falsehood.
06/09 Direct Link
In this meditation awareness came to mind as I breathed in and breathed out.

The sound of the bird, cars passing by, the people talking outside, and the car door slamming.

At some point I had to even let awareness go as it was becoming a distraction seeming so ordinary and routine.

Delving deeper, even the focus on the mind had to be released.

These were all words with descriptions Iíve been holding on to.

Words have to be dissolved because they distort visions and truth.

Even these words confuse.

The silence and emptiness must be embraced in detached states.
06/10 Direct Link
The next lesson class will be on meditative love and you will be asked the question ďdoes the love of the mafiaís godfather have any similarities

Well itís good to know that I still have some sewing capabilities.

With no woman around I was forced to sew her pants that were torn at both knees; looks as good as new.

Lately Iíve been pondering over the similarities, if any, of the Africans of Africa and dark skinned Indians in India.

The Tribe of Shabazz was once like dark skinned Indians but rebelled against the desires of the 24 Wise Scientists.
06/11 Direct Link
Today I cooked curry chicken from scratch and realized that I should have added more curry and tomatoes.

I used the last bit of tamarind and was promised a shipment of it from Singapura along with some star anise.

My fingers are crossed.

I read some brief histories this evening about spies and was really surprised at how intrusive someone could get into your life.

If your life is deemed insignificant, then you have nothing to worry about. However, if you are deemed to be a radical, a revolutionary, or someone who can stir the masses; then watch your back.
06/12 Direct Link
I took my little evening walk to purchase some anti spyware and not because of what I read yesterday, but because my laptop has been so damn slow.

It turns out that all kinds of adware and spyware crap was sucking the life out of my laptop.

From my evening studies, it seems that the history and encounters of extraterrestrials and unidentified flying objects predate time and have had contact with Earth since ancient times.

Iím amused at the fact that while the Government watches us, they watch the Governments and the biggest spy of all is God.

Al Baseer.
06/13 Direct Link
Pasado dos en la maŮana fumť una yerba pequeŮo.

And what did I do afterwards?

MeditatedÖ

I saw every aspect of myself just falling away.

My arms,
my legs,
my name,
and names people know me by
and donít know me by.

All my possessed self importance trapped in my ego like a genie in a tight bottle.

Iím nothing,
not even this emptiness,
or this breath,
or the sulking depression
I have been feeling
about my failures
and unsuccessful ventures.

One grain of herb is not enough.

I need a pinch full,
with a hot cup of peppermint tea.
06/14 Direct Link
Much more content that I was a few days ago.

I took a brief nap after working the night shift and made my journey via bus and train to the art supply store to purchase a few sketch pads Iíve wanted to get and drawing pencils.

For the most part during my youthful days Iíve always thought that the only pencil that existed was the old yellow number 2 pencil.

Turns out there is all kinds of grades;
HB, 2H, 3B and et cetera,
each with its own shade or tone.

In the field of art lies an explorative world.
06/15 Direct Link
In the Happening the story begins with the Science teacher asking his students what could be the cause of countless bees disappearing without leaving a trace, not even a single body.

Sounds like the Mayans, who seemed to vanish just as they appeared.

The movie is worth watching because further into the movie it really makes you think about the place you are living called Earth.

I thought about how in the past before the barbarians destroyed civilized civilizations, the ancient people held councils in circles regarding pressing issues such as preservation, life, wisdom, Earth and our relations beyond here.
06/16 Direct Link
Maybe the high prices of gas will turn out to be a good thing, as it forces people to find other resources and alternatives; such as hydrogen and solar power which is far less detrimental to our environment and ozone layer.

The high prices of gas is causing an imbalance in the economic ecosystem if there ever was such a thing.

Food is going up, electricity in homes is going up, and who benefits from this?

Amerikkka is falling with floods, tornadoes, decline of the dollar, war, droughts.

God is kicking ass and no one seems to be really listening.
06/17 Direct Link
I was imbued by the glow
and grandeur
of the mystic beige
yellowish orange moon
as it hung lowly
within reach
it seemed,
beyond
the high rise buildings.

Death is awaiting
around every corner
and behind
every door.

With this knowledge it is almost fruitless to pursue the so called material goods of this world while more pressing issues go unanswered.

Pressing issues such as
who am I,
why am I here,

the fate of Earth and how would the destruction of Earth effect the other planets in our solar system and the Universe as a whole,

time and consciousness?
06/18 Direct Link
Itís okay to be that child you once loved and wondered whatever happened to it.

You donít have to live the myth that once youíve reached a certain age that magic and happiness must come to an abrupt stop and every single thing has to be taken seriously with a dogmatic brain washed societal seriousness.

You donít have to give up the dreams that you had either as a child no matter how farfetched they may have seemed.

So pull out and purchase those kaleidoscopes, jacks, spinning tops, gigantic beach balls and studying the curiosity of ants, spiders, and butterflies.
06/19 Direct Link
I bought some Santa Cruz lemonade and couldnít believe my daughter was taking me seriously when I said the lemonade was for me only and my health.

This comment was based off of the comment she told me that her mother made.

I bought some lemonade a week ago which was on sale and decided I would give one away to her mother. I specifically told her that it was to be shared.

Azima told me that she never got one drop of lemonade and was told that it was not for her but for her motherís health.

So selfishÖ
06/20 Direct Link
Looks like I will be able to make Fajr this time around without oversleeping.

Azima stayed up past midnight and the neighbors next door to me have not been anything near impressive. Got damn immoral pig faced bastards.

Pounding the floors so loudly and the crazy bitch next door, who in the hell was she.

They were so loud and rowdy that they scared my daughter. I had to tell her not to worry and I honestly understand why we are taught not to carry guns. If it were up to me I would have shot all those mother fuckers.
06/21 Direct Link
I can see why a group of people would worship something so beautiful, life giving, and awe inspiring such as the Sun, but I wonder if they ever wondered who created such beauty and that the Sun did not create itself.

The fastest thing on Earth is Earth travelling at 1,037 and 1/3 miles per hour, we are on an organic spaceship and we donít feel it moving.

Here in downtown everyone is seeking love and a good time but by whose standards?

When the night ends will they be fulfilled or left empty on the streets with no name?
06/22 Direct Link
Ever since I read about a man who studied for years getting only 2 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period and knowing that Allah God does not sleep; sleep has boggled my mind ever since.

The so called medical experts and scientists say that we need 8 hours of sleep to be healthy.

I came across an article that contradicts the statement and says that 4 to 6 hours is sufficient and that sleeping in intervals of 2 hours each is just as sufficient.

I also came across Yoga Nidra which is like deep sleep while being awake.
06/23 Direct Link
I donít have any furniture, but an ideal came to my mind to start making pillows which would require that I get a sewing machine if I expected to sew the patterns in a fast and timely matter versus sewing with thread and a needle.

I know that there is the stereotype out there, that a man that sews is a sissy or a fagot in layman terms.

What about a tailor?

Well I guess sometimes maybe, but not in Italy.

I would love to know how to make my own suit from scratch.

It is a skill in itself.
06/24 Direct Link
Well this is it, my last day to eat so I say for a long time for the purpose of fasting and spiritual rejuvenation, and possibly some miracle, because I really do need one.

I have already ate some strawberries, grapes, grapefruit and plan to eat some papaya a little later.

I cooked some fresh dhal and rice and relaxing a bit before I eat my last morsels of food.

Later on I am laying down and I look up at the ceiling and see a spider as a good sign for the fast to come which I consider sacred.
06/25 Direct Link
The mystical states of fasting comes about more easily and I tend to feel more calmer.
I see the thunder and lightning as a sign of the beginning of the fast.

I truly enjoy fasting and its effects because I come more in touch with my senses and inner truths. My body still feels painful and sore. I feel as though I need to lift weights and perform forceful exercises.

There will never be lasting peace within or without as long as there are wants and desires, be it love, sex, food, relationships, children or even enlightenment and self realization.
06/26 Direct Link
I am just now getting up and feeling quite weak. I drank some of the formula for my fast and felt slightly better. I think I am not drinking enough water because this morning my urine was yellow in color so today I plan to drink 64 ounces, the so called daily recommendation we should have in our bodies. My brief research has shown that hydration of the body is important to alleviate dehydration as well as being tired and fatigued. Being hydrated in the body could not be more important than when fasting.

We are more ocean than land.
06/27 Direct Link
Good news to hear this morning that the baby would be a boy. If it were a girl I would have still been happy. What father does not hope for a boy?

I had a dispute this morning when I dropped off my daughter over the hijab she was wearing and my ex wife thoughts on Islam versus mine whereas I feel I have evolved more universally, and think she is still in some baby stages.

We disputed later in the night over custody issues as well.

After so many years of not seeing her now you want joint custody?
06/28 Direct Link
Excuses are what we make to get out of something and to justify getting out of various situations to protect ourselves and make ourselves immune from facing the facts, allowing ourselves to give up.

We can set a simple goal such as cleaning the bathroom, and then later we will give ourselves a reason which is equivalent to an excuse to put it off for another day which leads to procrastination and laziness.

Some excuses in life may be genuine, but the truth of life is that there is no excuse when it comes to setting out to do something.
06/29 Direct Link
I am coming into the light of the senses such as smell and realizing the subtle things that lead to temptations.

Entering the matrix of understanding is about reaching oneness,
rising above materialism,
and illusions;
thus enabling oneself
to realize truth.

Where are you from?

Where Iím from is beyond the stars.
Where Iím from,
and what I am
is beyond land mass,
atmosphere
and
solar
systems.

Now these hallways before me stretch long and wide and they are becoming mystical like me.

I may not realize it now,
but I do believe a transformations
is taking place within me.
06/30 Direct Link
I was cooking dhal, rice, and easy over eggs for my daughter,
feeling so tempted to break my fast of many days.

I notice that I enjoy cooking even when I am fasting
as I appreciate the sense of smell for food.

Iím pleased when I know that I have fulfilled another person, especially when itís food I have cooked and given selflessly.

Light some incense to dispel the smell of food,
not because it smells awful but to keep me focused on the spirit and the fast versus food.

What do I need to become a cook or chef?