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11/01 Direct Link
It seems rather futile or even pointless to seek inner divine light or enlightment in a world that demands of us, our energy, time, money and work.

This is the main reason why we need enlightment, more than anything in the world, if we are supposed to be masters of our destiny.

Many people doubt that finding enlightment or the divine spark within their beings will make a change in their lives.

This is the sad presumption of taking our doubts for certainty and casting faith, possessing necessary tools and worthwhile treasures into the waste bin.

Give enlightment a chance.
11/02 Direct Link
Maybe it is better to work, even when we are feeling really depressed,
or if someone died in our family.

Itís probably better to work than sit in some dark corner of some room moping, and contemplating suicide.

That is not what I did,
but there are times I contemplated suicide.

Out of all the known ways that people have committed suicide,
I just couldnít see myself doing any of them,
so suicide always loses in my final rulings and decisions.

Today is supposed to be The Day of the Dead,
as though they have something they can celebrate about.
11/03 Direct Link
While on my break, I was happy to discover that I had access to free internet.

I figured that if the guest could get free internet access, why couldnít I.

I was in Guest Room 3D4, probably a room I had no business in.
I wasnít committing a crime.

Time goes back one hour at 02:00 again, and by whose authority?

Once I think about it, I laugh.

How can you move time back or move it forward unless you are God himself?

In other countries there isnít daylight savings.

Is time in danger, that it needs to be saved?
11/04 Direct Link
I really need to get my own apartment soon. It has been six months that I have been living in a room which I share with two little boys, my brother in the Faithís two sons.

Itís not so bad because I donít have much, but I demand privacy and privacy is something I donít have enough of.

I hate moving with a passion.

Setting up new phone lines,
getting gas and electricity turned on,
adjusting to the neighborhood,
and the neighbors,
finding new bus routes,
packing and unpacking
and the list goes on.

One day maybe Iíll settle down.
11/05 Direct Link
A staff member from the morning shift was late this morning, so I decided to stay over.

I didnít realize that so many Muslimahís worked the morning shift.
I saw one Muslimah sister who was beautiful, who I could only assume was from Egypt or Tripoli.

Maybe I should move to the morning shift.

Not at this job,
I just couldnít do it.

There is too many managers working this shift
who expect you to be scared of them,
too many politics
and games,
and too many people
for me to have to put up with.

Nightshift is just fine.
11/06 Direct Link
I enjoyed watching A Fistful of Dollars, La Petite Jerusalem, and Paradise Now past midnight.

My plans to make spaghetti went down the drain,
since I arrived home so late
and it was colder than a submerged iceberg
in the North Pole.

I definitely would not have had the desire to cut garlic in the middle of the night and boil angel hair.

And speaking of hair,
I learned that dreadlocks were here before the Rastafarians,
and were worn and adorned by the Maori warriors,
sadhus,
the Kikuyu,
Bahatowie priests,
and Japans Rasta Buddhists.

There is nothing dreadful about dreads.
11/07 Direct Link
Iím really low on funds,
so I enjoy myself to two sunflower butter
and organic blackberry jam sandwiches,
on wheat bread
that has begun to turn green in some parts.

Hungry people are not too choosey,
besides,
mold is where LSD comes from.
Nothing bizarre to me.

Sunflower butter is substitute for peanut butter and tastes just the same.

I count myself among the enlightened after being ignorant for so long regarding nicotine and tobacco, not realizing that nicotine is an integral part of tobacco.

I always thought it was an outside ingredient.

There is organic chemical free tobacco available.
11/08 Direct Link
All my relations as the proverb goes, but itís not just a proverb or some ancient saying.

All my relations are not just people.

Ever ask yourself, at what point does your relatives become your ancestors?

Is it at the point where no record can be found of them, just oral traditions of how things were with so and so?

All my relations include all that the mighty Creator created.

So this would include
animals,
insects,
stars,
planets,
elements of nature,
and plants.

We are not separate from this in the manner that western science isolates us and classifies us.
11/09 Direct Link
Holy man,
sacred herbs
and a warrior too.

We will make all of this sacred again, he said.

Adorned in prayers
with a sweet scent,
smoke filled tobacco
rising into the realms.

This is pure tobacco that does not cause cancer if you donít abuse it he said.

Take what you need,
live off the land
and not exploitation of the people.

You have heard these teachings,
now take them with you,
everywhere you go.

With that being said,
the deer,
and the wolf
stood up
and walked away.

The hawk spread her wings and flew,
the spider trampled on.
11/10 Direct Link
What a wonderful display of fireworks and firecrackers, and itís not even the 4th of July or New Years.

Is it for the veterans?

I could not help but to think of war and some video clippings I saw of a war in Iraq and three to four marines hiding under a house whimpering like frightened dogs.

What is it about war that fascinates man?

It seems that man has fought with man for as long as history can be remembered.

Man fights with man, but how many fight with themselves?

The spectacle continues with everyone in the crowd awed.
11/11 Direct Link
A backpack full of Islamic Fundamentalism,
a bus load full of devils,
an angel who would,
a visionary in deep meditation,
real psychics on the realm.

Growth of the soul,
sesame seed oil for the body,
like the Queen used to do.

He pruned his distractions so that the bonsai may live.

New recitations said
prayers remembered,
What kind of believer am I?

Nearness to the Supreme,
is nearness to the Light,
and once you are there,
direct humanity,
so that Earth may shine,
even to one million other galaxies. One thousand Suns,
one million butterflies,
expanding this divine consciousness.
11/12 Direct Link
When was the first war in America?

Was it the Civil War?

More than likely, the first war that ever occurred went unrecorded.

Men killing men over a land territory dispute,
or maybe it was over a piece of meat
or rights over certain hunting grounds,
or maybe it was over a woman,
or an eagle feather.

The fact of the matter is that it went unrecorded by the hands of men.

Maybe the story was told through oral traditions from one generation to the next,
that is until the British came,
who later became Americans,
spreading whiskey,
and diseases.
11/13 Direct Link
A path between the leaves,
silenceÖ
a heart bearing torture,
a story said to end
a story turning over
beginning its end
illusions of romance,
a chapter that is missing,
a continued journey,
a journey that never ends,
the inner journey within.

Process a visa,
where the process in one country
is different in another.

Process, like some food going through a machine.

Can you with stand being scrutinized,
interrogated and waiting
the fate and decision
by some man named Wilbur
with a big penetrating nose,
shaped like a birds beak,
with beady eyes
and big ears,
hearing everything spoken?
11/14 Direct Link
A prayer done with tobacco puffing in all the four directions.
North
South
East
WestÖ.

Only puffs were to be made without inhaling.

It was all too late when the rush came,
numbing the senses
while bringing a heightened sense of awareness at the same time.

The winds blew strongly in a western direction.

The 11 nor did the 12 bus come.

Who wanted to wait in such intense cold and wind?

Stars shined in the night sky eager to receive the prayers.

The universe opened her womb wide
to allow the seeds of thought
to plant themselves,
producing eventually.
11/15 Direct Link
Itís cold as hell is the symbology,
despite hell being said to be extremely hot;
hotter than the Sun.

But death is cold.
Cold when you die
and all the warmth
leaves your body,
no longer soaking in the rays of the Sun.

Cold like deep space,
well carved
and shapely bones
making its entrance
to a decaying form
etched in time
until time is no longer remembered
and no one knows your name anymore.

Cold like the ice that freezes over
whose hands smoothen out your face,
bringing chills of desire
for that fire
that has vanquished forever more.
11/16 Direct Link
ďYou have a message from your wife, that is a lecture from her professor,Ē said the operator. ďDo you want to hear it? Itís talking about you. Itís meant to make you feel more miserable than you already feel."

Put her on hold, and put the lecture in the shredder then recycle it.

Is it really true that sometimes the bad brings out the good?

A F in Malay
and in Math.

F meaning fantastic.

If it means failure,
itís not her fault,
that she got an F in math
with no one to tutor her
in a loving way.
11/17 Direct Link
Right when I got the proper dose of inspiration to really get into the novel I was writing, it was time to go to work.

My real work was writing the novel,
my other work was for a check based on the hour but not based on my talents and what I can really do.

Lately, Iím getting very little rest, and lacking the proper vitamins and nutrients that I need for my body.

For the guys who work in the audio visual department, their real aspirations are
to become producers
and directors of movies
screen writers
and good actors.
11/18 Direct Link
I find myself in Illegal Peteís again ordering a chicken burrito.

Illegal Peteís serves all Mexican food and a bar in another section of the restaurant.

The staff are all white with a few Mexican workers in the back.

If it were not for them the food would probably not taste Mexican.

I decide to eat at this place for the first time and I realize that only the furniture has a Mexican feel to it,
but the rock n roll music throws everything off,
and the gringos who work there are nothing close to Mexican and canít speak Spanish.
11/19 Direct Link
Day shift has a bad habit of always coming late all the time.

Five minutes,
10 minutes,
sometimes 30
and sometimes more than one hour.

When they come late,
someone from the night shift has to stay over,
until they get to the job.

This is fine in one way for the overtime, but after working night shift everyone is ready to go home.

Pick a number from one to twenty.

This is what we find ourselves doing;
picking some number like itís a lottery game.

Whoever comes closest to the number chosen by the supervisor has to stay over.
11/20 Direct Link
My heart stands strong,
like these fine hi rise buildings,
but if you have a luminous psychic sense,
you know the buildings are bound to crumble,
then form a sea,
then an ocean of hope
for her love
of which I reach out for,
hoping to feel the softness
or the essence of my dreams,
tender like the songs
played on a Spanish guitar.

Deep in the jungles somewhere
lived a beautiful people
who were deemed to be savages,
despite the fact that,
the savages welcomed them
with love,
and trusted them.

Later they were killed,
who is the savage?
11/21 Direct Link
She rung the buzzard past midnight. I saw her below and asked if she needed help.

She wanted 101; Iím sorry but this is 301. Do you have the right building?

Minutes later she was knocking on the door asking for some neighbor that I donít know.

She left and came back a second time.

Who is it?

PattiÖ

Who?

PattiÖ.

This time I open the door and find myself staring into the eyes of death, with crooked teeth.

It was enough to strike deep fear into my heart and cause me to burn sage and pray for divine protection.
11/22 Direct Link
Spaghetti in the morningÖ.
Who eats spaghetti in the morning?

I did,Ö
and watched some cartoon called Shinobi,
which put me in a deep sleep.

I donít know if it was the cartoon
or the spaghetti
or both.

Spaghetti in the evening.
Didnít you get enough in the morning?

This time, Iím reading about so called grants that the Government gives away for free because they have to and itís the law.

I feel something tugging on my leg, and when I look down its Tattoo from Fantasy Island.

Somewhere outside, I hear Mr. Roarke laughing his evil hypnotic laugh.
11/23 Direct Link
I went to the check cashing place to make money orders which will go towards the rent for my new apartment.

I remember the lady who works here from years ago.

She looks like Cyndi Lauper and has a red colored pitbull who also comes to the window as well,
and Iím not sure who is working here; the pitbull dog or the lady.

Went to check my P.O. Box and there is some big box waiting for me.

I think they are encyclopedias,
which are heavier than a ton of bricks.

Not sure if I should return to sender.
11/24 Direct Link
Una luna llenaÖ..

Your rent will be due on the first of each month. If you want cats your rent will cost $100 extra for each cat.

How about birds?

We donít care about birds,
fish,
lizards,
snakes,
or hamsters.
You can keep them for free.

If I pay rent today can I move in early?

If you want to pay for each day that you moved in early.

No thatís okay.

Who wants to pay $100 extra for a cat to stay in their apartment?

The cat canít go out to find a job to help support the family.
11/25 Direct Link
It dawned on me, that the mathematics of this so called modern world is nothing in comparison to the mathematics involved with the creation of our universe and our very existence.
Todayís mathematics are even primitive to the ancient world;
scientists still donít know how to build a pyramid
like the ones in Egypt,
Mexico City,
and South America.

I have a mathematical problem for mathematicians to solve.

Solve the problem of love,
and why the world lacks it.

If youíre going to be a mathematician,
do the math on the things that really mean something;
or makes a difference.
11/26 Direct Link
Wolf,Ö
a moon thatís past being full,
initiation into leadership,
and my salary?

My first night
like a night
many moons back
in time,
this time the tables turned.

Once he was my supervisor,
and now Iím his.

He wants to test me
and my words of power,
words of instruction.

He wants to see if I will write him up for insubordination.

He wants to see if I will stand him up against a brick wall and give orders to the firing squad.

He wants to see if I will put his head on the guillotine.

I want to.
11/27 Direct Link
Our only coffee brewing now is Urdoba.

ďSounds like a country,Ē I said.

ĒIt is,Ē said the geeks smirking in their Starbucks uniforms.

I donít believe them completely. Iím forced to find out for myself.

The guy who works building services is an ex Central Intelligence agent.

What is he doing here?

Eyeing everyone behind his spook glasses, while blending well with every background and rarely speaks.

ĒIím with homeland security,Ē he thinks, as I read his thoughts.

Heís just another citizen who was turned into a spy,
a snitch to report everyoneís freedoms
and liberties that were ever guaranteed.
11/28 Direct Link
A shooting star,
but stars donít shoot.

That is what my astronomy teacher told me.

What you saw was not a UFO, but the reflection of the sun off of the metal parts of some satellites.

How many satellites do we have out there teacher?

ĒThousands,Ē he would say.
ĒBut not as many asteroids in the asteroid belt. Meteorites can look like a shooting star,Ē he said.

In different directions?Ē I asked, ďmaking zig zag motions across the sky? Explain thatÖ what satellite or meteorite zig zags across the sky teacher?Ē

Lets stick with the lessons class,Öwhere is Jupiter?
11/29 Direct Link
From Freemasonry,
to pimps,
and back to political science all over again.

What does this have to do with philosophy?

In order to free my being and my mind I must learn how to detach my many tentacles that have been clinging to this world,
its ideals,
concepts
and so on.

Its like the octopus who is entangled with the ship that he holds on to desperately thinking that this ship will fulfill all of its desires but it will not.

To free himself he must detach.

Detach from possessions,
expectations,
wants,
and dreams,
and see how freer
youíll become.
11/30 Direct Link
From cigarillo to his first cigar; he felt like a real man.

He began to understand the concept of heaven and earth, and how there must be a balance in between.

Rest assured that this is not an addiction, but a celebration.

Celebration of 50,000 words,
a leader position
with the real wolf pack
that roams the remaining
sacred woods and forests.

Celebration of finding a new place,
a new home,
a place of abounding peace.

Celebration of having a brother who helped me along the way,
while I took the chance to come back to a place I dreaded.