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Jessi enters. Amanda and Zoey are already inside the kitchen, preparing dinner. Amanda sees Jessi and embraces her.
“Darling, how are you doing?”
Jessi smiles, embarrassed. “I’m… okay. How are you?”
Amanda - “I’m great. Did you know New Years Eve is my favorite holiday?”
Jessi - “No, I did not.”
Amanda – “Well, now you do.”
Jessi eyes the preparation of food. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Amanda – “Actually, I just have the green bean casserole to finish. But no green beans. Green bean casserole without green beans is just not green bean casserole.”
Jessi – “I’ll find them.”
Nerd night at the bar. Chris is excited. Moe is excited because he thinks he is running the bar by himself and can claim himself as the owner. Or he is excited because he advertised a different theme night. Perhaps he scheduled the theme night on the wrong night. Either way, Moe ends up sorely disappointed when Chris’s nerd night happens in full swing. Moe insults some of the nerdy girls (who are actually hot) on accident when he makes fun of the nerd gathering to them. Chris is making fast friends and getting digits from all the hot nerds.
INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Max reads and jams to music in a messy office. He’s oblivious to Autumn leaning on the doorframe.
Autumn – How does your father think in here?
Max – Hey! It’s you!
Autumn – It’s me.
Max – He’s cluttered but well published. Hopefully, like father like son.
Amidst the clutter, Autumn sees a goofy picture of Max and his father with laurel wreaths on their heads. Max picks it up.
Max – And well respected.
Autumn – I’m sure he is.
Max – You’re not being sarcastic.
Autumn – No. I’m impressed.
Max – You better be.
Max leads her out, music still blaring.
EXT. POOL – DAY
Jimmy walks into the crowded neighborhood pool with his children. He glares at Dominic chatting up a lifeguard.
EXT. POOL – LATER
Jimmy continues to glare.
Jimmy – You can do better than him.
Jessi – I’ve been picky in the past. It hasn’t worked out for me.
Jimmy – How’s that?
Jessi – I ended up single. I never dated anyone. I have absolutely no experience. So, when I find the one, I won’t know what to do.
Jimmy – It only takes the one.
Jessi – This is coming from experience?
Jessi – I’m sorry. That was cruel.
Jimmy – (hurt) It’s fine.
Maximus should be called Telemachus. He can still go by Max. His father is a distinguished classics professor, who shares a strong bond with his son. Max has a much younger sister and a mother as well. His relationship with his father is a foil to Autumn's relationship with hers.
Autumn is an only child. Her mother is either missing, dead, or estranged. Her father lacks faith in her due to his own failures with the mind-reading power they share. He believes his power caused his wife's disappearance. He believes Autumn should shun her power and live a normal life.
EXT. JESSI’S HOUSE – DAY Jessi opens her front door to see Jimmy piling wood near their walkway. Snow covers the neighborhood.
Jimmy – Zoey saw my pile and has been nagging me for some. I wouldn’t trust her around fire by herself so you should probably help her start it. I didn’t think you’d be awake.
Jessi – I’m not usually up this early on Saturdays.
Jimmy – You could just call me inconsiderate.
Jessi – Why?
Jimmy – For waking you up. You’re being ridiculous. You don’t have to be nice to me and feel pity. I’m a grown man. I can take rejection.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
Moe is behind the bar when a hot girl, Renee, walks up.
Moe – Tons of losers here tonight, huh?
Renee – Excuse me?
Moe – Huge dorks. I mean most of these guys are just happy to see girls. They probably don’t know how to use the internet for porn because they’re looking up their Wookiee Cylon girlfriends from planet Mahoogadoo -
A guy in a Star Wars T-shirt walks up to Renee and kisses her hello sweetly. She continues kissing him harder.
Moe – ...aderadaydayfalay…
Renee – Can I get a pitcher?
Moe – Sure, yeah.
Moe fills up a pitcher.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
Dee – So, who’s going to run the bar?
Mac – Me.
Charlie – What, no.
Mac – Called it.
Charlie – What?! No.
Mac – Yes.
Charlie – No.
Mac – The bartender has to be cute.
Charlie – I’m cute. Dee?
Dee – Sorta.
Mac – No. Hey! You can run everything else. Except the money, the beer, and the hot girls.
Charlie – That’s nothing.
Mac – You’ll have Charlie duties. The duties you always do.
Charlie – No. You know what? You do beer, money, hot girls. I’ll do my own thing.
Mac – Charlie duties.
Charlie – Charlie duties. Know what? Charlie duties are getting a new name.
EXT. MI MI’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Autumn – She’s out there, somewhere. It’s as if I have a glimpse of her and, then, she’s gone. She knows how to hide.
Raleigh – Do you think they’re…
Autumn – Dead?
Raleigh – Yes, dead. I haven’t wanted to say it. I didn’t want to say it out loud because I thought it would make it true. That I had given up the possibility or the fantasy that they could still be out there.
Autumn – I know I’m not the best person to be telling you this, but there’s still hope. And it’s not a fantasy.
Jessi and Jimmy sit by the kid’s pool, watching his kids play.
JIMMY – How are you doing?
JESSI – I don’t know.
JESSI – I’m sorry. I know this must seem insignificant to you. It wasn’t a marriage.
JIMMY – Was it significant to you?
JESSI – I think it was.
JIMMY – If it was significant, you would know it. You wouldn’t be wrestling with it. You would feel awful. And do you?
JESSI – I do. I’ve cried.
JIMMY – About what?
JESSI – That’s flippant.
JIMMY – Did you cry for him? Or did you cry because you’re single again and you don’t know to do?
JIMMY – Listen. I can’t take this anymore. You pick the worst men. And I’m not saying that I am the one for you but if you would just consider it for two seconds, you would see that there’s something there.
JESSI – I thought you were my friend.
JIMMY – I am. I always will be.
Jessi curls into a ball on her couch and sobs. She hugs her pillow to her stomach.
Jimmy opens the card.
“I know we haven’t spoken over the last several months but I saw this and wanted to let you know that I care about you.”
Raleigh is musically inclined. At the beginning we see her playing her daughter music on a piano or harp or sitar without touching the keys or the strings. Her power of energy goes through the strings.
When her husband is missing, Raleigh rages on the piano in a dark classical piece.
If Villa plays an instrument, it is definitely a two-handled guitar. She grows more fingers to play it. Villa is a bit like Mason on Dead Like Me – a bit of a bum. She is confident and incredibly loyal to her friends.
Autumn composes brilliantly. May does not sing.
Jimmy moves across the street from Jessi and Zoey. He is a very young divorce – 26. He has two children, Andy and Mary. Andy is outgoing, sweet. Mary is shy and cranky. Jimmy was married to Suzanne at the age of 20. Andy is four and Mary is two. Suzanne left right after Mary was born, scared of her overly structured life. Jimmy has moved back to where his family lives, including an overbearing sister. He quickly falls for Jessi. He is mostly successful at whatever he does but always puts his family before his job. He is incredibly likeable.
Zoey is loud, honest, and loyal. She is Jessi’s best friend and cousin. She teaches kindergarten but is unsure about whether she wants children of her own. Jimmy is unattractive to her because of his maturity and state as a father. She is much more experienced in the bedroom department than Jessi. She shares a duplex with her cousin that her mother owns. She never cries but can often be heard if someone crosses her or a friend of hers. She has a propensity to curse but is very good about keeping her mouth clean in the presence of children.
DELIA – You’re my boyfriend.
DON – I knew this day would come. Delia, I’m your brother.
DELIA – Shut up. Gross. No, you have to be my fake boyfriend. Creepy J-Man keeps eyeing me.
DON – So what? It’s not my problem.
SUZIE, a hot risk taker, walks over to Don. She squeezes his bicep.
SUZIE – Hey, sexy. You can’t be in GA. Do you work here?
DON – No, I don’t. I’m here to support my sis –
DELIA – Girlfriend.
SUZIE – That’s too bad. I’ll be here all night. With a very comfy sleeping bag.
DON – I’m giving Creepy J-Man your number.
Suzie gambles with money, love, and her life quite frequently. After she steals a convent’s van on a bet, she is strongly advised to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings as the nuns will not press actual charges against her. She wants Don because she shouldn’t sleep with a fellow GA member, especially one with a girlfriend.
Don wants her because he finds her wild and sexy. He tries to nail her during the GA retreat in the children’s section of the library. Instead, she sleeps with a man with a venereal disease just to see if she’ll get it. She does.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
Gregory chugs beer after beer. He vomits all over the bar.
MOE – Woah, woah! Cool it! Chad, get this guy out of here.
Chad is making out with Leslie and Gina. He holds his finger up to Moe.
Gregory climbs over the bar and wraps his arms around Moe.
GREGORY – You are my hero.
MOE – Ok, sure.
Moe stuffs Gregory’s money into his pockets.
INT. BAR – MORNING
Moe wakes up with Gregory curled next to him.
INT. BEDROOM – MORNING
Chad wakes up in bed with two women.. They are in a girl’s bedroom. A knock is heard.
EXT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Delia is on the phone with Moe.
DELIA – You can’t kick them out. They’re paying customers. No, you can’t quit.
Creepy J-Man droops gummi worms on her shoulder.
CREEPY J-MAN – You’re the snake queen. Your children worship you.
DELIA – Oh, gross! What the hell?! Moe, dammit! Do your job.
She hangs up, wipes them off, and stomps on them.
DELIA – Now my snake babies are dead, freak-o.
Creepy J-Man screams and weeps.
CREEPY J-MAN – They were embryos.
DELIA – Then I’m aborting all the snake princes and princesses.
Creepy J-Man crawls on the ground, trying to save them.
Don wakes up curled up next to Delia, his hand up her shirt. As he moves it away in disgust, Delia wakes up. They are both completely grossed out and refuse to speak to each other.
The nerd who Moe got drunk is killed when he tries to go home and walks into traffic. The nerds revenge their friend’s death with Chad as their leader.
Moe is a bloody mess when Don and Delia and Fred come back form the GA retreat. They all ignore him as he whimpers on the floor.
Chad happily awakes in the girls’ apartment, naked.
Jessi stands in the cupboard, searching for the green beans. Jimmy enters the kitchen.
JIMMY – (to Amanda) What’s she looking for?
AMANDA – Green beans.
Jimmy walks behind Jessi.
JESSI – I can’t find them anywhere!
Jessi turns smack into Jimmy.
JESSI – Oh, hi.
JIMMY – Hey.
JESSI – I was invited.
JIMMY – I did the inviting. They’re somewhere over here.
Jimmy helps Jessi look. Zoey discreetly pushes the door closed with her foot. Jimmy turns quickly as he sees the door shutting.
JIMMY – Wait, no!
The door slams shut. Jimmy struggles to open it.
JESSI – Who would need to lock their kitchen cupboard?
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Max is spread out on his bed, plucking rose petals off of their stems and tossing them onto his bed. The phone rings. He lets it ring a few times before he picks it up. The caller ID reads “UNAVAILABLE”.
MAX – Hello?
AUTUMN – I’m sorry.
MAX – Chickened out?
AUTUMN – No.
MAX – Hey, you can just tell me no this time. I’ll listen and stop bugging you. Or at least I won’t bug you as much as I have been. I’ll be delightfully awkward around you.
AUTUMN – Do you have lunch plans?
MAX – I’m grading papers, so no.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
Charlie and the rest of the nerd squad are rocking out to They Might Be Giants. Charlie is the life of the party. Mac is eating a lime behind the bar and spitting out the seeds. He’s attempting to talk up a girl.
MAC – I used to watch Transformers all the time. Power Rangers, too.
GIRL – Power Rangers? How old were you?
MAC – Seven.
GIRL – How old are you?
MAC – Seventeen. I was seventeen. Listen, I guess I’m just in touch with my inner child. You know?
Mac spits a seed onto the back of Charlie’s neck.
Mary and Marie wait at the bus stop with their brother, Jesus, and their new neighbors – Ahmed and Patima.
PATEL – Hello. My name is Patel.
MARY – He speaks English.
PATIMA – Of course he speaks English.
MARIE – Shh… don’t talk to him.
MARY – I’m talking to you.
MARIE – Don’t talk around them.
PATEL – This is my sister, Patima. We recently moved here from India. My father is looking to purchase a computer and we have not been able to find such a store in town.
JESUS – There’s a megastore off Highway Six next to the Bennigan’s.
MARY AND MARIE – Shush, Jesus!
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Don and Delia argue like a deranged married couple.
DELIA – When you think people aren’t looking, you pick your nose. It’s like you’re digging for the brains you don’t have.
DON – Really, Dee? Going for the easy one?
DELIA – I thought you would understand it better.
DON - Yeah, well, you have the worst morning breath. It’s like a dog vomited in your mouth.
DELIA – You masturbate to Cyndi Lauper songs.
DON – You make donkey noises when you come.
DELIA – How do you know that?
DON – Darren Butler in mom’s basement when you thought nobody was home.
EXT. BUS STOP – DAY
The two families wait for the bus. Patima stares at Mary and Marie’s hands.
PATIMA – I like your rings. Where did you get them?
MARY – At our church ball.
MARIE – We promised Daddy we would never ever give it up to anyone and that he would protect it until holy marymoney.
PATIMA – Give what up?
MARY – The ring, silly.
JESUS – Their virginity. Those are chastity rings.
MARIE – Jesus, don’t make up words.
PATEL – Our father won’t let her out of the house without her head covered.
MARIE – But you’re dressed like a slut.
PATIMA – You’re sweet.
INT. JESSI’S LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Zoey enters – a burst of energy, carrying groceries. Jessi sits in a ball on the couch reading a book. She doesn’t look up.
JESSI – I already ate.
ZOEY – What?
JESSI – Left over mac and cheese and a ham sandwich.
ZOEY – For dinner? Oh, hey, did you meet our new neighbors?
JESSI – No, I was running late for work when they were moving in.
ZOEY – Sooooo hot, but has kids. You should meet him.
JESSI – I’m fine, thank you.
ZOEY – Where’s Dominic tonight?
JESSI – (nonchalantly) I don’t know.
ZOEY – And how long have you been dating?
EXT. HOUSE – DAY
JIMMY, a twenty-seven year old male, handsome, tall, and a bit broad-shouldered, is unloading a moving truck. He has a loud family helping him – an older sister, AMANDA, directing traffic and two older brothers unloading. His children, ANDY, age five, and MAGGIE, age three, run around their new lawn playing with their golden retriever.
INT. DUPLEX – DAY
Across the street, an alarm clock goes off. Jessi stumbles out of bed as she realizes she’s hit the snooze for the last time. Dominic, her boyfriend, lies in the bed.
DOMINIC – A quickie before work, baby?
JESSI – Running late.
EXT. STREET – MORNING
Jimmy unloads a box from the moving truck. A door slamming is HEARD. He turns around and gazes across the street.
Jessi stumbles in a hurry to her car. She attempts to put her hair up and open her car door at the same time. She finally opens the door but sets her purse on the pavement as she climbs in. She shuts the door, starts up the car, and backs up.
Jimmy runs into the street and flags her down. Her brakes screech as she halts. She opens the car door and peers out.
JESSI – What?!
EXT. STREET – BAR
Don swerves down a street in Frog’s car. Frog is in the back giggling. Suzie is cheering Don on.
SUZIE – Faster! Faster!
DON – I’m going! I’m going!
Suzie leans over and unzips Don’s pants.
DON – Woah! My dad is in the back –
Don looks back to see his father passed out.
DON – Okay, go ahead.
SUZIE – Close your eyes.
DON – I’m driving.
SUZIE – Close your eyes!
Suzie clamps her hand over his eyes as she bends down. He tries to shake her hand off.
A crash is HEARD.
DON – Oh, shit.
Gregory is dead in the street.
EXT. POOL – NIGHT
Jimmy, Jessi, Zoey, and Dominic sit around a picnic table. The party is quiet, except for gentle music.
JESSI – I want to dance.
Dominic picks at his food.
JESSI – Dom?
DOMINIC – Go dance. I’ll watch you.
JESSI – You don’t want to dance with me?
DOMINIC – Jessi, you know I hate dancing.
JIMMY – I will.
Dominic glares at Jimmy.
JIMMY – If that’s okay with you, of course.
DOMINIC – Sure, whatever.
Jimmy gets up and offers his hand to Jessi. She takes it and walks onto the dance floor with him.
ZOEY – You’re an idiot.
DOMINIC – Shut up, Zoey.
EXT. LIBRARY – DAY
Frog pulls his car into an empty parking spot in front of a public library. Don is in the front seat of the car, decked out in vacation wear – sunglasses, floppy hat, Hawaiian T-shirt. Delia is in the back.
FROG – We’re here.
DON - What? No. Is this a rest stop?
DELIA – It’s a library.
DENNIS – What are we doing at a library, Frank?
FRANK – There’s a surprise inside. Then, I promise we’re going to Atlantic City.
DELIA – I’m walking home.
DENNIS – Wait up, Delia.
FRANK – I’ll give you twenty percent of my earnings tonight.
DENNIS – Fifty.
The Tip Jar