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She awakens from her deep slumber surrounded by roses. The sun is streaming through the sliding glass doors that lead to her favorite place, the balcony. She rubs her eyes as her trusty companion snuggles up to her, licking her face with morning dew kisses. Slowly she pushes the comforter aside and gingerly touches the floor with her bare feet. She runs her fingers through her long, auburn hair and stretches her body into a Y shape. She walks over to the doors, opens them and sucks in a breath of the cool morning air, the lady in the tower.
I walked into my local pub full of confidence and displayed my natural nature, speaking to all of my buddies, smiling, hugging them and asking, "How are you?" I have many friends at the pub. Dracula was there and I didn't say one word to him. By the end of the evening, he was seething. Then I saw Fireman Mike and we hugged and chatted until he said, "Let's get out of here and get some dinner." "Let's go,"I replied. Later, I learned Dracula was bad mouthing me to one of my very best friends. Get a life, Loser!!!
Celibacy: It seems I have to hybernate for eternity or gain weight and stop wearing make-up, both non-options. First, I run into Fireman Mike and we have another wonderful evening together. This could be the one. Now, I'm not interested in meeting anyone else that might want a date with me. Enter Arkansas. He is DYING to got out with me. I was up straight and honest about the situation. He gave me his number and hoped that the Fireman doesn't work out. Can't I go out in public anymore??? What do they see that I don't see? Go figure!!!
It's been two years. I've been on my own. What a wild ride it's been. I have settled into a magnificent job that I adore. I live in a decent apartment. I have traveled. But the dating scene has been the thorn in the side of my emotions. I have come to the conclusion that there are very few men around that have any substance. All they want is sex. I am so sick of it. What is wrong with sex AND fun AND movies AND golf AND laughing AND talking. Anyone for companionship? What is so awful about that???
Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. Unos, dos, tres, cuatro, CINCO, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez.
What a day!!! We drove down the 76, winding around curves, surrounded by lush greenery on each side of the highway. Upon arriving, we greeted our friends at the check-in desk...perfect timing. Jami and I played some blackjack, waiting for the sun to arrive so we could enjoy the pool area. It was awesome! First sun I've had since last summer. Then it was shower and go to dinner. Jami and I shared a filet mignon and baked potato. Before the night was over, I had gone "all in"and black-jacked 3 times. That table was smoking hot!!! Sweet!!!
Houston, we have a problem! Missy has some questionable friends with whom she hangs. It seems it is not difficult for 16-year-olds to acquire alcohol when an older sister shows no sign of good judgment. The fact that Daddy was away from home and Mom couldn't get in touch with Missy to arrange for picking her up led to another drinking episode at Daddy's house. Of course, someone threw up on the couch and Missy stayed silent. She is acting really sweet because she knows she doesn't have a leg to stand on. Teenagers are a handful, that's for sure.
The Prodigal Son is doing fantastic! I have to pinch myself to believe it! Listen up folks, Heroin is an EVIL drug, and I don't use the word loosely. It will change an innocent, loving son into a lying, stealing waste of human flesh. When it is your own flesh, it starts rotting something inside of you as well. No parent should have to go through what I've been through, but I'm here to say that miracles do happen. No question about it...just have faith and love...the rest will fall into place. I promise with all my soul!!!
In the vein of Carrie Bradshaw of "Sex In the City,"thefish would like to pose a question: Can true love override great sex? It seems to be my experience of late that the men I have the best sex with are the men who are not likely candidates for a relationship. On the other hand, the man that I believe would be a good fit and a great relationship and possibly that elusive "true love"is lacking in that area. Can true love replace great sex? Can sex become better when true love strikes? Stay tuned for the answer.
The day started gloomy. They call it June gloom around here, but personally I believe the name should be changed to May gloom since that is when it arrives every year. By the ninth hole, the sun had miraculously sprung to life (ok, so I willed it out) and the last nine holes were played in the warmth of it. Our team was only 3 (no, I could never get a fourth) and we had fun. Of course, the nature of the honor system was shattered as we used all our mulligans on the putting green. Par, par, par...NOT!!!
I knew he wasn't kidding around. I heard the sound as he tumbled down the 12-step flight of stairs. I could feel his cries go through me and I knew it was bad. I looked down the stairs and he lay at the bottom. His leg was broken 4 inches above the ankle and the bone had pierced the skin. Fresh blood stained his white sock. The fire department was on the scene in record time. I held his hand as his screams filled the air. As the paramedics took him away, I sobbed, "He was taking out my trash!-
Their names, please: Dave, Scott, Thomas, Scott, Mitch, Rusty, Frank, Jim, Mike, Tim, Eddy, Mike, Scott, Jeff, Jason, Abe. Honorable mentions: Kenny, Buddy, Gil. The first names are the men that I have had sex with in the past two years. The other 3 were more of a Clinton sex situation. I still see some on the list. Others were one time deals or just faded away. I have enjoyed all of their company but am still looking for the elusive "one and only." Will it ever happen or will I just collect names forever. Someday one name will prevail.
The date that never was. I actually had a date for a change. You know...the real kind where you actually go out and do something fun together. He said he would call me after work on Saturday afternoon. At noon I waited for the call. By 4:00 p.m., I began to wonder if he meant afternoon in Arkansas time, as in LATE afternoon. Well, long story short, I never heard from him so I ended up watching the Angel game at the Irish Pub. If I didn't have bad luck with men I would have no luck at all.
Ah, another Mother's Day. This year was a pretty good one. The Prodigal Son gave me the biggest card that I have ever received. It was covered with pink roses and had a beautiful poem inside that he could have written himself. A teddy bear completed the package. Then Missy gives me a great card with a very cool personal note inside and a couple of candles. Of course, the biggest gifts of all were my son's sobriety and my daughter's "OK"to go to the Irish Pub for a couple of beers. She didn't bitch at me at all.
Time flies when you're working two jobs, trying to have a social life, looking for love in all the wrong places. My life is not my own. I gave it away to the powers that be. I have no control over my own friggin' destiny. My life is owned by my kids, my friends, my bosses, my landlord, my ex's, the gas station, the utility companies, the banks, everyone but me. If I had my way, I'ld run through the trees, eat fruit, bask in the sun and fuck. Yeah, if I had my way, I'ld be a Bonobos monkey.
Imagine the tune of the opening music score of "The Price is Right." Blah-blah, Come on Down!!!! Blah-blah, Come on Down!!!! Moooonaaaa Murrrayyyy...Come on Down! Blah-blah, Come on Down! "You are the first contestants on "The Price is Riiiiiight!" The voice was of Rod Roddey who is now deceased. She just couldn't believe her luck. The first item up for bid was a sail boat. Now, being from Louisiana, she didn't know squat about what a sail boat cost. When her turn came, she shouted out $650.00, not knowing from where the figure came. She won. April 9, 1979.
Twice in my life I have awoken to the wishful thinking that I was 20 years younger. Why? Because lying next to me was the cutest, sweetest young man that I have ever had the pleasure of sharing pleasure. I met him on my 46th birthday. He and I just hit it off. Since it was my birthday, everyone in the Pub was looking out for me and wanted to make sure I had a safe way home. So Birthday Boy was my ride. Oh man, what a ride it was! Did I already mention how freakin' cute he is?
Mr. Bo Jangles with all your messy tangles, you light up my life with joy, when you play with your squeaker toy. Cuddling up to me at night against my back with your hair so long and black. Everyone loves you, it's true, but I love you most, especially when I'm blue. You make me laugh when I'm down, you take away any frown. How could I frown when you act like a clown? Those black eyes stare at me inquiring, and I say it's you I'm admiring. My dog Bo, my best friend, forever in love until the end.
Curly haired Surfer Dude came over last night. I've seen him at the Pub but he's usually hanging out with Rachel Hunter look-alike. She's our resident married woman who likes to drink and play pool and be away from her apparently unhappy home. Enter Surfer Dude. He's been hanging out with her for a couple of weeks now. He's mighty cute and, well, she was in Hawaii last night and I was here and he said, "Hey, hey let's go"and I said "Okey dokey, cutie-pie"and, once again, I had the best sex with no chance for a relationship.
The day was beautiful, the company was ok. I had a golf date. I actually got an invitation to play golf with someone from mygolfbuddy.com. Unfortunately, he is an Asian man. He's Chinese to be precise. I have never been attracted to Asian men and I guess it's kind of a shame. He was very nice, played a really good game. I must say, I kept up with the boys, but I can't see anything happening between us but golf. I have already received an e-mail saying he wants to see me again. Golf for sure...but the rest??? No.
Too whiny. If I had to hear him rant about his ex-wife and how he his still stinging from the break-up one more time, I was about to toss him over the balcony. I have no ill will or bad things to say about my marriages or exes. Why do people get so caught up in how they were "wronged"that they can't get past angry feelings of resentment? Don't they realize the sooner they "let go"and stop the anger from taking control how much happier they will be? He's nice enough, but I can't handle the bitterness. Sorry.
She was stunned. "Excuse me? Are you serious?" He didn't look like he was kidding around. If he was, it was a horrible joke. She had only had sex with him one time a mere three weeks prior. She stared at him in disbelief. At first, she wasn't worried. It was only one time, for Christ's sake. She put on a brave face as the news sunk in. After he was gone, she quietly went back to bed. She felt cold. Exposed to HIV. Fucking son-of-a-bitch!!! She tested negative twice so far. Hopefully, she prayed, the third time's the charm.
The green had eyes. The sand-traps stared at her like two huge eyes directly in front of it. The narrow strip of green between the sand-traps had to be the target. She knew she couldn't make it to the green, green grass of home by air. No...she must lay up to the front of the green, ever so carefully avoiding the beaches taunting her. She chose her 3 iron. With a good swing, she knew she could do it. The slow back swing and careful follow-through did the trick. Chip, putt, PAR!!! She was the queen on Hole 7!!!
I quit the nasty habit of smoking for over 17 years during my previous marriage. Now, all these years later, I'm at it again. I need to have my head examined. If there ever was a thing that is disgusting and gross, it's smoking. So WHY on this beautiful earth am I doing it again? For one thing, my ex didn't like it. That's why I quit to begin with. He was worth more to me than those coffin nails. Am I that weak of a person that I need to have the "evil eye"to keep me from it?
I am perplexed. I have seen the "whiner"several times now. He seems genuinely interested and likes me. Hallelujah, I like him too. But there are problems. His ex is one. He has a 5 year-old for two. He's 11 years younger for three. But we enjoy each other's company. He actually calls me and doesn't mind if I call him. He actually drove 30 miles to my place last night when he found out I was alone. We hadn't gone all the way until last night. May I say it was terrific? Now we have plans for Memorial Day.
"What is your favorite color?"he asked. She knew what he was up to but she was honest. "Blue,"she replied. "OK, what's your next favorite color?" "Pink." Flowers...he was bringing her flowers because she was sick. He said he would take care of her, make her hot tea, clean the kitchen, etc. She wondered why she hadn't felt that little thing called love tickling her belly. When the pink roses arrived, the feeling began to stir. By the next night she was hooked. She can't sleep alone now. When did this happen? In the blink of an eye!
The boys were in fine form. The Prodigal Son and his sidekick, Skylar, were on fire with the jokes and laughs. The beer flowed freely and I didn't mind. The Prodigal Son has much worse problems than enjoying a little inebriation from time to time. Alcohol was never his addiction. I was laughing the whole night! He likes Blue Eyes too. He just wants me to be careful. He does not want me to be hurt again. He does not understand. I take chances. If you don't take a chance, you will never know how good it could have been.
This has been a treat. I have had three men cooking for me this weekend. First, Philly made salmon with a lemon butter sauce. It was awesome. Then Skylar made steak seasoned with garlic and various other spices. It was terrific. Then the Prodigal Son made his specialty...the breakfast skillet scramble with eggs, potatoes, sausage, bacon and cheese. It was delicious. I'm sure I've gained about give pounds this weekend, but it was worth it. I've got men cooking for me. Did I die and wake up in another world or have I found paradise right here on earth?
It was a brilliant Memorial Day! The sun was in top form. I spent the whole day with my boyfriend. That's right...boyfriend! I can't believe what has happened in a very short amount of time. We can't stay away from each other. He is like the breath of fresh air he claims that I am. I guess we were just at the right place and the right time to meet. I can honestly say that I am beginning to care more for him every day. We spent the day basking in the sun and the glow of our affection.
He misses me when he's not with me. He can't wait to see me when he's on his way over to my place. He puts his arm around me in the store and kisses me in the aisle. He wants to move in with me already. I am mighty tempted as it would be a huge financial break for me. I'm just not sure about "living together"just yet. I asked him to give me more time and space. Let's just do weekends for a little while with a week night thrown in here and there. Let me miss you.
I was the one who said we should spend some time apart. I wanted to be mature about the situation. We've only been dating for a little over a week and I couldn't do it. All I had to do was ask and he jumped. I have never experienced this in my life! He likes me. He really likes me. The best part? I like him too. I have never been showered with more attention. I have been the recipient of pink roses, kisses, hugs, massages, "I miss you's"and "I can't wait to see you's." It has been wonderful!
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