BY Terry

12/01 Direct Link
I would not forsake the colors that you bring though the nights you fill with fireworks leave you in such pain. That's how I'd have written it. The toll, the cost, the price you pay for being with me saddens me and yet gives me hope. You live and grow and while you suffer you refuse to give it up. So you give it up and it's heaven and peace for a bit then it's back to paying the price. Could that I take it from you I would but all I can do is give the peace you need.
12/02 Direct Link
Anyone who has ever lived in a small space will recognize the intricate ballet acted out in cooking, setting the table, and serving of a large dinner in cramped quarters. Everything and everyone seems to be able to find the right spot at the right time, and the economy of movement speaks of a time-honored tradition and plenty of practice. That same space opens up and breathes, however, when thanks are given and dinner is cleared for a family hoe down. The spirited Mr. Edwards, gets the showy part and runs with it. Part "uncle," part friend and all energy.
12/03 Direct Link
Yesterday it was the furnance guy. The hang-dog divorced guy with two daughters who bends her ear about them. Is he lonely? On a fishing expedition? Today it was the former mail man vietnam vet with three (currently) marriages and two daughters he fights with and likes to tell her about. He's a right guy, so he gets a pass. Last week she had invited the current mailman in to have lunch with her. Such are the dreams of the everyday housewife? Good thing I've got my sanity back. This would have sent me off the cliffs of paranoia pronto.
12/04 Direct Link
I'm not sure it's necessarily a good thing for your family to have email. My sister, bless her soul, sends me every god carried you blind orphans saw thanks to faith cassie got shot cause she loves god and said so little timmy sherpa needs your business card we can all learn to be better from tragedy piece of glurge you can imagine. On the other hand, I can email my mom from work which for some obscure reason seems much easier to do than actually sitting down at home with paper and pencil. Call it a wash, I guess.
12/05 Direct Link
how do you sleep with the prettiest girl and afterword wonder if you can ever sleep with her again and when you might next time how can you tell her she's the prettiest girl and you know she won't believe it but then there's the wedding dress and the dress to another's wedding and in all, in as pretty is as pretty does, pretty does rock me back to the beginning and rock me back and forth to place that we can still visit and are getting closer to living in all the time. A pretty pretty pretty girl. Yes.
12/06 Direct Link
I love it when she tells me what to to do. Fingers. Faster. Fuck me. Call me a romantic but to hear what she wants and to go for it and to learn from every thing she says how to kind of put it together, that seals the deal, makes it special and romantic and makes me want to start all over again to try and figure out new ways to learn. two days to go i hope until we can share the best the first the worth waiting for because it's so cool for me. serve. offer. tease. feel.enjoy.
12/07 Direct Link
so she' s back. my baby. my mac plus. booted, explored. loved. The original fun of flipping that switch in the back. The amazing fact that there was no hard drive to begin with. disk swapping. hoo-hah. Blue moon, in and out and in and out. She's a bit older and not that bad for any wear or tear cried upon hoping she would start and finding that she didn't. Kludgy mouse. Telephone cord keyboard. a rhapsody in grey. then he threw in a modem too. Can't hardly wait. 100 words, old school. new dog tricks. Please insert floppy here.
12/08 Direct Link
And if the sky should fall don't fall on me don't walk away and don't leave me stuck in a spot that I'm trying to get out of. Help me help me son of sam I am sam's song still sings but it sings from underground and you can only hear it if you have the patience to learn why he's there in the first place. Waiting, hoping, wishing. Clawing all bloody and such. Straining. Screaming. Crying. Wanting to rise up but not wanting to use up his precious air. Finally not so much giving up as giving in. inevitable.
12/09 Direct Link
Fuck fuck fuck 100 words all nice and clear and then the cd goes in and the fucking box, the fucking unit, the fucking technology decides to cancel them out. And its my fault for not saving the minute I start writing in concentrating more on the words than the fucking mechanics of keeping and saving them. Here's big fuck you to the box the unit the technology cause no matter how many times you lose them I'll keep writing them just to fuck with you. Hey machine: you want some words? I got some word for you right here.
12/10 Direct Link
Write the obituary and write the commencement story and write the captions and heading and summaries of the clips and wonder if it all has to suck this much has to be so soul-deadening has to drain any spirit or any personality from you. But then you remember this isn't writing it's baking bread or digging gardens or shoveling coal or making sausage. Something for somebody who doesn't care what it says but needs to have it fill up a space or a need or a certain hole. Not letting it dig a hole in me is getting easier now
12/11 Direct Link
so that was the fight of fights the one that was supposed to break my back and scare me off and send me on my way? Ha! I say again. Ha! Like that could make me leave and like i didn't start it in the first place so you would be mad at me and not the kids and especially not yourself. I can take it all of what you have to dish out and I can live with it and not let it make me crazy and learn from it and hope that it helps you learn too. Eventually.
12/12 Direct Link
Time for the christmas concert in the hot church and the beginners band will plod yea verily it will plod but will do so with pure hearts and good spirits so it's hard to begrudge them the plodding then the other person's kids will sing and be clean and dressed for the occasion and will sparkle in appearance if not in actual performance and since it's catholic its supposed to be all about the effort and spirit anyway so I will make the effort to get into the spirit and become one with the spirt and saved by the spirit.
12/13 Direct Link
The penumbra of physiolatry bamboozled the illision to revalorise his bibliotaph his epitaph her epidural the procedural compunction to outrecuidance her diaphanous filmy flimsy filkeness. Inverness Loch Ness Herr Hess he Hessian Prussian passion to outrecuidance the farrago that does the fandango with her dingo. The baby the dingo ate the baby oh baby the dago dingo does despoil and dredge up from the distance dirty deeds that one done dirt cheaply can't come undone the mountain is farr to high and I can't not try to hie me to thee to wheel and deal and wheedle please oh wee!
12/14 Direct Link
One hundred at work just to spite the spiteful harridan in that particular cubicle who thinks all men are her boss or her husband and hates then all because they are not her and she can't see why they're glad they're not her and I feel sorry for her son who she is going to turn into her and I'm sure he did nothing to deserve that but then again it's not about him it's always about her with her for her no wonder her husband travels all over and won't get a job to keep him in town more.
12/15 Direct Link
darling more than enough. walk a while with me oh, you have so much paraphrase, paraphrase sounds so much better than steal. I like the curves of my communist ike reilly where are you now and what's the way to get it on get on the bus the bus to the superbowl where 1978 shall be repeated all over again except it won't be the cowboys it'll be the sucky rams I guess so high powered yeah right let's see them play actual defense and then we'll talk about it. Score 40 give up 35 not a recipie for success.
12/16 Direct Link
Bait bucket hodge podge nut sack crack up stove pipe cracklin' rose crank shaft fruit cake dust up bread box hat rack post haste dog leg over out hang out hang over over there hat trick hot damn tres chic rock out surf's up past tense post haste lust killer two bit hard core head case ball bearing do this sign up past due passed go pissed off right edge straight edge fly boy soft touch home run too cool zip it zip lock lip lock leg lock disk drive drive by drive on over run late night all gone.
12/17 Direct Link
Tofurky. Have to say it again. Tofurky fi fi fo furky. Tofurky. Not jerky but herky circle jerky tofurky. Kind of like Nonanna. Nanna nanna non nanna, nanna. I don't wanna walk around with your manna nanna tofanna blurky hi ho smirky ain't that quirky that lurky furky gherky perky pretty pretty pretty girl such a pretty pretty pretty girl ain't I hard enough ain't I rough enough for your pretty self my elf my fairy my food? Frodo no go no lo contender not the contender I could have been but the undisputed champeen of this here squared circle.
12/18 Direct Link
So far today I've been noticed canoodling (if that isn't one of the swellest words in the modern vocabulary I don't know what is and my pal oed defines it as to indulge in caresses and fondling endearments which I did indulge in and was indulged in doing so and that was after the occasional frottage which unfortunately the oed thinks is the special perversion of frottage..consists in a desire to bring the clothed body, and usually though not exclusively the genital region, into close contact with the clothed body of a woman. See also other kinds of aberrant gratification.
12/19 Direct Link
It is not known why Daigle was giving his parrot a shower. Folder is corrupt!! I can't read it!! Alcohol helps astronomers date stars, The clandestine Luciferian Masonic (CLuM) media. Chloroxylenol 0.3% one of the strongest antimicrobial agents. You can't kill ideas. But you can shoot the people who hold them. We have these stupid, goddamn, idiotic rules for a reason, you know. URL has unsafe spurious path elements. img src "/News/Daily/images/2001_07_20.jpg" width="185" height="111" align="right" border="0" img src="/News/Daily/images/2001_07_21.jpg" width="175" height="233" align="right" border="0" alt = "". Try your search on other Engines my husband, a guy who'll eat anything; and me.
12/20 Direct Link
So after I've debased myself, humiliated myself, ate crow shit crap crawled schemed struggled fought against and fought with sold sold out became a sell out begged whined whimpered dragged hauled hurled hiccuped hiked hurt so much so fucking much you tell me its not enough to satisfy you. You need more stuff more things more empty possessions to fill up a space you have about yourself and that you think you need to give to other people to prove you don't have a space or a need. Except we both know no amount of stuff will fill that space
12/21 Direct Link
Nobody moves and nobody gets hurt shows over johnny move it along hey mack where's the fire freeze my partner said freeze watch your head you're the scumbag that killed my partner we got the perp right here rights? You don't have any right did my partner have any rights when you shot him get down shut up I'll ask the questions what were you doing in that alley at that time of night what do you mean you din't see anything they were right in front of you your gonna have to do better than that we got witnesses
12/22 Direct Link
I've had the sex in the car dream the sex on the picnic table dream the outdoor sex dream the sex with her dream the sex with her friend dream the sex with a nodding acquaintence of hers dream the Victoria's secret model sex dream the oh hell the just about any kind of sex dream so how come the most exciting one that stays with he is getting every so subtly hit on my a women I'm meeting for the second time? Nice slender athelete's body bare legs in a mid-thigh floral dress. Touching ever so slightly and lingeringly?
12/23 Direct Link
To paraphrase Don Henly I got the email today I didn't want to get but I knew that it would come We received hundreds of wonderful entries to the Fall 2001 Short-Story Award for New Writers, and it was difficult choosing the winning pieces, but we finally did. Although yours did not win this time, we thank you for letting us read your work--it was a pleasure. Please do try again! And the funny thing is I'm not even all that bummed about it. The fun was in the writing and who know, it could win the next one.
12/24 Direct Link
So we did it we went and adopted the rats. Mom came around enough to see how much it meant to her and I have to say I did a masterful job as her advocate. They are clean and they are gengle and they do not bite and they will not escape. They better not escape I'll say that because it they do I'm up the crick. But they won't they like us and they like her especially they like the was she calls them by their names and gives them kisses and brushes them with a toothbrush every day.
12/25 Direct Link
Survived another one although this one wasn't too bad it started out sweet and fun with the living room scene and the paper everywhere and the not to heavy disappointment over things not gotten and things not being able to be given. Somewhere after mass (jeez father. A big crowd. A captive audience. Was that the best you could do? Don't let the grinches steal your Christmas?) but before the in-laws came the you gave him my gel pens and where was that card I wanted you to order for gretchmo? Recovered nicely, though, and did the cousin squeal dance
12/26 Direct Link
Happy christmas the war isn't over or wait maybe it is and they haven't told us but then that could be disinfomation as well so happy christmas the war may or may not be over depending on wther its colon washout, rummy, alfred e. or whover else doing the talking. One thing we know though is that we might never know so stay at a heightened state of awarness but act natually and go about your business and for gods sake buy something like right now I mean it turn off the computer and be a patriot for this once.
12/27 Direct Link
Operation national nightmare operation reelection shoo-in operating enduring scorn operation dig we must operation operating operation optimum outcome operation kill the sons of bitches operation shut up and die operation ain't daddy proud operation neverending pain operation fuck it just fucking cut it out ok? Operation distract them from the economy operation what else do I have better to do operation jesus not another fucking press briefing operation all right then let's get this over with operation none of your business operation hoo-doggy them bombs is so big and so cool operation look at me ma top of the world
12/28 Direct Link
i can only save one person at a time. today is not your day. you shall grow strong in your belief. right behind you now are all the things you're afraid of. run from them and don't look back. have a nice day. Lucky numbers eleven, two, three met the girl and it seems. i wanna be loved by you just you and nobody else but you. boop boop be doo (man that looks wierd) you could look it up in the internet. patent penning. all wrights reserved (especially robin wright penn...) hey lady, you got the love i need
12/29 Direct Link
Diary of a guy who sits at his desk all day and tries to not make waves and get along (with apologies to salon). Hum oh boy I'm here. Better check the email and then figure out who else is here and how it looks if I'm here after him or her. Hunker down. Don't express any opinions. Try to help when you can. Sigh as needed. Daydream. Make flirty phone call. Answer flirty phone call. Indulge in brief fantasy/reverie/bit of wishful thinking. Try not to get bile/back/dander up. Maybe take a walk at your putative lunch break. Breathe. Relax.
12/30 Direct Link
Bang Tango Live. The late great Johnny Thunders live (you can't put your arms around a memory. It's true) Stiff Little Fingers channeling the Jam The Weirdos dissing Happy Happy People Rose Royce. Me disconnecting from you or just wanting to get close to you (I forget which. Somedays it's both) Don't Get Excited When It Comes Out of the Sky as longs as its not All Around My Hat. They Call Him The Priest but now they're both dead. Legally downloading MP3's on somebody else's dime is great fun (thanks Jim) Cut Me Up Peter Murphy do it now
12/31 Direct Link
Happy new year happy chinese buffet with the homies happy fried rice and lukewarm tea and sweet and sour love and life and hopes and curdled dreams and leis. Yes lets talk about leis. About laying and being laid. I resolve in the new year to get to be to laid to lay to lay down with the lion and the lamb and to to not be either or not to eat either unless I am asked preferably begged to do so but asked would be swell too. I resolve to just try my best and let the shit happen.