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BY Rachel

05/01 Direct Link
warm wet soft moist hot cool sensual sensuous delectable tasty scrumptious luscious lush inviting alluring arousing intimate close joined one ticklish sensitive hard soft rough gentle quiet shy intriguing intense exceptional ecstatic overjoyed overwhelmed engaged interested interesting entering entered penetration collapse exhaustion relief climax peak pique peek see smell hear taste touch scratch massage tear rip shed scream squeal moan groan enjoy appreciate admire memorize remember relive revile release withstand withhold withdraw within with you me us our we love lust live life breath flavor friction flesh texture embrace emotion energize awaken unleash fulfill fill full expel satisfy satiate evocative
05/02 Direct Link
She remembers him fondly. She concentrates to recall the sensation of his fingertips on her flesh. She feels the quickening of her pulse and is delighted at the sensation in the pit of her stomach. She quivers. She longs to repeat the experience, though she knows that she cannot. She feels a swelling throughout her body and the memories flood through her again. She remembers detail of color, texture, temperature that she certainly failed to notice at the time. Has she made it up? Has she made it more important than it was? She doesn't seem to care at all.
05/03 Direct Link
clean laundry, the smell of roses, laughing, making someone else laugh, the high one gets from exercising, having a drink at a bar after work with a good friend, babies, babies' shoes, looking into the eyes of someone you love and who loves you, feeling relaxed, contented sighs, dancing in a crowded nightclub, the flavor of one's favorite foods, the texture of skin, the smell of yummy desserts baking, the greenness of a new leaf, the way horses look when they are running, a hot drink on a cold day, surprises, taking a wonderful photograph, living life to the fullest…
05/04 Direct Link
One day you will wake up and wonder where you've been the night before and I will know and I might tell you if you can compel me to with an interesting and amusing story about another misadventure that you had oh, so long ago that resulted in all sorts of turmoil and upset for you but is really very entertaining now that you have to opportunity to retell it to me so many years after it has gone by and escaped from being an important part of your life and recessed into the sometimes sad obscurity of anecdote land.
05/05 Direct Link
Sometimes there is a loud sound of pouring water from the general vicinity of my refrigerator and it (the noise, not my refrigerator) manages to startle me every time. For a while we had a serious moisture problem in the fridge and each day were greeted by icicles which kept all of our produce extra moist but were still not preferable to normal refrigerator functions. Our shower curtain has mildewed an unacceptable amount. Potted plants develop mold or mushrooms in their soil. Citrus fruits and bread manage to mold at an alarming pace. We haven't decided if we are moving.
05/06 Direct Link
A is for absent
B is for bachelor
C is for caustic
D is for dearth
E is for enraged
F is for foreign
G is for glorified
H is for high and mighty
I is for insensitive
J is for jet-black carcinogenic pollution
K is for killers
L is for loss
M is for matriculation
N is for nastiness
O is for others
P is for putrid
Q is for quelled
R is for rancid
S is for sloth
T is for trash
W is for waste
X is for xeric
Y is for yawns
Z is for zilch
05/07 Direct Link

hedonism
date: 1856
noun

  1. Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.
  2. Philosophy: The ethical doctrine holding that only what is pleasant or has pleasant consequences is intrinsically good.
  3. Psychology: The doctrine holding that behavior is motivated by the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.

sybaritic
date: ~1555
noun

  1. [From the notorious luxury of the Sybarites]: synonymous with VOLUPTUARY, SENSUALIST.
adj.
  1. Devoted to or marked by often excessive or effete luxury; synonymous with SENSUOUS.

voluptuary
date: ~1610
noun

  1. A person whose chief interests are luxury and the gratification of sensual appetites; a SENSUALIST.

05/08 Direct Link

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MUSTARD MUSTARD MUSTARD MUSTARD MUSTARD
LETTUCE LETTUCE LETTUCE LETTUCE LETTUCE
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RED ONION RED ONION RED ONION RED ONION
VEGGIE PATTY VEGGIE PATTY VEGGIE PATTY
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MUSTARD MUSTARD MUSTARD MUSTARD MUSTARD
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05/09 Direct Link
She wore a fire engine red dress. Her hair was curled and she had a French manicure. He was non-distinct in his tuxedo. She danced but found herself disappointed. It was one of those moments that is supposed to mean a lot but somehow never does. She looks back on the experience nearly a decade later, now that her sister has arrived at the same conclusion. How do people pack so much excitement and anticipation into a single moment? How has she arrived at this particular path in life? How many other roads might she have traveled if she tried?
05/10 Direct Link
The following is a concise (non-alphabetical) list of words that begin with the letter F and end with the letter M:

film
firm
foam
from
form
farm
frenulum
fulcrum
flotsam
fundamentalism
fascism
fathom
freedom
forum
forearm
feminism
fanaticism
fatalism
favoritism
fetishism
feudalism
firearm
firestorm
fandom
flagellum
factionalism
factualism
federalism
fraternalism
freneticism
functionalism
familism
formalism
foreignism
futilitarianism
futurism
ferrimagnetism
ferromagnetism
feuilletonism
fauvism
favism
funambulism
faradism
fetichism
flagellantism
fogyism
fideism
faddism
faciendum
factotum
fairyism
falciform
fam
fem
fantasm
fantom
fermium
fiefdom
filmdom
filiform
finem
flabelliform
flatworm
fruitworm
flimflam
flam
florilegium
fluidram
foram
foredoom
francium
frenum
frustum
fulham
fungiform
funnelform
fusiform
free-form
fish-farm
05/11 Direct Link
In college -- my second year -- my roommate and I would often go to parties and then walk home together. You would not believe the number of men that would shout lewd comments at us and then call us lesbians when we didn't respond.

Street harassment is so prevalent that it is hard to imagine it not existing.

I once went to an art gallery to see a woman's photography, and two of the pictures were large portraits of men with their eyes blocked out. The description explained that she took pictures of men who harassed her on the street.

05/12 Direct Link
There was something I wanted to write about and I thought it would be perfect for the restrictions of this project, but now I have forgotten it completely. It is no longer close enough to be recalled, though perhaps the idea will return in a few days. I always know whether or not I will be able to recall something given time or if it is lost to me. I remember learning in psychology class about "tip of the tongue" phenomena, when you cannot remember something but it is close to being recalled, and you need only find some trigger.
05/13 Direct Link
So sad, she slipped slowly. She saw several smoldering svelte Spaniards. Suddenly Sam said, "SayŠ" She simplified, saying, "So?" She stepped slightly, skittering. Thomas threw things. She sighed. Thomas trotted through the town thoroughly. She stumbled. She stopped short. Thomas teared, talking to the towering tramp today.

And Bernard cut down every French guy he intercepted. Just knowing listlessness made Nancy outraged. Perhaps quiet reopens sealed thoughts. Unlikely. Voracity wears xeric yesterdays zaftig.

Absently, boys can do exceptional forgivably giddy harm. Indeed, joys keep life magically new. Nowadays, only people quitting reality see things undeniably violent. We xylographers yelp zealously.

05/14 Direct Link
Dear Amah,
          Last time I tried to write you, I wound up crying. Once again I have to remind myself not to ask how you're doing. I am well. Your ex-husband is ill, which has us all quite concerned as I'm sure you can imagine. My boyfriend is the most wonderful man in the world, but it is eleven at night and he still isn't home. We have a little apartment together which I am much too lax about cleaning. I work at an elementary school, but I have to find a new job because the school year is ending.
05/15 Direct Link
Dear Grampa P.,
                    Life has continued in its usual fashion after your departure, though we do miss you. It is not the way of my mother to ever think of the past. I think I may have seen you a half-dozen times in my life, and yet I always felt close to you. Strange.
                    I am at another of life's impasses. Decisions, paths, choices, and changes all face me now. I do not embrace responsibility as you did. You and I were/are in different universes. My orbit is elliptical and wobbles, giving hints of a Jupiter-sized planet nearby.

                    Love, Rachel

05/16 Direct Link
Pajamas, twins, crazy, western, beach – thematic days at the elementary school where I work. Jordan in his lizard pajamas. Channing in his robe. Elizabeth in her slippers. Jamaica and Sarah wearing the same pink shirt with sparkly stars. Dorothy wearing brown contacts. Adrianna in many brightly colored layers. Madeline dressed as a ladybug. Khala with her hair combed straight out to the side. Elena with braids piled on her head. Helen with five ponytails. Kenneth in his cowboy hat. Sam in his little brown vest. So many children, posed in their costumes, each making a silly face for the camera.
05/17 Direct Link
Rachel, Rachel, bo-bachel, banana fanna fo-fachel, me mi mo-machel, Rachel. Happens, happens, bo-bappens, banana fanna fo-fappens, me mi mo-mappens, happens. To, to, bo-boo, banana fanna fo-foo, me mi mo-moo, to. Be, be, bo-be, banana fanna fo-fe, me mi mo-me, be. Feeling, feeling, bo-beeling, banana fanna fo-feeling, me mi mo-meeling, feeling. Very, very, bo-bery, banana fanna fo-fery, me mi mo-mery, very. Silly, silly, bo-billy, banana fanna fo-filly, me mi mo-milly, silly. Today, day, bo-bay, banana fanna fo-fay, me mi mo-may, today. It, it, bo-bit, banana fanna fo-fit, me mi mo-mit, it. Seems, seems, bo-beems, banana fanna fo-feems, me mi mo-meems, seems.
05/18 Direct Link
Oh bitter woman, calling my breasts small, singing Runaround Sue for that girl who cheated on you. Don't be bitter. Don't grow cold. Don't make excuses. Trust. Trust again. There's nothing better than when it works and nothing worse than when it doesn't. Love is what makes the world spin. I know you know. We all do. Thanks for the duet. My friends thought you overpowered me but I liked having someone obliterate my voice completely. You said you were drunk but had a good memory. Then you forgot my name. It's Rachel. Good luck in life my dear lady.
05/19 Direct Link
day play say hey why sigh I while smile pile bile frown down up pep crept keep seep seek still we wait by the window on lonely days looking for the sun to shine upon us and warm our arms. I remember days gone by and how they made me feel inside. This is some kind of life I'm living. I just don't have the words to describe it right now – so funny coming from me, the writer. Little symbolic fragments of thought strung together in the attempt to communicate. How would you feel if I told you something awful?
05/20 Direct Link
powerful black and white photograph; evocative of his loss; she wondered what it would be like to be an eight-year-old and to lose your mother; she wondered at the power of a camera in his hands; he moves adults, perhaps to tears; so much we didn't know; so much I didn't know; so much explained by his loss; your loss; I won't pretend I'm not writing to you. I am. You life will be full of firecrackers. Don't get caught up in the patterns of the tread. It's too mundane for a sparkler like you. Only so many years left…
05/21 Direct Link
When he called her "cutie" everything was absolved. She was released of the guilt she hadn't known she carried. Had he been mad, upset, guilt-ridden, bitter? No, he had still admired her. Her heart felt warm. Her skin glowed. She was sure to make a fool of herself, but it didn't matter. She was absolved. Pain and fear were obliterated. She could barely recall the features of his face. She wondered how his relationship stood. She looked at herself in the mirror and tried to be him seeing her. She liked the way he looked at her, made her beautiful.
05/22 Direct Link
I was a very bright girl. I understood what I was getting myself into at every moment. You could have been completely honest with me. You could have laid the situation out plain as day. I wouldn't have behaved any differently. I would have been down with the program. That would have been better than the lies you spread so thin. Why am I thinking about you now, so many years later? Because I am depressed. Perhaps melancholia will always remind me of you. Are you proud of the lasting impression you've left? I am going to bake banana bread.
05/23 Direct Link
My birth, Tuesday, 06 December 1977 at 10:18:00 am, was:

  • 771,942,929 seconds ago. Will be 800,000,000 seconds on Sun, 13 Apr 2003 at 4:31:20 pm.

  • 12,865,715.5 minutes ago. Will be 15,000,000 minutes on Wed, 14 Jun 2006 at 2:18 am.

  • 214,428.6 hours ago. Will be 250,000 hours on Wed, 14 Jun 2006 at 2:18 am.

  • 8,934.5 days ago. Will be 9,000 days on Sun, 28 Jul 2002 at 10:18 am.

  • 1,276.4 weeks ago. Will be 1,500 weeks on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 at 10:18 am.

  • 638.2 fortnights ago. Will be 650 fortnights on Tue, 05 Nov 2002 at 10:18 am.
05/24 Direct Link
Would I really have had more fun if he hadn't been there? What would I have done if he had contacted me? How far would I let things go with him? Why does he delight me so much? Why is he so stunning and yet so unappealing? Why was he so rude? Why do I miss him so much? Why do I think of him so rarely? Why has he never grown up? Why is he so grown up? Why do I still think of him after all these years? Why was he there? [Yes, they are all different men.]
05/25 Direct Link
We went to the store to buy a gift, but I walked out with two plants for myself. They are wonderful, with little orange berries that look unreal when you first spy them on the coffee table. Nertera granadensis is their Latin name. Plant names consist of three elements: the genus or generic name, the specific epithet, and the authority citation (often abbreviated). A complete scientific name also includes the name(s) of the author(s) who first described the species or placed it in a particular genus. Or so an online source says. Can you really trust something on the web?
05/26 Direct Link
My wrists are small. One of my eyebrows is higher than the other. I have two beauty marks on the bottom of my right foot. My finger nails grow fast and strong. My hair doesn't seem willing to grow past my tush. I think I have a fine belly button. I have few visible scars. Men always tell me I have cute toes. My thighs were so much thinner when I danced every day. They will be much thicker when I am with child. My veins show easily. I think my nose is too big but no one else agrees.
05/27 Direct Link

"Miss Suzie had a sailboat; the sailboat had a bell. Miss Suzie went to heaven; the sailboat when to Hello operator, please give me number nine, and if you disconnect me, I'll chop off your Behind the ‘frigerator, there was a piece of glass; Miss Suzie sat upon it. It went right up her Ask me no more questions; tell me no more lies. The boys are in the bathroom zipping up their flies."

How many times did I sing that? How clever did I think it was? How cool do the kids think I am because I know it?

05/28 Direct Link
Why were you cussing in front of your child? Are you oblivious to the impression you are leaving with him? Do you think "cunt" is an appropriate word to use in front of a small boy? And you're a woman no less. He was mortified. He covered himself and wished himself away. He will remember that night for the rest of his life. I should have told him it wasn't his fault. I should have explained that sometime adults make mistakes and you were making a lot of them. But perhaps he knows, he is used to your pathetic ways.
05/29 Direct Link
Hello stranger. Sorry to hear that you've had your heart broken again. Glad that you were kind to me after all this time. We are two different people now. My life does not even hint at what it once was. My personality is the same though. I am still essentially me, only with a hundred layers of shaping experiences piled on top. I wish you didn't want to deny the memory of us. I know you don't like something you can't have anymore, but your rememberances are what shape you into the unique character you are and are always becoming.
05/30 Direct Link
I like baby corns and pickles. I read every single night before I go to bed. I write online every day, and have for years. I take photographs every day. I have a favorite corner of the couch where I do all my computing. I often pretend to write a novel. I like Tuesdays. I like saké. I miss horseback riding. I love backpacking. I am going to visit my brother at Oxford. I'm going to have a party when I turn 9000 days old. But I chose to tell him that I eat strawberries and chocolate nearly every day.
05/31 Direct Link
One week left of work and I am desperate for a new job. What will I do? How will I whore myself out so that I might be able to buy a home and have a mortgage for more years that I've been on this planet? I'll miss the children, but their attention spans will be directed elsewhere. I too will need to focus on something different. But I would like to come back and visit them as some point during the coming year. Then we can have our bar night again, and I can see how they have grown.