REPORT A PROBLEM
aldo o welles
Can't cancan. And now too old to learn. Not that I would look normal doing it. Woman do almost anything men do and viiiisa versa. Don't know what to write. The dog is on heart medicine. I ate a sandwich that smelled like dirty feet. There's a lot of dust on the telephone. The refrigerator is making bubbling sounds. My feet are cold. I don't understand politics. Been missing my great grandmother who died about 35 years ago? I also know there was a relative who lost part of her nose to cancer. No one remembers. I remember the story.
There's a tank with a snail in it over there in the corner. I had one medium snail and then hundreds of babies and the medium became large and it died and the babies died a little at a time and now I ignore the tank waiting for the last one to die, too. I had a frog but people on the internet said it was cruel to keep him in a cube so I bought the tank and it killed him. He liked the cube. The bookkeeper at work has hers in the cube. It's about 5 years old.
Sick of young people. All that hope and ambition and all that snooty attitude. Here's a poem from the US Postal Service: Sorry We Missed you! We (and there's some undistinguishable symbol) Deliver for You no period I bid on a plastic madonna – ebay—because she had long hair and no veil. unusual for Blessed Mother. I have all this junk now but no ghosts. Only a headache. I have one doll that I had to put in the shed because she stinks. Cigarettes. I have one of the 3 kings. I know his head fell off and was glued.
I know my entries are boring. I'm sick, tired, and have nothing to say. I never feel like killing people, or doing much of anything. There's already enough drama in the world. It's almost 3:00 a.m. I didn't have time to take the dog for a walk so he pooped under the table. He's on heart medication. I probably said that already. If I had something good to say about somebody I'd say it. Louis Armstrong is nice but I think he is dead. I want to just finish this so I can go to bed. 4 words to go.
Just erased some words. Cheating. Starting fresh. Trying so hard to be positive but wondering when the killer is going to enter his words on the site. Wonder if entries are being monitored by police. Hope he's not a killer. Hope it's only drama. It's not really good to joke about this kind of thing because it so easily can be true. I fired someone once and not too long after he killed his girlfriend. Very sad. Who thinks up these crazy lives? I would never go back to being young. I wouldn't want to come back if we reincarnate.
It's 3:45 a.m. I don't sleep at night. I'm on some other kind of foreign time. There's not enough time to get everything done. Last night I dreamed of relatives who have died, except one relative who is alive was sitting with them on a couch. They were singing. I couldn't make it obvious that I was looking at them because the room was full of people and I knew that I was the only one who could see them. I bought three baskets of huge blackberries today. They are high in oxylates. Not good for my stone problem but
Dog has been freaked. Hope it's from 4th of July and not from my haunted collection. He is in the first room instead of in here with me as he usually is. He has been shaking and crying all night since the 4th. I painted 2 dolls too pink. Ordered restoration materials. Have been reverting to childhood. People make fun of diapers for adults but I will end up that route. have some from when my stone trouble was at its worst. All young people: no matter how well you live, you can end up in diapers toward the end
falling behind. It's a quarter to four a.m. past the day that I'm supposed to write. Supposed to. don't care for those two words very much. It reminds --those words remind me of plaid skirts and the color navy. White starched shirts or maybe not starched but at least ironed. I did like my miraculous medal that opened up bell-shaped with the bow made out of silver. It got stolen. The thief is either damned or he realized what a dipstick he is. My head is spinning from a combination of fatique and some kind of organic red wine
4 ½ hours late. Working on collage. Bozo is in it. Have nothing to write. Too tired. 20 minutes to 5 a.m. This is what is on the floor: kiss-off stain remover, Scotch photo and document tape, a beige sock, a paper cutter, a brown suitcase-like box filled with ripped papers and pictures, black shoes, a dog leash, a tote-thing filled with molding paste, paints, gesso, etc., a stapler, a dog bed, a dog on the other end of the room, a pink poodle toy, a beige Mr. Winkle, an orange 25 foot extension cord still in the plastic bag
Falling behind here but not enough to get kicked off yet. Just can't catch up. used to write regularly when young. Now there is too much work . No there's not. That is the convenient excuse. Watched TV for the first time in a few weeks, I think. Watched while glueing a project. Very funny stuff. Cartoons for adults. Must have been 1 or 2 a.m. and I was gluing a collage while watching TV. I'm definitely reverting back to childhood. Ga ga googy bit. That means something but can't remember what. I forget names but remember faces now sometimes.
Thinking I should stop this writing. just pumping out with nothing to say. On and on it goes. Too tired to care what is down on paper and since it's pretty anonymous I don't really care. Yada yada. Yellow purple. Biding time. Biting my tongue. Bidding adieu if I can ever remember how to spell it. Man o manachevitz manochevitz manaschevitz what a wine. A space in time saves lime. Stand in line save a dime. It's your dime, Jim Dine. Artists I liked that I remember: Raymond Saunders, Robert Rauschenburg too hard to spell, Eva Hesse, forget my favorite
Less than half way through the month but just can't let myself quit. No time. Will finish month but skip next month and won't start again unless there is time or something to say. Futile to just keep entering words. Running on empty and can't catch up. So tired raw need sleep need exercise sun the wind a break leisure dining out only 62 words help ug ug ug ug the dog is trying hard to scratch through the rug to find dirt not just dust but real dirt like in the garden 93 words ug ug ug ug ug
I don't even like writing. How did I get myself into this? I noticed that the scary man is off the site. He might have gotten kicked off or picked up by police. I think you can only write violent things if you are going to make a movie. It would also have to be a Hollywood movie with someone in it like I don't know who. I forget. If you have to escape and feel agitated eat bacon. There is a horrendous video of men beating a poor pig to death. I saw it on a late night channel.
It seems that the older a person gets the more one becomes attached to the dead rather than the living. I don't mean just people that have passed on, but also moments, years. All the minute (my-newt) parts that made up a being that no longer can be seen dance like ghosts around a person. Maybe that's why some old people sit in their chairs laughing or speaking to the air. That's about all I have to say. It is nice to not talk, not write, and not have too much to do with other people. Need some down time.
Just purchased Grey Gardens on DVD. Feel like crying. Remember that film from years back. Forgot that it was about the two Edies. Found it because my spouse asked what tally ho meant. Looked it up and also looked up Spiro and Edie and only found the two Edies. This only makes sense to me. Go ahead and skip this and read an entry of a real writer. My haunted dolls are lined up all in a row. Very cute. Not scary at all. The scary ones are the unhaunted dolls and the new blessed mother. She stands slanted. Crooked.
quit doing drawings of inane objects to go with the words. My average time to go to bed-- 3:00 a.m. Sometimes up until 6:00 a.m. Sleep until 9:30 or noon. Since my horse friend died I've gone back to painting. And I have the haunted stuff. It's all about following dreams. I can't ride a horse and she died anyway even though if I were well I'd ride one like the one who kicked the car but health doesn't allow it so I have a haunted clown? Just deleted too much. Mistake. Over 100 now under 100 words 0 plus
You go for years feeling you are the same person you were from the beginning. The infant is in there, the four year old and so on. One day you don't recognize anyone in there. You are angry with the world for being abandoned by who you thought was yourself and you are less than alone because you are not even standing there. A stranger is in your spot making tea and using your bathroom. You can scream out "where did I go!?" but it won't do any good. What is important is that you have a valid driver's license.
Some city parks have little to do with nature. No pets allowed. No skateboarding or motorcycles. No feeding the birds. I don't get it. The trees are all traumatized with little hairdos. The only refreshing thing to see is a rumbled old sleeping bum. He brings a little poetry to the place. Especially when he moves his leg out of the flat corpse position to point his knee up to the sun forming a triangular shape. It's a cute bum pose. Fancy bum in a sack. Didn't look like he had any worries. Safeway and Starbuck's were across the street.
I've started recording dreams again. There was a man in one who was dissatisfied with his work so he started showing me magic tricks. I also was in line to order French pastries. There was a question over parentage of a baby. I was either the woman or the man. I saw the baby. He was big. His butt was all hairy. I walked down a street named Jim Street and a building opened up into another hidden street with shops. Very Parisian. But in the next scene I was getting out of a car. Part of a black couple.
I drank an expensive wine tonight, but do actually prefer the cheap ones. Only like to feel relaxed, not drunk. Expensive ones seem to be more al x xhoxhcoholic. I have paims pains that I keep thinking will be cured by late night slight intoxication. Used to be healthy. Never judge old people. Their state has more to do with genes than exercise. Never imagined having pains like this and people raising eyebrows like it's all in your head because yu you are an hysterical old person. At least I did get to ride horses and jump a little. Crap
Nothing to say. Don't feel like talking. Or writing. Shoot. Bought book of poetry like: The land of shadows wilt though trace, And look, nor know each other's face. Most of the time I have no idea what they are talking about but I still like to read it. Here's another: "What monarch would not blush to have a wife with hair like a shaving-brush?" I like my fake cockroach. He sits by the mousepad with crooked legs. I hear the Twilight Zone on TV in the next room. That was one of my favorite programs when I was young.
Thought that finally the ghosts were acting up. One doll was standing on her head. Very yogic. They were all lined up in a row and I didn't notice she was upside down until late in the day. Spouse admitted to it, though. On the way out at 6 a.m. spouse flipped her. That's about all that's happening over here. If ghosts are here they have been pretty boring. I'll flip open a book and write: Gilbert & Parsons, Hygienic Whiskey for Medical Use, Cures and Comforts. That about sums it up. And now I'll start the day. Tally Ho
a spider on the wall. been sitting in the same spot for hours. considered spraying Black Flag or scooping it into a jar to set it free outside to probably get eaten by a lizard. used to be hundreds of lizards before we hired the exterminator because there are thousands of bugs that eat the trees. The trees are so tall that they could fall on the house if weak. I brought an alligator lizard to the garden in the city. It disappeared and was probably eaten by a rat. bullfrogs in that garden were killed for fun by raccoons
July 24 getting close to the end of the month ..will stop until there's something to say..good project to let me know that I don't like writing..what was I thinking? Tired 31 words. White dog in the country had a limp as if she'd broken her leg. Couldn't see what was wrong. Hot but didn't see mosquitos but the bats came out. 62 words hear cars tv on 68 words shoot ate today garlic bread jicama orange low fat cake thing lots of water a frozen vegetarian thing with sushi rice and then more rice a couple of crackers 99
Really hating this but too close to the end to just quit. Don't like talking or writing. Wrote about buying ebay stuff..haunted. Of course, they're not. Wrote about some true stuff and probably some not so true but can't really remember. Read some Walt Whitman poetry and liked some but most of the time don't know what he's talking about. Had a crush on someone once who liked him and figured he must be gay because Whitman was gay. It's too hot in here to be trying to think. Never much good at thinking or being able to stand heat.
Don't think I actually lied on this site but probably was misleading. Watched Grey Gardens tonight. Bought it on DVD. Maysles Brothers. Saw it when I was young and now I'm old. don't remember crying over the two Edies when I was young but cried tonight. If you see it on DVD make sure to wait until after the credits to hear comments by the film makers and producers or whoever those other people were. I'm not a big or little Edie. I totally forgot that movie but think it cropped into my subconscious and influenced me over the years.
Last night there was a skunk in the garden. This is in the middle of a big city. First thought it was a racoon and I let out a weird growl to scare it then realised it was a baby skunk. What do they do…hop fences? Wish I hadn't scared it. Put out chopped apples and a bowl of water. The garden is small but overgrown and since someone stole my ladder the tree is out of control. I like it that way but it hangs over the fence dropping leaves on the sidewalk. Neighbors like nature to be controlled.
There are people in this world who are very special. I seriously like Martha Stewart and Anna Nicole Smith. I also would like to have a St. Bernadette relic. There is also a 200 year old wooden Madonna that is at least $575.00 on ebay, Portuguese, with hair below her butt that I would really love to have. I think I should have never bought all the stuff I did and I should have just bought that Madonna. I had a saint relic and some really nice holy medals that were stolen by a con man a few years ago.
Sometimes when you read a really good book you realise that you are only half alive. How do these people hone in on these images like: "she is delighted with herself. It's as if she has drawn a picture and placed it on her own internal refrigerator door." Now I don't know where to put the question mark. I did ask a question, but it got messed up by the quote. Quotes are cheating but since I have nothing to say it's good filler. That's from Running with Scissors. You don't even have to read the whole book. "Nature calls"
Not sure yet if I'll be leaving the site. Probably. It's kind of like having to go to an appointment every day. Starts to get on your nerves. Time to get up off the shrink couch. Want to get away from the damn computer. Need air. If I stay on maybe I should have a set way of writing like: got up. Cooked fake sausage, marbled toast—rye/white, egg, sauteed mushrooms, hot sauce, coffee. Argued with spouse who shoveled in food before I sat down. Spouse won. Named rude things I do. My rebuttal was that we'd be fine apart.
Forgot to do the darn writing. 2:15 a.m. past the day. Will stop for August and maybe for good. Too tired. Distracted. Had something to say at some point but now forget. Brushed the dog yesterday and discovered he has silky hair. He's snoring now. Can hear someone outside. Mostly it's sounds of busses going by. Like some people but don't care to be around very many. That's why I don't write about them much. What's positive? I washed the sheets. Don't believe in saying too many personal things. Spouse is fine although an ulcer is possible. Sleep is good.
The Tip Jar