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05/01 Direct Link
The worst time to express resistance, disapproval or criticism to a creator (of anything) about his or her creation is immediately after they finish creating whatever it is. The more closely in time a critique is coupled with completion (and delivery to an audience), the more the creator will perceive that he is being personally attacked when offered a suggestion, or when a contrary observation is made. He may also feel that any less-than-positive judgment or commentary, is emanating from issues or history other than this specific work, due to there being insufficient time and opportunity for evaluation.
05/02 Direct Link
This is big! Tis a most bizarre fluke to catch a whacko high school teacher in the act of perverting a prom dance. Someone should alert the Catholic Church! In the next wave of American puritanical cleansing we may finally root out these most evil minded, heinous perverts of all; the unlicensed underwear checkers! These notorious miscreants should be required to register as UWC offenders before they can buy or rent a house, or even buy a subway token. A foreign government inspected machine should automatically put their unrighteous necks in an electrified pillory for ease of inspection -- theirs.
05/03 Direct Link
As a representative of the ACME Stock & Pillory Co., Inc. of Hang Town, California, I am sending photographs illustrating three of our most cruel and popular designs. Your organization may wish to consider these products as you make a determination regarding Mrs. Wilson's punitive disposition. We guarantee that the errant educator will find herself traumatized when her neck or other appendages are involuntarily bolted into any of these fine designs. ACME S&P sincerely hopes to be of service in this matter. Please know that we also very much want to see Mrs. Wilson take every egregious humiliation she is due.
05/04 Direct Link
SPIRAL TO HELL: A Practical Application Maybe wicked people are awful because something bad once happened to them. So they got mad. Which made them mean. So people didn't like them. The people who didn't like them let more bad things happen to them. They got even more angry. More mean. More distasteful. And further trashed by those who suffer them. Further pissing them off. And so on. If this is true, one important implication is clear: To settle the score with an adversary, irritate them, then prod them into loud angry obnoxious public outbursts. Safety Tip: Watch your back.
05/05 Direct Link
SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK BLUES (Part One) I was quoting Bob Dylan who was quoting "The Weathermen", the over-the-top so far left their right and wrong again, hippie terrorists of the late 1960s: "The pump don't work 'cause the vandals stole the handle." Every few years I read about the Feds arresting some quiet American housewife, soccer mom, PTA volunteer, who long ago settled into an affluent suburban community, has 2.4 children and a now suddenly dumbfounded husband. The FBI says she was mixed up with the "Weather Underground" in '68, murdered someone, and robbed a bank. But the truth . . .
05/06 Direct Link
SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK BLUES (Part Two) But the truth goes; she took the heat for her radical boyfriend, the true subversive. And it will turn out that she has raised Weather-guy's love child since she went on the lamb, convincing her chumpster husband that HE was Dad. Apparently, these old Weather-boys were all fated to explode in a lower east side bomb factory accident, OR they became gazillionaire investment bankers, who won't give their old "old lady" the time of day today, much less an alibi or bail-bond. I hate myself when I have to be that way.
05/07 Direct Link
BUSINESS STRATEGY: Business strategy can not be reduced to a formula. Detailed planing fails due to inevitable changes in markets and the environment, plus; chance events, flaws in execution, and the independent will of competition. Instead, the human elements are key; leadership, morale, and ability to identify the best managers. Structured operating plans only survive in their original form through a brief period of introduction. It is best to set broad objectives, and emphasize flexibility to seize unforeseen opportunities as they arise. Strategy is not a lengthy action plan. It is the evolution of a central idea through continually changing circumstances.
05/08 Direct Link
UCUM1ST@... CONSIDERED: He's up front on seeking cybersex. If she wants a lonely, dull normal, e-weenie; he's the deal. But he didn't write anything deserving the merciless ridicule and punitive denigration I'd dole out if he had. So I'm not inclined to cyber-rape his witless ass, unless he got her address some sleazy way -- that could be a violation deserving violation. He sounds like an ordinary yokel with a PC, and a crowbar in his pants. I recommend she execute a routine D&I (Delete and Ignore) before he gets one more instant of our attention. Don't you think?
05/09 Direct Link
ALWAYS THIRTY FIVE: Twenty years ago I was party to a mind reading illusion in a Greenwich Village nightclub. "The psychic" asked me to make a mental note of a number. He suggested I choose a number of no particular significance. I picked "thirty five". Minutes later he abruptly pointed and barked, "35?" Later I had a conversation with the bartender, I asked if he knew how the "psychic read my mind". He said "no clue, a mystery". But then he added; "Was it 35? 'Cause it's ALWAYS THIRTY FIVE. Every night the mark agrees, says he was thinking 35".
05/10 Direct Link
See, HEISENBERG UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE or...........go see the principal :) The humorous transition above caught my eye because I observe SOCIAL applications of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle all the time. A quick general example; the more I understand about my situations and environs, the more that knowledge will impact my future course, making my plans more fluid, hence presently less predictable (less knowable). Moreover, the very act of examining my current state of affairs, itself becomes a dynamic influence on those affairs, and alters my personal trajectory as I lumber forward. I can't learn about myself or anyone else without changing same.
05/11 Direct Link
SHOW BIZ LOSERS: Every quality singer, musician, and songwriter I know is in their 40s or 50s, AND they are all moaning the blues about their age! I personally think it's a broody rationalization for fogging over the real matter, which is simply that most have so far eluded the required luck, luck, luck to the mega-extreme, to glom the wildly random statistical fluke, that miraculously winning the way-nonlinear lottery of show-biz success is; and is required to cash in against microscopically small odds. Odds described in fractional proportions so infinitescimal only quantum physicists can comprehend them.
05/12 Direct Link
O'REILLY GETS IT: "Abdel Hasan Rahman is Chief PLO Representative To The USA. He's a nice guy in person. However, I can no longer listen to his insane rationalizations for murder. Extremist Palestinians do not want peace, they want to kill Jews -- babies, women, doesn't matter. Rahman condones the slaughter by saying the Jews are bad too. That argument is hooey. You cannot justify murder by pointing to injustice. By that standard, we could all become sanctified murderers. Don't give me it's OK to blow up civilians because Israel did something five months ago. That's just wrong and it's anarchy!"
05/13 Direct Link
SECRETARY WOLFOWITZ outlines Pentagon plan to conquer world: "It's not our desire to go around the world telling people how to do things. We do want to empower people to be able to govern themselves and determine their own futures, and that puts us at odds sometimes with certain governments who want to tell their people what's good for them. That's true. But I think we can be very comfortable in a world where people are determining their own future, and I think this is one of the things that's different about the United States from any other powerful country."
05/14 Direct Link
>>Cable News Commentator: "What should become of Cardinals Law and Egan, who have been accused of looking the other way?" >>Prominent Catholic Priest: "I think President Bush put it well when he defended Cardinal Law. He is a man of integrity. He made some mistakes in judgment, no doubt about it, in forgiving too often some of these priests who had made mistakes. We have to remember with this whole thing that the No. 1 victim -- and as the cardinal has said -- is the church. And I think that anything we can do to protect the church, we have to do."
05/15 Direct Link

CLAUSEWITZ VS. NAPOLEON

"We will tell the men what we seek to accomplish and why, then when the troops get separated in no-man's-land, knee deep in mud, they'll have some basis to figure what to do next."

In 1810 this new idea had grand repercussions for military thinking: Smarter soldiers were now preferred over nitwits! Generals sought to recruit soldiers who could read and write. Officers began learning how to treat, train, lead and evaluate their soldiers as people rather than mules with guns.

Clausewitz thought this stuff through and wrote it down. Napoleon had an excellent tailor.
05/16 Direct Link

As I exit to the street at Penn Station I happen to notice wandering elephants loose all over Eighth Avenue, the cross streets, station grounds, sidewalks, even the post office stairway across the avenue (which has major steep steps)! In total, possibly twenty elephants. In Manhattan! In broad daylight! No way I was going to find a taxi.

Suddenly police cars descended amass. Within minutes about 700 cops were swarming over the scene. Though not one had a clue what to do. "Can't shoot 'em." "Can't arrest 'em." "Can't handcuff 'em." "Sure can't toss 'em." So most went for donuts.
05/17 Direct Link

Nevertheless, the rest of the cops tried, though unsuccessfully at first. Their tactics were too grand or aggressive, like banding arm and arm in a wave like Rockettes, or polo-style herding with police cars -- forget that. These elephants needed a calm, friendly voice to reassure them, to show more confidence than the animal had.

Soon the police learned to group into small teams. Each team with one leader/spokesperson. Each focused on a single elephant. One by one, they bravely led the jungle beasts back to the circus from which they had escaped.

And I FINALLY got a cab.
05/18 Direct Link

Which statement is false?

a. The crippling delusions of false praise seem vastly preferred to the empowering discomfort of honest critique.

b. It's not winning, losing or how you play the game that counts; what matters is to escape with your life.

c. A good man may be savvy or slow. The wicked are sharp as a tack.

d. Non-carbon based life forms visiting Earth from another galaxy, will likely perceive humans to be ugly sacks of bacteria laden, viral infected sewage water.

e. Physics is the science of nature. Psychology is the science of why we slander nature.
05/19 Direct Link

WHAT'S THE THING?

The Grand Unification Theory (G.U.T.) sought to prove that the four forms of energy (electro/magnetic, weak-nuke, strong-nuke, and gravity) are different manifestations of one grand force as Einstein suggested. But the math doesn't work. If e/m, and the nukes are unified, then gravity fails. Alternatively, we can cipher e/m, strong', and gravity together, but then the weak' doesn't cooperate.

The Theory Of Everything (T.O.E.), bypasses G.U.T. to explain the universe as one homogeneous by product of a cosmic hiccup. "Everything" being; all energy, matter, anti-matter, and entropy -- all different angles on one thing.
05/20 Direct Link

DUCK'S GRAVITY/ENTROPY THEORY

Personally, I think the big boys at M.I.T. are going to chase their tails on this T.O.E. until it occurs to them that entropy can be reckoned out as the opposite of gravity. It's gonna be like gravity with a minus sign in front. But I do not mean some kind of anti-gravity that will make elephants weightless on Jupiter. No, "anti" does not necessarily imply opposite properties, nor are the two forces analogous to the matter/anti-matter relationship. But I do smell a paradigm shift buried deep in the core of this notion.
05/21 Direct Link

I can't express myself in a way that multi-PhD bearing knuckleheads will take seriously. I learned from scraps off the table, pounced on the incongruous, and applied my abstraction cogitator. But big time organized science maintains a protective lanquage barrier around the intake valves to keep miscreant smart-ass trouble makers like myself away from their solemn irovy towers of angst. You see, errant minds only irritate serenely deluded mega-techno biological info trusts (brains), as retained by some minutely petty mile-wide egos. Scientists insulate themselves for that reason and to avoid the paranoid rantings of mad men.
05/22 Direct Link

I tried to overview two of the hairiest puzzles mankind has ever tackled, G.U.T. and T.O.E.

G.U.T. gave Einstein headaches. He couldn't work it out, but he was emphatic that a solution must exist. But now it's been almost 100 years of G.U.T. ciphering and T.O.E. reckoning without success. Could relativity be wrong? It took two centuries to find the holes in Newtonian Physics. Newton's laws break down at certain physical extremes, like traveling close to the speed of light, or traversing the event horizon of a black hole. I have a nifty explanation for Einstein's frustration.

Please stay tuned . . .
05/23 Direct Link

WE BEEN HAD BAD

If humans were designed by superior beings (I'm not saying we were) and not a product of evolution by natural selection, there might have been good reason from the designer's point of view, to genetically engineer a specific comprehension and reasoning limitation into the intellectual potential of the human brain. Such a handicap could have been specifically intended to dampen our ability to comprehend certain complex and important aspects of nature -- to permanently advantage themselves over us. Consequently, human beings as a species might be forever incapable of understanding all the natural properties of our universe.
05/24 Direct Link

ADVANCED THEORETICAL PHYSICS -- FINAL EXAM

Which of the following statements is not relevant to G.U.T. or T.O.E.?

1. "If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it." (Dwight D. Eisenhower)

2. "Simply because a problem is shown to exist, it doesn't necessarily follow that there is a solution." (Donald H. Rumsfeld)

3. "The First Law Of Holes: If you get in one, stop digging." (Anonymous)

4. "If it doesn't go easy, force it." (Duck Nelson)

5. "Most people spend their time on the 'urgent' rather than on the 'important.'" (Robert Hutchins)

6. "Quack, quack, quack! Quack, quack...quaaaaack! Quack, quack!" (Duck)
05/25 Direct Link

Q: If humans were designed by superior beings, wouldn't we be like chess pieces, moved around according to someone else's purpose?

Duck: No! Humans have individual free will (IFW). The image of chess pieces moving around according to someone else's plan implies that the chessmen do not have IFW. IFW is a very important characteristic of people. We also sport a very nifty feature called CURIOSITY. Curiosity gives our IFW direction and motivation. In fact, these traits underlie our need to solve scientific puzzles like G.U.T. and T.O.E., or determine why we can't solve them, if in deed we cannot.
05/26 Direct Link

"If it seems odd to refer to politicians as intellectuals, remember that the term doesn't signify any particular skill at intellectual work. Ted Turner, and Barbra Streisand qualify; you get the idea. The intelligentsia are influential beyond their numbers because they control institutions that shape attitudes, ration information, and offer prestigious, comfortable lives to the young they recruit. The New York Times, Harvard Law School, and The Ford Foundation are a few examples."
-- Robert H. Bork, UNSUCCESSFUL Reagan Nominee to the U.S. Supreme Court, 1987

Wow! The system worked! The U.S. Senate rejected this insane, phoney-bologna, blowhard. I'm impressed.
05/27 Direct Link

The ROSWELL RODS Internet site is comprehensive and entertaining. There are video sequences throughout the site in which rod sitings are alleged to be caught on film (video tape), but I sez a few clips among many, including some (if not all) of the most exciting evidence; these are clearly BATS -- good old fashioned ugly and intelligent North American cave and grey bats most likely. Once you watch these videos thinking "bat", there is no question that any alleged photographic evidence of rods needs to be scruitinized with the possibility in mind that one is merely looking at a bat.
05/28 Direct Link

To grossly simplify an arcane banking practice: Sometimes your bank will report your checking account balance as some amount, and then say "but your available balance is some smaller amount." The smaller amount represents "FEDERAL FUNDS", and the difference between the smaller number and the larger are "CLEARINGHOUSE FUNDS."

For example, imagine you are buying a $20 million airplane for cash, you will need to make sure your bank is prepared to deliver $20 million Fed Funds that afternoon. The seller's bank would balk at mere Clearinghouse Funds and you wouldn't get your airplane until at least the next day.
05/29 Direct Link

Having grown up in the United States you wouldn't naturally assume the rest of the world thinks so differently, but it is true that Americans are the only people, the only country, with the only government, that believes we as a nation should help other countries. Other cultures don't have, get, or believe that idea, that value. Instead they think we are stupid, weak suckers for behaving the way we do. Some foreign cultures even feel they have a right to take advantage of fools like us, for if they were to forego the opportunity, then they would be the fools.
05/30 Direct Link

There is a CREATIVE CRITICAL MASS which, once reached, a snowballing of artistic productivity is unleashed. Many indirectly related efforts coalesce. Elements congeal then erupt, as an explosive barrage of new matter and energy proliferates.

Keep in mind however, that the inspiration required to reach this boiling point is neither predictably available, nor inducible. Moreover, while happening, while hot; half of the world screams: "Everything you're doing is shit! Do you hear us? Shit, shit, shit!!!" The ultimate dampener is that it sounds to the creator more like everyone, like 100%, like the entire world is screaming "we said SHIT!".
05/31 Direct Link

It's not a secret to talk about SNOWFLAKES is it? You go into him, you give him an idea or ask him a question, and before you know it, he's picked up the dictaphone. He's talking to it as though he were talking to somebody on the phone, and out comes this reasonably clear memo -- sometimes it doesn't even need editing. The result is a constant flow of memos to his staff, hence the term snowflakes. "Do this, do that. Have you thought about the other." Moving things along constantly. He creates a lot of activity. -- Wolf on Rums