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while watching television, I came across two young men, former students, Director, and Assistant Director of the Tribune Paper of Baruch College. After graduation, went on a awe inspiring mission to dare challenge anyone who has had any vision of hope, to one day have a business of their own, especially from a community that visually doesn't give much hope of such possibilities; full of disparity, would be quite a challenge to convince hope was possible in-spite of visual dismays. Door to door they took plight into meeting such individuals, offered advice, directions, as well as loans to start.
Politically inspired...,more and more by the rift of negative news that bombard us daily, uncertainty of our future becomes more of a daunting reality, too many breakage and unfriendly relationship. The leadership confidence and the orator skill necessary, that I think this country need to inspire trust, and encourage, there's a big disconnect and, as such, creates in me a lot of concerns. My only hope...that leaders can come to a common ground, where they can at least agree to disagree, and find that threshold that would be for the greater good of our country and the world!
So, I'm on a mission to have my weight in check. As it been said, its only "mind over matter"...well the matter to control eating certain things has become quite a challenge, especially when from a culture that has honed with heavy eating. Can you imagine traditionally people from my cultural background gets up in the morning and have for breakfast things like: fried or boil dumpling, yam and banana, covered up with, ackee and salt-fish and sometimes close out with a bowl of cornmeal porridge...how can one ever maintain a honest diet with food like these!
As a mother of two children---trying to juggle work and going to school is exhausting, but, I have to stay focus and positive because, I know ultimately it will be rewarding, and for our benefit. Creating a positive foundation comes from being committed, and being positive minded always. The devil will try to interrupt your flow...to create in your minds eyes a false sense of hopelessness; but I realize I have to fight the good fight of faith and believe in myself, and know that the Grace and the goodness of the Lord will see me through it.
I'm mentally having a good old time at the moment just relaxing; watching and listening to some old timers funk beat with Michael McDonald, featuring Ashford and Simpson; and the Doobie Brothers...sounds pretty cool, sometimes good to step out of your comfort zone from the things you know best in your era, to just appreciate what was once I guess, super!!! Good vibes listening. As a lover of music and art myself, can certainly appreciate the different genre of music and easily rock to it. After all what it does regardless of genre, is stimulate the body and mind.
Watching "THE WORD" featuring Sid Roth, Its Supernatural. So, Sid Roth is a man of God who investigate and verifies supernatural occurrences. Cindy was such an individual whose calling is to be a prophet. One of Cindy divine prophetic encounter, was when she was compelled by God to prophecy to a man in the street of Costa Rica, who at the time appeared to be having a stroke...as directed spiritually, she prophecy to this man that GOD told her to tell him that he would be the President of Costa Rica...this prophecy was proven to be so indeed!
A friend of mine while subbing a middle school science class, encountered a disturbance from the class next door, the teacher screaming/yelling at the kids. Her inquisitive mind urge her take a look...apparently, like herself another sub was escorting 4 young ladies from the classroom for talking and doing their hair in class. Yeah, she stepped in (couldn't help herself), she had a talk with the class, they apparently listen. She then ask permission to talk with the girls one away; finish braiding her hair; motivate the girls. She saved the day! no other negative encounters was amidst.
I find my self so teared up after watching this beautiful young girl; 14 years old, performed on America. Got Talent...I was so blown away by the innocence and pure beauty of her voice. More importantly, she earned the judges favor, which causes her to received the Golden Buzzer, strait to the live show. The sad thing, this beauty with her mom is actually homeless. Life circumstances can be unfair at times, but hope prevails. With her natural gift, this show is certain to present many opportunities for her and her family. Loved it, still bawling like an idiot!
Body, Mind and Soul...a discussion I stumbled upon, of four gorgeous women who's looking for "Mr. Right". So they laid out all their "Rite of Passage" as to what their ideal counterpart should encompass. One of the ladies say Mr. Right must have same or better credit score than her and must always have a job...reality check! things do happens in life. This minute you may be on top of the world...career, finance, home, car is covered and next, your facing hell! while things change in life the heart never will. She could be missing out big!
Its a Mann's World. So the Mann family is a Reality show, where we basically join in visually and interact with the day to day activities of the family. So, while the husband is working on trying to put all the little grand-children together for a community show, which involves fashion, singing, and dancing. Pamela is desperately trying to build up confidence and help rid some of the nerves that is eating away Tia, their big daughter into performing for this big event. My, my, she was sweating some serious bullet, but she did it, her first time solo!
I don't understand some of the things that goes on in this world and why? This lady is at a Airport walking around butt naked, I mean only in the birth clothing from head to toe, needless to say she doesn't have the most eye candy body appeal. She prance around, not a care in the world. The airport security wasn't able to have an handle on the situation, anything that was attempted in an effort to cover her was thrown off. At one point she went even further; bend over to further expose deeper areas of her body, unbelievable!!!
I seriously need to try and get this weight together, got to eat out less and do more home cooking preparation. Process foods are definitely a no, no. Must cut down on those cultural heavy easting, especially before bed. I guess I need to focus on mindful healthy eating, as oppose to mindless unhealthy eating! be member of the "Lean" plate club, as oppose to member of the "Clean" plate club...I really have to cut fats out, and I really don't need to totally finish everything on the plate. I guess I do have the power to maintain myself!
Remembering myself at a younger age. I was very active, involved in quite a few sports activity---champion in school leadership. It doesn't seems that long ago. However, I really need to get back into the flow of things, and do me; mentally, physically and emotionally. After all these vision of strength is necessary in helping me succeed in my educational goal. Right now my hunger is to complete my long aspiring dream, to become a Nurse one day. There has been some set backs having kids, but I'm mentally focus now, their future depends on me staying on track.
The group Destiny child has come a long way; doesn't seems that long but, they existed from in the nineties, wow...Beyoncé, Michelle, and Kelly did their thing entertaining the world. They were one of my favorite girl group, mind you, they all were great but, I think Beyoncé get more prop musically than Michelle and Kelly. Upon breaking out they went and do they own successful thing. But Michelle crossing over from Pop to Gospel, faced the most challenge being accepting as she transition. But I'm so proud of her, she didn't cradle up, but find courage in herself.
I Choose to Move. Letting go of doubt, pain, hurt and regretful thoughts. I Choose to go for more to better myself. Letting it go, procrastination has been a constant battle but in order for me to level Up I must change for me. It dampers my thought and dreams. My education has struggled, putting what I could do today for The next and putting every ones needs before mine has been my downfall but I will do that no longer. Planned focus,clearing of The mind, declutter of my space and thoughts. I must do better for better outcomes!
Jamaican saying. " If you want better your nose gone have to run." Early mornings late nights. distance be people, restlessness, frustration, guilt.These are some of the feelings that happen. You want better, it will all pay off in the end. I have dreams that I want to be my real life accomplishment. Never had a problem with hard work , just frustrated at times when your on track then distraction come along and take you of your game but remain focused you will achieve each goal one by one. My Future looks bright I walk in it with pride ALWAYS!
Today I was driving through Tampa and noticed little heads bopping around in the car in front of me. Not one or two or three, but four, (All heads except the driver- who nicely used blinkers and didn't slam on her breaks) Four heads up and down like a ball pit in a play place. Why on earth did someone have so many poodles in a prius and why? Red light challenge...curiosity hit me faster than the bug that hit my windshield. Blinker on, sunglasses up, and radio turned down (helps me think)... here i am right lane, head turned.They were not poodles they were ginger colored crazy haired children. unreal.
The smile never fades. Your gracious touch is still felt even when you are cities away from me. I still smell your scent lingering in the threads of my sweater from your last embrace. Protected and secure are an understatement of what is felt when I am lifted off the ground by your arms and heart. What happened to me to allow someone else to have such an impact of my guarded parts of what makes us all human; emotions. I promised to never feel again. I promised to never believe again, yet here I am... craving you to be back here today.
The crime scene is real. The lace is no longer pretty. Wings are helpful yet never fully lifting anything away. the cotton refuses to soak. The dull cement balls rolling through my insides is another delight of this fabulous time. Did i mention the butcher knives that glide through my sides at random times bringing me to my knees praying for strength to even breathe. Tears can fill my eyes just as fast as blood fills the bowl...underwear..drains..it never ends. Every month. Every period. Every emotional breakdown is a reminder. Thank you Mother nature...thank you for these child bearing rights.
Standing on the edge of the water I see not a single person or boat. I hear no birds and no trees swaying. The breeze off the water reminds me of the smell. The smell of accomplishment that I hiked five miles through the woods without injury or harm to a remote beach. This beach is mine. The sun is shining, kissing my nose with the reflections off the water. The waves crash against my ankles feeding my body of energy as I realize i exist watching the goosebumps trace up my thighs. No other feeling is better than the present.
Its ironic how a song with meaning can serve another meaning depending on my mood. Sometimes I hear the tones and seek volume, other days I feel lyrics and get lost in rhythm. Feeling lonely is far worse if your phone won't play pandora. Feeling excited has no level of achievement when the volume is all the way up. I love to get lost in my own thoughts but when I hear my favorite song on a sad day and if affects me differently, this song will never be the same or serve the purpose it once did. Why is this?
Obstacles were once fun when I was younger. Fun colors, shapes and sizes made obstacles exciting and wanted. Why did my gym teacher have to lie. Obstacles now as an adult are tremendous. Obstacles today, are vicious, ugly and never change in size unless they get larger. I still attempt to overcome them however it was fun when I beat Johnny jumping over a bight yellow cone to get a rainbow flag at the end of the field. Now I am challenging myself across a gray abyss to grasp what reality still exists. Worst part is, there is no flag, there is a signature sheet for the unknown road ahead.
Home is comfort. Home is where I can yell, dance, have no pants parties whenever I want. Why wouldn't everyone want to be home all the time if this is the life? Music is blared. Netflix is still on for whatever reason I'm not sure, pizza in the microwave and wine in hand. This is great. I can't imagine doing anything else...well except maybe a massage, having unlimited burritos on the beach and cabana boys promising me boat rides at sunset, but hey in time I might get there. For now, this will be how I spend my Saturdays.
How can I pick up the pieces if you placed them in your pocket when you left. Your words shattered our world and every word cut deeper and deeper. How could these tears replace the never ending smiles and laughs we once shared? Our relationship heaven like a mirror was at my feet. No longer a reflection of love and cherished memories. This is now shattered sharp thorns drawing blood from my body. I hurt. You hurt me. I'm glad you didn't bother to touch me because I along with the mirror would've shattered. You placed the broken mirror known as my life and love into your pocket and I never saw you again.
Drinking all night was a hoot. Dancing until i got blisters was worth it. I was with you. You were with me and we lived in the moment. The endless talks through the moonlight was perfect counting stars dreaming of our futures. We were best friends. The sun came up, we were not ready to leave. The beach is where we went. We gave the elderly woman at the counter an extra forty dollars for a twelve pack if she gave it to us before 9am. Your charm worked every time. We drank one beer each and fell asleep only to awaken four hours later when the tide awakened our new sunburns.
I don't know...there's a lot of angry people in this world! a simple statement or question, and in a matter of seconds, for no apparent, sensible reasons they just go ballistic; blow up in your face. People just need to take a chill pill, certain situation doesn't have to escalate to polluting degree that I've seen some situation spilled over into...you know, when people unfortunately lack control of their emotions, others end up losing their lives foolishly. Less arrogance, more wisdom of mental control goes a very long way. Lives can be saved! create a better world people.
There I was sixth grader shopping with my best friend and her mom for a tank top we both had to have. Walking by the lady section I hold up bra and undies laughing too loud for my own good. Her mom yells to us from the girls section so we shove the lace and fur sex life back onto the racks and floor to stumble our way to her mom. A walmart associate stops me by the shoulder saying I don't think this will fit.. pulling an E size bra from my sweatshirt that got caught. needless to say my face turned shades of red even victoria secret has seen.
Why wasn't I born so I could experience the 80s? Why do I live in a world where straight hair, not wearing proper fitting clothing or lyrics to songs were more than bitches and drugs? I have naturally curly hair. I like my body covered and I enjoy some Journey and Cutting Crew. I could've rocked the 80s (pun intended) without any effort and felt more like me than the me I feel like I need to be everyday. Not having a cell phone or internet would've been fabulous! Lets not forget the cars and actual time spent with friends, that would be totally different.
Moonlight or daylight? Cold or hot? tea or coffee? black or white? these were simple choices at one time... now I can't even find a toothpaste of deodorant without spending five minutes in an aisle reading descriptions of items like this. Even toilet paper has become a choice that isn't simple one or two ply. Its now do you want quilted, circles, bears hugging trees or puppies playing with rolls. Stripes or flower print...where and when will it end? Can anything be simple anymore? No. It will only get worse, i will get older and more set in my ways, yay.
Reading an article about a large woman swimming where I swim getting sexually molested by manatees. yes you read that right, yes I reread it four times myself. She said she is thankful she survived but is traumatized by the events. Well...uh..ya! How did this happen? well more than three manatees assumed she was a manatee in heat, which she was menstruating but was not a manatee. These male manatees were just as disappointed I'm sure. How this could happen still makes me uncomfortable to imagine. Wouldn't she start swimming to shore the closer they got? oh no then she wouldn't have been on the news.
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