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BY deanna

09/01 Direct Link
As my days pass me i realize more and more each day how much i can't stand society. i  have worked in customer service since i was sixteen. At first i was very timid and shy, then i started to ge the hang of thing. I always gave exceptional service an try to go above an beyond for the customer. In my personal mind i believe you should so kindness and be helpful.No matter what Ur intentions are and how much you care in customer service it doesn't matter!!!! You will always get  jerks an corporate complaints.
09/02 Direct Link
It was a normal November in year 2014. I went to Nissan to look at cars. I took a year off of school to work 2 full time jobs to save up for a car. Now in September of 2016 I have a nine percent interest rate and a huge car loan i can barely afford I work for this car! This awful car has been the cause of my misery for 2 years. and now after buying it brand new my radiator fan is broken  So my hour drive to work with no A/C is hell.  
09/03 Direct Link
Last June out of no where my mom ended up in the hospital. She was only 39 years old.  I went with her an stayed with her all day. She was having trouble breathing and they admitted her. Through out the day they kept giving her x rays, test, an she was on oxygen. Within a few hours my mother was on life support. No one knew what was wrong with her. All her test came back Negative for everything! She ended being on life support for 1 month in a paralytic state until finally her lungs started to heal.
09/04 Direct Link
I woke up and my tire was flat! Less than two months ago i bought all 4 brand new tires.  Apparently my rim is dented an its causing to pole into my tired causing air to leak. I guess the $1.75 i used about 5 hours ago to prevent it from becoming flat was a waste of time and money. That might not seem like a lot but when you have to put air in every day it become a hassle. On top it i'm broke an work on Fletcher but live in Oldmars. Its a rough life.
09/05 Direct Link
My store manager is awesome he is so willing to work around my school schedule. At my old job where my other boss said she has a connection with and sees me as her daughter wasn't as willing to work around a schedule for me. My boss was training me to be a assistant manager then eventually she wanted me a store manger.  I started to apply to other jobs and she received a call from aldi.  the next day i got a 1.75 raise, Sorry but that not enough considering the pay. then i finally left.
09/06 Direct Link
I see pan handlers and homeless people everyday. I look at them and i feel awful, i wish they had a better life. It hurts watching people in that predicament but at the same time it makes me angry. I know most homeless have mental disorders, but what about the others? I work hard everyday at a job i hate. I have to work for everything i have. I am struggling too. I loan my family money when they need it even when i don't have it. I can't stand getting off the highway everyday to a sad hungry face.
09/07 Direct Link
I feel angry everyday. It seems like no matter what emotion i'm having it turns into anger.I might not show it but i just can't take things anymore. I want to be a good person, a kind person. I truly do care about everyone an society.  You can only be used an abused by other for long, till it finally takes toll on you. I think i lied in the beginning now i'm finally staring to show it not even because i want to. That feeling, the stress shows in my face. This is my whinny life ("sign").
09/08 Direct Link
    The video Fish out of water by Dave doster reminds me of my daily life. I even showed my mom the video, she thought it was hilarious and very true. In the video the people in line looked all dead, some were doing disgusting unsanitary things. I work at Aldi the food market,   And that video was a great description of my job, of the way i feel, and the way many feel. That wasn't the only good part. Everything he said in that video, is the way i've always saw how things should be.
09/09 Direct Link
All i do is worry! I worry about my mom because out no where she goes into respiratory failure. I have a 14 year old brother an a 8 year old sister Ashley. If anything were to happen to her i would be heart broken. At the same time my older sister and i would have to take on the responsibility an guardianship of my siblings.  Everything seems to be crumbling.  After getting off of child support for the second time they found out it was According to Doctors and NORD she has Bronchiolitis Obliterans organizing pnuemoina. 
09/10 Direct Link
I went to racetrack last night to use the air pump. I was with my boyfriend. I gave him my wallet to pay for the air an pump it, while i use the rest room. When i come out hes done and back in the car. I get in and start driving and about 15 minutes later i asked for my wallet. I looked in my car so did he and it was no where to be found. We go back to the gas station and its not by the air pump. I look up, Its on the roof.  
09/11 Direct Link
Sia's New album "This is acting" is amazing! I can honestly say one of her best albums. I've been a fan of sia since i was 13. Many of her songs are on the radio now, when none were on the radio before. I would get criticized a lot for listing to her because her music does have a depressed vibe to it.  I've always felt connection with her lyrics. Sia is always offer hope and change in her music. My mom would say "why do you listen to kill yourself music" Now i can say why do millions 
09/12 Direct Link
    Once again i woke up an went to my car an the back tire was flat.  I called my friend James to pick me up, so i can get a can of fix a flat.  I put the fix a flat and drive for about three miles to make sure the sealant is spread around.  Then i went to fill the tire with air. I was relived i was able to have a quick easy fix. That fix is only temporary and should last three days. within 3 hours my tire pressure was back on. Life sucks!
09/13 Direct Link
Everyday i watch this amazing anime called Naruto.  Its about this young ninja. The boy is very loud and annoying and the village they resides in rejects him.when he was younger they Sealed a spirit inside on of him, called the nine tail fox.  It was a evil spirit.  That spirit before it was sealed inside Naruto attacked the Hidden leaf village. Many lives were lost  including his parents. No matter what Naruto always keeps his head up high and helps others. His dream is to become hokage one day. Naruto is a selfless character.
09/14 Direct Link
It was night before my birthday. I got off of work around 10:30 pm and i work on Fletcher. I stop at Wawa and there is this lady with her son. I get out of my car and she asked me is i could give her and her son a ride home.  It was raining  and i felt bad for the little boy. I said yes even though i wanted to say know because i was scared.  Hillsborough county is the highest for sex trafficking and you never know who is  going to be a luer.
09/15 Direct Link
As i'm on my way to work my Air pressure come on. I already put fix a flat in the tire that morning. I figured once i get off the highway i can fill the tire with air again. unfortunately i didn't make it and my tire went flat while driving 60 miles an hour. Luckily it was my back tire, so steering was a bit easier so i could pull over. I have full coverage insurance but no roadside assistants, I only have the tools to change a tire but no spare. Life is rough and to hard. 
09/16 Direct Link
Miley cyrus and her bangerz album have been one of my favorite albums since it came out. i still listen to it almost everyday. At first i felt kind of embarrassed listing to some of her songs. Miley cyrus can get pretty weird. After listing to her stuff over and over i love it all! That album is known to be a great break up album. The album brings life in me. I feel happy when i listen to it. I feel strong, i feel like i can move on and become so much more when i listen to her. 
09/17 Direct Link
I wish i could let go. I believe once i do that my life with come together. I feel like i'm suffocating. Its crazy how much just one person can bring you down. Everyone has told me to leave my relationship. I know i can move on and be happy, I don't wanna move on. I want to be happy with that person. I have been trying so hard to make it work.  Things just are not working and its becoming worse. I need to make a change, if not i will truly destroy myself. I'm done being questioned!
09/18 Direct Link
I can't even think straight anymore. I feel like I have lost my creativity.  Each and everyday i feel a piece of me drift away. I'm an adult now and i don't feel free at all. At the same time that is my fault. These are the choices i made and i realize they are wrong.I'm becoming bitter on the inside. I miss being cheerful, i miss smiling and it being real.  I question myself more than ever. I don't care anymore. My morals and beliefs are changing for the worse it seems. I need a change. 
09/19 Direct Link
My mom was admitted to the hospital last night. I didn't get out of work until 11:00 Pm .I told her i would come visit her after work but first i had to stop at my boyfriends house. I ended up taking a few shots with him and fell asleep. When i woke up i felt awful. I left to Starbucks to get my mom her favorite coffee. I get to the hospital and i get to her room and shes not there. the nurse said you don't know your mother was incubated. Those words broke my heart.   
09/20 Direct Link
My mother is very sick and its taking a huge toll on me. When things like this happens life keeps on moving. All my boyfriend wants to do is start arguments with me!! For what?, i don't know. When it comes to my mom i will do anything for her and my siblings. I've been choosing a man over them. I see how it hurts them especially my sister.  I have become so distant from my family even my friends. I don't go out ever. I spend all my day at work or school or with my boyfriend.
09/21 Direct Link
I went to Orlando to walk the "Out of the darkness"  walk for suicide prevention. I  was able to meet a few interns who are involved with the organization to write love on her arms (twloha). I have always wanted to apply for an internship with.  The story behind the organizing is powerful.  They make hope real. They offer love and support. Twloha is a non profit and donates there funds ti people with addiction, depression,and suicide, They inspire me to help people. I want to help people realize hope, love, and help is real. 
09/22 Direct Link
Today was a good day.I had a class early this morning, I am off work so i took my boyfriend to get a new laptop. Success, we found one!.  Its a beautiful touch screen laptop like mine. His is a dark purple mine is silver. It was only two hundred dollars.  He wanted to switch laptops with me, because mine is bigger.  Not a change is he getting mine! i saved up for this laptop not to just switch it out. When i do get another laptop i do want another touch screen, fore sure!   
09/23 Direct Link
This bed of mine is to comfortable.  Getting up is chore no matter what time it is. I usually wake up early in the morning. Lately i have been exhausted. Today my stepbrothers are here. I do not know why but every morning they all make as much noise as they can.  I hear screaming on who's playing the PlayStation first or who gets the  Television. four kids fighting over the same things. I wish they would just be quiet. I wanna scream at them but that useless. Screaming gets you know where, besides a headache 
09/24 Direct Link
My mom has a rare disease, it is called Bronchiolitis Obliterans organizing pneumonia.  They are treating her with chemotherapy.  She looks so sick and tired everyday, its sad.. My mom has to go though 180 days of this treatment.  This treatment is helping her lungs, but her blood and sugar levels re horrible.  All the medications she on seems to make her sicker, that is probably because shes on so many. one always contraindicates another medication, I hope this treatment works i do not think she can nor i can handle her on life support again.
09/25 Direct Link
Oh Aldi how much i hate coming to work.  I have to leave in less than a hour. My boss keeps telling me there are hiring more people for my the store. Once my store is stocked up they can transfer me to one near my house. I love the people i work with and i have a great boss now. The drive is terrible, if it wasn't for traffic i would just stay at that location. I have to leave an hour before my shift just to get there on time. I keep crossing my fingers for my transfer.
09/26 Direct Link
I went to a target next to my house, to buy a cute outfit.  It took me about 20 minutes.  I found a nice pair of jeans for thirty dollars. My shirt was twenty dollars.  I was so excited to wear it.  The first night i wore my outfit i destroyed it.  While i was driving i ended up  with a nose bleed. I had no tissues and blood  got all over my shirt. A little blood splat on my pants. I really hope the stain comes out. I get constant nose bleeds.
09/27 Direct Link
My phone is missing its sims card. I went to Verizon to get another one. For some reason my phone still wont work. It says my phone is having trouble activating. This is frustrating, like come on why? I took the steps get what i needed and now it wont work.  Now i have to go back to Verizon. I hope next time I hope my phone works.  I'm paying a huge bill just to not be able to use it. God i am so lazy, i really do not want to do back there, please just work.
09/28 Direct Link
We have a new manger in training at my store. Her name is Cindy and in three months she will be gone.Three months is not long enough! this chick is a snotty brat. She really needs to get her attitude in check.  I'm not afraid to talk back to her. Cindy doesn't even do her job correctly. That women believes she can talk down to people. Cindy will raise her voice to us and i'm just thinking excuse me. We are not your kids. We are grown adults. I can not wait for this broad to be done
09/29 Direct Link
Yes, I finally finished the 100 words.  This was starting to become a struggle. Writing a journal entry every day is a lot of work. I have so much going on at home and with my other classes. I need to start working harder and focusing more on school though. I can not let of the negatives things in my life effect my school work. This is my future, there is no way in hell i will work in retail my entire life.  I am really trying to be more responsible but it is harder than it looks. 
09/30 Direct Link
My head is killing me.  I wish I had some headache medication.  Motrin does not even work. Water usually helps. Honestly if i do not drink at least three bottles of water a day i feel sick.  I think i am just dehydrated today, but the thought of eating or drinking anything makes me feel nausea.  I am in class right now feeling like death. After class i am going to take a long nap. Hopefully i will wake up before the days ends. I have a lot of work to do in my english class