August 30, 2008
And than it hits me. He's gay. Noting has changed – we are still walking down the street chatting as usual, but my mind races, and reality slows down accordingly. I am watching my thoughts from somewhere a bit over my right shoulder, disembodied. The moment I realise he's gay, a gut response of disgust – a nanosecond of refusal, immediately followed by shame – can I be so small-minded?, immediately followed by acceptation – all that without missing a beat. I take control of myself and walk on, changed inside and knowing this moment will come back to me again and again.