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February 25, 2008
THANK YOU VERY MUCH TYLENOL KILLER AND I MEAN THAT MOST SARCASTICALLY

1. Remove plastic packaging before dislodging protective shell.

2. Remove protective shell by pressing down and turning counter-clockwise until a click is heard.

3. Break all eight radial plastic connectors between inner and outer cicles.

4. Unpack cotton and save in case product is defective and must be returned (within fourteen days of purchase).

5. Almost there. Grab a coffee.

6. Untie and remove ribbons in this order: blue, yellow, green.

7. CAREFULLY unwrap the wrapping paper.

8. Open the box from the larger end.

9. Happy birthday.