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November 28, 2006
Diaz mio!

Have you SEEN the cover of the latest "W"? Holy moly, mackerel, and fuck! Cameron Diaz is, as I'm sure the kidz no longer say (did they ever?), "smokin'"! She never did much for me as a blonde, but now, as a long-haired brunette in a white dress? Excuse me while I sprout a dick and watch in amazement as it stands at rapt attention, waiting for me to take matters into my own hands (or hand). She's so classy this way, though, that I wouldn't want to make a mess of the cover. That'd just be rude.