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December 30, 2007
DECEMBER – Christmas makes everyone happy, and you're left wondering “what the hell is wrong with me?”

2008 Predictions!

JANUARY – New Year's Eve, a time for reflection on how you've spent a whole year without really doing anything significant.

FEBRUARY – Valentine's Day, a time to lie on your couch and drink terrible, cheap wine until you pass out because nobody loves you.

MARCH – Your birthday, a time to reflect on your inevitable death, and the fact that your life has no significance or meaning.

APRIL – It's all rainy outside.

I'm not worried, though, things usually start to turn around in May.