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April 24, 2007
Sometimes when I come home I find the overhead lights too bright. At these times I like to turn them off and light some candles. They provide a soft, romantic touch to my evening activities, which include making my grocery list, filling in important dates in my calendar, or daydreaming about the girl down the hall.

Then Smokey the bear bursts through my wall like Kool-Aid Man. He informs me that my candles pose a fire risk. I tell him they will not cause a forest fire, so they are out of his jurisdiction. He apologizes for the mess.